Current Events > Drafting a speech for my sister's wedding this weekend

(+) Yeah! (+)

I don't get along with my sister that well. We were both bullied in school, though she maintains that she had the worst of it since she would stick up for me against higher grades and suffer the punishment herself.

I remember her mostly from her active attempts to get me in trouble. This was to the point of getting my mum to yell at me for downloading internet porn when I didn't know what porn was - I was 11 or 12 and she was a teenager at the time, and I legitimately had no idea what was going on except "naked ladies bad". When we played NES games at my nan's house, on this 120000-in-one bootleg plug and play, she would always use the main controller while I got this dinky little plug in that barely worked. I always played support.

It goes beyond that - when my nan got us "Arcade Party Pak" for the PS1, we bonded over Smash TV. But I would have to hold off waves while she go the prizes, and if she died, she would smash one of the handles of her PS2 remote into my knee or ankle. Some time in the first couple years of her going to high school, before I was old enough to go, she made this thick, heavy wooden spoon - it had no real practicality as a wooden spoon, it was more of a club in its size and weight. On multiple occasions, she hit me in the knees and ankles with it as well.

I was a psycho at times too - at one point I snapped a wooden ruler in half and ended up stabbing her in the palm with the sharpest end. This was a very brief period of time in my life, after Smash TV and the wooden spoon - in my mind, it was retaliation for mistreatment beforehand. I regret that point in my life, but my sister still has the scar from that incident on her palm. So you can understand that this was a volatile relationship.

My sister got in contact a week ago and asked if I could say a few words at her wedding. I've been putting it off, but after a few drinks (that were meant to knock me out for a few hours and wake me up before I had to leave for the wedding), I put together a draft for a wedding speech. I decided to go for some broader topics and to fit my sister's marriage within them - which may go over well, considering that my sister is a lesbian who's marrying a woman.

Here's the draft:

It's been a rough few months for a lot of Australians. We've seen fires, we've seen floods, and throughout these events we've had our own personal struggles to contend with. So an event that focuses on union, on bringing people together - it's an event that helps to heal.

We're here to celebrate the marriage of [names]. Their love story might be beyond my personal understanding - I mostly remember my sister from the time I spent living with her, not so much in regards to her moving out. I can count the amount of times I've seen [other person's name] and her family on two hands - not to disparage the family, simply to reflect on the limited experience I've had with them. But even with such a limited frame of reference, it's clear that these two women have found happiness together, and that's a bond that's worth celebrating.

It takes a lot of effort to co-exist with someone. Some people may disagree and insist that their union is effortless - and while I respect the candor of that sentiment, I don't think it's the case for a vast majority of people. Even just living with a partner for a few months - let alone years - is bound to present its own share of personal issues, from the benign to the actively discouraging. In my eyes, it takes a strong personal bond, coupled with hard work, for a marriage to come to fruition. That's what we see before us today - two people coming together after years of experience in each other's company, tying the knot to confirm the love and appreciation they've felt towards each other for years.

There are people who would oppose such a union for the sheer fact that it doesn't align with their worldview. But if two people - regardless of gender, social standing, creed, religion or any other social modifier - can share such a strong bond, and work to accommodate each other over such a long period of time? That's worth celebrating. Why oppose a union this strong, this long in the making? I don't think there is a rational reason.

We're all free to chase whatever happiness we desire. If we can carve out a peaceful, happy niche for ourselves, it doesn't matter what other people think. It's the work we put in, and the relationships that we cultivate over the course of our lives, that matter. And today, we've witnessed the evolution of such a bond between two people - taking the baseline of love, appreciation and respect to the highest level. We should all be so lucky as to find the happiness that [names] have found with each other, and their marriage today only goes to show that in times of extreme division and crisis, the seeds of love can still be sown.

It's still a draft, I'll be working on the phrasing when I'm not drunk. What do you think?

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TLDR but I hope you are saying " I've prepared a few lines, but unfortunately my sister snorted them all already".


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ALIEN_WORK2HOP posted...

TLDR but I hope you are saying " I've prepared a few lines, but unfortunately my sister snorted them all already".

That is fucking amazing

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Beautiful speech tbh

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MrMallard posted...

There are people who would oppose such a union for the sheer fact that it doesn't align with their worldview. But if two people - regardless of gender, social standing, creed, religion or any other social modifier - can share such a strong bond, and work to accommodate each other over such a long period of time? That's worth celebrating. Why oppose a union this strong, this long in the making? I don't think there is a rational reason.

i would take this paragraph out tbh, plus the second one where you're like "i can count the amount of times i met my sister's wife on two hands". plus id add in more stuff that is personal, it kind of seems like an essay on marriage and not a speech towards two people you have a relationship with. it's weird that in your background of your speech you list tons of great personal details and then in the speech it is very cold and robotic sounding. just my two cents

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you should mention one happy memory that you have of your sister

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You know they say all men are created equal, but you look at me and you look at Samoa Joe and you can see that statement is NOT TRUE! See, normally if you go one-on-one with another wrestler you got a fifty/fifty chance of winning. But I'm a genetic freak, and I'm not normal! So you got a 25 percent at best at beat me! And then you add Kurt Angle to the mix? You-the chances of winning drasticy go down. See, the 3-Way at Sacrifice, you got a 33 and a third chance of winning. But I! I got a 66 and two thirds chance of winning, cuz Kurt Angle KNOOOWS he can't beat me, and he's not even gonna try. So, Samoa Joe, you take your thirty three and a third chance minus my twenty five percent chance (if we was to go one on one) and you got an eight and a third chance of winning at Sacrifice. But then you take my 75 perchance-chance of winnin' (if we was to go one on one), and then add 66 and two thirdspercents, I got a 141 2/3 chance of winning at Sacrifice! Seor Joe? The numbers don't lie, and they spell disaster for you at Sacrifice!

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Romulox28 posted...

i would take this paragraph out tbh

Maybe it needs more workshopping, but I think it makes a solid, positive point of my sister's marriage in the face of bigotry against her sexuality. I also genuinely believe that people who would write off gay marriage, even in the face of a relationship that builds to marriage over a period of years, are being fucking stupid.

Would you recommend any changes to the language, or do you think the point as a whole should be nixed?

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YookaLaylee posted...

you should mention one happy memory that you have of your sister

This is a good point, but I really don't have that many. A lot of what comes to mind is her bullying me at home, when I was already being bullied at school. Shit was inescapable. Later in life she was diagnosed with borderline personality disorder, but that doesn't erase the harm that her worst behaviour did to me. I have a hard time thinking of good times.


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MrMallard posted...

Maybe it needs more workshopping, but I think it makes a solid, positive point of my sister's marriage in the face of bigotry against her sexuality. I also genuinely believe that people who would write off gay marriage, even in the face of a relationship that builds to marriage over a period of years, are being fucking stupid.

Would you recommend any changes to the language, or do you think the point as a whole should be nixed?

I guess what I don't get is why you feel the need to bring up the difficult social/"political" (for lack of a better word) components of your sister's/her partner's sexuality at all during the toast at their wedding.

mostly likely she & her partner have to deal with homophobia all the time, it is something that they will have to continue to deal with probably for the rest of their lives, so i don't really see a reason to bring this up and treat them with a sense of "otherness" at their own wedding. I am not gay, but I have attended a gay wedding and I thought it was nice that at that wedding, there wasnt really anything about any of the bullshit that surrounds their lives. it was just a bunch of people happy for them celebrating their love, which is how i think weddings should be imo - a little bubble independent of the outside world, where all it is is happy people celebrating the love & potential of a new married couple

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