Current Events > Who created this "toxic masculinity" narrative?

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Funbazooka
04/28/18 3:49:51 PM
#51:


Antifar posted...
It's not that the caricature you've described is harming others, it's that he himself is harmed by the expectations he feels a need to meet. As are men who don't meet those expectations.

You're assuming he's harming himself and you assume that because of your own biases. That isn't necessarily the case. The guy could be happy and finding success because he finds that he's good at embracing masculine qualities. He understands that no one is forcing him but that he prefers to be that way. This occurs.

I totally understand that people can become frustrated, unhappy, depressed because they're denying their own personality and nature in favor of trying to be the person those around them want them to be. That isn't a gendered struggle in itself though.

It doesn't even have to be a question of gendered traits, it could be about what line of work someone goes into or whatever. It's describing the double-edged sword of society and how it might affect the individual
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Funbazooka
04/28/18 3:58:46 PM
#52:


So what's the difference between masculine traits and toxic masculinity? Is there a difference? Or does it only become negative when the man is denying his own nature and blames himself for not being masculine enough? Masculinity can't be blamed for that. There's a pull to fit in and be attractive to the other sex for most people. Replace the man with a female. Same issue.

What I'm saying is that it's a mislabeling of the problem. It is absolutely the struggle of an individual, male or female. It gives people the wrong idea when you say masculinity leads to this problem when in reality there's an endless variety of factors that could lead to this issue for a person. Something that therapy of some kind could hopefully help with. Gender studies through the feminist lense and feminism isn't going to help with that.
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Doctor Foxx
04/28/18 4:00:49 PM
#53:


Funbazooka posted...
Or does it only become negative when the man is denying his own nature and blames himself for not being masculine enough?

or when it's used to harm, exclude, or otherwise mistreat others. it hurts everyone by creating a culture where this shitty behavior is normalized and expected. Creating a society of sick individuals creates a sick society...
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Aki_Narukami
04/28/18 4:00:56 PM
#54:


Doctor Foxx posted...
IloveJesus posted...
You get some men who seem to think a mention of toxic masculinity is an attack on men. It's not. It's largely identified as something which is detrimental to men.

Things like the idea that men shouldn't convey, or even feel, certain emotions. That they should be strong, financial providers, good at fighting, having lots of sex, etc. Very few men are actually capable in the all the areas that society tells them they need to be. It leads to poor mental health and a lack of willingness to talk about their issues. That is toxic masculinity.

It's worth noting that toxic masculinity isn't something that comes exclusively from men. It's produced by society at large and women are just as guilty of perpetuating it as men are.

Yep. This is put well. All of the "I prefer men / I'm not like other girls" and internalized misogyny from women also stems from and remains in working order care of toxic masculinity

what
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Doctor Foxx
04/28/18 4:06:37 PM
#55:


Aki_Narukami posted...
Doctor Foxx posted...
IloveJesus posted...
You get some men who seem to think a mention of toxic masculinity is an attack on men. It's not. It's largely identified as something which is detrimental to men.

Things like the idea that men shouldn't convey, or even feel, certain emotions. That they should be strong, financial providers, good at fighting, having lots of sex, etc. Very few men are actually capable in the all the areas that society tells them they need to be. It leads to poor mental health and a lack of willingness to talk about their issues. That is toxic masculinity.

It's worth noting that toxic masculinity isn't something that comes exclusively from men. It's produced by society at large and women are just as guilty of perpetuating it as men are.

Yep. This is put well. All of the "I prefer men / I'm not like other girls" and internalized misogyny from women also stems from and remains in working order care of toxic masculinity

what

Toxic masculinity puts value on being like a man and rejecting feminine things, for men and women (girl hate). That girl hate extends to women feeling like they can't even enjoy the things they like without being looked down on, and it leads to many women rejecting that part of themselves for an audience. Which is why you encounter so many people claiming to not be like other girls because to be feminine is undesirable
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Aki_Narukami
04/28/18 4:07:15 PM
#56:


interesting take

I disagree though
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Funbazooka
04/28/18 4:09:47 PM
#57:


Doctor Foxx posted...
Funbazooka posted...
Or does it only become negative when the man is denying his own nature and blames himself for not being masculine enough?

or when it's used to harm, exclude, or otherwise mistreat others. it hurts everyone by creating a culture where this shitty behavior is normalized and expected. Creating a society of sick individuals creates a sick society...

That's just your assumption. The hypothetical situation I brought up of a happy successful very masculine dude isn't harming anyone in a tangible measurable way.

There's no scientific basis to this assumption that a guy like that is infecting society or something. You're not that far removed from a religious person fear-mongering about how society has become sinful and needs to find God (or feminism) and repent for their sins (masculinity).
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Funbazooka
04/28/18 4:11:49 PM
#58:


Doctor Foxx posted...
puts value on being like a man and rejecting feminine things

There's nothing inherently wrong with that.
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booboy
04/28/18 4:13:20 PM
#59:


Doctor Foxx posted...
Aki_Narukami posted...
Doctor Foxx posted...
IloveJesus posted...
You get some men who seem to think a mention of toxic masculinity is an attack on men. It's not. It's largely identified as something which is detrimental to men.

Things like the idea that men shouldn't convey, or even feel, certain emotions. That they should be strong, financial providers, good at fighting, having lots of sex, etc. Very few men are actually capable in the all the areas that society tells them they need to be. It leads to poor mental health and a lack of willingness to talk about their issues. That is toxic masculinity.

It's worth noting that toxic masculinity isn't something that comes exclusively from men. It's produced by society at large and women are just as guilty of perpetuating it as men are.

Yep. This is put well. All of the "I prefer men / I'm not like other girls" and internalized misogyny from women also stems from and remains in working order care of toxic masculinity

what

Toxic masculinity puts value on being like a man and rejecting feminine things, for men and women (girl hate). That girl hate extends to women feeling like they can't even enjoy the things they like without being looked down on, and it leads to many women rejecting that part of themselves for an audience. Which is why you encounter so many people claiming to not be like other girls because to be feminine is undesirable


So what are they defining as feminine traits then? Not in terms of looks obviously, but what behaviors?
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ultimate reaver
04/28/18 4:13:47 PM
#60:


Funbazooka posted...
Doctor Foxx posted...
puts value on being like a man and rejecting feminine things

There's nothing inherently wrong with that.


No, there's not. That's why the word "toxic" is in "toxic masculinity". It refers to the point where it becomes actively harmful and people are bullied, treated like garbage, and taking it to the extreme
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Doctor Foxx
04/28/18 4:13:49 PM
#61:


Aki_Narukami posted...
interesting take

I disagree though

toxic masculinity does reject femininity and androgyny as lesser things.

for every "mean girl" there's a society telling her every day that she is only worthy if she gets ahead, if she differentiates herself from "other-women," if she sabotages or demonizes other women, if she goes along with and lionizes misogynistic institutions, and if she also flatters and appeals to those institutions. Gotta be a cool girl that is down with porn, video games, sports, whatever. Not like those other girls.

toxic masculinity feeds that shit so hard
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Aki_Narukami
04/28/18 4:15:26 PM
#62:


Doctor Foxx posted...
Aki_Narukami posted...
interesting take

I disagree though

toxic masculinity does reject femininity and androgyny as lesser things.

for every "mean girl" there's a society telling her every day that she is only worthy if she gets ahead, if she differentiates herself from "other-women," if she sabotages or demonizes other women, if she goes along with and lionizes misogynistic institutions, and if she also flatters and appeals to those institutions. Gotta be a cool girl that is down with porn, video games, sports, whatever. Not like those other girls.

toxic masculinity feeds that shit so hard

youre making a massive leap there

-woman has masculine hobbies
what makes you assume its toxic masculinities fault
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Guide
04/28/18 4:16:53 PM
#63:


thecoolgu posted...
It was created when society decided that men shouldn't openly emote.


This whole topic has been filled with stupid explanations from people that don't know what they're talking about, but this takes the cake. Not feeling like emotions should be expressed is one of the biggest examples of toxic masculinity.

Yall don't separate the chaff from the wheat.
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Doctor Foxx
04/28/18 4:18:03 PM
#64:


booboy posted...
Doctor Foxx posted...
Aki_Narukami posted...
Doctor Foxx posted...
IloveJesus posted...
You get some men who seem to think a mention of toxic masculinity is an attack on men. It's not. It's largely identified as something which is detrimental to men.

Things like the idea that men shouldn't convey, or even feel, certain emotions. That they should be strong, financial providers, good at fighting, having lots of sex, etc. Very few men are actually capable in the all the areas that society tells them they need to be. It leads to poor mental health and a lack of willingness to talk about their issues. That is toxic masculinity.

It's worth noting that toxic masculinity isn't something that comes exclusively from men. It's produced by society at large and women are just as guilty of perpetuating it as men are.

Yep. This is put well. All of the "I prefer men / I'm not like other girls" and internalized misogyny from women also stems from and remains in working order care of toxic masculinity

what

Toxic masculinity puts value on being like a man and rejecting feminine things, for men and women (girl hate). That girl hate extends to women feeling like they can't even enjoy the things they like without being looked down on, and it leads to many women rejecting that part of themselves for an audience. Which is why you encounter so many people claiming to not be like other girls because to be feminine is undesirable


So what are they defining as feminine traits then? Not in terms of looks obviously, but what behaviors?

Think of any guy teased for liking girl things. Men who like fashion, or theater, or cooking, or dancing, or sewing. Think of dress codes that don't allow men to have long hair when women could. Think of men getting shit for carrying a bag because "it's a purse" (an inherently hateable feminine thing unbecoming of real men). Men getting shit for wearing a kilt (oh it's like a dress). Men getting shit for painting their nails or wearing makeup. There is nothing wrong with any man or woman engaging in those hobbies or behaviors.

Toxic masculinity is why people make it an issue
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Wetterdew
04/28/18 4:19:38 PM
#65:


It's when you use traditional masculinity to be an asshole by taking advantage of the douchier aspects of gender roles.
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Funbazooka
04/28/18 4:20:26 PM
#66:


ultimate reaver posted...
people are bullied, treated like garbage,

That isn't a gendered issue tho
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Offworlder1
04/28/18 4:22:07 PM
#67:


Radical feminists who hate men created the concept of toxic masculinity.
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IloveJesus
04/28/18 4:23:27 PM
#68:


Offworlder1 posted...
Radical feminists who hate men created the concept of toxic masculinity.


Not at all. I despise modern feminism buy toxic masculinity is a concept with merit. Sounds like you just don't understand it.
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APM
04/28/18 4:25:35 PM
#69:


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hockeybub89
04/28/18 4:26:09 PM
#70:


It's masculinity that is toxic. Toxic femininity is a thing too.
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Prestoff
04/28/18 4:27:28 PM
#71:


hockeybub89 posted...
It's masculinity that is toxic. Toxic femininity is a thing too.


This, it's not just a one sided deal.
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ultimate reaver
04/28/18 4:27:33 PM
#72:


Funbazooka posted...
ultimate reaver posted...
people are bullied, treated like garbage,

That isn't a gendered issue tho


It absolutely is because different genders have different expectations and effects. There are certainly cases of toxic femininity just as much as masculinity. Furthermore, they can absolutely cross over and affect one another. Toxic masculinity generally approaches women in terms of objectification, stripping of free will and can lead to things like spousal abuse and cheating.

I know people are horrified about feminists being correct about something, but this is an issue that's pretty regularly recognized as real by both sides of that particularly stupid argument. When they know what they're talking about anyway.
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hockeybub89
04/28/18 4:28:05 PM
#73:


Offworlder1 posted...
Radical feminists who hate men created the concept of toxic masculinity.

Toxic is an adjective that modifies masculinity. If it meant the very concept of man is toxic, then why would there be a need to be a qualifier?
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SGT_Conti
04/28/18 4:29:43 PM
#74:


hockeybub89 posted...
Offworlder1 posted...
Radical feminists who hate men created the concept of toxic masculinity.

Toxic is an adjective that modifies masculinity. If it meant the very concept of man is toxic, then why would there be a need to be a qualifier?

I think this is the important thing many people seem to miss. Toxic masculinity is something entirely separate from just masculinity.
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Funbazooka
04/28/18 4:33:13 PM
#75:


Wetterdew posted...
It's when you use traditional masculinity to be an asshole by taking advantage of the douchier aspects of gender roles.

Now this makes a little more sense. That does happen pretty often.

People, they themselves and others, will excuse bad behavior because it could be perceived as ultra-masculine or feminine. That's getting into double-standards territory but then again, males and females are different and I think there are some true biologically determined differences in behavior outside of the immediately obvious. There's a hazy cloud when trying to figure out what's a double-standard and what's actually a reasonable expectation in differences of behavior between males and females.
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Howl
04/28/18 4:36:08 PM
#77:


Bacon_Pancakes posted...
It's because reality doesn't exist anymore.

It basically means that how men are supposed to be - strong, dominant, etc is now translated into - abusive, domineering, patriarchal.

They want men to be lovey dovey guys wearing boardshorts, moccassins, and reads Hemingway whilst crying quietly to themselves over Sunday brunch.

It's pretty fascinating because I think it's some sort of weird natural selection thing going on. Think about it - you rarely see that type of guy dating. Even the girls who spout that whole "Toxic masculinity is bad" dribble wind up dating guys who have more of those "toxic qualities" than those who don't...

Weird. It's the "We're nice guys and demand girlfriends!" bullshit with a new coat of paint.


Nobody wants men to be like that, feminists don't either and men who are like that are utterly despised by women.

Some feminists just say shit like that because it makes them sound like they are capable of having a real intellectual debate about gender issues they aren't smart enough to understand. Then, women who are even dumber than those women follow along and cheer them on because they actually think those women are smart.
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wah_wah_wah
04/28/18 4:37:07 PM
#78:


Prestoff posted...
hockeybub89 posted...
It's masculinity that is toxic. Toxic femininity is a thing too.


This, it's not just a one sided deal.

If it rises to the level of violence, it is often one-sided
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Howl
04/28/18 4:39:05 PM
#79:


wah_wah_wah posted...
Prestoff posted...
hockeybub89 posted...
It's masculinity that is toxic. Toxic femininity is a thing too.


This, it's not just a one sided deal.

If it rises to the level of violence, it is often one-sided


If toxic femininity is the cause in any particular instance, feminists will blame internalized misogyny. So yes, it is actually always one-sided.
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ReD_ToMaTo
04/28/18 4:41:07 PM
#80:


MangaFan462 posted...
Wimpy males

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Funbazooka
04/28/18 4:44:33 PM
#81:


SGT_Conti posted...
hockeybub89 posted...
Offworlder1 posted...
Radical feminists who hate men created the concept of toxic masculinity.

Toxic is an adjective that modifies masculinity. If it meant the very concept of man is toxic, then why would there be a need to be a qualifier?

I think this is the important thing many people seem to miss. Toxic masculinity is something entirely separate from just masculinity.

What is deemed toxic masculinity changes from feminist to feminist. The more extreme ones will demonize even positive masculine traits. Others will say those traits are indirectly toxic when men blame themselves for not being something.

It's subjective even within the feminist ranks. There's no scientific consensus there. Gender studies is far from being a science.
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IfGodCouldDie
04/28/18 4:52:58 PM
#82:


Funbazooka posted...
SGT_Conti posted...
hockeybub89 posted...
Offworlder1 posted...
Radical feminists who hate men created the concept of toxic masculinity.

Toxic is an adjective that modifies masculinity. If it meant the very concept of man is toxic, then why would there be a need to be a qualifier?

I think this is the important thing many people seem to miss. Toxic masculinity is something entirely separate from just masculinity.

What is deemed toxic masculinity changes from feminist to feminist. The more extreme ones will demonize even positive masculine traits. Others will say those traits are indirectly toxic when men blame themselves for not being something.

It's subjective even within the feminist ranks. There's no scientific consensus there. Gender studies is far from being a science.

I remember seeing something along the lines of having facial hair was oppressive to women because they can't grow it. I don't remember if it was satirical or not, mainly because it's not out of the realm of possibility to be believed by some people.
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The23rdMagus
04/28/18 5:25:26 PM
#83:


Howl posted...
Nobody wants men to be like that, feminists don't either and men who are like that are utterly despised by women.

I mean, I'm not really one for board shorts, but I'm discovering that Toms are comfy, brunch is worth getting up for, classic lit is interesting, and acknowledging my emotions isn't a bad thing.

Toxic masculinity is the insistence that these things are inherently bad and "wrong" for a man to be, because they are typically "feminine".
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Howl
04/28/18 5:27:09 PM
#84:


The23rdMagus posted...
Howl posted...
Nobody wants men to be like that, feminists don't either and men who are like that are utterly despised by women.

I mean, I'm not really one for board shorts, but I'm discovering that Toms are comfy, brunch is worth getting up for, classic lit is interesting, and acknowledging my emotions isn't a bad thing.

Toxic masculinity is the insistence that these things are inherently bad and "wrong" for a man to be, because they are typically "feminine".


That's literally the first time I've seen someone define toxic masculinity in that way.
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The23rdMagus
04/28/18 5:29:00 PM
#85:


Howl posted...
The23rdMagus posted...
Howl posted...
Nobody wants men to be like that, feminists don't either and men who are like that are utterly despised by women.

I mean, I'm not really one for board shorts, but I'm discovering that Toms are comfy, brunch is worth getting up for, classic lit is interesting, and acknowledging my emotions isn't a bad thing.

Toxic masculinity is the insistence that these things are inherently bad and "wrong" for a man to be, because they are typically "feminine".


That's literally the first time I've seen someone define toxic masculinity in that way.

Are you sure? I mean, you've been around for a long time...

Ah, right, this is hyperbole.
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ultimate reaver
04/28/18 5:29:55 PM
#86:


Howl posted...
The23rdMagus posted...
Howl posted...
Nobody wants men to be like that, feminists don't either and men who are like that are utterly despised by women.

I mean, I'm not really one for board shorts, but I'm discovering that Toms are comfy, brunch is worth getting up for, classic lit is interesting, and acknowledging my emotions isn't a bad thing.

Toxic masculinity is the insistence that these things are inherently bad and "wrong" for a man to be, because they are typically "feminine".


That's literally the first time I've seen someone define toxic masculinity in that way.


You've obviously only been reading about it in incredibly biased or small scale places
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creativerealms
04/28/18 5:30:09 PM
#87:


Funbazooka posted...
SGT_Conti posted...
hockeybub89 posted...
Offworlder1 posted...
Radical feminists who hate men created the concept of toxic masculinity.

Toxic is an adjective that modifies masculinity. If it meant the very concept of man is toxic, then why would there be a need to be a qualifier?

I think this is the important thing many people seem to miss. Toxic masculinity is something entirely separate from just masculinity.

What is deemed toxic masculinity changes from feminist to feminist. The more extreme ones will demonize even positive masculine traits. Others will say those traits are indirectly toxic when men blame themselves for not being something.

It's subjective even within the feminist ranks. There's no scientific consensus there. Gender studies is far from being a science.


These. The term isn't easy to pin down but very few who use it mean all masclinity. Only RadFems probably think that.
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wah_wah_wah
04/28/18 5:30:32 PM
#88:


The23rdMagus posted...
Howl posted...
Nobody wants men to be like that, feminists don't either and men who are like that are utterly despised by women.

I mean, I'm not really one for board shorts, but I'm discovering that Toms are comfy, brunch is worth getting up for, classic lit is interesting, and acknowledging my emotions isn't a bad thing.

Toxic masculinity is the insistence that these things are inherently bad and "wrong" for a man to be, because they are typically "feminine".

And it's not even women that want men to be a certain way. It's other men. He's basically denying himself all of this because of a box some other dude created for him.

To all those who think all women want stoic lumberjacks who never shave and always leave the toilet seat up, David Bowie. Enough said.
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Aki_Narukami
04/28/18 5:31:17 PM
#89:


soyboys
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BillyKidd
04/28/18 5:35:02 PM
#90:


Frank Pittman in 1993 coined the phrase.
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i_eat_the_booty
04/28/18 5:40:44 PM
#91:


Howl posted...
The23rdMagus posted...
Howl posted...
Nobody wants men to be like that, feminists don't either and men who are like that are utterly despised by women.

I mean, I'm not really one for board shorts, but I'm discovering that Toms are comfy, brunch is worth getting up for, classic lit is interesting, and acknowledging my emotions isn't a bad thing.

Toxic masculinity is the insistence that these things are inherently bad and "wrong" for a man to be, because they are typically "feminine".


That's literally the first time I've seen someone define toxic masculinity in that way.


No it isn't. You're just incapable of comprehending definitions just like everyone who whines about the usage of white privilege
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Howl
04/28/18 5:56:07 PM
#92:


wah_wah_wah posted...
The23rdMagus posted...
Howl posted...
Nobody wants men to be like that, feminists don't either and men who are like that are utterly despised by women.

I mean, I'm not really one for board shorts, but I'm discovering that Toms are comfy, brunch is worth getting up for, classic lit is interesting, and acknowledging my emotions isn't a bad thing.

Toxic masculinity is the insistence that these things are inherently bad and "wrong" for a man to be, because they are typically "feminine".

And it's not even women that want men to be a certain way. It's other men. He's basically denying himself all of this because of a box some other dude created for him.

To all those who think all women want stoic lumberjacks who never shave and always leave the toilet seat up, David Bowie. Enough said.


You know who fits into those categories? Guys like this...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LBBrSSyp7_M" data-time="

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DoctorVader
04/28/18 5:58:08 PM
#93:


It was me Barry.
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Akagami_Shanks
04/28/18 6:02:59 PM
#94:


I've never even heard of this before. Is this some internet only shit that people act like is a widespread issue but in reality nobody cares about it?

Actually it sounds like something Tumblr made popular
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MagusKingOfZeal
04/28/18 6:15:18 PM
#95:


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Anteaterking
04/28/18 6:43:59 PM
#96:


Howl posted...
You know who fits into those categories? Guys like this...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LBBrSSyp7_M" data-time="


I made it through a minute of this before I had to turn it off.
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Pus_N_Pecans
04/28/18 7:16:04 PM
#97:


Aki_Narukami posted...
soyboys

This is a classic example of toxic masculinity.
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Funbazooka
04/28/18 7:34:22 PM
#98:


Nowhere to hide now soyboys. PewDePie's got you in the spotlight

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VOochquOIoo" data-time="

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Aki_Narukami
04/28/18 9:00:49 PM
#99:


Pus_N_Pecans posted...
Aki_Narukami posted...
soyboys

This is a classic example of toxic masculinity.

explain
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southcoast09
04/28/18 9:04:46 PM
#100:


Some unintelligent Marxist feminist
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Stand for the anthem or sit for the game!
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IloveJesus
04/29/18 2:47:58 AM
#101:


Aki_Narukami posted...
Pus_N_Pecans posted...
Aki_Narukami posted...
soyboys

This is a classic example of toxic masculinity.

explain


If you had actually read the topic you would understand.
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Jesus loves us. It only seems fair to love him back.
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