Current Events > How tf do you make friends after finishing school?

(+) Yeah! (+)

I always had at least a few friends up through high school, but ever since then it's been a struggle connecting with anyone. I really tried in college, but nothing stuck. I feel so self conscious and aware of my social issues/anxiety, and it just feels like its getting worse over the years.

Any tips on making friends as an adult with social anxiety? >_> im never gonna be in the same environment as public school again I figure

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Why do you need irl friends when you have gamefaqs.gamespot.com

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Drinking

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SSJ2GrimReaper posted...

Why do you need irl friends when you have gamefaqs.gamespot.com

I can't slap anyone's tummy through the internet...

Smackems posted...

Drinking

Tbh i wonder if weed or alcohol would help my anxiety lol but that seems like a dangerous path to go down

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Truthfully...You don't really. At least, you're not expected to and don't force it. You'll have acquaintances, and overtime some may become good friends, but its not a big deal. As an adult right now, i can tell you that i have maybe 6 friends i actually give a damn about it. I have a lot of acquaintances. A lot of people i enjoy talking to, but as far as, for lack of a better phrase, "ride or die" friends...its only 5 or 6. And i like it that way.

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I mostly try to befriend people at work lol. Many people don't keep in touch, but I feel like I've made 3 genuine friends these last couple of years.

I've also seen the suggestion of looking for a group on something like Meetup.

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Coworkers or through old friends, family members and neighbors....

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It's definitely a lot harder. I feel like most of the friends I made after college I met through another friend at a party or other get together. I'd really just recommend going to things where there's going to be some kind of mutual interest with the people attending.

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TeaMilk posted...

I can't slap anyone's tummy through the internet...

Tbh i wonder if weed or alcohol would help my anxiety lol but that seems like a dangerous path to go down

It's only dangerous if you don't know how to stop

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u dooooont

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Coworkers and friends of coworkers tbh

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You have to host a CEmeetup

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CalypsoDoom posted...

Dude I have no idea either

shit sucks

I'll let you know if I figure it out lol. Does your bf have friends he could introduce you to? I feel like having a mutual connection helps

TheVipaGTS posted...

Truthfully...You don't really. At least, you're not expected to and don't force it. You'll have acquaintances, and overtime some may become good friends, but its not a big deal. As an adult right now, i can tell you that i have maybe 6 friends i actually give a damn about it. I have a lot of acquaintances. A lot of people i enjoy talking to, but as far as, for lack of a better phrase, "ride or die" friends...its only 5 or 6. And i like it that way.

Yeah I get its definitely different in the adult world. But id love to go back to having 5 or 6 good friends again. The only person im on the level of "talks to regularly" is my bf really

NoxObscuras posted...

I mostly try to befriend people at work lol. Many people don't keep in touch, but I feel like I've made 3 genuine friends these last couple of years.

I've also seen the suggestion of looking for a group on something like Meetup.

Yeah I struggle with that too... I guess its kind of hard for me to connect with coworkers, im the only person in my team who's not a guy, and most coworkers are a lot older. Plus the work is remote so that has its own difficulties.

if/when covid restrictions open up more, there's a local game dev group that has meetings I want to attend again, I think it'll help to drag my bf there for support

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Through work. Id actually say Ive made better friends though work, especially at Cabelas were I worked with a bunch of people who just loved to hunt, fish, camp and enjoy a few beers.

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as others have said, its definitely harder to make friends as an adult. im weird and i dont like making friends with co-workers, i like to keep work separate.

what kinda hobbies do you have? find local groups that are into those hobbies and get out there. so if you like board games or CCGs, go to the local board game shop for open game night or CCG tournaments, etc. like bowling? join a league.

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I don't.

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make kids
make your kids make friends with other kids
now other kids parents are your friends, whether you like them or not

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DuranOfForcena posted...

seems like a lot of work

it's considerably harder to maintain relationships as an adult vs as a child/teenager
making kids is pretty easy though

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hobbies like gym or surfing classes are a good way. or going out at a bar or something.

but yeah, i dont mind making friends at work but it has to be natural. dont like that forced socialization at work type of shit. makes me feel uncomfortable...

I made friends in my apartment complex. One my best friends now. He was mad younger when we crossed paths so I started off more as a mentor. We just both hung out at the drug spot in the woods next to the complex. I'd always tell him when he was taking things too far or making stupid decisions. 10 years later we're just equals/friends now.

It might of been weird to most, cause the age gap. But when you have good intentions and genuinely care about people as a whole, it's kind of cool to see how you can mentor a younger person away from wreckless behavior

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Meetup app

Though a lot of people use that app just to find people to bang

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I'm 30 now and made friends through work mostly.

I'm pretty anti social to but I have a good amount of friends now. Usually just started from having things in common like sports or video games and it goes into inviting people out to hang put and get drinks or whatever.

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MacadamianNut3 posted...

Meetup app

Though a lot of people use that app just to find people to bang

That's the lame part of apps. Everyone assumes banging. Basic ass people with basic ass wants flooding the apps. I want a personal connection with people, cause Im corny or whatever people see that as. You get friends first and widen your friends group by sharing friends and then you find sexual partners and dating worthy people that way. It's easier to get genuine connections that way. Or maybe Im just old school.

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TeaMilk posted...

Yeah I struggle with that too... I guess its kind of hard for me to connect with coworkers, im the only person in my team who's not a guy, and most coworkers are a lot older. Plus the work is remote so that has its own difficulties.

if/when covid restrictions open up more, there's a local game dev group that has meetings I want to attend again, I think it'll help to drag my bf there for support

Oh that sucks. I did manage to become good friends with a few people that are 10+ years older than me, but they're gen X, and I don't always see eye to eye with people from that generation lol.

[LFAQs-redacted-quote]

That's the part that sucks. A lot of the "work friends" don't keep in touch after you no longer work together.

I still work with most of my work friends, so I can't be sure which ones will keep in touch. So far only one former co-worker keeps in touch regularly. She actually talks to me more often than my best friend from high school does.

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meetup, rec sports league, volunteer organizations, dating, and/or being social with neighbors.

Truth is a lot of making friendships as an adult is being proactively social.
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You don't

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I approach random people and ask them "Hey you wanna go do some freaky nasty friend stuff????"

Never works.

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Group interests and/or solo interest groups
Work friends. Helps that socialising is done in pubs here in Ireland