Current Events > CYOA: Your life is now operating under porno rules

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teepan95 posted...

B then C

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Up
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B
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I'll update later, long weekend at work trying not to think <_<
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Update in a bit
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B) Beat him with the baton, you are not okay with this

This man is ruining the moment for you. You take the officer's baton and start beating him with it. At first he cries in pain, but then horror crosses your face. He starts to enjoy it. He lets loose a massive load, you manage to roll out of the car and avoid it. The police car is drenched in jizzum. It's so thick you can no longer see the man inside the car, only his seed and what appears to be cheeto powder.

You look down and find the officer has stopped having sex with you. She is instead crying. She's traumatized and is no longer in the mood.

What do you do?
A) Take the officer back to your car
B) Go beat the weirdo for ruining things
C) You really need to get Jessica to class
D) Try and get the officer back in the mood
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A

AC
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This has been quite the ride, I definitely enjoyed Kates warning. More poetic than Gandalf.

teepan95 posted...

AC

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teepan95 posted...

AC

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teepan95 posted...

AC

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A) Take the officer back to your car
C) You really need to get Jessica to class

You know the mood is ruined, but you can salvage it later. You put your arms around the crying officer and walk her to you car. As fun as things have been, you've forgotten the important thing, getting Jessica to class. You look at the clock, it's already 7:40. You look to the still unconscious Jessica and then to the officer. You gun it towards the school, it's a ten minute drive, but you can make it in five if you ignore the rules of the road. You can get away with it because you have an officer in your backseat.

You can see the school up ahead, but as you pull into the parking lot you see the flashing lights of a police car. The windows are covered in semen crust. It's him, the man from before, he followed you.

What do you do?
A) Ignore him, get Jessica to class
B) This dude is dangerous, get out of there, Jessica will understand
C) Ram your car into his
D) Grab the officer's gun
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CD
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CD
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C) Ram your car into his
D) Grab the officer's gun

You stop the car. You had a great morning that most people would kill for, but something about this man terrifies you to your very core. You've never known evil until you heard his grunts. You turn to the officer.
"Ma'm, I need to ask you two very important favors." she nods her head. "First I need your gun. More importantly, I need you to get Jessica to class."

You take a breath as the officer closes the door behind her, Jessica propped up on her back like Yoda, only she's a fully grown woman and not some force midget. The officer extends looks to you and smiles.
"I still have to take you in when this is over." she says hopeful you'll come back from this alive.
"I'm looking forward to it." you reply as she offers you her hand.
"Cruz, Officer Jenny Cruz."
"Dick, Dick Cheeks." you shake her hand.
"God speed Mr. Cheeks. God speed." she takes off in a mild jog with Jessica on her back, Jenny's boobies bounce with each step, but now is no time to admire her breasts. You turn your attention to the police car, you can see the creep smiling beyond the fogged up window. You can see his arm jerking, it disgusts you.

You rev your engine and say a quick prayer, you don't believe in God but when confronted with the devil what is a man to do. You defy American engineering and push your Ford Focus beyond its limits. You can feel the overheating engine as you approach speed records. You let loose a warrior's death scream that the city will one day refer to as the orgasm roar.

An explosion rocks the city, metal rains from the sky. The force of the crash ejects you from the car. You fly through the windshield and sit among the fiery wreckage of the two cars. The explosion caught a nearby powerline, the school's parking lot burns around you. Car alarms fill your ears, you back yourself up against a nearby car, your right leg is cut up bad, you can't run. You hear screams of passerbyers unfortunate enough to be caught in the explosion. Yet through the chaos one sound dominates your ears.
*Fap fap fap*
The creep emerges from the burning police car, dick in hand. He inhales the fumes and beats it faster. He makes his way towards you, one step at a time. You reach into your pocket and pull out Officer Cruz's gun. You start firing. The bullets sink into his flesh but he keeps moving.

What do you do?
A) He's unstoppable, put the gun to your head, it's the only way out
B) You have to escape, steal a car
C) Shoot him in the dick
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C then B

I dont want this story to end. (Although I have a suspicion A could lead somewhere unexpected.)
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Shablagoo posted...

C then B

I dont want this story to end. (Although I have a suspicion A could lead somewhere unexpected.)

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Eevee-Trainer posted...

Shablagoo posted...

C then B

I dont want this story to end. (Although I have a suspicion A could lead somewhere unexpected.)

Thirded. The line about the mods not liking the possible incest was pure fucking gold.

C) Shoot him in the dick
B) You have to escape, steal a car


You don't know what to do, then it hits you. You start firing away at his dick. He flinches momentarily, but he keeps beating away and a bloody stump. Then before your very eyes you see his dick reform. You can't stop him, not now. You look to the car propping you up. You force yourself up and break open the window. You fire another shot at the creep's dick and make your way into the car while he flinches. You quickly youtube "how to hotwire a car" and start driving. You don't know where you're going, but you have to get away. You can hear his laughter as you drive off, he walks forward.

You drive on the freeway until you run out of gas. You pull over into a nearby town and the nearest parking lot, a Denny's. You've been driving for six hours, your leg is numb but the cuts are healing. You look in the backseat and find a set of golf clubs. You grab one and use it as a makeshift cane. You get out of the car and look around.

What do you do?
A) Start walking, you need to keep moving
B) You need medical attention, call an ambulance
C) You're hungry, go to Denny's
D) You need gas to keep driving, ask for a ride
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That's the last update for right now, I need to get some sleep lol
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B

Denny's can wait. Need to be healthy to keep living that porno life.

C
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pfh1001 posted...

The line about the mods not liking the possible incest was pure fucking gold.

agreed lmao
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BC

Call an ambulance, wait at Denny's
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Bump
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C
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teepan95 posted...

BC

Call an ambulance, wait at Denny's

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Eevee-Trainer posted...

teepan95 posted...

BC

Call an ambulance, wait at Denny's

teepan95 posted...

BC

Call an ambulance, wait at Denny's

Changing mine to this
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B) You need medical attention, call an ambulance
C) You're hungry, go to Denny's

You hobble out of the car and sigh. Your body is shooting in pain, you didn't really feel anything until now, the stress and fear must have distracted you. You decide it's best to call an ambulance. You pull out your phone, the battery is low, you have a few missed calls from Jessica. You call an ambulance and tell them your location, a Denny's.

You still haven't eaten, well aside from that moment with Kate, but real food not fish. You head into Denny's and order some all you can eat pancakes, you pull out your wallet and find it's In ruins from the explosion. You don't have any money, the waitress is coming over to you.

What do you do?
A) Explain the situation and see if there's any other way to pay for the meal
B)Ask for some water to stall until the ambulance arrives
C) Just leave, you need to keep moving
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A, duh

This is porno rules-- there's definitely a better way to pay for the meal.

A
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A
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pfh1001 posted...

A, duh

This is porno rules-- there's definitely a better way to pay for the meal.

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Grab the duct tape!

A

CM_Ponch posted...

You still haven't eaten, well aside from that moment with Kate, but real food not fish.

Brilliant
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pfh1001 posted...

A, duh

This is porno rules-- there's definitely a better way to pay for the meal.

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pfh1001 posted...

A, duh

This is porno rules-- there's definitely a better way to pay for the meal.

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Bump
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I'm going to start putting spoilers over the "ahem <_<" parts to avoid moderations <_<

A) Explain the situation and see if there's any other way to pay for the meal

The waitress comes over and hands you the bill. Your face tightens as you suck in air.
"This is kind of embarrassing, I know its only four dollars, but I seem to have lost my wallet." the waitress rolls her eyes.
"Hold on, let me go talk to my manager." her valley girl voice awakens something in you. She walks towards the kitchen, her ass is begging for a tip.

An large buff, bald, and bearded man walks out of the kitchen alongside the waitress. His voice is surprisingly gentle.
"So Rachel here tells me that you lost your wallet?" he says somewhat condescendingly.
"Yeah, it's kind of a crazy story. There was this guy chasing me and there was this whole thing with a cop and then her car, and the mom and daughter, but not Jessica." the manager and Rachel look at you confused.
"Okay, well we don't normally do this, but under these special circumstances we can work something else. Rachel, why don't you guide him into my office.

Rachel leads you to the managers office.
"You know this doesn't happen often." Rachel says as she takes off her apron. She starts unbuttoning her top. She takes off her shirt and throws it over your head, she turns off the lights and makes her way over to you. You feel her grinding on your lap, her ass is firmer than you remember. You reach to move her top from your head so you can see, but she tells you it's funner this way. She runs her hands down your chest before coming to your belt. She starts kissing your abs as she unbuckles your belt. Something is wrong, her kisses tickle you in an itchy way. You try to remove the top from your head but she holds it down, she's stronger than she seems.
"I'm not so sure about this anymore, maybe I can do dishes or something." there's no response, only a lick. You feel strange, like something is nuzzling your lower body. You manage to wiggle your head free. It's dark but you understand why they tried to obscure your vision. The manager is about to have some all you can eat dick.

What do you do?
A) Fuck it, keep going, earn those pancakes
B) Yoooooo, you've got nothing against the gay community and even have some gay friends but this is wrong
C) Kick him in the face and run
D) Convince Rachel to join
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D

D
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Wait I'm confused by that part of the story but D
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D

CM_Ponch posted...

I'm going to start putting spoilers over the "ahem <_<" parts to avoid moderations <_<

I don't think that prevents moderations. >_>
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CD
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C

Eevee-Trainer posted...

I don't think that prevents moderations. >_>

I know, I just wanted to hide the surprise <_<
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d
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Update later
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Update tomorrow, busy weekend at work
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