Current Events > anyone on ce lose a parent? how long does this pain last

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lost my dad on the second of the month and whenever i'm alone with my thoughts it takes everything in me to not fixate on the image of him lying in the hallway or slumped over on my brother's shoulder or being carried out by the emts and them having trouble getting him out the door or how i wasted our last moments together or how if i knew cpr maybe i could've done something or a million other things
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Lasts forever :(
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never goes away
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fuck
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I lost my father a while ago, we were never that close, less so after ran out on us. I felt nothing from his death. I suppose it depends on how much you care for them.
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Next month will be 20 years since I lost my mom. I was 13 when she passed. It still hurts, but it isn't as bad as then.

Sorry to hear that, TC. I still have my parents but my father in law died a few years ago. I got along with him well but wasnt super close and it definitely isnt the same as losing my own, but obviously I was right there as my wife went through. Sounds similar-ish to your situation. It bothered me as well to be sure but my wife was really, really haunted by those final images, even down to how she wished she knew CPR and maybe he couldve been saved. Plus the image of seeing him lying there and the EMTs coming in and I remember they set him down right in front of the entertainment center in our living room (happened when the in-laws were visiting us) to readjust how they were moving him.

It got better but the first year in particular were really rough. Even now she had some bad days but they get farther and farther apartbeen harder lately with Christmas coming and tomorrow will be out daughters first birthday, she really wishes he couldve met his grand daughter.
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Lost my brother to suicide about 6 years ago. The pain is always going to be there, but it does cease over time and becomes more tolerable.
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My mother died a few years back. I didn't really get that kind of severe emotional pain, because we weren't really close though. Sorry I can't help you.
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I'm so sorry :( if there's anything I can, please let me know
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You'll never "get over it", but you will learn to live with it and life will go on. You will do them proud by living your life well.

It will always hurt, but it will get easier if you focus on the good times. I loved my dad more than anyone. He died when I was 13, heart attack. It was just him and I at home, my name was his last word as it was happening. I panicked and instead of calling 911, I called my mum from work. I just couldn't think of anything else to do. I always think what would have happened if I called 911 instead, and blame myself for his death. I'm 25 now and haven't told anyone that I feel that way.
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Focus on good memories, the bad will consume you if you let them--for a time anyway. Celebrate his life, and all he did, rather than mourn his death. How I got over mine.

solosnake posted...

Lasts forever :(

This sadly

It gets easier to cope with, but it never stops
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It never goes away but it does get easier. It's been 2 years since my dad passed and I miss him terribly but at the same time the small things that used to set me off into sadness don't do that anymore.
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I havent lost any of my parents, but I have anxiety about the day this happens.
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I feel like an outlier. One parent I wasn't very close to/fond of, and one parent I hated, so their deaths didn't really affect me emotionally.
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This year it's been 5 years since my dad passed away, and it still hurts
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My estranged father passed earlier this year. Never met him, but I do loathe the son of a bitch for cutting me out of the Pibb fortune and my rightful inheritance.
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Thaddeus_J_Pibb posted...

My estranged father passed earlier this year. Never met him, but I do loathe the son of a bitch for cutting me out of the Pibb fortune and my rightful inheritance.

lol this fucking gimmick
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ITT: Emo world

008Zulu posted...

I suppose it depends on how much you care for them.

all due respect, fucking duh. sorry for your loss tc. I hope I'm dead and gone before I lose my mom, i don't know how i could possibly cope otherwise
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juicebox4 posted...

008Zulu posted...

I suppose it depends on how much you care for them.

all due respect, fucking duh. sorry for your loss tc. I hope I'm dead and gone before I lose my mom, i don't know how i could possibly cope otherwise

Think about your mom would feel little guy
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It gets easier, but it always sucks. My mother passed 5 years ago, and my old man went last month. You'll learn to adapt to a new normal eventually.

As for the guilt you feel; don't. I beat myself up for years because I wasn't stricter on my mom about managing her diabetes, making her go to the doctor sooner, etc. You can ruminate on it forever, but at the end of the day life is just a web of choices we make that are neither right or wrong, they just are. You wouldn't have been able to keep them alive forever, so please don't blame yourself in any way for them passing when they did.
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My condolences
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MarqueeSeries posted...

It gets easier, but it always sucks. My mother passed 5 years ago, and my old man went last month. You'll learn to adapt to a new normal eventually.

As for the guilt you feel; don't. I beat myself up for years because I wasn't stricter on my mom about managing her diabetes, making her go to the doctor sooner, etc. You can ruminate on it forever, but at the end of the day life is just a web of choices we make that are neither right or wrong, they just are. You wouldn't have been able to keep them alive forever, so please don't blame yourself in any way for them passing when they did.

im really sorry to hear that marquee :(
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CPR doesn't work like it does on TV shows. It has a low chance.
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