Current Events > How far off are you from where you imagined yourself as a child?

(+) Yeah! (+)

I feel like for most people, it's probably not even remotely close, and it's really no different in my own case, but I'm still pretty happy despite all of that. I know which of my dreams I value most, and if I feel like I'm making progress somewhere in my life, I don't feel this constant pressure to live up to this idealized portrait I have for myself; It's about taking small steps each day.

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I had zero direction as a kid, with no clear ambitions as to what I wanted to do when I was older. My parents werent very supportive of my future, and even laughed at my major.

Have been teaching 6 years, and am about to abandon the profession and try something new because it didnt make me happy.

I think the idea of creating this perfect image of your future when youre younger is dangerous, because it only leads to disappointment. Having goals and dreams is ok, but being able to let go of those dreams to venture out to something new is a good thing.

I dunno. Thats just me.

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I agree with pretty much all of that. The problem with making up these fixed visions for yourself as a kid is that you really DON'T know what you want or need out of your life at that point; you're still learning the rules of the game. You might have these hazy concepts of who you are as a person, but it really doesn't come into focus until you gather some life experience.

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Pus_N_Pecans posted...

I agree with pretty much all of that. The problem with making up these fixed visions for yourself as a kid is that you really DON'T know what you want or need out of your life at that point; you're still learning the rules of the game. You might have these hazy concepts of who you are, but it really doesn't come into focus until you gather some life experience.

Ive had this realization lately that sticking to one career path your whole life is an old, antiquated view of how someone should live their life.

Life is all about gaining experience, in my opinion. Seeing the world, getting to view it from different perspectives. When you lock yourself into doing one thing for the rest of your life, youre never going to see the world from different angles.

Its a scary thought. But spending 4 years of life in college as a kid trying to decide what youll do till you retire is crazy to me. Then when you lose your job, you get depressed and feel like you wasted your whole life.

I wish kids would be taught that its ok to change careers, and to not know what you wanna do when youre older.

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Pretty damn far

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ZeroX91 posted...

Pretty damn far

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I'm way far off. But I'm not all that upset considering a lot of my "dreams" were kinda ignorant of reality.

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MFBKBass5 posted...

Ive had this realization lately that sticking to one career path your whole life is an old, antiquated view of how someone should live their life.

Life is all about gaining experience, in my opinion. Seeing the world, getting to view it from different perspectives. When you lock yourself into doing one thing for the rest of your life, youre never going to see the world from different angles.

Its a scary thought. But spending 4 years of life in college as a kid trying to decide what youll do till you retire is crazy to me. Then when you lose your job, you get depressed and feel like you wasted your whole life.

I wish kids would be taught that its ok to change careers, and to not know what you wanna do when youre older.

Yep. It's really tough to pivot away from something comfortable, but if you know that something feels off, or if it's just not working for you, it's something you need to do. (It's just a good idea to work out a plan before going through with it)

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I didn't grow up thinking "I want to be an accountant when I grow up!"

I'm an accountant.

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I never thought about my future as a kid, or even as a teenager.

I thought Id be successful and have money.

Pretty on the mark.

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About 90 miles

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Villain posted...

I didn't grow up thinking "I want to be an accountant when I grow up!"

I'm an accountant.

What'd you want to be?

coh posted...

I never thought about my future as a kid, or even as a teenager.

Really? Not even when you had to write essays about it in school?

R1masher posted...
About 90 miles

That's further than some people make it from their home town!

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I'm alive, so pretty damn far off.

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Exactly where I thought I wanted, for better or worse.
Well, half anyways.
I wanted to be a game designer/tester cause I thought I could just sit around playing video games and eating macaroni & cheese all day.

I've gotten to sit around doing nothing a lot, between working from home in the past or part time jobs more recently.
It has its pros, but it has its cons too.


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Where CE thought they'd be: At 25, detached 4 car garage house by the lake, $300k/year salary with corner office, wife, kids, 3 dogs, athletic

Where CE really is: Sitting at home complaining about Trump and collecting covid unemployment money at 30+ years old

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Pseudomenon posted...

I'm alive, so pretty damn far off.

Oof. Not sure what your situation is/was, but that's a pretty big positive.

DoomSwell posted...

Exactly where I thought I wanted, for better or worse.
Well, half anyways.
I wanted to be a game designer/tester cause I thought I could just sit around playing video games and eating macaroni & cheese all day.

I've gotten to sit around doing nothing a lot, between working from home in the past or part time jobs more recently.
It has its pros, but it has its cons too.

What kinds of games do you work on/make?

[LFAQs-redacted-quote]

I'm sorry, that sounds awful. I hope you're able to take something to treat it at least.

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So far off. I thought things would change after high school, that I'd find a job I'd enjoy, make some friends, buy a house, get travel a little, find a gf, get married and have kids.

Instead, I stayed a loser, work a dead end job that I don't care for, have no money, no friends, live at home at an embarrassing age, can't manage to find a date... So all my biggest life goals are out the window and I have nothing to look forward to.

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Villain posted...

I didn't grow up thinking "I want to be an accountant when I grow up!"

I'm an accountant.

I was gonna be a famous horror writer/ director/fireman/f1 racer.

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I'll be 30 in just under a week, I didn't think I'd still be alive to reach 20 so that's pretty far off. I had absolutely no idea what I wanted to do or if I'd be able to do anything at all. My adult life has found me too unwell mentally and more recently physically to hold down a job, but I've got a happy home, a wonderful daughter and a loving partner. I've got a better life than I ever anticipated or hoped for even if by most people's standards I haven't achieved anything and people online don't ever hesitate in letting me know how they feel.

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[LFAQs-redacted-quote]

:( I'm sorry. Hopefully they're able to work something out for ya.

KogaSteelfang posted...

So far off. I thought things would change after high school, that I'd find a job I'd enjoy, make some friends, buy a house, get travel a little, find a gf, get married and have kids.

Instead, I stayed a loser, work a dead end job that I don't care for, have no money, no friends, live at home at an embarrassing age, can't manage to find a date... So all my biggest life goals are out the window and I have nothing to look forward to.

It's never too late to turn things around though. By most measures, I'm living in abject poverty, but I'm still proud of where I'm at. I think it's best to focus on one area if you're feeling too overwhelmed with everything else. If you're improving in some element, it tends to benefit other aspects of your life as well. (At least in my experience)

Dreamscissors posted...

I'll be 30 in just under a week, I didn't think I'd still be alive to reach 20 so that's pretty far off. I had absolutely no idea what I wanted to do or if I'd be able to do anything at all. My adult life has found me too unwell mentally and more recently physically to hold down a job, but I've got a happy home, a wonderful daughter and a loving partner. I've got a better life than I ever anticipated or hoped for even if by most people's standards I haven't achieved anything and people online don't ever hesitate in letting me know how they feel.

I think that measuring a person's "worth" based on financial or otherwise subjective merits isn't any way to determine success. If you're content with what you have or where you're at, and you're living a fulfilling life, that's all that really matters in the end. I do hope you're able to work through your struggles though!

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My arts- https://www.deviantart.com/bleakcreep

Pus_N_Pecans posted...

What'd you want to be?

I dunno, in HS I wanted to get into Radio TV Film and in college my first major was actually psychology but I was terrible with the neuroscience aspect.

Radio was my next biggest interest but you could already see it was dying in 2010.

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Villain posted...

I dunno, in HS I wanted to get into Radio TV Film and in college my first major was actually psychology but I was terrible with the neuroscience aspect.

Radio was my next biggest interest but you could already see it was dying in 2010.

That actually sounds really cool. There's always podcasts for this day and age though!

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Well, accounting is alright and it pays well

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I never imagined myself as an adult. Probably why Im so content being minimalist

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I could never even see a future for myself until this year.

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Still no pet dinosaur, nor can I fly.

When I was young I just wanted to be cool like Dante and Im pretty close so its all good.

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Pus_N_Pecans posted...

Oof. Not sure what your situation is/was, but that's a pretty big positive.

Poverty, abuse, neglect, and other things leading to depression and anxiety at an early age. I waffled between thinking I was going to die young from something I couldn't control and being absolutely certain I'd kill myself before long. I wouldn't say I have "good" mental health at this point but I'm way better these days and don't have those problems, so it's pretty weird and a bit unbelievable that I lived my life like that for so long smh.

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I just legitimately never thought about it to be honest. No dream jobs or anything like that. I understand now that apparently that's weird but I just wanted to play vidya and hab good tiems

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I assumed that I would be married to a hot chick, have a decent car, a nice house, a stable job, and a big bank account

Everything came true except for the bank account :(

Edit: also figured I'd have at least one kid right now but hasn't happened yet.

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Oh yeah I thought I'd be married and with kids by now. I'll be 35 in September.

I was engaged at one point so I seemed to be on track for it.

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I am not a Streetfighting President Astronaut, so pretty far off.

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Pus_N_Pecans posted...

I think that measuring a person's "worth" based on financial or otherwise subjective merits isn't any way to determine success. If you're content with what you have or where you're at, and you're living a fulfilling life, that's all that really matters in the end. I do hope you're able to work through your struggles though!

That's true. I guess I always wanted to make things creatively (I started recording music and writing lyrics as a young kid but got seriously interested in it from age 13) and I can do that now without lots of money and at my own pace where I can take long breaks if my health gets extra crappy.

Bit off topic but we've spoke about it before so thought I'd tell you I'm starting to feel more comfortable about who I am, got to talking with my fiancee about my feelings on gender and established that I don't identify with being a man or a woman and that's fine. They're going to help me with expressing myself, going to look for some less masculine clothes and help me with anything new I want to try. It's really been a weight off my mind.

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Mostly. I thought Id be an engineer but I ended up hating it. But I still have achieved most things I wanted for myself. Married to a good man, have a good job and income, moved to Southern California (that was always my dream as a kid), own a home. Only thing I didnt anticipate was not being able to have children naturally. But Ive been blessed otherwise.

DespondentDeity posted...

I could never even see a future for myself until this year.

How come? (If you're up for sharing, of course)

Pseudomenon posted...
Poverty, abuse, neglect, and other things leading to depression and anxiety at an early age. I waffled between thinking I was going to die young from something I couldn't control and being absolutely certain I'd kill myself before long. I wouldn't say I have "good" mental health at this point but I'm way better these days and don't have those problems, so it's pretty weird and a bit unbelievable that I lived my life like that for so long smh.

I'm sorry. I had depression for a number of years myself, but my homelife wasn't really all that bad. Living on your own now, I'd hope? Or at least, away from that situation?

[LFAQs-redacted-quote]

:(

Dreamscissors posted...

That's true. I guess I always wanted to make things creatively (I started recording music and writing lyrics as a young kid but got seriously interested in it from age 13) and I can do that now without lots of money and at my own pace where I can take long breaks if my health gets extra crappy.

Bit off topic but we've spoke about it before so thought I'd tell you I'm starting to feel more comfortable about who I am, got to talking with my fiancee about my feelings on gender and established that I don't identify with being a man or a woman and that's fine. They're going to help me with expressing myself, going to look for some less masculine clothes and help me with anything new I want to try. It's really been a weight off my mind.

Yay, I'm happy for you! I think that should help a lot to be honest. Wish you and your family the best.

Cleo_II posted...

Mostly. I thought Id be an engineer but I ended up hating it. But I still have achieved most things I wanted for myself. Married to a good man, have a good job and income, moved to Southern California (that was always my dream as a kid), own a home. Only thing I didnt anticipate was not being able to have children naturally. But Ive been blessed otherwise.

That sounds nice. I've always wanted to see the east coast at some point. My grandparents used to live in Washington, so I've been there and Oregon before, but never the ocean. I'm kinda in the same boat as far as kids go, but really just because I'm trans and I don't have the ability anymore. I'm hoping one day I'll have the chance to adopt, but it still feels pretty far out.

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My arts- https://www.deviantart.com/bleakcreep

Well, luckily, I wasn't a very imaginative child.

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I wish I ciukd go back in time and tell little-me that he's going to turn into a massively depressed, emotionally unstable failure.

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Heartomaton posted...

I wish I ciukd go back in time and tell little-me that he's going to turn into a massively depressed, emotionally unstable failure.

Giving up is the only failure.

Pus_N_Pecans posted...

How come?

I was struggling with severe depression and anxiety exacerbated by rampant drug use. There was a lot of stuff that led to that like childhood trauma due to abuse, neglect, and sexual assault. Along with abandonment by my biological mother and emotional trauma from failed relationships.

I was also constantly lonely even tho I've always had lots of friends, and I would retreat into binge eating patterns that led to morbid obesity and a complete absence of self respect and self love. An example of a typical binge might have been like 36 oil fried mozzarella sticks and 6 cans of coke, 6000 or 7000 calories. I see now that the binge eating was a prolonged suicide attempt in itself. I always believed that I would die from suicide since a very young age, I was terrified of being alive.

I felt utterly and incomprehensibly alone, I felt ashamed that I couldn't enjoy life, and ashamed that all the good will people had shown me was wasted on a person who couldn't feel gratitude for it. I was constantly angry at the world, blaming others for all the things I'd failed to become or create.

I couldn't see a way forward, only the pit into which I mired myself. The truth was, I became addicted to despair, and rejected hope because I constantly fled from difficult tasks.

A lot of people believe that hope is simply a state of being, but I have discovered for myself that it's a truly precious treasure that one must fight to obtain and protect. It won't ever just come to you, you have to take it for yourself and hold it close when the world is crashing down around you.

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I didn't imagine any future back then. Or perhaps, I couldn't. When I close my eyes now, I can see the future. I can see that it's not there. I have no future, if I remain on this path. Either that or it's because you can't see with your eyes closed.

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DespondentDeity posted...

Giving up is the only failure.

I was struggling with severe depression and anxiety exacerbated by rampant drug use. There was a lot of stuff that led to that like childhood trauma due to abuse, neglect, and sexual assault. Along with abandonment by my biological mother and emotional trauma from failed relationships.

I was also constantly lonely even tho I've always had lots of friends, and I would retreat into binge eating patterns that led to morbid obesity and a complete absence of self respect and self love. An example of a typical binge might have been like 36 oil fried mozzarella sticks and 6 cans of coke, 6000 or 7000 calories. I see now that the binge eating was a prolonged suicide attempt in itself. I always believed that I would die from suicide since a very young age, I was terrified of being alive.

I felt utterly and incomprehensibly alone, I felt ashamed that I couldn't enjoy life, and ashamed that all the good will people had shown me was wasted on a person who couldn't feel gratitude for it. I was constantly angry at the world, blaming others for all the things I'd failed to become or create.

I couldn't see a way forward, only the pit into which I mired myself. The truth was, I became addicted to despair, and rejected hope because I constantly fled from difficult tasks.

A lot of people believe that hope is simply a state of being, but I have discovered for myself that it's a truly precious treasure that one must fight to obtain and protect. It won't ever just come to you, you have to take it for yourself and hold it close when the world is crashing down around you.

That's some raw stuff; I'm glad you're doing better now. I do think that even a tiniest glimmer of hope can be enough to carry someone through the day to day. Even when you think you're at your lowest, there's always someone or something out there that can help you climb your way out.

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DespondentDeity posted...

I couldn't see a way forward, only the pit into which I mired myself. The truth was, I became addicted to despair, and rejected hope because I constantly fled from difficult tasks.

How did you manage to overcome that? If you have.

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Pretty close actually. That wasnt the case a year or two ago

i was a very smart kid, and people always told me I should be an engineer. I didnt do well in college (because i didnt like electrical engineering which I had chosen) and I spent eight years doing a field service/repair job making okay but not great money

last year though, I took the initiative and brushed up on my programming skills from school and now I have a well paying job as a software engineer. And I just got married to boot. Im living my best life rn tbh

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Really off track, as a kid I wanted to be a train conductor in the NYC subway. Instead I've been in the Army for 6yrs as an avionics technician and now I'm living in Germany.

Very, very far. But I also didn't know what would end up happening to me that would throw my life in a completely different direction that was beyond my control

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I was never one to have some idea of what Id be like when I got older anyway so...

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Wanted to be a marine biologist when I was a kid, wanted to go into vfx and animation as a teenager so I accomplished that.
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