Current Events > ITT we summarize video games in the worst possible way

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Coffeebeanz
06/27/18 10:05:59 AM
#1:


Pokemon Red/Blue: Ten year old is irresponsibly let loose by single mother, tasked by mad scientist to catch dangerous animals in the woods and dark caves. Inadvertently topples huge terrorist organization and gambling ring. Goes to nine different gyms within 20 hours. Beats up youngsters and takes their money just for looking at him.
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Physician [Internal Medicine]
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LightningAce11
06/27/18 10:07:04 AM
#2:


Person wants to cure their sickness but end up fighting werewolves and aliens, finally turning into a slug.
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"I'm an atheist too but still believe in hell. That's where you're headed pal." - Mr_Karate_II
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Squall28
06/27/18 10:09:16 AM
#3:


Any open world game: Running around simulator
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If you're going through hell, keep going.
-Winston Churchill
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Coffeebeanz
06/27/18 10:11:27 AM
#4:


LightningAce11 posted...
Person wants to cure their sickness but end up fighting werewolves and aliens, finally turning into a slug.


You forgot Cthulhu
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Physician [Internal Medicine]
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Turbam
06/27/18 10:14:12 AM
#5:


Dancer goes on a quest to save a village, later becomes a pirate
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~snip (V)_(;,;)_(V) snip~
I'm just one man! Whoa! Well, I'm a one man band! https://imgur.com/p9Xvjvs
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LinksLiege
06/27/18 10:16:59 AM
#6:


Myst: Reading Rainbow's gritty reboot.
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This is LinksLiege's signature. It is fantastic.
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DrizztLink
06/27/18 10:18:16 AM
#7:


Half Life: Guy has ONE JOB TO DO, fucks everything up forever
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DevsBro
06/27/18 10:34:39 AM
#8:


MGS:

Jean-Claude Van Damme fights a Gundam.
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Dr_Agon
06/27/18 10:36:25 AM
#9:


Turbam posted...
Dancer goes on a quest to save a village, later becomes a pirate


Shantae?
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Don't fear the eyes of the Dark Lord.
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Coffeebeanz
06/27/18 10:39:32 AM
#10:


Doom: Hell proves to be an impractical energy source.
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Physician [Internal Medicine]
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HiddenLurker
06/27/18 10:48:39 AM
#11:


Mario 1: Guy that claims to be a plumber goes from castle to castle stomping or burning stuff to death. In the castle he kills all but 1 of the inhabitants thus leaving a survivor to spread his deeds.
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[Insert tired meme here]
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Coffeebeanz
06/27/18 10:51:20 AM
#12:


Tetris: Faulty Soviet architecture falls to the ground in pieces. Your job is to make it as orderly as possible.
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Physician [Internal Medicine]
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CyricZ
06/27/18 10:52:20 AM
#13:


Beyond Good & Evil: Paparazzi destabilizes strong leadership for personal gain.

Zero Escape: Disease prevention and control through death games

Portal: Data entry
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CyricZ
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skimmedmilk
06/27/18 10:53:26 AM
#14:


Turbam posted...
Dancer goes on a quest to save a village, later becomes a pirate

game name?
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DevsBro
06/27/18 10:55:11 AM
#15:


Ecco the Dolphin: A dolphin fights off an alien invssion
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DK9292
06/27/18 10:57:00 AM
#16:


Manlet boxer fights above his weight class, takes down a bunch of blatant cheaters, becomes the best boxer in the world.
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Don't bring up K. Rool around me.
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CyricZ
06/27/18 10:57:04 AM
#17:


Danganronpa: World's biggest sociology class

LEGO Anything: Popular fiction contracts massive plague of body horror

Yakuza: Crime proven a noble and just pursuit
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CyricZ
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davyheinz
06/27/18 10:57:06 AM
#18:


Golden Sun: children go on an adventure to turn up the sun, and they do this by visiting landmarks and enslaving creatures based on planets in the solar system.
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Currently playing: Strider, Jet Force Gemini, Psychonauts, Final Fantasy III, Red Dead Redemption
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Mr_Biscuit
06/27/18 10:57:45 AM
#19:


Dude kills big things to become a big thing then is a baby
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DevsBro
06/27/18 10:59:08 AM
#20:


Mr_Biscuit posted...
Dude kills big things to become a big thing then is a baby

The ending really did make zero sense, even if you played Ico.
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Sephiroth1288
06/27/18 11:00:18 AM
#21:


Stellaris: Hitler simulator
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The person who writes for fools is always sure of a large audience.
Friend Code: 2723-9696-7248
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DK9292
06/27/18 11:01:22 AM
#22:


Magical cock-fighting simulator.
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Don't bring up K. Rool around me.
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Mr_Biscuit
06/27/18 11:01:24 AM
#23:


DevsBro posted...
Mr_Biscuit posted...
Dude kills big things to become a big thing then is a baby

The ending really did make zero sense, even if you played Ico.

Well... it made sense until the baby part, at least...

Also wtf are my girl and my gimp-ass horse supposed to do now
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Turbam
06/27/18 11:02:26 AM
#24:


Dr_Agon posted...
Shantae

Yup

skimmedmilk posted...
game name?

Shantae and the Pirates Curse
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~snip (V)_(;,;)_(V) snip~
I'm just one man! Whoa! Well, I'm a one man band! https://imgur.com/p9Xvjvs
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DevsBro
06/27/18 11:03:07 AM
#25:


Mr_Biscuit posted...
DevsBro posted...
Mr_Biscuit posted...
Dude kills big things to become a big thing then is a baby

The ending really did make zero sense, even if you played Ico.

Well... it made sense until the baby part, at least...

Also wtf are my girl and my gimp-ass horse supposed to do now

I like how she's just like "cool a baby guess I'm a mom now"
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Trigg3rH4ppy
06/27/18 11:03:13 AM
#26:


Tree hugging terrorist organization blows up power plant, murders dozens of employees in the process, then sets out to destabilize the world's only stable power supply
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~A little nonsense, now and then, is relished by the wisest men ~
TWSSted since~ 3/27/12 https://imgur.com/zlaENmx
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davyheinz
06/27/18 11:03:14 AM
#27:


Jet Set Radio Future: Humans with wheels attached to their feet try to set the city free by vandalizing most of it and harassing the police force.
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Currently playing: Strider, Jet Force Gemini, Psychonauts, Final Fantasy III, Red Dead Redemption
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DK9292
06/27/18 11:03:44 AM
#28:


A bunch of elves travel through time, recruiting a harem of women and one fat dude to wage war against a dominatrix and demonic arab.
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Don't bring up K. Rool around me.
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PikachuMaxwell
06/27/18 11:05:25 AM
#29:


I knew someone would reference Pokemon within the first page....
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Super Smash Bros. for Wii U mains: https://imgur.com/vLFcGb2
Nintendo Network Name: JohnJohn
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DevsBro
06/27/18 11:07:41 AM
#30:


Skies of Arcadia

A girl from the moon crash lands and becomes a pirate because why not and proceeds to take down the Spanish Armada over some jewels
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CyricZ
06/27/18 11:11:13 AM
#31:


Professor Layton: Man copes with mental illness of seeing block puzzles everywhere.

Ace Attorney: Instructional media on skillfully inserting yelling and violence into legal proceedings.

Almost any Star Wars game: Terrorism Simulator
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CyricZ
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DK9292
06/27/18 11:12:47 AM
#32:


CyricZ posted...
Professor Layton: Man copes with mental illness of seeing block puzzles everywhere.

You should play Puzzle Agent. That's a more apt description of that game.
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Don't bring up K. Rool around me.
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Turbam
06/27/18 11:13:05 AM
#33:


DK9292 posted...
A bunch of elves travel through time, recruiting a harem of women and one fat dude to wage war against a dominatrix and demonic arab.

Ocarina of Time?
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~snip (V)_(;,;)_(V) snip~
I'm just one man! Whoa! Well, I'm a one man band! https://imgur.com/p9Xvjvs
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davyheinz
06/27/18 11:15:05 AM
#34:


Super Mario 64: A man walks into an empty castle to bash his head on all of the expensive paintings so he can dream about saving a princess from a giant turtle in order to get some cake.
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Currently playing: Strider, Jet Force Gemini, Psychonauts, Final Fantasy III, Red Dead Redemption
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DK9292
06/27/18 11:15:36 AM
#35:


Turbam posted...
DK9292 posted...
A bunch of elves travel through time, recruiting a harem of women and one fat dude to wage war against a dominatrix and demonic arab.

Ocarina of Time?

Not what I was going for but I'll accept it.
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Don't bring up K. Rool around me.
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l Dudeboy l
06/27/18 11:15:53 AM
#36:


F-Zero GX - A racing game so ahead of its time, the next one won't be made for 20 years.
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You are now breathing manually.
Lets put a little lead in the air, and see what falls over.
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Sephiroth1288
06/27/18 11:40:01 AM
#37:


Indigo Prophecy: Walking simulator

Heavy Rain: Walking simulator

Beyond: Two Souls: Walking Simulator

Detroit: Become Human: Walking stimulator
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The person who writes for fools is always sure of a large audience.
Friend Code: 2723-9696-7248
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MC_BatCommander
06/27/18 11:44:26 AM
#38:


You murder a bunch of creatures in your mom's basement
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The Legend is True!
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Vultis_Zales
06/27/18 12:02:18 PM
#39:


Teenagers play a kids card game on a motorcycle at high speeds.
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when someone brings a rocket launcher to a gunfight, you run the HELL home.
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DK9292
06/27/18 12:02:44 PM
#40:


MC_BatCommander posted...
You murder a bunch of creatures in your mom's basement

Binding of Isaac?
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Don't bring up K. Rool around me.
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CyricZ
06/27/18 12:16:16 PM
#41:


Mass Effect: Regularly scheduled pest control goes awry

Sephiroth1288 posted...
Indigo Prophecy: Walking simulator

Heavy Rain: Walking simulator

Beyond: Two Souls: Walking Simulator

Detroit: Become Human: Walking stimulator

Omikron: The Nomad Soul: In-universe and out-of-universe torture simulator.
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CyricZ
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DezDroppedFreak
06/27/18 12:17:30 PM
#42:


Dark Souls: Rolling Simulator
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DezCaughtIt AKA freakofnature30
Brockhampton makes me saturate
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Vultis_Zales
06/27/18 12:18:54 PM
#43:


South Park Fractured but whole: a group of nine year old kids experience the joys of acid
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when someone brings a rocket launcher to a gunfight, you run the HELL home.
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bladegash
06/27/18 12:25:27 PM
#44:


Skyrim: you scream at stuff
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Snappin necks & Cashin checks
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FireTemple
06/27/18 12:29:04 PM
#45:


A forest boy who isn't from the forest tries to make adults listen to him without saying anything.
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<o> \o/ YES!
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Vultis_Zales
06/27/18 12:30:11 PM
#46:


Four teenage girls are forced to fight the darkness and die trying
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when someone brings a rocket launcher to a gunfight, you run the HELL home.
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scorpion41
06/27/18 12:33:26 PM
#47:


Silent Hill: Guy shows up in town, trips on hallucinogens, and slaughters half the population looking for his missing daughter.
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PSN: scorpion_4160
Currently Playing: NCAA 14, Darksiders series(PS3)
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Banjo2553
06/27/18 12:35:32 PM
#48:


An atheist goth girl destroys robots because her masters told her so.
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Vultis_Zales
06/27/18 12:36:50 PM
#49:


Banjo2553 posted...
An atheist goth girl destroys robots because her masters told her so.


Which one is that?
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when someone brings a rocket launcher to a gunfight, you run the HELL home.
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Alkaloid
06/27/18 12:37:17 PM
#50:


Some old guy gives you shoes in exchange for cheap jewelry.

Also you beat a pedophile at his own game. Twice. Celebrate with a BBQ.
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Alkaloid: It's just water in a cup.
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