Current Events > What's up with age gap shaming in "progressive" groups

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epik_fail1
02/23/21 11:04:16 PM
#1:


Some of them are actively trying to shame consensual adults for dating each other and start harassing random people on Twitter. I have seen someone harassing a 31 years old guy on Twitter for dating a 24 years old.

How the hell those people think they are helping the planet? I could understand calling out 50 years old who exclusively try to date 18 years old. But they harass even moderate age gaps and try to marginalize those people?

At first I thought they were alt right puritans, but they claim it's progressive? Wtf?
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pure_temper
02/23/21 11:04:50 PM
#2:


i spend time on leftist twitter and have literally never seen anything like this wrt consensual relationships

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epik_fail1
02/23/21 11:08:08 PM
#3:


pure_temper posted...
i spend time on leftist twitter and have literally never seen anything like this wrt consensual relationships

https://mobile.twitter.com/_jorts_/status/1262157571038892033?lang=en
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pure_temper
02/23/21 11:21:23 PM
#4:


that tweet is fucking stupid and the fact that so many people liked it is insane

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epik_fail1
02/23/21 11:25:50 PM
#5:


pure_temper posted...
that tweet is fucking stupid and the fact that so many people liked it is insane


True, but there's people who compared relationship like 22 dating a 29 years old to pedophilia in these groups and claim it's wrong because "tHe bRAiN iS nOt fUlLy dEveLopEd yEt unTil 25"(I've read the studies that claims it usually stop at 21 for women and 25 for men. These takes are stupid and the worst part is that they brag about their intense knowledge of science after that.
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pure_temper
02/23/21 11:27:46 PM
#7:


epik_fail1 posted...
True, but there's people who compared relationship like 22 dating a 29 years old to pedophilia in these groups and claim it's wrong because "tHe bRAiN iS nOt fUlLy dEveLopEd yEt unTil 25"(I've read the studies that claims it usually stop at 21 for women and 25 for men. These takes are stupid and the worst part is that they brag about their intense knowledge of science after that.

i mean yeah that's true technically, but by the time you're 21 you are more than able to consent to relationships with someone who is 26 -_-

or even 40. whatever you want or floats your boat.

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Esrac
02/23/21 11:32:48 PM
#8:


pure_temper posted...
i mean yeah that's true technically, but by the time you're 21 you are more than able to consent to relationships with someone who is 26 -_-

or even 40. whatever you want or floats your boat.

Sure, but then its "something something POWER DYNAMICS". Which seems to be a stupid catch-all for attacking someone who is hooking up with someone less wealthy, less famous, or younger than themselves.
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pure_temper
02/23/21 11:34:40 PM
#9:


Esrac posted...
Sure, but then its "something something POWER DYNAMICS". Which seems to be a stupid catch-all for attacking someone who is hooking up with someone less wealthy, less famous, or younger than themselves.

i've dated many people and the best experiences have always been with older people. i once dated someone who was 5 years older than me and I just started getting to know someone who is 10 years older than me.

this is just ridiculous tbh

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epik_fail1
02/23/21 11:34:45 PM
#10:


Esrac posted...


Sure, but then its "something something POWER DYNAMICS". Which seems to be a stupid catch-all for attacking someone who is hooking up with someone less wealthy, less famous, or younger than themselves.


The thing is if they were attacking legitimate creeps who celebrate the moment a girl turn 18 I would not mind, but they harass random people that they don't even know and think they've accomplished something so hardcore.

The worst part is that they use the same talking points homophobes used in the past to marginalize the lgbt communities.

Also I cannot take anybody who uses "pOwEr dYnAmIc" anymore. Someone lectured a 21 years old about his power dynamic with his 19 years old girlfriend. They almost like bots saying the same crap over and over. But I suppose if you dedicate your life into being a generic Twitter mobster... you may not be good at thinking rationally.
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Geno4LoveGeno4L
02/23/21 11:39:34 PM
#11:


I think the age of consent should be 25 years old and people between 18-25 could be able to date in that range, but we should not harass someone for what is currently legal ^_^

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pure_temper
02/23/21 11:41:44 PM
#12:


Geno4LoveGeno4L posted...
I think the age of consent should be 25 years old and people between 18-25 could be able to date in that range, but we should not harass someone for what is currently legal ^_^

i mean usually it seems like it's just weird white knight incel types who want this type of thing, so i'd abandon the idea. they're jealous they can't get any action with the college hotties, so they want to make it illegal for anyone else who gets the action lol

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DarkProto05
02/23/21 11:46:19 PM
#13:


Im 29 and slept with a few 20-22 years olds. Sue me fucking losers lol.

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Graycap
02/23/21 11:46:51 PM
#14:


They jelly.
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pure_temper
02/23/21 11:50:35 PM
#15:


DarkProto05 posted...
Im 29 and slept with a few 20-22 years olds. Sue me fucking losers lol.

yeah lol, high probability that tweet is fueled by small dick energy

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MrMallard
02/24/21 12:10:31 AM
#16:


I think it's safe to say that whoever runs that Twitter account you linked to in post 3 is either bonkers or trolling. Given how scattered their entire feed is, I'm inclined to think that they're trolling.

I haven't seen the 31 year old dating a 24 year old situation. It would depend on when they met tbh, like if they met at their current ages then whatever, but if they met when she was 19 and he was 26 that'd be worse. The further back it goes like that, the worst the gap would get.

Given that we have a user who confessed to meeting his wife online when she was 14 and he was 19, who only got slapped with a warning for saying that 12 year olds can "technically" consent to sexual relationships with older people, I don't think it's ridiculous to call age gaps into question when the person advocating for them is shady as fuck. Saying that, there are some extended age gaps that are reasonable, given that both parties are comfortable and reasonably informed about the whole situation. And not knowing about this situation you mentioned in the OP, I can't judge the character of whoever's making the post and I don't know any further context behind the backlash. But yeah, it might be a little overzealous. I couldn't tell you.

As to why progressive spaces like to crack down on age gap relationships - I think it's because power dynamics in relationships are a part of the discourse. The older you are, and the more life experience you subsequently have, the more power you can wield over someone who isn't as informed as you. Someone who's 26 has 8 years of adult life experience over a 19 year old who has 1 year of life experience - I think that's a tangible difference that's worth a mention. But a 31 year old has 13 years of life experience, while a 24 year old has 6 years. That time spent in the real world is substantial, and it can help the younger party make more informed decisions because they've had time to develop life experience.

Maybe the older person is more withdrawn and sheltered, and maybe the younger person is more outgoing. It's all rule of thumb, and it's all relative. But that generalisation is there because on average, people who have lived for less time and who've spent less time in the adult world have less life experience than someone who's older than them - and that difference in life experience is one form of power imbalance in a relationship.

A 6 year age gap between a 24 year old and a 31 year old might be a bit suss to some people. It depends on the people in that relationship, and I think it's more appropriate to leave that one up in the air given that the older person isn't coming across as a fucking creep. But the reason why progressives might be more hung up on age gaps is because of that age gap contributing to an imbalance of power within that relationship. It's not the only way that a relationship might be imbalanced, but it's a form that can stunt someone else's personal growth and hurt them for the desires of the party with more power in the relationship. It's worth keeping an eye out for.

There's no definitive way to make a judgement call on a relationship, but a significant difference in age can indicate that something's wrong. Again - given that we have a user who A) groomed a 14 year old girl on the internet when he was 19 and B) said that he thought that 12 year olds can "technically" consent to a sexual relationship with an older party, I think it's important that we approach the topic with more depth than "crazy liberals shouting down a couple of adults over a consensual relationship". People do go off the deep end from time to time when they don't treat a situation with nuance - purity police-types tend to reach beyond the point of good taste. But the subject is a part of leftist discourse for a reason, and I think the basic rule-of-thumb logic behind it is a reasonable call.

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eggcorn
02/24/21 12:11:34 AM
#17:


Usually older women pissed that men their age arent interested and younger men mad because women their age arent interested in them.

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Lordgold666
02/24/21 12:49:10 AM
#18:


Pedo twitter lol

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pfh1001
02/24/21 2:26:41 AM
#19:


Graycap posted...
They jelly.


eggcorn posted...
Usually older women pissed that men their age arent interested and younger men mad because women their age arent interested in them.


Those two.
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EnvoyOfTheLight
02/24/21 2:30:10 AM
#20:


There's a subset of people, and you can find them on this very board, that have a need to take mild shit and and project fucking Satanic Heresy out of it, not because of harm done, but because they find it distasteful.

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mft1
02/24/21 2:30:37 AM
#21:


What's up with...shaming in "progressive" groups

Question answers itself.
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JTilly
02/24/21 2:31:04 AM
#22:


Most people in the world today are incredibly stupid. Especially the self righteous ones that believe theyre morals are on the right side of everything.

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Sackgurl
02/24/21 2:57:39 AM
#23:


so some dumb people screamed into the ether and some other dumb people said "i agree"

who cares

we all agree they're dumb

but they're powerless and their dumb viewpoint isn't hurting anyone on a large scale

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TheMikh
02/24/21 3:03:23 AM
#24:


the people doing the shaming are mad that they have competition

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#25
Post #25 was unavailable or deleted.
#26
Post #26 was unavailable or deleted.
OpenlyGator
02/24/21 3:48:23 AM
#27:


If the younger party is over 21, jelly prudes need to just shut the fuck up and buy more cat litter QUIETLY. The age of 21 is typically old enough to make decent adult judgement calls. At that point, they can consensually date partners who are even seniors if they want to. They're not helpless.

It's ironically patronizing and infantilizing to treat them like children incapable of making their own decisions.

And it's actually HARD RIGHT conservative to do so, just saying...

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Firewerx
02/24/21 3:53:48 AM
#28:


Geno4LoveGeno4L posted...
I think the age of consent should be 25 years old
If you're not capable of making informed, rational decisions for yourself until you're 25, then you shouldn't be voting until you're 25.

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NonDairyMiltank
02/24/21 4:03:07 AM
#29:


o brother some of the biggest whiners about 18-25 year olds dating older are huge hypocrites
as soon as they were legal a bunch of them ran around the block bangin older partners who already had cars and money
now they wanna turn around and tell everybody "do as i say, not as i do"

fuck that, you live once
do it safe, but do wtf you want

im not a fan of 18 year olds running for sugar daddies/mommas as soon they can, but when someones over 20 its def time to retire the kiddy gloves
still treating them like kids after 20 is whats fuckin weird...

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Gwynevere
02/24/21 4:38:42 AM
#30:


I wouldn't really call shaming like that a progressive trait. Then again I often dont get along with other progressives/leftists so what do I know

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JTilly
02/24/21 5:01:54 AM
#31:


Geno4LoveGeno4L posted...
I think the age of consent should be 25 years old and people between 18-25 could be able to date in that range, but we should not harass someone for what is currently legal ^_^
ofc a geno fanboy would say this

screw that we need more 80 year olds with 20 year olds. This is the way

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epik_fail1
02/24/21 8:41:12 AM
#32:


MrMallard posted...
I think it's safe to say that whoever runs that Twitter account you linked to in post 3 is either bonkers or trolling. Given how scattered their entire feed is, I'm inclined to think that they're trolling.

I haven't seen the 31 year old dating a 24 year old situation. It would depend on when they met tbh, like if they met at their current ages then whatever, but if they met when she was 19 and he was 26 that'd be worse. The further back it goes like that, the worst the gap would get.

Given that we have a user who confessed to meeting his wife online when she was 14 and he was 19, who only got slapped with a warning for saying that 12 year olds can "technically" consent to sexual relationships with older people, I don't think it's ridiculous to call age gaps into question when the person advocating for them is shady as fuck. Saying that, there are some extended age gaps that are reasonable, given that both parties are comfortable and reasonably informed about the whole situation. And not knowing about this situation you mentioned in the OP, I can't judge the character of whoever's making the post and I don't know any further context behind the backlash. But yeah, it might be a little overzealous. I couldn't tell you.

As to why progressive spaces like to crack down on age gap relationships - I think it's because power dynamics in relationships are a part of the discourse. The older you are, and the more life experience you subsequently have, the more power you can wield over someone who isn't as informed as you. Someone who's 26 has 8 years of adult life experience over a 19 year old who has 1 year of life experience - I think that's a tangible difference that's worth a mention. But a 31 year old has 13 years of life experience, while a 24 year old has 6 years. That time spent in the real world is substantial, and it can help the younger party make more informed decisions because they've had time to develop life experience.

Maybe the older person is more withdrawn and sheltered, and maybe the younger person is more outgoing. It's all rule of thumb, and it's all relative. But that generalisation is there because on average, people who have lived for less time and who've spent less time in the adult world have less life experience than someone who's older than them - and that difference in life experience is one form of power imbalance in a relationship.

A 6 year age gap between a 24 year old and a 31 year old might be a bit suss to some people. It depends on the people in that relationship, and I think it's more appropriate to leave that one up in the air given that the older person isn't coming across as a fucking creep. But the reason why progressives might be more hung up on age gaps is because of that age gap contributing to an imbalance of power within that relationship. It's not the only way that a relationship might be imbalanced, but it's a form that can stunt someone else's personal growth and hurt them for the desires of the party with more power in the relationship. It's worth keeping an eye out for.

There's no definitive way to make a judgement call on a relationship, but a significant difference in age can indicate that something's wrong. Again - given that we have a user who A) groomed a 14 year old girl on the internet when he was 19 and B) said that he thought that 12 year olds can "technically" consent to a sexual relationship with an older party, I think it's important that we approach the topic with more depth than "crazy liberals shouting down a couple of adults over a consensual relationship". People do go off the deep end from time to time when they don't treat a situation with nuance - purity police-types tend to reach beyond the point of good taste. But the subject is a part of leftist discourse for a reason, and I think the basic rule-of-thumb logic behind it is a reasonable call.


Dude. You are comparing something that is a crime(for obvious reasons) to consensual relationships between adults. There is nothing "sus" about people in their 20s dating someone in their 30s. You kinda did what I mentioned. The problem in the 12 years old situation is that the 12 years old is literally a kid. 19 and 12 is horrible, but the problem is not the age gap, it's the kid part.
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Choco
02/24/21 9:00:31 AM
#33:


don't date someone who wasn't born on the same day as you

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MutantJohn
02/24/21 9:02:17 AM
#34:


31 and 24 is fine but 7 years is kind of a big gap, ngl
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epik_fail1
02/24/21 9:02:42 AM
#35:


Choco posted...
don't date someone who wasn't born on the same day as you


It scares me that if I was on Twitter, I would not expect this to be sarcastic
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Balrog0
02/24/21 9:12:32 AM
#36:


Why would the alt right care about an age gap?

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Thighon
02/24/21 9:14:18 AM
#37:


It can seem predatory in certain contexts. I would think someone 30+ seeking out kids in the 18-20 range has something goin on underneath there
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FarFromFields
02/24/21 9:15:42 AM
#38:


TC how did you attribute this to "progressives"?

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epik_fail1
02/24/21 9:18:59 AM
#39:


FarFromFields posted...
TC how did you attribute this to "progressives"?


They self proclaim to be.
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epik_fail1
02/24/21 9:22:33 AM
#40:


Thighon posted...
It can seem predatory in certain contexts. I would think someone 30+ seeking out kids in the 18-20 range has something goin on underneath there


If someone is 30 and meet someone who's 20. They are not necessarily actively seeking someone that age. I am 9 years older than my partner and most of my ex have been close to my age.
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uwnim
02/24/21 9:33:04 AM
#41:


epik_fail1 posted...
If someone is 30 and meet someone who's 20. They are not necessarily actively seeking someone that age. I am 9 years older than my partner and most of my ex have been close to my age.
Yeah. Like you get things where like one random factory grunt ends up dating some younger factory grunt just cause their bosses put them working near each other.

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Gwynevere
02/24/21 12:41:56 PM
#42:


epik_fail1 posted...
They self proclaim to be.
Who is they? Like who in particular?

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Esrac
02/24/21 12:42:52 PM
#43:


MrMallard posted...
I think it's safe to say that whoever runs that Twitter account you linked to in post 3 is either bonkers or trolling. Given how scattered their entire feed is, I'm inclined to think that they're trolling.

I haven't seen the 31 year old dating a 24 year old situation. It would depend on when they met tbh, like if they met at their current ages then whatever, but if they met when she was 19 and he was 26 that'd be worse. The further back it goes like that, the worst the gap would get.

Given that we have a user who confessed to meeting his wife online when she was 14 and he was 19, who only got slapped with a warning for saying that 12 year olds can "technically" consent to sexual relationships with older people, I don't think it's ridiculous to call age gaps into question when the person advocating for them is shady as fuck. Saying that, there are some extended age gaps that are reasonable, given that both parties are comfortable and reasonably informed about the whole situation. And not knowing about this situation you mentioned in the OP, I can't judge the character of whoever's making the post and I don't know any further context behind the backlash. But yeah, it might be a little overzealous. I couldn't tell you.

As to why progressive spaces like to crack down on age gap relationships - I think it's because power dynamics in relationships are a part of the discourse. The older you are, and the more life experience you subsequently have, the more power you can wield over someone who isn't as informed as you. Someone who's 26 has 8 years of adult life experience over a 19 year old who has 1 year of life experience - I think that's a tangible difference that's worth a mention. But a 31 year old has 13 years of life experience, while a 24 year old has 6 years. That time spent in the real world is substantial, and it can help the younger party make more informed decisions because they've had time to develop life experience.

Maybe the older person is more withdrawn and sheltered, and maybe the younger person is more outgoing. It's all rule of thumb, and it's all relative. But that generalisation is there because on average, people who have lived for less time and who've spent less time in the adult world have less life experience than someone who's older than them - and that difference in life experience is one form of power imbalance in a relationship.

A 6 year age gap between a 24 year old and a 31 year old might be a bit suss to some people. It depends on the people in that relationship, and I think it's more appropriate to leave that one up in the air given that the older person isn't coming across as a fucking creep. But the reason why progressives might be more hung up on age gaps is because of that age gap contributing to an imbalance of power within that relationship. It's not the only way that a relationship might be imbalanced, but it's a form that can stunt someone else's personal growth and hurt them for the desires of the party with more power in the relationship. It's worth keeping an eye out for.

There's no definitive way to make a judgement call on a relationship, but a significant difference in age can indicate that something's wrong. Again - given that we have a user who A) groomed a 14 year old girl on the internet when he was 19 and B) said that he thought that 12 year olds can "technically" consent to a sexual relationship with an older party, I think it's important that we approach the topic with more depth than "crazy liberals shouting down a couple of adults over a consensual relationship". People do go off the deep end from time to time when they don't treat a situation with nuance - purity police-types tend to reach beyond the point of good taste. But the subject is a part of leftist discourse for a reason, and I think the basic rule-of-thumb logic behind it is a reasonable call.

Like I said, "something something power dynamics".
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CalosiaTana
02/24/21 12:54:11 PM
#44:


Twitter is nothing but mind cancer that needs to be purged from existence.
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Broseph_Stalin
02/24/21 12:56:09 PM
#45:


epik_fail1 posted...
At first I thought they were alt right puritans, but they claim it's progressive? Wtf?

TC has discovered the horseshoe theory.
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gamer167
02/24/21 1:06:53 PM
#46:


If youre 30 you shouldnt date someone 18 or 19 for your own damn sake.

Once were talking 21+ though people gotta chill with that arbitrary too young stuff. If someones too dumb at 23 to know if they want to date/sleep with someone older then they should just give up in general.
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epik_fail1
02/24/21 1:42:02 PM
#47:


Gwynevere posted...

Who is they? Like who in particular?


There's litterally one in the chat that compared defending rape of a 12 years old to consensual adults dating

https://youtu.be/4DqCiGsUJbs
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epik_fail1
02/24/21 1:43:46 PM
#48:


Broseph_Stalin posted...


TC has discovered the horseshoe theory.


Considering that I was called a sjw for defending representation of minorities in games and called conservative for saying that not including gay character did not mean a dev is homophobic. I think I believe more and more in that theory.
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Geno4LoveGeno4L
02/25/21 9:35:32 AM
#49:


gamer167 posted...
If youre 30 you shouldnt date someone 18 or 19 for your own damn sake.

Once were talking 21+ though people gotta chill with that arbitrary too young stuff. If someones too dumb at 23 to know if they want to date/sleep with someone older then they should just give up in general.

The problem is that there is a massive power imbalance between a 24 and a 31 years old

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OpenlyGator
02/26/21 6:31:42 AM
#50:


Geno4LoveGeno4L posted...
The problem is that there is a massive power imbalance between a 24 and a 31 years old
Stop treating adults like children...

It's very puritanical and shortsighted, which tend to be closely connected.

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Choco
02/26/21 9:04:32 AM
#51:


Geno4LoveGeno4L is a very dedicated shitposter and you really shouldn't respond to them seriously

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