Poll of the Day > Would you say you had a happy adolescence or upbringing?

(+) Yeah! (+)

I watched a video where it argues that people who had a painful upbringing will do better in the long run than people than who had it easy growing up. Here it is:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zcUI1Hk0GRU" data-time="

Personally, my adolescence was a nightmare. What say you?

Nothing empirical suggests trauma is good for a person later in life. Hardship is fine, but happiness is almost always a positive in the short and long term.
At best it'll make the person more appreciative if they had hardship. But having a hard upbringing isn't the same as having an unhappy upbringing.

No. My mom never put me in school and didn't let me go anywhere and try to make friends, so I've been doing the same thing every day from 13 to 21, which is pretty much nothing besides eat and watch youtube. I'm stupid, depressed and lonely.
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yeah, bro. my dad like bought me everything.
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I can understand that coddling a kid will lead to improper behaviors, and that overcoming hardships can build character - but neither of those things are tied to happiness

That's just a preliminary guess on the content of the video, will watch later.
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It wasnt perfect but any complaining I could do would be wasteful as I had two loving parents and a hell of a lot more than most get.

Not as happy as my child hood but if I could change that era of my life I wouldn't change much.
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Yeah. I had great friends and family. It was super fun. Probably some of the happiest times of my life. I wish I could go back sometimes.
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It was neither particularly happy nor unhappy. It was very much middle of the road.

ASlaveObeys posted...

Nothing empirical suggests trauma is good for a person later in life.

This, pretty much.
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Pft, no. Being an outcast at school and bullied constantly was awful. Coming home to my dad beating my mom and threatening to kill me just for existing was worse. I was never allowed to have a life outside of school, and I couldn't build one there either. Whenever I'd even just go to church I'd come home to him with a gun and an interrogation of where I was and what I was doing. My life felt like a prison until I was about 23, I was never allowed any freedom, and was basically forced to just live in my room and avoid everyone at all costs. Something I'm still struggling to work through to this day. There's no other way to describe it than just misery.

Luckily things did improve over the last 12 years or so, but not by enough to ever claim I've had a happy life at all.
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I certainly didn't have a great upbringing but it wasn't all terrible and I enjoyed my childhood for the most part. From the age I left school at 16 though "upbringing" doesn't really matter as I was working and doing my own thing so.
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VioletMassacre posted...

The exact age span you chose was the worst period of my life. Almost everything before and after that was/is much better. A majority of it were just mental stuff so it could've been much worse, but it's a lot I would change if I could.

Almost the same for me as several years of that age group I battled depression but I had enough fun here and there to counter act that. Most depressing but second most fun period of my life.
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Age 13-early 16 was awesome (outside of my grandpa dying), the rest of age 16-17 can go die in a fire and I guess 18-20 was alright-ish. Was still dealing with some things, though. Glad most of it is now in the past.

Hahahaha; no.
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That was pretty nice, and it almost got me, but no. That's just poetry from someone who wants to make peace with their trauma. He pulls up a couple anecdotes, but no statistics or evidence.

https://www.theschooloflife.com/thebookoflife/the-importance-of-being-an-unhappy-teenager/

No sources or statistics, a lot of on the spot conclusions. Popular for making people happy.

Anyone who's really been broken knows you're really just broken, and you're no better off for it. Pessimism is missing from a lot of these popular YouTube channels. It makes me think of a secular religion... funny, because

https://www.theschooloflife.com/thebookoflife/what-is-the-book-of-life/

I'm cold-hearted, you could chisel that thing if you had an anti-matter pickaxe.

13 to 21 was hell and 22-current is livable, thank you for asking. I keep my memories around, but they're away in the attic somewhere for a reason.

My adolescence was pretty good actually after having a pretty fucked up childhood
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14-18 were unquestionably the worst years of my life, but they weren't bad by any objective measure. I was probably as happy as I could reasonably have been.
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I don't think I agree with the video much. But I guess it can help some people work through things. I just personally don't agree...
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Yup.
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No. My mom prioritized her career over our wishes so instead of staying in Florida where I was happy, we moved to Kansas. I hated it. Finally got used to it and made some good friends, then two years in she yanked the rug under us and made us move to Pittsburgh. I met my SO here and made a life here but I genuinely think that having to adapt repeatedly, and having friends disappear from my life repeatedly really did some emotional damage that has gotten in the way of my life.
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I honestly can say I had a great childhood growing up. My parents were not wealthy and in fact they both worked blue collar jobs dad at GM and mom at Phillip Morris but they always made sure we had a roof over our head food and clothes and they never splurged or overspent because we lived within our means financially.

That was the lesson most often taught in our home and that was living within your means.

Sure, it was fine. There were bad things that happened but I am not going to blame my parents. They were people too trying to do what was best for the family although my self centered, teenaged brain didn't see it that way. School wasn't the best, I had some bad times and things went bad with other kids, picking on, bullying etc. But again, we were all pretty self centered at that age period and I am sure I seemed to have been one of the bad guys to someone else.

It isn't the greatest age to be and we still learn hard lessons then.
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The way I was treated in school by so-called peers sucked big, fat donkey balls, but everything else was alright.
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Hmm. Just because you have good upbringing doesn't mean you were happy during those years. My parents were very kind to me, but I still managed to put a lot of stress on myself. So, I wasn't super happy, but I wouldn't blame my upbringing on that.
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Yellow posted...

That was pretty nice, and it almost got me, but no. That's just poetry from someone who wants to make peace with their trauma. He pulls up a couple anecdotes, but no statistics or evidence.

https://www.theschooloflife.com/thebookoflife/the-importance-of-being-an-unhappy-teenager/

No sources or statistics, a lot of on the spot conclusions. Popular for making people happy.

Anyone who's really been broken knows you're really just broken, and you're no better off for it. Pessimism is missing from a lot of these popular YouTube channels. It makes me think of a secular religion... funny, because

https://www.theschooloflife.com/thebookoflife/what-is-the-book-of-life/

That's exactly what it claims to be.

I'm cold-hearted, you could chisel that thing if you had an anti-matter pickaxe.

I still vastly prefer this to 2018 PragerU or Steven Crowder propaganda.

I want to make peace with my trauma, so if something helps guide me in the right direction, then I don't need to look at evidence or statistics. I trust my judgement enough, I am the judge of what works for me and what doesn't. I don't need to look left and right at what works for other people. I'm trying to elevate myself, trying to elevate the whole world with me would be rather tiring, don't you think? Wisdom and knowledge are not the same.

You want some statistics and evidence? Look to see if pessimism is a healthy trait in a person. I do agree however that what is broken cannot be fixed, because the truly broken are so proud of themselves and dead-set on their ways that they cannot change.

"I'm cold-hearted, you could chisel that thing if you had an anti-matter pickaxe." What do you mean by this?

That's fine, but I could give two shits about being happy if it means I'm wrong about something.

It's like those inspirational quotes on Facebook. I'm lukewarm about psychology in the first place, but this isn't even backed by psychology. It's just poetry.

Well I for one am an amateur poet, so I gravitate towards things that can inspire me. As I said, wisdom and knowledge are not the same thing. I don't care to know everything, but I do care that what i know is beautiful. I've learned that the more I know, the less happy I feel. Truth is simple, it's people that overcomplicate it. You sound like you would do well in a socialist setting, which is ok too.

minervo posted...

You sound like you would do well in a socialist setting

Thank you, I guess. You would do well living in the Soviet Union, probably better than most.

The only time in that period I wasnt happy was the semester I spent at university, and even that wasnt that bad.
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Yellow posted...

minervo posted...

You sound like you would do well in a socialist setting

Thank you, I guess. You would do well living in the Soviet Union or Nazi Germany, probably better than most.

lol

My adolescence sucked. The video is kinda stupid. Most who suffer end up depressed or with anxiety. I was lucky in that my 20s were significantly better.
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