Current Events > Dad wants to lease a car he cannot afford, and asks me to cosign. What do?

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My dad owns an old BMW X5 that has been having problems, and when he brought into the dealership to get it fixed, they quoted him something ridiculous (~$10,000). They gave him an X3 loaner car for the past few weeks, and is now trying to sell it to him.

My dad, who's not in good financial shape, is willing to pay $4k down payment and $500/mo for the lease of this X3. But because his credit and his income isn't up to par, he called me to ask if I can cosign for him.

I told him no, that he should go for a cheaper car; he cannot afford it, and I certainly cannot afford $500/mo when he inevitably fails to pay that.

He started getting irate and questioning how can I not trust him to pay $500/mo, and ranting on and on... he then just hung up on me. I tried calling my mom (who's more reasonable), and she hasn't picked up.

What do I do here?

TL;DR - Dad wants a new lease that he cannot afford, and wants me to cosign; I refuse, and he's getting irate and upset.
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Stan your ground
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Tell him to find a more realistic option.

500 a month is absurd if you don't have the money.
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dont

tell him to fuck off, you're not ruining your credit for his dumb ass
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Give him the address for the nearest Hyundai or Toyota dealership.
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Tell your lame deadbeat Dad to get a fucking job.

Also, those new Honda Civics look pretty sweet, get one of those over a douchey BMDubya
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Definitely hold fast. No reason to ruin your own credibility over someone else's poor decision making, even if they are blood.

Say no. You dont have to explain yourself or call your mom.

Don't give cash to family members unless A) it's for a necessity; and B) it's a straight-up gift.

An X3 is not a necessity-- it's a luxury he can't afford.
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Chicken_Butt posted...

Definitely hold fast. No reason to ruin your own credibility over someone else's poor decision making, even if they are blood.

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Don't touch it with a 10 foot pole.
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Smashingpmkns posted...

Give him the address for the nearest Hyundai or Toyota dealership.

I did mention that on the call; that he should go to Hyundai, Ford, etc. and get a car for like $200/mo, and he's like "you want to see your dad in a shitty car like that?"

-__________-
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Don't do it.
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If you really want to risk your credit score for the worse then by all means go for it.

I lost four would-be friends because I wouldn't co-sign for them given their shoddy financial history. I'm sorry, not going to it. Be prepared to get an earful, but don't leave him hanging either. Convince him to get a more realistic purchase and offer to dish in a bit for the down-payment.
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Yeah don't do that. Tell him he needs to be more reasonable and buy a car he can actually afford
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As a new parent I'd say do this or start wiping his ass because you owe him

Nah jk

You've answered your own question, you can't afford it when it invariably falls behind on his payments, don't sign it. Yes, it's gonna be arguments and headaches, but it's got to be done. Let him come to the realisation that he needs to live within his means and if that means "a shitty car" so be it.

tell him to grow the fuck up and buy something within his means. The bank apparently doesn't think he can pay it, no reason you should.

He's also probably going to get charged out of the ass with interest if his credit is bad. It's a horrible idea and he's an idiot if he throws away his money every month on a car he can't afford. Time for some tough love, if he can't take it then too fucking bad for him
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Tell him to be realistic, and to think about what he would honestly do if the situation was reversed. That he has to think about you, and not just himself. That he can't try and live above his means using his family.

Then I suggest you recommend used, or something like a Dodge Dart , show him how they're based on an Alfa Romeo Giulietta or something like that.
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Don't do it.
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$500 a month on a lease? Fuck that.

Tell him to get a Dodge Charger or Chrysler 300. They're both good looking cars and can typically be leased for under $300. My father in law just got a Charger for $240/month with nothing down and his credit isn't even that good.

Or a Kia Stinger and remove the badges
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littlebro07 posted...

$500 a month on a lease? Fuck that.

Tell him to get a Dodge Charger or Chrysler 300. They're both good looking cars and can typically be leased for under $300. My father in law just got a Charger for $240/month with nothing down and his credit isn't even that good.

Or a Kia Stinger and remove the badges

What year was the Charger? I can afford that and I dig a Charger.

IdiotMachine posted...

Smashingpmkns posted...

Give him the address for the nearest Hyundai or Toyota dealership.

I did mention that on the call; that he should go to Hyundai, Ford, etc. and get a car for like $200/mo, and he's like "you want to see your dad in a shitty car like that?"

-__________-

Sorry but your father is a moronic asshat. Tell him like it is. He doesn't need a high end car. It's a waste of money he doesn't have and he is not entitled to make you liable for up to 6000 dollars a year so he can have a luxury car.

If he is that selfish and tries to shame you tell him he doesn't deserve your support and tell him the door is open for a relationship when he stops treating you like a resource to use.
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So my mom called me to warn me that my dad might just use my social security number and sign for me. I just spent the past 10 minutes freezing my credit with the three bureaus (which cost $20; bleh... At least Equifax was free!).

This is getting worse.
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IdiotMachine posted...

So my mom called me to warn me that my dad might just use my social security number and sign for me. I just spent the past 10 minutes freezing my credit with the three bureaus (which cost $20; bleh... At least Equifax was free!).

This is getting worse.

Dude, wow. Yeah, your dad is a piece. I know he's your dad, but damn.

IdiotMachine posted...

So my mom called me to warn me that my dad might just use my social security number and sign for me. I just spent the past 10 minutes freezing my credit with the three bureaus (which cost $20; bleh... At least Equifax was free!).

This is getting worse.

Holy shit dude, your dad sounds like a POS.
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Chicken_Butt posted...

littlebro07 posted...

$500 a month on a lease? Fuck that.

Tell him to get a Dodge Charger or Chrysler 300. They're both good looking cars and can typically be leased for under $300. My father in law just got a Charger for $240/month with nothing down and his credit isn't even that good.

Or a Kia Stinger and remove the badges

What year was the Charger? I can afford that and I dig a Charger.

2018. It's the GT, which is the AWD V6 model. But I know a guy who got the RT with a V8 for about $275 a month recently.

Challengers are going for about the same too but he wanted a four door.
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Wait. They want a 4k down payment on a fucking lease? Fuck that shit. You shouldn't do it not because co-signing for someone that can't afford it is a bad idea but because you'd actively be enabling the dealership to rip off your family.
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Tell him to consider getting a Honda Civic, or maybe a Camry
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IdiotMachine posted...

So my mom called me to warn me that my dad might just use my social security number and sign for me. I just spent the past 10 minutes freezing my credit with the three bureaus (which cost $20; bleh... At least Equifax was free!).

This is getting worse.

Good luck, sounds like you're taking the right steps. I hope it doesn't get out of control.
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Chicken_Butt posted...

Dude, wow. Yeah, your dad is a piece. I know he's your dad, but damn.

redeadlink posted...

Holy shit did, your dad sounds like a POS.

Yea seriously. My wife and I are looking to buy a house in the next several months, so this shit is going to affect it / cost us more when we start applying for mortgages ($10/bureau/lifting the freeze).
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IdiotMachine posted...

So my mom called me to warn me that my dad might just use my social security number and sign for me. I just spent the past 10 minutes freezing my credit with the three bureaus (which cost $20; bleh... At least Equifax was free!).

This is getting worse.

Yeah time to cut him out of your life. Leave the door open for if he decides to treat you like a human instead of a blank check but make it clear he will never get any money from you ever.
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Only a complete pushover would ever cosign for anyone.

Cut that toxicity out of your life, my man.
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redeadlink posted...

Cut that toxicity out of your life, my man.

Oh he's done worse stuff... like one time, he literally opened a business in my name without me ever knowing. My brother saw my picture on the business license that's required to be posted, took a snap, and asked if I knew about it.

There was another time when he asked me to sponsor a foreign national to become a US permanent resident (which I declined, and that caused another huge arguments).

And lastly, he asked me for ~$6k many years ago to help him bail out on taxes that he owed. I had to get a personal loan for that, because I didn't have that much money.
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I repeat:

redeadlink posted...

Cut that toxicity out of your life, my man.

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cars, especially used ones, should be purchased with a single down payment. Leasing vehicles is a good sign that shouldn't be owning one
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redeadlink posted...

I repeat:

redeadlink posted...

Cut that toxicity out of your life, my man.

I've done what I can. I don't call him and I live 1000 miles away from him.
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If the bank doesn't trust his ass, why should you?
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Is he over compensating for something?
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IdiotMachine posted...

So my mom called me to warn me that my dad might just use my social security number and sign for me. I just spent the past 10 minutes freezing my credit with the three bureaus (which cost $20; bleh... At least Equifax was free!).

This is getting worse.

I feel like this is a bluff to get you to co-sign yourself because it's the lesser evil
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judasmaiden15 posted...

Is he over compensating for something?

Well he's an investor, and he's made a lot of money ever since he was in his early 20s. But in the past 10 years or so, he lost literal millions of dollars over bad investments. Now, my parents are barely making it, and while I "got out of their hair" and paid for my own education (through student loans), got self sufficient, and lost the "my family is upper class" mentality, my dad and my brother obviously haven't.
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littlebro07 posted...

I feel like this is a bluff to get you to co-sign yourself because it's the lesser evil

No he's done that in the past. I had a fraud alert placed on my account several years ago, and got a phone call asking if I am trying to open an account at his local bank.
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He is a grown ass man with a kid that is at least 18, at this point petty things like having the best car around should not matter. Tell him to go get something cheaper. Hell he could good car for less.
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halomonkey1_3_5 posted...

tell him to fuck off

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I mean if he was a cool dad then yeah but he doesnt sound like a cool dad, man.
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TC's survival is most important. can't get yourself dragged into the mud with them.
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Protect your future. Im sure your dad is a great guy, but the fact that hes not doing financially well and think that he needs a luxury/sports car is outlandish.

Hes literally asking for money you may need, to get something he wants, so he will feel cool. My parents are doing fine and my dad has a Honda.
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Ur dad wouldnt co sign for a sports car for you if you were a bag boy at a grocery store....same logic applies here. Theres a reason they need a co-signer....because he cant afford it on his own. Unless you guys are going to share the car, I wouldnt do it...because he wouldnt for you.
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