Current Events > My roommate is pregnant. Dickmove to bail?

(+) Yeah! (+)

She just told me this morning. I was already kinda planning to not renew the lease with her for seperate reasons, but I think she kinda sealed her fate, tbh.

Not dealing with an infant that's not mine. But she'd be fucked if I bailed I feel. We only really got the apartment because I hauled ass.

She's talking about aborting and stuff because she can't afford a kid. I never really had much of an opinion on it, but the idea that someone can just be reckless and just off an unborn child because they make bad decisions makes me feel off when I know the mother.

Still, would it be a dick move to just bail?
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Just get out if that's what you want.
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LordFarquad1312 posted...

Just get out if that's what you want.

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Why do I have tc tagged as humped roommates bed? Any guesses?
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You have no obligation to her at all, I'd bail if you were already gonna
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EnragedSlith posted...

Why do I have tc tagged as humped roommates bed? Any guesses?

That was one drunk night, bro.

Looks like Farquad has spoken.

Just making sure this wouldn't be looked down upon by society somehow. I've been kinda an ass lately so my morality has been a little skewed.
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Think about what you're saying. You're practically talking about raising someones kid out of guilt.
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cuttin_in_farm posted...

Still, would it be a dick move to just bail?

Why would it be? I'm kind of confused.
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People who abort their unborn children are scum

The_Freecs posted...

People who abort their unborn children are scum

its worse if they're not unborn imo.
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cuttin_in_farm posted...

off an unborn child

Move along folks
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smoke_break posted...

cuttin_in_farm posted...

Still, would it be a dick move to just bail?

Why would it be? I'm kind of confused.

Because she won't have anywhere to go without me. Initially I figured she'd be fine solo, but solo and a single parent? She's just 18 too. I feel like her life would get hyper combo KO'd.
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Surely she has a family or someone to help her out?
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Let me just get a couple of things straight:

- Have you ever slept with her before or not?

- If your answer to the above question is "yes", on what basis are you sure that that kid's not yours?

MediumRare posted...

Surely she has a family or someone to help her out?

And even if she doesn't, unless you're the one who knocked her up you can't make yourself responsible for her poor life decisions.
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Abortion bait aside, that could turn out to be a pretty big burden for you that you're under no obligation to undertake.

I personally think youre partly responsible. You were a bad judge of character when securing a room mate, shouldve gotten to know her more before making any rash decisions that could screw either of you over.

cuttin_in_farm posted...

. I never really had much of an opinion on it, but the idea that someone can just be reckless and just off an unborn child because they make bad decisions makes me feel off when I know the mother.

Yeah, it makes way more sense to be reckless and force the child into a life of bad choices and decisions
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Not your perogative
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Wamen
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The_Freecs posted...

People who abort their unborn children are scum

Now that is an oxymoron.
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So you actually had a female roommate that you weren't having sex with? Man you got cucked.
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MediumRare posted...

Surely she has a family or someone to help her out?

Not really. She came from foster care system, and we did this impromptu apartment plan because her foster care conditions were not desirably. She was depressed and all that. I've since taught her how to drive, helped fund her car, and other things. So I'd say I've done most things the last year or so.

byron posted...

Yeah it's better for a kid to grow up in a home where the mother is broke and a kid should suffer because the mother "made a bad decision"

I agree with you. I wish I knew more about the adoption route. But I figure abortion is the best thing for all parties, kid included. It just makes me feel off.

But let's not make this an abortion topic. It's just more real when the topic comes up in real life for me.

do_ob_tpkillr posted...

Let me just get a couple of things straight:

- Have you ever slept with her before or not?

- If your answer to the above question is "yes", on what basis are you sure that that kid's not yours?

Nope. Platonic relationship. We moreso help each other with our romantic relationships if anything.

The_Freecs posted...

I personally think youre partly responsible. You were a bad judge of character when securing a room mate, shouldve gotten to know her more before making any rash decisions that could screw either of you over.

I definitely think my enabling habits have caused some of this, so it's why I feel bad if I was to leave now. Dunno.
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Tadamoto38 posted...

So you actually had a female roommate that you weren't having sex with? Man you got cucked.

Looked down on by the likes of you of all people. The audacity.
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cuttin_in_farm posted...

Looked down on by the likes of you of all people. The audacity.

Seriously, why weren't you banging her?
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Tadamoto38 posted...

cuttin_in_farm posted...

Looked down on by the likes of you of all people. The audacity.

Seriously, why weren't you banging her?

Close your account.
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If she keeps the kid in that situation, then you have solid proof that good judgment just isn't her thing, and sticking with her will probably just lead to unnecessary hardship for you.

The_Freecs posted...

People who abort their unborn children are scum

I personally think youre partly responsible. You were a bad judge of character when securing a room mate, shouldve gotten to know her more before making any rash decisions that could screw either of you over.

Be more Poe's Law, please.
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LinksLiege posted...

If she keeps the kid in that situation, then you have solid proof that good judgment just isn't her thing, and sticking with her will probably just lead to unnecessary hardship for you.

That's kinda where I'm at. She's been weighing me down constantly, and I keep naively thinking at some point she'll be independent and secure. But that never comes. She just keeps regressing.

It's sad seeing a close friend just fuck up at every turn, but I can't sink myself trying to keep others afloat here.

Thanks for the reassurance guys.
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Technically it's kind of a dick move, it depends on your conscience about it. Conscience does cost, as they say.

Personally if she's not family and you're not romantically connected I would say you're a grown man and you should bail. I mean, unless you wanna be tied down with this bitch's problems. If you're a regular straight guy, I don't think that's a good precedent to set. Time is short, life is harsh, etc. Good luck with the decision though.
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marthsheretoo posted...

Close your account.

Close your ass.
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I just had to do this with one of my roommates.
He got his chick pregnant and asked if she could move in with us, they're both gone now.

Children are not welcome in my house.
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Tell her to get the abortion tbh.
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May she have a prosperous abortion.
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cuttin_in_farm posted...

Nope. Platonic relationship. We moreso help each other with our romantic relationships if anything.

Well that's nice. Glad to hear that you're a regular ok person and not a scum bag as I had wrongly assumed.

I don't think you're in any moral wrong if you bail, but I'm just wondering why do you think you need to bail? If you stay, you and her are still splitting the rent whatever ways as per previous agreements (typically speaking, that is). You bail, you'll have to either tank the entire rent elsewhere or spend extra time to re-look for a new buddy, who still might not equal or better the deal you have now. You're not the father, so you won't even be touching the baby, let alone having to care for him/her (again, typically speaking). The only thing you're losing out on is the additional noise pollution, I think?

Of course, if you're actually the landlord or subletter, then it's a different story altogether.

TC sucks with women more than I do. Literally living with a girl and can't get in her pants.
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Kids are horrible. People who take in babies who are not their own are the best people on the face of this Earth. Because kids are horrible. If you didn't get the benefits that come with making a kid I would not force myself the deal with the outcomes .Because kids are horrible.
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cuttin_in_farm posted...

EnragedSlith posted...

Why do I have tc tagged as humped roommates bed? Any guesses?

That was one drunk night, bro.

Are

Are we just going to ignore this
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do_ob_tpkillr posted...

I'm just wondering why do you think you need to bail? If you stay, you and her are still splitting the rent whatever ways as per previous agreements (typically speaking, that is). You bail, you'll have to either tank the entire rent elsewhere or spend extra time to re-look for a new buddy, who still might not equal or better the deal you have now. You're not the father, so you won't even be touching the baby, let alone having to care for him/her (again, typically speaking). The only thing you're losing out on is the additional noise pollution, I think?

TC said he was already thinking he didn't want to renew the lease for separate reasons.
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cuttin_in_farm posted...

I was already kinda planning to not renew the lease with her for seperate reasons

what are these
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do_ob_tpkillr posted...

I don't think you're in any moral wrong if you bail, but I'm just wondering why do you think you need to bail? If you stay, you and her are still splitting the rent whatever ways as per previous agreements (typically speaking, that is). You bail, you'll have to either tank the entire rent elsewhere or spend extra time to re-look for a new buddy, who still might not equal or better the deal you have now. You're not the father, so you won't even be touching the baby, let alone having to care for him/her (again, typically speaking). The only thing you're losing out on is the additional noise pollution, I think?

We've been clashing lately on a few things. And I work long shifts and plan to return to college this summer/fall. I... am honestly not interested the cries of babies nor her inevitable begging of me to help. Financially or with the child. I feel staying would just be me enabling again. She needs to face the weight of her actions. I've always been Mr. Save-a-Hoe, as they say. I'm only recently coming to terms with who I am and what I want from life.

Being substitute parent... isn't it...
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cuttin_in_farm posted...

We've been clashing ...... substitute parent... isn't it...

I see, I see. If you feel the additional financial burden is worth whatever element you're trying to secure, then more power to you.

Best of luck in your future endeavors.

EpicMickeyDrew posted...

cuttin_in_farm posted...

I was already kinda planning to not renew the lease with her for seperate reasons

what are these

She's barely carrying her weight with bills. (I've had to cover the last two phone bills, as well as the last utility bill. I lent her three loans for her lease to own furniture she got for some reason.).

She asks for advice but doesn't actually use it. I.E., asking how to use her new credit card I applied her for. When I say use it like a debit card or simply use it for gas or a bill, she proceeds to max it out and gets a Victoria Secret credit card despite me warning not to get department store CCs. Leading back to issue one about being a financial liability.

She gets upset when I ask her to change habits, like rinsing dishes before putting them in the sink, or not leaving clothes in and on the dryer and washer simultaneously for days at a time.

She doesn't replenish her own stuff. Simply asks for mine. Like toilet paper or beverages. Despite always getting fast food.

She's a negative person. Full of complaints and grievances. Drains my mood.

I just don't enjoy being around her anymore. I try to bear through it because she's a close friend, but it's hard. I'm not helping her by saving her all the time.
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Not sure why people are ragging on ya, you have no real obligation to stick around as a roommate, that doesnt mean you still cant support her as a friend.
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The_Freecs posted...

People who abort their unborn children are scum

If it was from rape then they can do whatever the hell they want and no one should hate and or shame them but if they abort cause they are too poor to afford a kid or they aren't ready for a child then let them kill that innocent baby however remove all of the female's eggs and make her infertile and to the dude who got her pregnant he should have his balls chopped off.

I just broke up with a single mom.

Get the Fuck out of there. She's 18 and pregnant , dad maybe won't be around. This has bad written all over it, stamped, gift wrapped. No no no

And I consider myself a generous person. This single mom almost stole my soul and I have decent game. She's not even your gf? No. It would be awful for you, don't recommend , I'm sorry. It is hard it sucks but she very well might drag you down too. Further , she might make It your problem. Nope !

cuttin_in_farm posted...

She's barely carrying ...... all the time.

Well, that's plenty of reasons to part ways even without the incoming baby, just saying : /

cuttin_in_farm posted...

EpicMickeyDrew posted...

cuttin_in_farm posted...

I was already kinda planning to not renew the lease with her for seperate reasons

what are these

She's barely carrying her weight with bills. (I've had to cover the last two phone bills, as well as the last utility bill. I lent her three loans for her lease to own furniture she got for some reason.).

She asks for advice but doesn't actually use it. I.E., asking how to use her new credit card I applied her for. When I say use it like a debit card or simply use it for gas or a bill, she proceeds to max it out and gets a Victoria Secret credit card despite me warning not to get department store CCs. Leading back to issue one about being a financial liability.

She gets upset when I ask her to change habits, like rinsing dishes before putting them in the sink, or not leaving clothes in and on the dryer and washer simultaneously for days at a time.

She doesn't replenish her own stuff. Simply asks for mine. Like toilet paper or beverages. Despite always getting fast food.

She's a negative person. Full of complaints and grievances. Drains my mood.

I just don't enjoy being around her anymore. I try to bear through it because she's a close friend, but it's hard. I'm not helping her by saving her all the time.

You should get out of there TC, I'd also suggest that you may consider dropping her as a friend when you do. She seems like a toxic, self destructive person, in the long run you'll be better off without that negativity in your life.
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