Current Events > High court rules that mom should tell her son who his biological father is.

(+) Yeah! (+)

_Rinku_ posted...

s0nicfan posted...

s0nicfan posted...

_Rinku_ posted...

s0nicfan posted...

Here's a question: To all the people saying the man in this situation has a responsibility to continue to raise the child (and I'm not saying he doesn't)... should the biological father owe backpaid and continue to pay child support? Presumably if he doesn't have to raise his own kid, he at the very least should be legally financially responsible for the child's upbringing, right?

Legally? No. The husband is the child's legal father.

Morally? I say still no. This is the husband's child even if they're not genetically related.

Do you think there should be any repercussions at all, to anyone, over this kind of deception? Or is this (both legally and morally) a case of "too bad"?

@_Rinku_

I never got an answer on this.

Oh, I missed your question.

Well, let's say you introduce some kind of legal consequence for women who lie about their child's paternity. Do you think any woman, ever, would admit it then? This is similar to punishments for false rape allegations. Ideally, sure, it would make sense, but realistically it's just going to discourage people from reporting it (for fear that they would be punished for "lying" if their accusation couldn't be proven) or for anyone who actually lied to ever recant. What incentive would a mother have to admit that her child isn't biologically who she said they were? What about women who aren't sure? How do you plan to account for all of this, legally?

So, both legally and morally, it essentially has to be a "too bad" situation or things will get really hairy.

So the issue is that if there are punishments, a woman won't admit to doing it? Women are ALREADY not admitting to doing it. Plus there's no issue with "women who aren't sure." That's what paternity tests are for. We literally have an objective way to assess the situation with near 100% certainty.

The point isn't that this is an incentive for a mother to admit that her child is from an affair. You're not SUPPOSED to be incentivizing that behavior.
---

@RiKuToTheMiGhtY

I'm a man lol. Not every guy thinks the way you do.

s0nicfan posted...

Here's a question: To all the people saying the man in this situation has a responsibility to continue to raise the child (and I'm not saying he doesn't)... should the biological father owe backpaid and continue to pay child support? Presumably if he doesn't have to raise his own kid, he at the very least should be legally financially responsible for the child's upbringing, right?

That's a tough question imo. How long did she know it wasn't the husband's? Did the other man know or even know about the child's existence?

The husband believes the son should know who the real father is so that would at least absolve him of financial responsibility. However I think it would fall on the mother depending on the answers to those questions. She lied to multiple people.

Also most people are criticizing the posters that claim they would completely abandon the kid upon the news. This wasn't a step kid, dude raised the child from birth. He's hurt but there is an emotional attachment that some of you obviously never had.
---

Good to know for medical reasons.
---

IfGodCouldDie posted...

RiKuToTheMiGhtY posted...

This is just more proof of men not getting empathy and being disposable.

How so?

Because youre apparently an absolute psychopath if you dont steep yourself in this deeply psychologically damaging situation for the rest of your life.

Some of you arent trying to imagine what its like to be in this situation and are speaking from a caustic "virtuous" viewpoint. If thats not a lack of empathy, then I have no idea what that word means anymore. Being a situation that only a man could suffer through, a lot of women commenting judgementally need to cool it.
---

Jerry_Hellyeah posted...

IfGodCouldDie posted...

RiKuToTheMiGhtY posted...

This is just more proof of men not getting empathy and being disposable.

How so?

Because youre apparently an absolute psychopath if you dont steep yourself in this deeply psychologically damaging situation for the rest of your life.

Some of you arent trying to imagine what its like to be in this situation and are speaking from a caustic "virtuous" viewpoint. If thats not a lack of empathy, then I have no idea what that word means anymore. Being a situation that only a man could suffer through, a lot of women commenting judgementally need to cool it.

"It's only the women who disagree with me!"

Jerry_Hellyeah posted...

Because youre apparently an absolute psychopath if you dont steep yourself in this deeply psychologically damaging situation for the rest of your life.

Some of you arent trying to imagine what its like to be in this situation and are speaking from a caustic "virtuous" viewpoint. If thats not a lack of empathy, then I have no idea what that word means anymore. Being a situation that only a man could suffer through, a lot of women commenting judgementally need to cool it.

Dude you're on gamefaqs, 99% of all users are men here.

---

_Rinku_ posted...

Jerry_Hellyeah posted...

Im the only one in my family able to have children to carry on my family's name and genetics.

If I found out you took away that chance and killed my bloodline......scrubbed away that little piece of my great grandfather still in the world......no, some of you really arent thinking this through.

Id be out of the picture because any interaction I would have around the mother would be tinged with rage and hate, and Im not gonna keep a child in a situation like that just to make myself feel more virtuous.

The woman took these things away from her child, not the man who was straight up TRICKED into financially supporting them. The pain the child goes through for not having a father is on her.

I guess some of you guys havent been in a long term cheating/lying scenario. This is so extremely beyond that.

XD

I love it when people like you wax poetic about your bloodline and how important your "name" is. You're not a legendary warrior who's reincarnated in your descendants.

Name two of your great-great grandparents. If you know, I can almost guarantee that your children won't. Your existence is essentially forgotten within 150 years of your death. Your "name" (especially your last name, which you share with thousands of people on this planet) is very ephemeral in the grand scheme of things.

Yeah, go away. My great grandfather is the descendant if John Brown. My father looks exactly like his great grandfather. A literal piece of my great great grandfather lives on in me and only me now. You might not value your history, you might be cool just forgetting, but your "whatever" way of life doesnt give you any ground to judge someone from.

The difference here is that I have things worth passing on. :)
---

Jerry_Hellyeah posted...

IfGodCouldDie posted...

RiKuToTheMiGhtY posted...

This is just more proof of men not getting empathy and being disposable.

How so?

Because youre apparently an absolute psychopath if you dont steep yourself in this deeply psychologically damaging situation for the rest of your life.

Some of you arent trying to imagine what its like to be in this situation and are speaking from a caustic "virtuous" viewpoint. If thats not a lack of empathy, then I have no idea what that word means anymore. Being a situation that only a man could suffer through, a lot of women commenting judgementally need to cool it.

Maybe try reading the quote chain that is from.
---

Jerry_Hellyeah posted...

_Rinku_ posted...

Jerry_Hellyeah posted...

Im the only one in my family able to have children to carry on my family's name and genetics.

If I found out you took away that chance and killed my bloodline......scrubbed away that little piece of my great grandfather still in the world......no, some of you really arent thinking this through.

Id be out of the picture because any interaction I would have around the mother would be tinged with rage and hate, and Im not gonna keep a child in a situation like that just to make myself feel more virtuous.

The woman took these things away from her child, not the man who was straight up TRICKED into financially supporting them. The pain the child goes through for not having a father is on her.

I guess some of you guys havent been in a long term cheating/lying scenario. This is so extremely beyond that.

XD

I love it when people like you wax poetic about your bloodline and how important your "name" is. You're not a legendary warrior who's reincarnated in your descendants.

Name two of your great-great grandparents. If you know, I can almost guarantee that your children won't. Your existence is essentially forgotten within 150 years of your death. Your "name" (especially your last name, which you share with thousands of people on this planet) is very ephemeral in the grand scheme of things.

Yeah, go away. My great grandfather is the descendant if John Brown. My father looks exactly like his great grandfather. A literal piece of my great great grandfather lives on in me and only me now. You might not value your history, you might be cool just forgetting, but your "whatever" way of life doesnt give you any ground to judge someone from.

The difference here is that I have things worth passing on. :)

How do you know that the bloodline from John Brown goes directly to you? Did every single mother in the line from the 1800s down consent to a paternity test? Are you sure no one was quietly adopted on the way? Would your ancestor be proud of the way you're acting now?

Jerry_Hellyeah posted...

_Rinku_ posted...

Jerry_Hellyeah posted...

Im the only one in my family able to have children to carry on my family's name and genetics.

If I found out you took away that chance and killed my bloodline......scrubbed away that little piece of my great grandfather still in the world......no, some of you really arent thinking this through.

Id be out of the picture because any interaction I would have around the mother would be tinged with rage and hate, and Im not gonna keep a child in a situation like that just to make myself feel more virtuous.

The woman took these things away from her child, not the man who was straight up TRICKED into financially supporting them. The pain the child goes through for not having a father is on her.

I guess some of you guys havent been in a long term cheating/lying scenario. This is so extremely beyond that.

XD

I love it when people like you wax poetic about your bloodline and how important your "name" is. You're not a legendary warrior who's reincarnated in your descendants.

Name two of your great-great grandparents. If you know, I can almost guarantee that your children won't. Your existence is essentially forgotten within 150 years of your death. Your "name" (especially your last name, which you share with thousands of people on this planet) is very ephemeral in the grand scheme of things.

Yeah, go away. My great grandfather is the descendant if John Brown. My father looks exactly like his great grandfather. A literal piece of my great great grandfather lives on in me and only me now. You might not value your history, you might be cool just forgetting, but your "whatever" way of life doesnt give you any ground to judge someone from.

The difference here is that I have things worth passing on. :)

What have YOU contributed to society or the advancement of the human race?
---

Foppe posted...

I can understand getting angry at her, but to stop loving the kid you raised as your own son for 8 years?
No normal person got any On/Off love switch that they can flip any way they want.

Humans tend to be very emotional and make very rash decisions. So learning that the child you have been raising was a from an affair would vastly impair judgement and make him only feel pure anger/hatred.
---

LightHawKnight posted...

Foppe posted...

I can understand getting angry at her, but to stop loving the kid you raised as your own son for 8 years?
No normal person got any On/Off love switch that they can flip any way they want.

Humans tend to be very emotional and make very rash decisions. So learning that the child you have been raising was a from an affair would vastly impair judgement and make him only feel pure anger/hatred.

Making a hasty decision in the moment is understandable. Still abandoning your child after you've had time to cool down and be more rational is not.

IfGodCouldDie posted...

Jerry_Hellyeah posted...

_Rinku_ posted...

Jerry_Hellyeah posted...

Im the only one in my family able to have children to carry on my family's name and genetics.

If I found out you took away that chance and killed my bloodline......scrubbed away that little piece of my great grandfather still in the world......no, some of you really arent thinking this through.

Id be out of the picture because any interaction I would have around the mother would be tinged with rage and hate, and Im not gonna keep a child in a situation like that just to make myself feel more virtuous.

The woman took these things away from her child, not the man who was straight up TRICKED into financially supporting them. The pain the child goes through for not having a father is on her.

I guess some of you guys havent been in a long term cheating/lying scenario. This is so extremely beyond that.

XD

I love it when people like you wax poetic about your bloodline and how important your "name" is. You're not a legendary warrior who's reincarnated in your descendants.

Name two of your great-great grandparents. If you know, I can almost guarantee that your children won't. Your existence is essentially forgotten within 150 years of your death. Your "name" (especially your last name, which you share with thousands of people on this planet) is very ephemeral in the grand scheme of things.

Yeah, go away. My great grandfather is the descendant if John Brown. My father looks exactly like his great grandfather. A literal piece of my great great grandfather lives on in me and only me now. You might not value your history, you might be cool just forgetting, but your "whatever" way of life doesnt give you any ground to judge someone from.

The difference here is that I have things worth passing on. :)

What have YOU contributed to society or the advancement of the human race?

Im not gonna give an inch to this stupid retort. If you have nothing worth passing on then thats completely fine, just dont try and put that worthlessness on someone else.
---

_Rinku_ posted...

LightHawKnight posted...

Foppe posted...

I can understand getting angry at her, but to stop loving the kid you raised as your own son for 8 years?
No normal person got any On/Off love switch that they can flip any way they want.

Humans tend to be very emotional and make very rash decisions. So learning that the child you have been raising was a from an affair would vastly impair judgement and make him only feel pure anger/hatred.

Making a hasty decision in the moment is understandable. Still abandoning your child after you've had time to cool down and be more rational is not.

It's literally not his child. That child was abandoned by his mother and biological father eight years ago. For money.
---

These cant be adults.
---

LightHawKnight posted...

Foppe posted...

I can understand getting angry at her, but to stop loving the kid you raised as your own son for 8 years?
No normal person got any On/Off love switch that they can flip any way they want.

Humans tend to be very emotional and make very rash decisions. So learning that the child you have been raising was a from an affair would vastly impair judgement and make him only feel pure anger/hatred.

And if you read the article it was very clear that's what he did, but after some time and a hearing he had changed his mind.
---

Jerry_Hellyeah posted...

Im not gonna give an inch to this stupid retort. If you have nothing worth passing on then thats completely fine, just dont try and put that worthlessness on someone else.

What do you personally have that's, in your opinion, worth passing on? What do you consider your contribution to the world?

darkjedilink posted...

_Rinku_ posted...

LightHawKnight posted...

Foppe posted...

I can understand getting angry at her, but to stop loving the kid you raised as your own son for 8 years?
No normal person got any On/Off love switch that they can flip any way they want.

Humans tend to be very emotional and make very rash decisions. So learning that the child you have been raising was a from an affair would vastly impair judgement and make him only feel pure anger/hatred.

Making a hasty decision in the moment is understandable. Still abandoning your child after you've had time to cool down and be more rational is not.

It's literally not his child. That child was abandoned by his mother and biological father eight years ago. For money.

He raised the kid for eight years. That's his kid.

Jerry_Hellyeah posted...

IfGodCouldDie posted...

Jerry_Hellyeah posted...

_Rinku_ posted...

Jerry_Hellyeah posted...

Im the only one in my family able to have children to carry on my family's name and genetics.

If I found out you took away that chance and killed my bloodline......scrubbed away that little piece of my great grandfather still in the world......no, some of you really arent thinking this through.

Id be out of the picture because any interaction I would have around the mother would be tinged with rage and hate, and Im not gonna keep a child in a situation like that just to make myself feel more virtuous.

The woman took these things away from her child, not the man who was straight up TRICKED into financially supporting them. The pain the child goes through for not having a father is on her.

I guess some of you guys havent been in a long term cheating/lying scenario. This is so extremely beyond that.

XD

I love it when people like you wax poetic about your bloodline and how important your "name" is. You're not a legendary warrior who's reincarnated in your descendants.

Name two of your great-great grandparents. If you know, I can almost guarantee that your children won't. Your existence is essentially forgotten within 150 years of your death. Your "name" (especially your last name, which you share with thousands of people on this planet) is very ephemeral in the grand scheme of things.

Yeah, go away. My great grandfather is the descendant if John Brown. My father looks exactly like his great grandfather. A literal piece of my great great grandfather lives on in me and only me now. You might not value your history, you might be cool just forgetting, but your "whatever" way of life doesnt give you any ground to judge someone from.

The difference here is that I have things worth passing on. :)

What have YOU contributed to society or the advancement of the human race?

Im not gonna give an inch to this stupid retort. If you have nothing worth passing on then thats completely fine, just dont try and put that worthlessness on someone else.

Ha ha ha, that pretty much answers the question. You dont even have anything you can be proud of, anything even you consider being proud of. All you have is your "bloodline," and I can assure you it doesn't mean as much as you have led yourself to believe.
---

_Rinku_ posted...

LightHawKnight posted...

Foppe posted...

I can understand getting angry at her, but to stop loving the kid you raised as your own son for 8 years?
No normal person got any On/Off love switch that they can flip any way they want.

Humans tend to be very emotional and make very rash decisions. So learning that the child you have been raising was a from an affair would vastly impair judgement and make him only feel pure anger/hatred.

Making a hasty decision in the moment is understandable. Still abandoning your child after you've had time to cool down and be more rational is not.

Humans tend to not be very rational at all. Which is why people rarely ever learn from their mistakes and humanity keeps fucking itself over. Also this guy did eventually cool down and change his mind.
---

'He raised the kid for eight years. That's his kid.'

Not according to a DNA test. Or the sworn testimony of the mother.
---

@_Rinku_ to be honest, I think the problem with most of the people in this topic is they don't actually know what it means to build develop a bond or be loved by another human being.
---

IfGodCouldDie posted...

@_Rinku_ to be honest, I think the problem with most of the people in this topic is they don't actually know what it means to build develop a bond or be loved by another human being.

I'm guessing you don't know what it's like to be in a long term relationship with the member of the opposite sex, or be cheated on, if you think the guy being cheated on is the bad guy here.
---

IfGodCouldDie posted...

@_Rinku_ to be honest, I think the problem with most of the people in this topic is they don't actually know what it means to build develop a bond or be loved by another human being.

No its no sane man is going to sit there and be cucked, constantly reminded every time they see the child now that it is the product of a cheating whore who betrayed him.

Being reminded every day that your wife/woman popped out another mans child and lied about it being yours plus 8 years of being a fucking fool is not acceptable to most men.

You keep going on about the bond of father and son but that bond was built on a huge fucking lie.
---

darkjedilink posted...

IfGodCouldDie posted...

@_Rinku_ to be honest, I think the problem with most of the people in this topic is they don't actually know what it means to build develop a bond or be loved by another human being.

I'm guessing you don't know what it's like to be in a long term relationship with the member of the opposite sex, or be cheated on, if you think the guy being cheated on is the bad guy here.

Why does it have to be a member of the opposite sex? That's kind of homophobic implying that same sex relationships are not as valid as heterosexual ones. But I have been with my current wife for 8 years, married for 6 and have a 6 and a 4 year old. I have been in relationships where I was cheated on and have been in relationships where I cheated. I do not see how that has anything to do with anything at hand here. I have never implied I thought the guy being cheated on was the bad guy. It's you people that would so quickly abandon a child you have spent 8 years of your life loving, caring for and raising only to turn around and dump like yesterdays garbage that I consider bad guys.
---

RiKuToTheMiGhtY posted...

IfGodCouldDie posted...

@_Rinku_ to be honest, I think the problem with most of the people in this topic is they don't actually know what it means to build develop a bond or be loved by another human being.

No its no sane man is going to sit there and be cucked, constantly reminded every time they see the child now that it is the product of a cheating whore who betrayed him.

Being reminded every day that your wife/woman popped out another mans child and lied about it being yours plus 8 years of being a fucking fool is not acceptable to most men.

You keep going on about the bond of father and son but that bond was built on a huge fucking lie.

I'll refer you to a post I made earlier.

IfGodCouldDie posted...

Let me put in a way that some of you sociopaths can understand. The best thing that man can do is raise that child and be the most loving person in their life. Because what will eventually happen is when the child is old enough to find out what kind of terrible human being their mother is and find out that the man they have been calling dad for their entire life was betrayed by their mom, the dynamic of that relationship will shift in a way that the mother will be resented and possibly even hated. That would be the best revenge because not only have you taken away the child from the mother by the child's own choice, you continue to bask in the undying love of a person grateful for everything you have ever done for them.

---

darkjedilink posted...

'He raised the kid for eight years. That's his kid.'

Not according to a DNA test. Or the sworn testimony of the mother.

Yikes. You're being deliberately obtuse or...

@IfGodCouldDie

What your really saying is that you have no response.
---

_Rinku_ posted...

darkjedilink posted...

'He raised the kid for eight years. That's his kid.'

Not according to a DNA test. Or the sworn testimony of the mother.

Yikes. You're being deliberately obtuse or...

Not at all. I'm pointing out that the child literally isn't his. The child's mom said so in a court of law. This whole situation came about precisely because the child isn't his.

As such, he has every right to walk away, and shouldn't be judged negatively for doing so.
---

darkjedilink posted...

'He raised the kid for eight years. That's his kid.'

Not according to a DNA test. Or the sworn testimony of the mother.

He got duped into raising the kid for eight years is a more accurate statement.

Momma needs to pay some retribution

darkjedilink posted...

_Rinku_ posted...

darkjedilink posted...

'He raised the kid for eight years. That's his kid.'

Not according to a DNA test. Or the sworn testimony of the mother.

Yikes. You're being deliberately obtuse or...

Not at all. I'm pointing out that the child literally isn't his. The child's mom said so in a court of law. This whole situation came about precisely because the child isn't his.

As such, he has every right to walk away, and shouldn't be judged negatively for doing so.

The child is not biologically related to him. That is still his child.

Did you struggle with Guardians of the Galaxy 2, by chance?

darkjedilink posted...

_Rinku_ posted...

darkjedilink posted...

'He raised the kid for eight years. That's his kid.'

Not according to a DNA test. Or the sworn testimony of the mother.

Yikes. You're being deliberately obtuse or...

Not at all. I'm pointing out that the child literally isn't his. The child's mom said so in a court of law. This whole situation came about precisely because the child isn't his.

As such, he has every right to walk away, and shouldn't be judged negatively for doing so.

It seems like you'd also judge him negatively for staying too. Unless you weren't one of the guys calling him a beta cuck or any of that stupid shit.
---

Fam_Fam posted...

biological father is responsible financially, its his kid.

telling the kid is a gray area. i think they can/should tell when he's old enough to understand the situation. not now, necessarily, though.

it would be VERY hard if it wasn't mine. I'd probably want to be involved still to some extent, because I would love the kid.I would not take 100% responsibility though, probably. Particularly if this was the result of cheating that caused me to break up with the woman. If me and her were fine, I'd be more inclined to be in the child's life and to help. Not really fair to the kid (who wouldn't be responsible for what happens with me and woman), but it's how i would feel/act I think.

You dont respect a mans right to choose?

Dont deny my literal existence

---

Empathy is understanding that whatever the guy does is okay.

Hes not a piece of shit for leaving, but hed no doubt be a HERO to stay in the kid's life.

Im not saying he SHOULD leave, Im saying he has every right to do so without judgement. I doubt anyone in this thread including myself has had to feel a pain like this. Is there a deeper betrayal a human can suffer?
---

RiKuToTheMiGhtY posted...

@IfGodCouldDie

What your really saying is that you have no response.

Not at all, was the paragraph to big for you to read or something?
---

Jerry_Hellyeah posted...

Empathy is understanding that whatever the guy does is okay.

Hes not a piece of shit for leaving, but hed no doubt be a HERO to stay in the kid's life.

Im not saying he SHOULD leave, Im saying he has every right to do so without judgement. I doubt anyone in this thread including myself has had to feel a pain like this. Is there a deeper betrayal a human can suffer?

In what world is abandoning your child not automatically grounds for being a piece of shit?

IfGodCouldDie posted...

darkjedilink posted...

IfGodCouldDie posted...

@_Rinku_ to be honest, I think the problem with most of the people in this topic is they don't actually know what it means to build develop a bond or be loved by another human being.

I'm guessing you don't know what it's like to be in a long term relationship with the member of the opposite sex, or be cheated on, if you think the guy being cheated on is the bad guy here.

Why does it have to be a member of the opposite sex? That's kind of homophobic implying that same sex relationships are not as valid as heterosexual ones.

Umm.....you know where babies come from, right?

Not trying to be a dick, but you kinda kneejerked here without thinking about the discussion going on.
---

Jerry_Hellyeah posted...

Empathy is understanding that whatever the guy does is okay.

Hes not a piece of shit for leaving, but hed no doubt be a HERO to stay in the kid's life.

Im not saying he SHOULD leave, Im saying he has every right to do so without judgement. I doubt anyone in this thread including myself has had to feel a pain like this. Is there a deeper betrayal a human can suffer?

I agree, at no point have I spoken negatively about the guy in the op. My points have been directed at the people that so easily turn around and say that they would easily be able to drop the kid without a second thought.
---

_Rinku_ posted...

Jerry_Hellyeah posted...

Empathy is understanding that whatever the guy does is okay.

Hes not a piece of shit for leaving, but hed no doubt be a HERO to stay in the kid's life.

Im not saying he SHOULD leave, Im saying he has every right to do so without judgement. I doubt anyone in this thread including myself has had to feel a pain like this. Is there a deeper betrayal a human can suffer?

In what world is abandoning your child not automatically grounds for being a piece of shit?

It's literally not his kid.
---

Jerry_Hellyeah posted...

IfGodCouldDie posted...

darkjedilink posted...

IfGodCouldDie posted...

@_Rinku_ to be honest, I think the problem with most of the people in this topic is they don't actually know what it means to build develop a bond or be loved by another human being.

I'm guessing you don't know what it's like to be in a long term relationship with the member of the opposite sex, or be cheated on, if you think the guy being cheated on is the bad guy here.

Why does it have to be a member of the opposite sex? That's kind of homophobic implying that same sex relationships are not as valid as heterosexual ones.

Umm.....you know where babies come from, right?

Not trying to be a dick, but you kinda kneejerked here without thinking about the discussion going on.

Yea. What does that have to do with his attack on my relationship experience?
---

_Rinku_ posted...

Jerry_Hellyeah posted...

Empathy is understanding that whatever the guy does is okay.

Hes not a piece of shit for leaving, but hed no doubt be a HERO to stay in the kid's life.

Im not saying he SHOULD leave, Im saying he has every right to do so without judgement. I doubt anyone in this thread including myself has had to feel a pain like this. Is there a deeper betrayal a human can suffer?

In what world is abandoning your child not automatically grounds for being a piece of shit?

You keep saying that like the parent-child bond should always outweigh the absolute feeling of betrayal. Its ultimately up to the guy on how he wants to process his feelings, but there are just some relationships you can never mend. Its like advocating to stay married for the kids despite it not being healthy, or applying this same logic to a relationship. Some things are better broken off. I agree that objectively that it would be better for the child to continue to be loved, but the mans feelings need to be taken into account. I think its definitely a virtuous thing to continue to be in the childs life, but its not inherently disgusting to want to cut all this.

I feel it's screwed up that some people think one should still be obligated to stay in such a messed up situation like this, but calling these kids "another man's load" is pretty tasteless.
---

When a mommy and a daddy love each other or get drunk enough they give each other a special hug.



@IfGodCouldDie
---

Jerry_Hellyeah posted...

Umm.....you know where babies come from, right?

Not trying to be a dick, but you kinda kneejerked here without thinking about the discussion going on.

You do know that similar situations happen with surrogates and IVF babies, right? The wrong sperm or egg is used and it's suddenly not related to the "correct " parent. Happens to same sex couples. Is that suddenly "not their kid" anymore?

IfGodCouldDie posted...

Jerry_Hellyeah posted...

Empathy is understanding that whatever the guy does is okay.

Hes not a piece of shit for leaving, but hed no doubt be a HERO to stay in the kid's life.

Im not saying he SHOULD leave, Im saying he has every right to do so without judgement. I doubt anyone in this thread including myself has had to feel a pain like this. Is there a deeper betrayal a human can suffer?

I agree, at no point have I spoken negatively about the guy in the op. My points have been directed at the people that so easily turn around and say that they would easily be able to drop the kid without a second thought.

And those people arent psychopaths, bastards, evil, heartless, or even irresponsible. They are humans that have suffered the ultimate betrayal. This isnt a choice between good and bad, its simply an opportunity to simply move past the darkness or to be a hero and make a huge sacrifice that shouldnt be EXPECTED.
---

The only people being shitty are the ones that think less of the guy who stays in the kids life. It doesnt extend beyond that.
---

Just. Yikes. I feel so bad for any children some of y'all might have. I wonder how they'd feel if they knew their dad's love for them was this conditional.

_Rinku_ posted...

You do know that similar situations happen with surrogates and IVF babies, right? The wrong sperm or egg is used and it's suddenly not related to the "correct " parent. Happens to same sex couples. Is that suddenly "not their kid" anymore?

Sjws always jump to the most extreme scenario that doesnt matter in practice

I dont believe this is a significant issue

---

_Rinku_ posted...

Jerry_Hellyeah posted...

Umm.....you know where babies come from, right?

Not trying to be a dick, but you kinda kneejerked here without thinking about the discussion going on.

You do know that similar situations happen with surrogates and IVF babies, right? The wrong sperm or egg is used and it's suddenly not related to the "correct " parent. Happens to same sex couples. Is that suddenly "not their kid" anymore?

1 - no, it isn't.
2 - that's not even the same situation as this, unless the 'mom' secretly swapped the sperm sample with someone else's.
---

darkjedilink posted...

_Rinku_ posted...

Jerry_Hellyeah posted...

Umm.....you know where babies come from, right?

Not trying to be a dick, but you kinda kneejerked here without thinking about the discussion going on.

You do know that similar situations happen with surrogates and IVF babies, right? The wrong sperm or egg is used and it's suddenly not related to the "correct " parent. Happens to same sex couples. Is that suddenly "not their kid" anymore?

1 - no, it isn't.
2 - that's not even the same situation as this, unless the 'mom' secretly swapped the sperm sample with someone else's.

It's comparable. Those people can suddenly find out that their child isn't biologically theirs, but that shouldn't change the bond between them. You can be mad at the third party (an unfaithful mother/the agency you used), but it's pretty low to take it on on the innocent child.