Board 8 > It looks like Dan Avidan of NinjaSexParty/Game Grumps is accused of grooming.

(+) Yeah! (+)

Blue-G posted...

A mid-30s D-list celeb hooking up with a 22 year old fan is about the lowest bar for a controversy I've seen.

Also the fact that a forum that exists solely to trash on GameGrumps for firing JonTron like a decade ago are just adding random made up details and people are parroting the claims as if they have merit is ridiculous.

Hooking up with over a dozen early-20's fans and lying to them all about his intentions, btw.

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StifledSilence posted...

I never said what he did was good. But I think its really reaching to say these girls are victims for choices they made.

i just don't see how "the girls were really dumb" is an argument for them not being victims. like, if i lose all of my money because i'm really dumb and i responded to a scam e-mail, i'm still a victim.

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PrivateBiscuit1 posted...

Hooking up with over a dozen early-20's fans and lying to them all about his intentions, btw.

This was years ago when he was in his 30s. Even still, a 42 year old hooking up with a 22 year old wouldn't exactly be a controversy either.

PrivateBiscuit1 posted...

...Even if they made these decisions based off of lies?

When they have watched thousands of hours of Dan Avidan, who presents himself as a sweet and honest guy?

With an entire fanbase of people who also say "He's so kind and caring!" I mean we had someone in this topic post that all of this is a lie because Dan is too nice of a dude.

Why would they have any reason to believe he was being dishonest when he's treating them like they're special and NOT like he's talking to a bunch of other women?

Maybe this is mean, but like...who cares?

Youre acting like these people had no ability to think here and its silly. Dan is a fuckboy and the people who fell for it are dumb. There really isnt a winner here. Its pretty sad this is even being mentioned in the news or wherever.
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Blue-G posted...

This was years ago when he was in his 30s. Even still, a 42 year old hooking up with a 22 year old wouldn't exactly be a controversy either.

I feel like you're just purposefully ignoring the actual malicious part of it where he is lying to them and ghosting them immediately after.

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So he's an ass, whoop-d- do. Don't like that he's an ass then don't watch him.

Being an ass is leagues different than the grooming accusations he was facing.

StifledSilence posted...

Maybe this is mean, but like...who cares?

Youre acting like these people had no ability to think here and its silly. Dan is a fuckboy and the people who fell for it are dumb. There really isnt a winner here. Its pretty sad this is even being mentioned in the news or wherever.

You're right. That is mean.

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Mr Lasastryke posted...

i just don't see how "the girls were really dumb" is an argument for them not being victims. like, if i lose all of my money because i'm really dumb and i responded to a scam e-mail, i'm still a victim.

You would be the victim of a calculated attack. Things were stolen from you.

What was stolen from these victims? Were they raped or robbed? Feeling sad someone you liked was a fuckboy isnt making them victims.
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Blue-G posted...

So he's an ass, whoop-d- do. Don't like that he's an ass then don't watch him.

i don't.

but apparently plenty of people still think he's not an ass, so i'd say this is worth discussing!


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StifledSilence posted...

You would be the victim of a calculated attack. Things were stolen from you.

What was stolen from these victims? Were they raped or robbed? Feeling sad someone you liked was a fuckboy isnt making them victims.

They are a victim of emotional abuse and manipulation.

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StifledSilence posted...

What was stolen from these victims? Were they raped or robbed? Feeling sad someone you liked was a fuckboy isnt making them victims.

i don't know how badly he affected these girls, admittedly. but emotional abuse can be a pretty serious issue.

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Mr Lasastryke posted...

i don't.

but apparently plenty of people still think he's not an ass, so i'd say this is worth discussing!

I mean, if your goal in life is to out every asshole in the world you've got your work cut out for you.

Holy shit this topic

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Mr Lasastryke posted...

i don't know how badly he affected these girls, admittedly. but emotional abuse can be a pretty serious issue.

I agree that is a serious issue. But I dont see that in this situation. It just seems like baseline lame fuckboy shit.
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StifledSilence posted...

I agree that is a serious issue. But I dont see that in this situation. It just seems like baseline lame fuckboy shit.

Is it that you don't see it or is it that you're vehemently refusing to believe it could have happened

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StifledSilence posted...

You would be the victim of a calculated attack. Things were stolen from you.

What was stolen from these victims? Were they raped or robbed? Feeling sad someone you liked was a fuckboy isnt making them victims.

I mean... if you lie to fraud someone and then they choose to give you money it's still a crime.

Girl in her early 20's gets lied to by idol and promised a relationship is then used for sex and then ghosted entirely.

Yeah, I don't know if there's any emotional abuse or manipulation there either.

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HashtagSEP posted...

Is it that you don't see it or is it that you're vehemently refusing to believe it could have happened

If he actually did emotionally manipulate people, then thats terrible.

But this situation doesnt seem like that to me. It seems more like the crazy fans are angry he fuckboyd them and want to try and get something out of it.
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StifledSilence posted...

If he actually did emotionally manipulate people, then thats terrible.

He promised girls who idolize him a relationship. They trusted him. He fucks them. He refuses to talk to them ever again.

What do you call that if not emotional manipulation?

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StifledSilence posted...

If he actually did emotionally manipulate people, then thats terrible.

But this situation doesnt seem like that to me. It seems more like the crazy fans are angry he fuckboyd them and want to try and get something out of it.

I dunno, a guy in his late thirties/early forties that purposely targets young fans and lies to them for sex seems pretty emotionally manipulative. How big of a deal that is to somebody is obviously going to differ, but I'd think I'd consider that a bad thing over "They're just ganging up on him to get something out of it!"

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PrivateBiscuit1 posted...

He promised girls who idolize him a relationship. They trusted him. He fucks them. He refuses to talk to them ever again.

What do you call that if not emotional manipulation?

Again, they all had the ability to just say no to the internet weirdo. He didnt hypnotize them. I cant agree with saying they were helpless because hes their idol. Its abusive if he forces them into it. Dan sucks for lying, but that makes him a liar, not an abuser.
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Can we just call people assholes if they are ones. We dont need to go around saying we arent calling other people ones

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Kinda playing devil's advocate here but also genuinely curious. If this guy was extremely honest and upfront with his intentions, how much better (or "less bad") would he really look to you when he inevitably gets criticized anyway.

"I poured my heart out in a DM and he said 'hey thanks but I'm only interested in a bj'."

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CaptainOfCrush posted...

Kinda playing devil's advocate here but also genuinely curious. If this guy was extremely honest and upfront with his intentions, how much better (or "less bad") would he really look to you when he inevitably gets criticized anyway.

"I poured my heart out in a DM and he said 'hey thanks but I'm only interested in a bj'."

If youre asking if there is s clear, significant difference between these scenarios, the answer is yes.

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StifledSilence posted...

Again, they all had the ability to just say no to the internet weirdo. He didnt hypnotize them. I cant agree with saying they were helpless because hes their idol. Its abusive if he forces them into it. Dan sucks for lying, but that makes him a liar, not an abuser.

Okay so I'm assuming the best intentions of you here dude.

But you don't really understand emotional abuse and manipulation if you don't see it here. I'm sorry, but you just don't.

CaptainOfCrush posted...

Kinda playing devil's advocate here but also genuinely curious. If this guy was extremely honest and upfront with his intentions, how much better (or "less bad") would he really look to you when he inevitably gets criticized anyway.

"I poured my heart out in a DM and he said 'hey thanks but I'm only interested in a bj'."

That's fine, whatever, who cares.

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redrocket posted...

If youre asking if there is s clear, significant difference between these scenarios, the answer is yes.

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StifledSilence posted...

Again, they all had the ability to just say no to the internet weirdo. He didnt hypnotize them. I cant agree with saying they were helpless because hes their idol. Its abusive if he forces them into it. Dan sucks for lying, but that makes him a liar, not an abuser.

See, this is you literally trying to make it so that emotional abuse and manipulation just straight up can't exist. "If they chose to do it no matter how he coerced them, they're at fault since he didn't physically force them to" it just straight up negating any responsibility whatsoever for any emotional manipulation.

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How DARE someone use their sex appeal to have sex with people!

So by your definition of "Power Dynamic" would that also mean the hunkiest boy in the highschool football team?

Power Dynamic is not what you think it is. Being famous and popular doesn't give you power, only whatever power you allow it to have over you.

Being someone's employer, government representative, threatening violence or blackmailing them etc. THAT'S a Power Dynamic.

The fact that you're assuming the women Dan has sex with has no agency really says something not so great. They are adults. They can say no. There is 0 evidence he didn't take no for an answer.

Also we have no idea wtf happened that made him ghost her. Maybe she stole a chunk of his hair and stuffed it in her purse on the way out the door, we have no idea! And quite frankly, it's none of our god damn business either!

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wg64Z posted...

How DARE someone use their sex appeal to have sex with people!

So by your definition of "Power Dynamic" would that also mean the hunkiest boy in the highschool football team?

Power Dynamic is not what you think it is. Being famous and popular doesn't give you power, only whatever power you allow it to have over you.

Being someone's employer, government representative, threatening violence or blackmailing them etc. THAT'S a Power Dynamic.

The fact that you're assuming the women Dan has sex with has no agency really says something not so great. They are adults. They can say no. There is 0 evidence he didn't take no for an answer.

Also we have no idea wtf happened that made him ghost her. Maybe she stole a chunk of his hair and stuffed it in her purse on the way out the door, we have no idea! And quite frankly, it's none of our god damn business either!

jesus christ

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wg64Z posted...

How DARE someone use their sex appeal to have sex with people!

do you keep misrepresenting the issue for fun or something


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Lol this is not emotional abuse.

Douchey and manipulative? It'd be emotional abuse if he was purposely keeping them around and regularly manipulating them.

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BetrayedTangy posted...

Lol this is not emotional abuse.

Douchey and manipulative? It'd be emotional abuse if he was purposely keeping them around and regularly manipulating them.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G2y8Sx4B2Sk

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BetrayedTangy posted...

Lol this is not emotional abuse.

Douchey and manipulative? It'd be emotional abuse if he was purposely keeping them around and regularly manipulating them.

He talked to some of them for a range of a few months to a year about having a relationship with them.

And outside of that, yes. Manipulating and lying to someone SPECIFICALLY CONCERNING THEIR EMOTIONS is emotional abuse.

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Learning a lot about certain B8 users from this topic lmao

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KamikazePotato posted...

Learning a lot about certain B8 users from this topic lmao

honestly, are you really?

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Like if you don't know people who have gone through emotional abuse or have been though it yourself, maybe consider you shouldn't be talking with such confidence about what is or is not emotional abuse?

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KamikazePotato posted...

Learning a lot about certain B8 users from this topic lmao

kinda surprised this is the hill so many users want to die on tbqh. like i said, the game grumps aren't all that funny or clever, from what i've seen.

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PrivateBiscuit1 posted...

He talked to some of them for a range of a few months to a year about having a relationship with them.

And outside of that, yes. Manipulating and lying to someone SPECIFICALLY CONCERNING THEIR EMOTIONS is emotional abuse.

Lol you know how many men and women do this to each other on a regular basis? Not only has it happened to me several times, but I've seen it happen to several of my friends as well.

Not to mention I literally came out of an actual emotionally abusive relationship last year. I wish all she did was ghost me.

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Mr Lasastryke posted...

kinda surprised this is the hill so many users want to die on tbqh. like i said, the game grumps aren't all that funny or clever, from what i've seen.

Worth noting is that Arin and his wife are also total assholes as well.

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BetrayedTangy posted...

Lol you know how many men and women do this to each other on a regular basis? Not only has it happened to me several times, but I've seen it happen to several of my friends as well.

Not to mention I literally came out of an actual emotionally abusive relationship last year. I wish all she did was ghost me.

I'm sorry you went through an emotionally abusive relationship. I've been through one too.

Which makes it even more bizarre that you think someone lying to you for months to a year about their true intentions and then cutting off all communication after getting what he wants isn't emotionally abusive.

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BetrayedTangy posted...

Lol you know how many men and women do this to each other on a regular basis? Not only has it happened to me several times, but I've seen it happen to several of my friends as well.

"a lot of people do it so it's not emotional abuse"

galaxy brain argument

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The fact that some men greet the notion that "manipulating women for sex is wrong" with such sheer bewilderment is always profoundly depressing for me. I'm glad teaching consent became a big deal in recent years because, man, some people clearly need it.

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B8ers sure care about mental health until they don't.

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Most people are pieces of shit.

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CaptainOfCrush posted...
I feel like "scummy" is more appropriate than "piece of shit", which is a pretty strong condemnation that's being thrown around too liberally.

CaptainOfCrush posted...

Most people are pieces of shit.

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PrivateBiscuit1 posted...

I'm sorry you went through an emotionally abusive relationship. I've been through one too.

Which makes it even more bizarre that you think someone lying to you for months to a year about their true intentions and then cutting off all communication after getting what he wants isn't emotionally abusive.

I'm sorry to hear that you went through one as well.

And I could totally still be suffering from "My situation was this so this one can't be as bad" syndrome. But I've seen other cases of heavy emotional abuse that are also a lot worse than the ghosting. Like everyone I know that's been ghosted doesn't really care anymore, but the more egregious examples have carried it with them their whole life.

Mr Lasastryke posted...

"a lot of people do it so it's not emotional abuse"

galaxy brain argument

It's not just that 'a lot of people do it' it's literally the dating world right now. People are generally talking to several people at once, then they choose one and ghost the rest. It's really shitty and it seems like I'm defending it but I'm not. I guess my main point is it's only blowing up because he's a 'celebrity'.

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This is not a point of defense for the situation, but doesn't abuse imply sustained incidents? Isn't that the difference between abuse and assault?
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MrSmartGuy posted...

https://ayearofdan.tumblr.com/post/622934483002425344/ayearofdan-here-is-a-story-a-raw-real-story-a

Geez that was some write up. This girl seems kinda crazy to me tbh. Like she complains about Dan having sex with her but then says she's polly and wants to fuck everybody?

I'll read the bigger combined post a little later to get a better handle on things, but man all this really sucks. I fucking love Dan and it really hurts to hear about all of this stuff.

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BetrayedTangy posted...

People are generally talking to several people at once, then they choose one and ghost the rest. It's really shitty and it seems like I'm defending it but I'm not.

I mean, what do you think it is we are talking about here? Were talking about ghosting someone after manipulating them into having sex. Thats a lot different than ghosting someone you were just talking to.

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Waluigi1 posted...

Geez that was some write up. This girl seems kinda crazy to me tbh. Like she complains about Dan having sex with her but then says she's polly and wants to fuck everybody?

"But I thought we could be friends. Friends at least. Because Im a polyamorous person too. I want a wife and a boyfriend and a girlfriend and then a few lovely one night stands with fabulous people with beautiful stories to tell that I can watch unfold. I want lovers of all kinds."

This is probably my favorite topic of the year.

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