Current Events > Is marriage still worth it?

(+) Yeah! (+)

I mean, of course it's not, but what if you find "the one"?

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By what metric are you asking?

If all you think about is sex then no.

If you want a family and going camping with the spouse and kids and such, yes.

The only thing I've heard that makes marriage "worth it" is the tax breaks

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I think only religious people should get married

i mean it is a religious institution.

Next year will be our ten year anniversary. I can tell you it is certainly worth it.

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Nah, its better to die alone


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Zanzenburger posted...

Next year will be our ten year anniversary. I can tell you it is certainly worth it.

Wow! Congratulations! I hope to get there one day...My older brother broke up with his wife (3 years marriage) recently so I'm kinda unsure it's still a good choice getting married nowadays...but man, my girlfriend gives me hope!

coh posted...

I think only religious people should get married

i mean it is a religious institution.

That's a good point, I'm not religious...

R1masher posted...

Nah, its better to die alone

Married or not, we all will!

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PatrickMahomes posted...

The only thing I've heard that makes marriage "worth it" is the tax breaks

Ive owed every year since I got married, the real tax credits come when you have kids

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Raulgage posted...

Married or not, we all will!

maybe... but I meant why burden someone with getting rid of your corpse or being financially responsible for it

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Youll save on taxes (particularly if you have different salaries).

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Raulgage posted...

That's a good point, I'm not religious...

it literally isn't a good point considering it's also a governmental institution

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Yes, but only if you do it right by going to counseling, combining finances, etc.

Raulgage posted...

Wow! Congratulations! I hope to get there one day...My older brother broke up with his wife (3 years marriage) recently so I'm kinda unsure it's still a good choice getting married nowadays...but man, my girlfriend gives me hope!

What are you expecting out of marriage?

Im very happy in mine but its not for everyone.

it's a nice way to commit to each other and have a badass party in front of friends and family. It's possible to not get married and just cohabitate while having kids and otherwise sharing your life together, without the certificate, and then do misc bullshit like a will that gives automatic power of attorney to your longterm partner and not next of kin.

For insurance it'll probably suck; self+partner plans tend to be cheaper for the same coverage that dual self plans, and if one of you has a nice corporate hookup for insurance, you can now both leverage it

The argument against getting married is things going south and then getting screwed via alimony, but if you both approach the relationship in earnest in the first place, the odds of that being an issue are very low. And if you're not both approaching the relationship in earnest, then marriage is a terrible choice. QED.
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darkphoenix181 posted...

What are you expecting out of marriage?

The basics, you know, not being alone, sharing my dreams and helping each other

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I know I'm going to sound like a piece of shit. I personally don't think marriage is worth it. If two people are in love, why does some ceremony really matter? Marriage seems like just ownership to me. if two people who are in love break up, what happens? If you are not married, it's a lot of headache gone. If you are married divorce is gonna be hell. Why does the title matter?
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if you dont wanna get married dont.

marriage will not fix your relationship.

only love can, and that love demands work. you need to WORK.

im 30x the man i am today because of my fiancee. and shes 30x the woman. we WORK at ourselves and our relationship. that work is fucking HARD. so many tears, so many fights and arguments, so many emotions. but it makes us STRONGER.

thats how i know i want to marry her. we worked so hard at ourselves that i want us to keep working FOREVER.

if you can't say that, or are not willing to, dont do it. watch 90 Day Fiance to see what happens when people who shouldn't get married get married.

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Dont risk marriage in a non patriarchal country, and if your in the USA, UK, Canada, France, or any country where feminist values are strong avoid marriage like the plague since many men get divorce screwed.

Pre nups are like toilet paper, do not think they will do anything to help you as judges make it a sport to see how many they can throw out.

You can still have a family but do not do it in a western country unless you enjoy rolling the dice which are NOT in your favor.

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Chunkey Simmons posted...

Why does the title matter?

Home loan applications (generally higher and more favorable credit than any individual), insurance access, automatic power of attorney in case of sudden death, shared custody if y'all ever have kids (husband and father gets more perks than just father, legally), the ability to file together for income taxes (generally the favorable option), notably. There's a lot of legal and financial stuff associated with marriage, which is why stuff like Loving v Virginia or Obergefell v. Hodges are SCOTUS rulings in the first place.

There's also... social conformity, I guess is the term? Imagine being in a long term relationship and not getting married and then needing to explain why at least one of you doesn't want to be bogged down by the commitment that a marriage entails. Like "oh, my long term boyfriend thinks I'll cheat on him someday" or "my long term boyfriend is reluctant to commit with me or anyone else" or similar. It just doesn't look good.
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my wife is pretty cool
she makes me eggs and buys me steaks to cook and still blows me and watches shit she doesn't even have an interest in like the boys because i like it and she takes care of our kids pretty good and she's pretty milfy and is cool with me going to play golf with the boys pretty much whenever and doesn't really care about how much video games i play or what stupid shit i buy with my money
she hasn't had a job in like a decade, but that's a totally acceptable tradeoff

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Chunkey Simmons posted...

I know I'm going to sound like a piece of shit. I personally don't think marriage is worth it. If two people are in love, why does some ceremony really matter? Marriage seems like just ownership to me. if two people who are in love break up, what happens? If you are not married, it's a lot of headache gone. If you are married divorce is gonna be hell. Why does the title matter?

In theory, your argument makes sense. If two people are happy and want to live together, why is the title important?

In practice, however, we are a ritual-heavy species. Rituals and ceremonies are foundational to our culture. Think baby showers, graduation ceremonies, singing the national anthem before games, bachelor/ette parties, quinceaneras/sweet sixteens, celebrating your 21st birthday, etc.

Think of it as getting a four year degree in graphic design vs learning graphic design on your own. If you like graphic design and are learning it very well through online tutorials and practice, why go to college for it and pay money for a fancy title? Socially, people do it as a coming-of-age journey, complete with the "college experience" and the graduation ceremony at the end, which you wouldn't get if you self-taught. Practically, it makes you more employable. Employers will prefer someone with a graphic design degree than someone without one. Are there people without the degree doing great graphic design work and being happy? Sure, but that's not the norm.

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If one of you falls very ill it is very much worth it. Otherwise you can be sidelined by your SOs parents.

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there are a lot of bureaucratic reasons for getting married on paper - mortgages, hospital visitation, insurance, estate planning, etc. If you are going to be with someone the rest of your life, it just makes sense to formalize and record the relationship.

Though if the question is "is being in a committed monogamous relationship for the rest of your life worth it?" then that is not something anyone can really tell you. Ive been with my wife almost 11 years and it is still amazing... but i have plenty of happy single friends too.
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Marriage sucks. First marriage was a failure. I said i wouldn't get married again. After 13 years of being together with my current man we still are not married and doing great.

In marriages defense though it works for some people but apparently not me.

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