Current Events > I'm getting ostracized for reporting my coworker to HR.

(+) Yeah! (+)

Sounds like you're surrounded by racists and idiots. Find a better job

Also HR never knows how to keep shit quiet and never EVER complain to HR about a head manager. 9 times out of 10 they report what you say straight to them even though they're not supposed to

Honestly I only get HR/management involved if I feel like all other options are exhausted. Talked to them myself. Had other co-workers try to talk to the problem person. I give them multiple chances to redeem themselves. Dealing with the fallout from an HR case isn't fun. But I had to do it at my first real job, and there is an open case here now for a stupid bitch that can't act right. Everyone wants her gone. We've given her more chances than she probably even deserves.

---

I didnt read the whole thing.

But TC got bothered by a Bill Burr joke. She just forgot to mention the quick twitch.
---

It boils down to this
Do you work to make friends or to make money?
If youre working there to make money it doesnt matter what people think of you.
Three out of every five people are complete idiots that youll be better off not having in your life.
Youre not missing anything by them shunning you, and youll find that theyve actually given you a gift. You wont need them. All you need to focus on is doing your job and keeping your nose clean and they cant touch you.
If youre working for friends then you probably should consider moving on because stupid people, while understanding very little about decency, never forget when one of the fish changes course and then tries to come back to the school. They never forget and never let you forget because its a way to control. Stupid people cant control themselves but they thrive on controlling others.
Its all up to you and what you want and yes, my post is heavily biased. I work to make money, not friends.
I already have friends. If one of my workmates makes the cut, fine.
If the others dont like me I dont care. They dont pay me.
---

bshwalker posted...

It boils down to this
Do you work to make friends or to make money?
If youre working there to make money it doesnt matter what people think of you.
Three out of every five people are complete idiots that youll be better off not having in your life.
Youre not missing anything by them shunning you, and youll find that theyve actually given you a gift. You wont need them. All you need to focus on is doing your job and keeping your nose clean and they cant touch you.
If youre working for friends then you probably should consider moving on because stupid people, while understanding very little about decency, never forget when one of the fish changes course and then tries to come back to the school. They never forget and never let you forget because its a way to control. Stupid people cant control themselves but they thrive on controlling others.
Its all up to you and what you want and yes, my post is heavily biased. I work to make money, not friends.
I already have friends. If one of my workmates makes the cut, fine.
If the others dont like me I dont care. They dont pay me.

This man speaks the truth

---

bshwalker posted...

It boils down to this
Do you work to make friends or to make money?
If youre working there to make money it doesnt matter what people think of you.
Three out of every five people are complete idiots that youll be better off not having in your life.
Youre not missing anything by them shunning you, and youll find that theyve actually given you a gift. You wont need them. All you need to focus on is doing your job and keeping your nose clean and they cant touch you.
If youre working for friends then you probably should consider moving on because stupid people, while understanding very little about decency, never forget when one of the fish changes course and then tries to come back to the school. They never forget and never let you forget because its a way to control. Stupid people cant control themselves but they thrive on controlling others.
Its all up to you and what you want and yes, my post is heavily biased. I work to make money, not friends.
I already have friends. If one of my workmates makes the cut, fine.
If the others dont like me I dont care. They dont pay me.

.....how much money you make is going to be affected by how much people like you.

No one is throwing promotions and raises at the office asshole
---

Basically if you can deal with it being awkward at least for the near future then stick it out. If it makes you feel too miserable to be there probably time to move on.

---

Solid Snake07 posted...

.....how much money you make is going to be affected by how much people like you.

No one is throwing promotions and raises at the office asshole

Tbf at some places the king moron is also "the office cool guy" and if he decides you're not part of the group it can be sucky. Doesn't mean you aren't a good worker or something. Hell stick around long enough, prove your worth, get promoted. End up being king moron's boss. Bring his ass in line.

---

If this ***** gets offended by a woman who quoted a Bill Burr joke, then I'm pretty certain all of his coworkers shunning him is going to mess with his delicate sensibilities.
---

Yadoken posted...

If this ***** gets offended by a woman who quoted a Bill Burr joke, then I'm pretty certain all of his coworkers shunning him is going to mess with his delicate sensibilities.

A bit crass, but I don't disagree. Growing a thicker layer of skin is going to definitely do him some good. Being overly sensitive to talk like this unfortunately doesn't tend to do a person any favors. He wouldn't last a second in the oilfield lol. Some of the convos are like sweet Jesus lol.

---

Solid Snake07 posted...

bshwalker posted...

It boils down to this
Do you work to make friends or to make money?
If youre working there to make money it doesnt matter what people think of you.
Three out of every five people are complete idiots that youll be better off not having in your life.
Youre not missing anything by them shunning you, and youll find that theyve actually given you a gift. You wont need them. All you need to focus on is doing your job and keeping your nose clean and they cant touch you.
If youre working for friends then you probably should consider moving on because stupid people, while understanding very little about decency, never forget when one of the fish changes course and then tries to come back to the school. They never forget and never let you forget because its a way to control. Stupid people cant control themselves but they thrive on controlling others.
Its all up to you and what you want and yes, my post is heavily biased. I work to make money, not friends.
I already have friends. If one of my workmates makes the cut, fine.
If the others dont like me I dont care. They dont pay me.

.....how much money you make is going to be affected by how much people like you.

No one is throwing promotions and raises at the office asshole

The people that pay gave an idiot a week off while not doing anything to the tc.
TC has nothing to worry about because the people that pay realize that if they dont discourage idiots from being themselves, the people that pay will eventually pay someone a ton of money because an idiot opened them up to a law suit.
---

mattnd2007 posted...

Solid Snake07 posted...

.....how much money you make is going to be affected by how much people like you.

No one is throwing promotions and raises at the office asshole

Tbf at some places the king moron is also "the office cool guy" and if he decides you're not part of the group it can be sucky. Doesn't mean you aren't a good worker or something. Hell stick around long enough, prove your worth, get promoted. End up being king moron's boss. Bring his ass in line.

Okay, but upper management needs to like you if you want to be promoted over king moron. Being a hard and efficient worker is part of that but it isnt everything. I know plenty of people who are great at what they do but never moved up. Sometimes because they didnt want to, sometimes because the people above them didnt like them, or didnt like them enough.

People who deserve it less are promoted everyday based on personal preference. It's just human nature
---

Yadoken posted...

If this ***** gets offended by a woman who quoted a Bill Burr joke, then I'm pretty certain all of his coworkers shunning him is going to mess with his delicate sensibilities.

idk why all of yall are just assuming she was quoting bill burr standup and I also dont know why that would make it cool

---

This is so fucking funny to me
Here's the reality of the situation
TC now could just say because of said racist woman, he's being bullied by others.
And she has yet another complaint on her running out list
---

bshwalker posted...

Solid Snake07 posted...

bshwalker posted...

It boils down to this
Do you work to make friends or to make money?
If youre working there to make money it doesnt matter what people think of you.
Three out of every five people are complete idiots that youll be better off not having in your life.
Youre not missing anything by them shunning you, and youll find that theyve actually given you a gift. You wont need them. All you need to focus on is doing your job and keeping your nose clean and they cant touch you.
If youre working for friends then you probably should consider moving on because stupid people, while understanding very little about decency, never forget when one of the fish changes course and then tries to come back to the school. They never forget and never let you forget because its a way to control. Stupid people cant control themselves but they thrive on controlling others.
Its all up to you and what you want and yes, my post is heavily biased. I work to make money, not friends.
I already have friends. If one of my workmates makes the cut, fine.
If the others dont like me I dont care. They dont pay me.

.....how much money you make is going to be affected by how much people like you.

No one is throwing promotions and raises at the office asshole

The people that pay gave an idiot a week off while not doing anything to the tc.
TC has nothing to worry about because the people that pay realize that if they dont discourage idiots from being themselves, the people that pay will eventually pay someone a ton of money because an idiot opened them up to a law suit.

Management also doesnt want someone who stirs shit unecessarily. They may have just suspended this chick for a week cause they had to protect their ass and look like they acted on the report of racism.

They also may not like that you made them have to pay someone to sit on their ass at home not working for a week cause you were upset by a bad joke.

Just something to consider
---

TheVipaGTS posted...

sounds like you work at a terribly toxic place.

Why? To me it seems like it very well was only a joke and dude had no reason getting involved at all.
---

Yeah unless your HR has an anonymous reporting system you run that risk. People love group think even if we publicly champion individualism.
---

dave_is_slick posted...

TheVipaGTS posted...

sounds like you work at a terribly toxic place.

Why? To me it seems like it very well was only a joke and dude had no reason getting involved at all.

Not every joke is office appropriate

TC never flat out said she was using it as a joke, but rather it and Just Saying were the excuses she gave. The usual suspects ran with the bill burr narrative, as if that somehow discredits it.

Pretty much everywhere Ive worked at a comment like that would be grounds for suspension/termination on repeat offenses
---

Esrac posted...

emblem boy posted...

Ugh. Why is this still something people believe

Because when they watch sports, they see a disproportionately high number of black people. They also know that black people were forcibly bred to be beasts of burden "back then" or believe that Africa is a harsher environment, physically speaking, than Europe or Asia. So they're under the impression that black people were generally bred, through artificial or natural selection, to be more physically fit.

So, they associate those ideas.

I mean, you can say it's incorrect, but you shouldn't be surprised that it is still a thing people would believe.

Hey man, we had at least 300 years of slavery in the New World. 300 years is A LOT of generations for selective breeding.

And this reminds me, people have these ideas from making these correlations, but you can't have discussion about them because it's "racist". Silencing them isn't going to make those thoughts go away. So how do you move forward?

In any case, the work place generally isn't the place for politics but I don't believe TC should have taken it up to HR. So what if she thinks that? How is it negatively going to affect you?
---

Was it selective breeding though? Or was it just those who survived. Eugenics is something that was long ago debunked.
---

DezDroppedFreak posted...

dave_is_slick posted...

TheVipaGTS posted...

sounds like you work at a terribly toxic place.

Why? To me it seems like it very well was only a joke and dude had no reason getting involved at all.

Not every joke is office appropriate

TC never flat out said she was using it as a joke, but rather it and Just Saying were the excuses she gave. The usual suspects ran with the bill burr narrative, as if that somehow discredits it.

Pretty much everywhere Ive worked at a comment like that would be grounds for suspension/termination on repeat offenses

He never once indicated this was a repeat thing. This seems more and more like nobody was bothered at all and he took it on himself to get offended by something that could've simply been an ignorant statement and not born from a place of racism like most of these people freaking out are jumping to. I'd hate to be the person who assumes the worst about everyone and everything, must be exhausting.
---

Imagine hating a co-worker because they reported a co-worker who isn't you for being a shithead
---

008Zulu posted...

Was it selective breeding though? Or was it just those who survived. Eugenics is something that was long ago debunked.

So I've been told back in the days of slavery, a "pimp" was the most physically strong male slave. The slave master would have him breed with all the females in hopes that he'd pass on his favored genes. I've learned this back in HS some 15 years ago so I'd have to research its authenticity but given how slaves' lives were dictated and controlled to a "t", nothing sounds implausible about this. I'm curious to hear what you learned about Eugenics that would invalidate this. And yes, I'm already aware that passing on genes is not 100% guaranteed. I personally am the proverbial and almost literal black sheep of a high color family.
---

hockeybub89 posted...

Imagine hating a co-worker because they reported a co-worker who isn't you for being a shithead

Imagine thinking one ignorant comment makes you a "shithead".
dave_is_slick posted...

I'd hate to be the person who assumes the worst about everyone and everything, must be exhausting.

---

dave_is_slick posted...

DezDroppedFreak posted...

dave_is_slick posted...

TheVipaGTS posted...

sounds like you work at a terribly toxic place.

Why? To me it seems like it very well was only a joke and dude had no reason getting involved at all.

Not every joke is office appropriate

TC never flat out said she was using it as a joke, but rather it and Just Saying were the excuses she gave. The usual suspects ran with the bill burr narrative, as if that somehow discredits it.

Pretty much everywhere Ive worked at a comment like that would be grounds for suspension/termination on repeat offenses

He never once indicated this was a repeat thing. This seems more and more like nobody was bothered at all and he took it on himself to get offended by something that could've simply been an ignorant statement and not born from a place of racism like most of these people freaking out are jumping to. I'd hate to be the person who assumes the worst about everyone and everything, must be exhausting.

"They're not a bigot. They're stupid." will never start being a good defense for anyone ever. Maliciousness and carelessness are both awful flaws in the workplace or really anywhere.
---

Sad_Face posted...

So I've been told back in the days of slavery, a "pimp" was the most physically strong male slave. The slave master would have him breed with all the females in hopes that he'd pass on his favored genes. I've learned this back in HS some 15 years ago so I'd have to research its authenticity but given how slaves' lives were dictated and controlled to a "t", nothing sounds implausible about this. I'm curious to hear what you learned about Eugenics that would invalidate this. And yes, I'm already aware that passing on genes is not 100% guaranteed. I personally am the proverbial and almost literal black sheep of a high color family.

Honestly I don't know enough on the subject. But it wouldn't surprise me if they were doing this. Slaves weren't seen as people, but rather as a commodity.

---

Grow a spine for fucks sake

---

dave_is_slick posted...

DezDroppedFreak posted...

dave_is_slick posted...

TheVipaGTS posted...

sounds like you work at a terribly toxic place.

Why? To me it seems like it very well was only a joke and dude had no reason getting involved at all.

Not every joke is office appropriate

TC never flat out said she was using it as a joke, but rather it and Just Saying were the excuses she gave. The usual suspects ran with the bill burr narrative, as if that somehow discredits it.

Pretty much everywhere Ive worked at a comment like that would be grounds for suspension/termination on repeat offenses

He never once indicated this was a repeat thing. This seems more and more like nobody was bothered at all and he took it on himself to get offended by something that could've simply been an ignorant statement and not born from a place of racism like most of these people freaking out are jumping to. I'd hate to be the person who assumes the worst about everyone and everything, must be exhausting.

Where did I say this was a repeat offense? I said everywhere Ive worked repeat offenses would be termination.

A statement like that is more than likely born out of some sort of racial bias, which is ignorance.

AlmightyCheeks posted...

Grow a spine for fucks sake

Id say turning in racist comments to HR is having a spine, considering the reaction this topic has gotten.
---

Way too much stupidity in the work place for people to be defending it.
---

hockeybub89 posted...

"They're not a bigot. They're stupid." will never start being a good defense for anyone ever. Maliciousness and carelessness are both awful flaws in the workplace or really anywhere.

Because assuming the worst is such a better alternative. Get that bullshit outta here. There are legit things to get offended about and this doesn't even register on the scale.
---

Solid Snake07 posted...

bshwalker posted...

Solid Snake07 posted...

bshwalker posted...

It boils down to this
Do you work to make friends or to make money?
If youre working there to make money it doesnt matter what people think of you.
Three out of every five people are complete idiots that youll be better off not having in your life.
Youre not missing anything by them shunning you, and youll find that theyve actually given you a gift. You wont need them. All you need to focus on is doing your job and keeping your nose clean and they cant touch you.
If youre working for friends then you probably should consider moving on because stupid people, while understanding very little about decency, never forget when one of the fish changes course and then tries to come back to the school. They never forget and never let you forget because its a way to control. Stupid people cant control themselves but they thrive on controlling others.
Its all up to you and what you want and yes, my post is heavily biased. I work to make money, not friends.
I already have friends. If one of my workmates makes the cut, fine.
If the others dont like me I dont care. They dont pay me.

.....how much money you make is going to be affected by how much people like you.

No one is throwing promotions and raises at the office asshole

The people that pay gave an idiot a week off while not doing anything to the tc.
TC has nothing to worry about because the people that pay realize that if they dont discourage idiots from being themselves, the people that pay will eventually pay someone a ton of money because an idiot opened them up to a law suit.

Management also doesnt want someone who stirs shit unecessarily. They may have just suspended this chick for a week cause they had to protect their ass and look like they acted on the report of racism.

They also may not like that you made them have to pay someone to sit on their ass at home not working for a week cause you were upset by a bad joke.

Just something to consider

If thats true then management has a high concentration of idiots that arent worth working for.
If the current money is fine then theres nothing to worry about either way.
---

Definitely not the type of comment you should make it work but taking it to HR, especially if it was only once and wasnt really directed at anybody specific was going too far. Saying something to someone is one thing but going out of your way to get them in trouble and possibly even fired isnt gonna make you a very popular guy.

---

Heres another scenario that isnt being brought up-
Most work places are subject to discrimination and hostile work environment regulations.
One of those regulations is that if an employee makes an offensive or hostile remark in the presence of other co-workers and there is a complaint by another go-worker, the co-workers that heard the remark and didnt report it can be disciplined as well.
We have training on this subject every year where I work.
The reason we have the training every year is because that exact scenario played out.
That is supposed to discourage people from saying stupid things by encouraging everyone to report stupid things said by stupid people.
On another note if selective breeding made slave descendants better athletes, how do you explain African distance runners and sprinters?
---

Abiz_ posted...

Well, I don't believe you. Your group and her group both dropped you? Sounds like you chose to ignore the context or nuisance and now people don't like you for it or trust you.

dave_is_slick posted...

hockeybub89 posted...

"They're not a bigot. They're stupid." will never start being a good defense for anyone ever. Maliciousness and carelessness are both awful flaws in the workplace or really anywhere.

Because assuming the worst is such a better alternative. Get that bullshit outta here. There are legit things to get offended about and this doesn't even register on the scale.

Where did I say anything about "the worst"? Way too much unchecked stupidity and incompetence in the workplace as is. Maybe stupidity shouldn't get you fired instantly as if you did something deliberately and heinously rotten, but it should be discouraged as regularly as possible. Otherwise, it just festers, like a really dumb sore.
---

TC, you did the right thing. Others probably didn't care for what was said, you spoke up. But, going to the person was a mistake.
If you're gonna talk to them about it, do so and that's it. Going further afterwards is just putting a target on your back.
Go to HR first anonymously or to the person in question, but not both.

That said, you did the right thing, but there is fallout. It's shitty, but it's the way it is.

---

Spooking posted...

Agnostic420 posted...

No legit job is going to get mad at an employee for making a racist comment.

This. Real life isn't a Reddit safe space where you can have your own personal hugbox to tell you you are correct. Tip for people: stop caring so much. If you see somebody jaywalking and think it's a good idea to call the cops, then cut your caring by 90%. Somebody talks shit at work? Cut your caring by 80%. Somebody 'stole' a french fry? Stop your caring by 90%. Making a big deal out of everything is just going to cause you unnecessary stress and heartache.

I feel like 99% of the users on this site need to read this.
---

imagine conflating this with going to the cops and still thinking a good argument was made

but these are also the same type of people who think getting fired over something you said is a violation of free speech, lol. as if incarceration is the result, lmao
---

pussy pass tbh

if it was a dude, especially a white dude who got reported for something that could be taken as racist then they would for sure get fired.

Oh and was it a thing said in general, or specifically to you? Was it a 1 off thing, or a constant regular thing that its pretty much bullying?

If it was a 1 off thing that was said in generalities and not towards you then you dun goofed bro.

IdiotMachine posted...

I'll try to be as sensitive as possible: We were talking about sports, and she said that certain races are just naturally good at them because of how they were bred for those traits "back then".

Ok, TC, if this was really it then it wasnt directed at you or any co-workers in a bullying manner, that is literally a non-issue and sounds like some silly thing that would get modded here

Sure inappropriate. but nothing to go to go to HR for. If it was something like you being bullied and everyone is pretty much aware of it then yeah probably go.

A simple 'hahah, bruh that is so inappropriate hahaha' or 'hahaha not cool haha' while smiling and shaking your head would have been enough.

Toyota has gotten banned numerous times for racism against black people so don't bother taking anything he says seriously
---

TC got called a race traitor in a roundabout way from cowards implying that he shouldn't care if he's White, and nobody bats an eye, LOLOLOL
---

AwesomeToTheMAX posted...

Toyota has gotten banned numerous times for racism against black people so don't bother taking anything he says seriously

its true though and just going through the thread it sounds like a lot of people agree that he made a mountain out of a molehill.

just saying something once and saying it in a way that doesnt sound like a malicious manner then just let that shit slide. If its a constant sort of thing she says and its obviously actually offending people then yeah she should probably be called out for it.

DoubleDare posted...

but yea, running to HR for anything is a big no-no.

btw, Why is going to HR a big no-no and what is HR for anyways?

Forgettable posted...

You did the right thing. All humans are equal in every aspect. It was completely wrong of her to say otherwise.

Humans are mentally equal, but physically different. Height, facial features, hair color...

Case in point, apparently people from Western African regions are the fastest athletes.
---

Suck it up, buttercup. All actions have consequences no matter the intention.

---

So this thread sort of blew up. Here are some more details:
*I am Asian (not Southeast Asian).
*She made the remark after a black male coworker left the lunch (he plays pick up soccer, sponsored by our company, and his team is predominantly black, and has been in the top 3 for the past 4 years they started).
*She does make other race-related jokes (small eyes was directed to me once and asking me where my chopsticks were).
*The race comment three weeks ago was the one that pushed me over the edge I suppose.

Now the company employs over 5,000 people, where her group and my group is made up of ~15 people each. So I could change departments.... Maybe even change to a different location. But I don't want to do that. It's like I'm giving up.
---

Thanks for providing more context that shows you were indeed in the right to do what you did
---

IdiotMachine posted...

I am Asian

CE gonna be "b-but Asian people are the good ones!!!"

Seriously, you could be any race in the world and it wouldn't matter. She's racist and doesn't care.
Fuck her. You did the right thing.
---