Current Events > Probably lost a friend today (at least until he gets sober)

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mattnd2007 06/04/19 1:39:19 PM #1:	Long story short he was doing outpatient, with the agreement that if he slipped and started drinking he'd go to inpatient. He's been drinking again, but of course he won't go. He's going to"try to do it himself". That's basically what outpatient already is. So we got in a huge fight over text. He basically hates me. Fuck --- Show me a man who resorts to violence and I'll show you a man who's run out of good ideas Phil Funnie <cite>mattnd2007 posted [p:922780039] in Probably l... [t:77761541]...</cite> <quote>Long story short he was doing outpatient, with the agreement that if he slipped and started drinking he'd go to inpatient. He's been drinking again, but of course he won't go. He's going to"try to do it himself". That's basically what outpatient already is. So we got in a huge fight over text. He basically hates me. Fuck</quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
Giant_Aspirin 06/04/19 1:40:25 PM #2:	i understand your concerns, but as a fellow alcoholic, you cannot force him to do anything and pushing on him will just drive him away, as you've seen. express concern without being a nag (which is hard) and be willing to help if he asks. --- Playing: Dragon Quest XI, Vermintide 2 I suppose it will all make sense when we grow up <cite>Giant_Aspirin posted [p:922780089] in Probably l... [t:77761541]...</cite> <quote>i understand your concerns, but as a fellow alcoholic, you cannot force him to do anything and pushing on him will just drive him away, as you've seen. express concern without being a nag (which is hard) and be willing to help if he asks.</quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
mattnd2007 06/04/19 1:44:14 PM #3:	Giant_Aspirin posted... be willing to help if he asks. This is about all I have left at this point. I'll be there for him. But to not hold him accountable for his own promise I'd be enabling him --- Show me a man who resorts to violence and I'll show you a man who's run out of good ideas Phil Funnie <cite>mattnd2007 posted [p:922780251] in Probably l... [t:77761541]...</cite> <quote><cite>Giant_Aspirin posted...</cite> <quote> be willing to help if he asks.</quote> This is about all I have left at this point. I'll be there for him. But to not hold him accountable for his own promise I'd be enabling him</quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
Unsugarized_Foo 06/04/19 1:45:44 PM #4:	Addicts usually got to feel disgusted with themselves before they change --- "All I have is my balls and my word, and I don't break them for anyone!"-Tony Montana <cite>Unsugarized_Foo posted [p:922780317] in Probably l... [t:77761541]...</cite> <quote>Addicts usually got to feel disgusted with themselves before they change</quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
HypnoCoosh 06/04/19 1:45:56 PM #5:	How bad was his drinking? --- "If the freedom of speech is taken away then dumb and silent we may be led, like sheep to the slaughter." George Washington <cite>HypnoCoosh posted [p:922780325] in Probably l... [t:77761541]...</cite> <quote>How bad was his drinking?</quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
Naysaspace 06/04/19 1:45:59 PM #6:	Hard truth: your confrontational nature, and the thought that you think it's "trying to help", is equally responsible for the deterioration of the friendship as the alcohol is. --- NHLB Saturday Picks: https://goo.gl/1MeMQg Saturday Picks Playoffs: https://1drv.ms/x/s!AmIZ0syZBSXdgUTWabLmmeLr3YJI <cite>Naysaspace posted [p:922780331] in Probably l... [t:77761541]...</cite> <quote>Hard truth: your confrontational nature, and the thought that you think it's "trying to help", is equally responsible for the deterioration of the friendship as the alcohol is.</quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
mattnd2007 06/04/19 1:46:58 PM #7:	Hell it was a signed court order. But according to his mom his addiction counselor said somehow it wasn't filled out properly so it's not binding. He won't even talk about the order. Wondering if his mom is lying to save face or something. --- Show me a man who resorts to violence and I'll show you a man who's run out of good ideas Phil Funnie <cite>mattnd2007 posted [p:922780379] in Probably l... [t:77761541]...</cite> <quote>Hell it was a signed court order. But according to his mom his addiction counselor said somehow it wasn't filled out properly so it's not binding. He won't even talk about the order. Wondering if his mom is lying to save face or something.</quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
mattnd2007 06/04/19 1:47:43 PM #8:	HypnoCoosh posted... How bad was his drinking? When we convinced him to actually go for detox last time it was 0.24 at the hospital. Who knows how bad it was at peak --- Show me a man who resorts to violence and I'll show you a man who's run out of good ideas Phil Funnie <cite>mattnd2007 posted [p:922780428] in Probably l... [t:77761541]...</cite> <quote><cite>HypnoCoosh posted...</cite> <quote>How bad was his drinking?</quote> When we convinced him to actually go for detox last time it was 0.24 at the hospital. Who knows how bad it was at peak</quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
Giant_Aspirin 06/04/19 1:47:48 PM #9:	mattnd2007 posted... But to not hold him accountable for his own promise I'd be enabling him relapses / set backs are part of all addicts' road to recovery. none of us get there on the first try. Unsugarized_Foo posted... Addicts usually got to feel disgusted with themselves before they change correct. we will not change until we are ready. --- Playing: Dragon Quest XI, Vermintide 2 I suppose it will all make sense when we grow up <cite>Giant_Aspirin posted [p:922780436] in Probably l... [t:77761541]...</cite> <quote><cite>mattnd2007 posted...</cite> <quote>But to not hold him accountable for his own promise I'd be enabling him</quote> relapses / set backs are part of all addicts' road to recovery. none of us get there on the first try. <cite>Unsugarized_Foo posted...</cite> <quote>Addicts usually got to feel disgusted with themselves before they change</quote> correct. we will not change until we are ready.</quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
Old NoiseTank 06/04/19 1:48:05 PM #10:	being supportive is all you can do. --- Grim Reaper: "Your time has come" Xsquader: "sir whats your badge number?" <cite>Old NoiseTank posted [p:922780449] in Probably l... [t:77761541]...</cite> <quote>being supportive is all you can do.</quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
mattnd2007 06/04/19 1:48:08 PM #11:	Naysaspace posted... Hard truth: your confrontational nature, and the thought that you think it's "trying to help", is equally responsible for the deterioration of the friendship as the alcohol is. Probably. But I'd tried Mr nice guy last time. Got me nowhere. --- Show me a man who resorts to violence and I'll show you a man who's run out of good ideas Phil Funnie <cite>mattnd2007 posted [p:922780450] in Probably l... [t:77761541]...</cite> <quote><cite>Naysaspace posted...</cite> <quote>Hard truth: your confrontational nature, and the thought that you think it's "trying to help", is equally responsible for the deterioration of the friendship as the alcohol is.</quote> Probably. But I'd tried Mr nice guy last time. Got me nowhere.</quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
TheGreatGeno326 06/04/19 1:49:19 PM #12:	Giant_Aspirin posted... i understand your concerns, but as a fellow alcoholic, you cannot force him to do anything and pushing on him will just drive him away, as you've seen. express concern without being a nag (which is hard) and be willing to help if he asks. Naysaspace posted... Hard truth: your confrontational nature, and the thought that you think it's "trying to help", is equally responsible for the deterioration of the friendship as the alcohol is. These. You're just making it worse. --- Formerly Known as Genocet_10-325 Conservatism is a plague on society. <cite>TheGreatGeno326 posted [p:922780500] in Probably l... [t:77761541]...</cite> <quote><cite>Giant_Aspirin posted...</cite> <quote>i understand your concerns, but as a fellow alcoholic, you cannot force him to do anything and pushing on him will just drive him away, as you've seen. express concern without being a nag (which is hard) and be willing to help if he asks.</quote> <cite>Naysaspace posted...</cite> <quote>Hard truth: your confrontational nature, and the thought that you think it's "trying to help", is equally responsible for the deterioration of the friendship as the alcohol is.</quote> These. You're just making it worse.</quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
Giant_Aspirin 06/04/19 1:49:22 PM #13:	mattnd2007 posted... When we convinced him to actually go for detox it was 0.24 at the hospital. when i was being processed for inpatient my BAC was 0.26 at like 1:00 PM. my last drink was before i went to sleep that morning around 2. i was putting down about a 750mL of 40% a day. --- Playing: Dragon Quest XI, Vermintide 2 I suppose it will all make sense when we grow up <cite>Giant_Aspirin posted [p:922780503] in Probably l... [t:77761541]...</cite> <quote><cite>mattnd2007 posted...</cite> <quote>When we convinced him to actually go for detox it was 0.24 at the hospital.</quote> when i was being processed for inpatient my BAC was 0.26 at like 1:00 PM. my last drink was before i went to sleep that morning around 2. i was putting down about a 750mL of 40% a day.</quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
mattnd2007 06/04/19 1:50:05 PM #14:	He drinks a 1.75 of shitty rum a day --- Show me a man who resorts to violence and I'll show you a man who's run out of good ideas Phil Funnie <cite>mattnd2007 posted [p:922780544] in Probably l... [t:77761541]...</cite> <quote>He drinks a 1.75 of shitty rum a day</quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
mattnd2007 06/04/19 1:51:10 PM #15:	Sailor Jerry's --- Show me a man who resorts to violence and I'll show you a man who's run out of good ideas Phil Funnie <cite>mattnd2007 posted [p:922780592] in Probably l... [t:77761541]...</cite> <quote>Sailor Jerry's</quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
TheGreatGeno326 06/04/19 1:51:45 PM #16:	mattnd2007 posted... Naysaspace posted... Hard truth: your confrontational nature, and the thought that you think it's "trying to help", is equally responsible for the deterioration of the friendship as the alcohol is. Probably. But I'd tried Mr nice guy last time. Got me nowhere. Guess what, you can't control what he does. Being nice or being a dick won't affect anything in regards to his addiction, but being a dick guarentees your friendship will end. --- Formerly Known as Genocet_10-325 Conservatism is a plague on society. <cite>TheGreatGeno326 posted [p:922780615] in Probably l... [t:77761541]...</cite> <quote><cite>mattnd2007 posted...</cite> <quote><cite>Naysaspace posted...</cite> <quote>Hard truth: your confrontational nature, and the thought that you think it's "trying to help", is equally responsible for the deterioration of the friendship as the alcohol is.</quote> Probably. But I'd tried Mr nice guy last time. Got me nowhere.</quote> Guess what, you can't control what he does. Being nice or being a dick won't affect anything in regards to his addiction, but being a dick guarentees your friendship will end.</quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
mattnd2007 06/04/19 1:52:55 PM #17:	I did a welfare check on him. But like all good alcoholics he's great at lying. He was suicidal last time, and he owns a handgun. But he talked his way out of the welfare check by saying he was fine. Cops hands are kinda tied unless he actually tells the truth. --- Show me a man who resorts to violence and I'll show you a man who's run out of good ideas Phil Funnie <cite>mattnd2007 posted [p:922780664] in Probably l... [t:77761541]...</cite> <quote>I did a welfare check on him. But like all good alcoholics he's great at lying. He was suicidal last time, and he owns a handgun. But he talked his way out of the welfare check by saying he was fine. Cops hands are kinda tied unless he actually tells the truth.</quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
mattnd2007 06/04/19 1:53:26 PM #18:	TheGreatGeno326 posted... mattnd2007 posted... Naysaspace posted... Hard truth: your confrontational nature, and the thought that you think it's "trying to help", is equally responsible for the deterioration of the friendship as the alcohol is. Probably. But I'd tried Mr nice guy last time. Got me nowhere. Guess what, you can't control what he does. Being nice or being a dick won't affect anything in regards to his addiction, but being a dick guarentees your friendship will end. You're probably right --- Show me a man who resorts to violence and I'll show you a man who's run out of good ideas Phil Funnie <cite>mattnd2007 posted [p:922780687] in Probably l... [t:77761541]...</cite> <quote><cite>TheGreatGeno326 posted...</cite> <quote><cite>mattnd2007 posted...</cite> <quote><cite>Naysaspace posted...</cite> <quote>Hard truth: your confrontational nature, and the thought that you think it's "trying to help", is equally responsible for the deterioration of the friendship as the alcohol is.</quote> Probably. But I'd tried Mr nice guy last time. Got me nowhere.</quote> Guess what, you can't control what he does. Being nice or being a dick won't affect anything in regards to his addiction, but being a dick guarentees your friendship will end.</quote> You're probably right</quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
Doe 06/04/19 1:53:26 PM #19:	I'm with TC on this --- https://i.imgtc.com/e2dtpfR.jpg https://i.imgtc.com/oVB3sDe.jpg <cite>Doe posted [p:922780688] in Probably l... [t:77761541]...</cite> <quote>I'm with TC on this</quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
mattnd2007 06/04/19 6:32:04 PM #20:	In case anyone was curious, an update. He has asked that myself and a good mutual friend cut contact. We are going to honor his wishes. We have told him we'll be here for him if/when he's ready --- Show me a man who resorts to violence and I'll show you a man who's run out of good ideas Phil Funnie <cite>mattnd2007 posted [p:922791865] in Probably l... [t:77761541]...</cite> <quote>In case anyone was curious, an update. He has asked that myself and a good mutual friend cut contact. We are going to honor his wishes. We have told him we'll be here for him if/when he's ready</quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
mattnd2007 06/04/19 6:32:59 PM #21:	And you don't need to "I told you so" I half expected it(closer to 3/4 expected it, but that isn't an expression) --- Show me a man who resorts to violence and I'll show you a man who's run out of good ideas Phil Funnie <cite>mattnd2007 posted [p:922791904] in Probably l... [t:77761541]...</cite> <quote>And you don't need to "I told you so" I half expected it(closer to 3/4 expected it, but that isn't an expression)</quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
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Current Events > Probably lost a friend today (at least until he gets sober) (+) Yeah! (+)

Current Events > Probably lost a friend today (at least until he gets sober)