Current Events > Scotland is a highly cultural place.

(+) Yeah! (+)

I was in a cultural center yesterday listening to some heritage music and watching the associated formal dance.

The cultural center was what's known as a "pub", which is where Scottish people spend literally all of their free time. The song was the much traditional "500 Miles" by the historical music group "Proclaimers". To dance to this music, one must bob up and down in no more than a quarter-squat motion, attempting to perform a single bob per beat of music. Your arms should make fists and perform hammer movements, or alternatively clap to an entirely different time signature of your own choosing. With all of this, one must liberally apply rubato.

Coupled with this complex series of movements, one must engage in impromptu group singing. While Africa has it's mbube choirs and America its Barbershop Quartets, a choir arrangement in Scotland is more free form. Indeed, there is no need to adhere to a harmony, melody or really any particular rhythm. A series of guttural "eeeeaaah, ooooaaah, hooroora your army! Havering to youooouu" is customary.

Following this, it's traditional to engage in courtship rituals with whoever you just spilled your drink on. For full cultural immersion, it should be Tennants, and the ritual should begin with the phrase, "aw fuck, I didnae see you there hen, y'alright?"

I welcome any and all visitors to Scotland to share in this much celebrated high art form we tend to summarise as "getting pished."
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this was a high effort shitpost pay attention to me
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pinky0926 posted...

this was a high effort shitpost pay attention to me

tl;dr?
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Sounds like a rich culture
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NeonOctopus posted...

pinky0926 posted...

this was a high effort shitpost pay attention to me

tl;dr?

Scots are a bunch of plebs
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I work with like 4 Scottish dudes. Theyre all hilarious in their own way.

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where does the haggis fit in with all of this

Kaiganeer posted...

where does the haggis fit in with all of this

It's on the plate of breakfast the next day to fix the hangover
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xSdtjb2xOow

Edit:

Also Happy Thanksgiving... You Black Watcher you.
@pinky0926

May this winters wool Burn your ass!!
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I have a friend who's Scottish. This all checks out.

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I actually was at a formal ceilidh night in Glasgow last Friday for my roller derby team's Christmas night out. Still got those moves learned from primary school dances!