Current Events > Why do people say men should show interest, but then complain about horndogs?

(+) Yeah! (+)

Graycap posted...

Maybe read better. It's a response to the bizarre notion that talking about a friendzone somehow means you don't respect women. I don't think not wanting to die without ever having a romantic relationship means not respecting women. If you put a lot of tine into courtship and nothing ever manifests it's easy to feel trapped.

I read it just fine. You responded to a post saying the "friendzone" is something that not nice guys talk about because they think that they're owed sex from any woman they have any kind of relationship with. You responded by providing an example of exactly that kind of behavior by going right to talking about how the guy is sexually frustrated, as if that makes any difference at all or makes women have some obligation to fuck him.

Tenlaar posted...

I read it just fine. You responded to a post saying the "friendzone" is something that not nice guys talk about because they think that they're owed sex from any woman they have any kind of relationship with. You responded by providing an example of exactly that kind of behavior by going right to talking about how the guy is sexually frustrated, as if that makes any difference at all or makes women have some obligation to fuck him.

Nobody said anything about obligations. You added that strawman out of nowhere.
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Dark_SilverX posted...

we want touch screens installed into our arms

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Flockaveli posted...

If it's not something you would say to your mother, it's harassment.

Hi dad.

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Graycap posted...

Nobody said anything about obligations. You added that strawman out of nowhere.

"Friendzone is something not nice guys say because they think women owe them sex."
"Sometimes the guy isn't getting any so it gets tiresome though." <- this is you

Look at yourself. Seriously.

Graycap posted...

Nobody said anything about obligations. You added that strawman out of nowhere.

He didn't. You very much implied it by trying to justify people being creepy with their sexual frustration.

I understand tc fine based on the premise of this topic. If being nice doesn't get you romance and gets you called a creep, and being honest and upfront doesn't get you romance and gets called a creep, then you might start questioning the whole culture. That's where we get red pill culture, black pill, incel stuff.

If someone is taught properly and someone provides them guidance, then they will be able to see the nuance in social settings, body language, and cultural norms which will allow them more success. Given that many people (men in this case) never got that at a crucial time in their life, and that our increasingly complex society is full of surface level hypocrisy and contradictions, it's no wonder.

I don't think it's wrong to vent about as long as it doesn't turn to bashing other people, which it often does, and which is also why it's difficult to have productive conversations about it. It's a charged topic.

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Graycap posted...

Everyone rages when a guy mentions "mommy milkers" and people think vegy is creepy.

Think about this statement real hard for a moment

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Graycap posted...

Like if a nice guy talks about being in the friendzone

That tells me all I need to know about you.

Tenlaar posted...

"Friendzone is something not nice guys say because they think women owe them sex."
"Sometimes the guy isn't getting any so it gets tiresome though." <- this is you

Look at yourself. Seriously.

The bolded isn't what I replied to. I replied to a guy who claimed that talking about the friendzone was disrespectful to women. I said it wasn't, based on the fact that the friendzone guy isn't always complaining about women, and instead sonetimes just complaining about his personal misfortunes and inabilities.

If I was replying to the quote you'd posted instead, I'd just respond that that's a dumb simplification of the usage of the word "friendzone". It's not always about men demanding sex, nor is it even always about men wanting sex at all (it could be about lack of romance). All the complaint requires is the guy being sad that he's never able to become more than friends with women. There is no requirement that he thinks he's being wronged by someone. You're tacking stuff on.

So nice try. I never once said women owe men anything or defended anyone claiming that. Don't add bullshit.

Glob posted...

He didn't. You very much implied it by trying to justify people being creepy with their sexual frustration.

Your assumption was wrong. There was no justification of any creepy behavior towards others. The question is about what behavior is preferred from people, prefaced with the fact that a lot of common behaviors receive complaints; nowhere is it stated whether the complaints are justified or unjustified. It's a question, not a defense.

Don't throw in character assassinating assumptions of people based on what you think was implied based on biased reading. Maybe seek clarification on posts you think are claiming more than what they explicitly said.
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TC, just stop

Badmotorfinger posted...

TC, just stop

He only has himself to blame. TC, don't blame others for your problems. D:

Badmotorfinger posted...

TC, just stop

I'm not going to let people lie about what's being discussed in order to dismiss the discussion.
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there is a middle ground you know?

I guess some people can't help being awkward though

Weegee205 posted...

He only has himself to blame. TC, don't blame others for your problems. D:

What? I even agreed with your post earlier and you still post unintelligible garbage like that lol. I don't have a problem.
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ROOTFayth posted...

there is a middle ground you know?

I guess some people can't help being awkward though

No, he should definitely go up to women and start talking about mommy milkers. Its just direct and not creepy and pervy at all!

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Graycap posted...

What? I even agreed with your post earlier and you still post unintelligible garbage like that lol. I don't have a problem.

I said that I don't think women are so naive that they are uaware that their guy friends would sleep with them, if she let them. They are men, and if she's attractive, chances are they'd be tempted. But that would only happen if she was willing.

And there's a huge difference between having the intention to sleep with them, and sleeping with them if they came on to you. I don't think the average guy has tried to sleep with most of his female friends and acquaintances. And they don't owe you anything.

Like with having male friends your female friends are your friends because they serve a purpose in your life. It could be anything because they're useful in some way.

Weegee205 posted...

I said that I don't think women are so naive that they are uaware that their guy friends would sleep with them, if she let them. They are men, and if she's attractive, chances are they'd be tempted. But that would only happen if she was willing.

And there's a huge difference between having the intention to sleep with them, and sleeping with them if they came on to you. I don't think the average guy has tried to sleep with most of his female friends and acquaintances. And they don't owe you anything.

Like with having male friends your female friends are your friends because they serve a purpose in your life. It could be anything because they're useful in some way.

But none of this has to do with me. I don't have female friends and I never said people owe others things, just that you're allowed to be sad about not being able to have certain experiences.

Just saying, don't assume stuff about people just because they have a different opinion on a subject than you. It's a logical fallacy. People fail really badly at being civil and a lot of growing up needs to be done.
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Graycap posted...

I don't have female friends

Holes getting deeper.

There's a difference between texting a girl to show you're interested in dating her, and just immediately sending her a dick pic.

It's probably something like that.

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Graycap posted...

Don't throw in character assassinating assumptions of people based on what you think was implied based on biased reading. Maybe seek clarification on posts you think are claiming more than what they explicitly said.

Multiple people reached the same conclusion after reading what your comments. And yes, people will infer things from what you say, unless you're dealing with six year olds.

Maybe the issue here is what you said?

Collat posted...

Holes getting deeper.

What? I haven't come across any significant amount of women who share my interests. I only state this to make clear that I'm not one of guys out there creeping.

Glob posted...

Multiple people reached the same conclusion after reading what your comments. And yes, people will infer things from what you say, unless you're dealing with six year olds.

Maybe the issue here is what you said?

I'm aware that I can struggle with communication and fail to get my point across accurately. However, I'm also aware that I said nothing that I was accused of saying. Those are the facts, nowhere did I say it was right to be creepy (I asked how not to) and nowhere did I say women owe men sex. You all added that.

Strawmanning being a popular response doesn't make it the right one. If multiple people are doing it that just means that bias against the socially awkward and isolated is widespread. I'm not accountable for the assumptions other people make, only the points I make myself.

I do struggle with inference, though. I'm a direct speaker and don't intend anything more than I type.
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ssjevot posted...

People act so weird about this. People want to be hit on by people they find attractive and want people they don't find attractive to leave them alone. It's not complicated.

Great. Now explain that to the people who deny this dynamic even exists.

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Lorenzo_2003 posted...

Great. Now explain that to the people who deny this dynamic even exists.

boom
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Lorenzo_2003 posted...

Great. Now explain that to the people who deny this dynamic even exists.

no need, theyre deluded

that said, on topic, there are ways to get to talk about sex fairly quickly with women without coming off as a pervert or creep, after all women also crave it

Graycap posted...

I'm not accountable for the assumptions other people make, only the points I make myself.

Actually, to some extent, you are. That's how communication works.

Glob posted...

Actually, to some extent, you are. That's how communication works.

hm

Well if I was good at communication I wouldn't have made the topic smh.

ROOTFayth posted...

that said, on topic, there are ways to get to talk about sex fairly quickly with women without coming off as a pervert or creep, after all women also crave it

Depends on who tbh tbh.
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what do you mean depends on who, unless theyre asexual or have some other condition they most definitely do

well you can't come on too strong and you have to be pretty close to the girl.. not to mention, you have to know she likes you back.

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ROOTFayth posted...

what do you mean depends on who, unless theyre asexual or have some other condition they most definitely do

That's not what most sitcoms taught us.

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Arcanine2009 posted...

well you can't come on too strong and you have to be pretty close to the girl.. not to mention, you have to know she likes you back.

you dont have to be pretty close to flirt and turn it into a more sexually charged conversation, there has to be some sort of attraction yes but you can usually tell pretty fast, if you cant tell its probably because there is none

Graycap posted...

hm

Well if I was good at communication I wouldn't have made the topic smh.

Well, yes. That's kind of the point.

The fact that you refer to 'mommy milkers' and don't see how that would be creepy and embarrassing coming from literally anybody shows this.

It's not some sort of crazy double standard about how men have to behave. It's about having some awareness of how your actions might be perceived or have already been perceived. That's something that women need to have too.

Graycap posted...

What? I haven't come across any significant amount of women who share my interests. I only state this to make clear that I'm not one of guys out there creeping.

I didn't even think that is possible. Even the shittiest most misogynistic dudes still befriend some women.

You've reached maximum neckbeard. Congrats.

Collat posted...

I didn't even think that is possible. Even the shittiest most misogynistic dudes still befriend some women.

You've reached maximum neckbeard. Congrats.

People like you are being so annoying.

Person talks about how they are worried about overstepping boundaries and a bunch of smug people just insult them. Maybe you've had more "success" but the type of person to insult a stranger might actually be the type of person who oversteps sometimes, and might be the type of who comes off like a creep that the TC is trying to avoid being.

"I've always perfectly read the other party's interest and not once have come off as a creep"

Ok, yeah sure. Somehow I doubt that considering the attitude.

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Collat posted...

I didn't even think that is possible. Even the shittiest most misogynistic dudes still befriend some women.

You've reached maximum neckbeard. Congrats.

You're literally insulting me just for having a small social circle and you dare distance yourself from the concept of "shitty" people.
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I acknowledge I'm being a bit harsh, but there is no reason to dunk on TC or imply they have some aggressive character failing. That's just out of line.

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I mean, he's being harsh himself.

It's really dumb when a forum bully like that guy pretends to have some moral high ground. So socially conscious yet resorts to middle school insults towards the unpopular guy. It's like fuck off lol.
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Graycap posted...

I mean, he's being harsh himself.

It's really dumb when a forum bully like that guy pretends to have some moral high ground. So socially conscious yet resorts to middle school insults towards the unpopular guy. It's like fuck off lol.

He's probably no more "popular" than you, likely he's just the kind of person who seldom looks inward about possibly being in the wrong.

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This is the sole reason why I haven't had a date in around 15 years now. Even when I know it's okay to flirt with someone, I never do it because I never know where the line is. So I never flirt, never show interest, and never make a move, and that's held me back a lot because there are plenty of women out there that would find be attractive. I'm just too wrapped up in my own thoughts and, 'what ifs'

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Graycap posted...

You're literally insulting me just for having a small social circle and you dare distance yourself from the concept of "shitty" people.

I just don't know how that happens. You'd pretty much have to be cut off from the outside world entirely.

Collat posted...

I just don't know how that happens. You'd pretty much have to be cut off from the outside world entirely.

Not really

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I think what you dont understand that this is is not as binary as you think.

There are infinite variables to everything and no one thing is the correct answer, perhaps what you say in your opening post apply to different people.

Though there is one thing you need to understand. As a man, no matter how you approach a woman, it will never be easy unless you were blessed with the face of an angel, the charisma of a great comedian, the wealth of a millionaire or the body of an athelete. This is for one simple reason, the law of supply and demand. Penis, or male sexuality is everywhere, so for every woman you might legitimately have feelings for...she has easily half a dozen other suitors vying for her attention, whether it be for sex or love, it doesnt matter to her because she only picks one and in her mind all these men desire her. Humanity in general is selfish, if you had six meals laid out before you but only could pick one, would you not pick the best?

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Yeah, it's really unfortunate. Even the competition for "ugly" women is too stiff.
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ROOTFayth posted...

you dont have to be pretty close to flirt and turn it into a more sexually charged conversation, there has to be some sort of attraction yes but you can usually tell pretty fast, if you cant tell its probably because there is none

I mean, if want to play it safe...

some people just can't read between the lines as well.


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Arcanine2009 posted...

I mean, if want to play it safe...

some people just can't read between the lines as well.

idk if everybody who "has success" is an expert at reading between the lines correctly so much as many of them are just the type of people who care less if they read between the lines wrong.

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I'm going to start up the History video someone posted in here about this whole gang war, and I'm going to listen to it while I play Crusader Kings 3, since it seems fitting

Edit - Wrong topic, lmao

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Bad_Mojo posted...

I'm going to start up the History video someone posted in here about this whole gang war, and I'm going to listen to it while I play Crusader Kings 3, since it seems fitting

Edit - Wrong topic, lmao

lmao great post for that other topic tho

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