Poll of the Day > Can a straight person turn gay (or the other way) or is it determined at birth?

(+) Yeah! (+)

Do you have to be born this way?
---

---

I can't say for sure. But I think once you're one or the other, you can't change.
---

I see sexuality as a state of being, it's intrinsic to your character but your character can change over time so your sexuality can too. You can't make it change, but you may wake up one day and feel like dong, just like you may get an unexpected urge for olives.
---

Kyuubi4269 posted...

I see sexuality as a state of being, it's intrinsic to your character but your character can change over time so your sexuality can too. You can't make it change, but you may wake up one day and feel like dong, just like you may get an unexpected urge for olives.

this is like the coolest thing you've ever said here.
---

Methinks its part of the genetic crapshoot. Everyone I know who is gay knew they were long before they came out.

Some like to think that its something you choose, but who would willingly choose to be a social outcast, a pariah even? (That was the stigma around it when I was in high school in the late 90s) Also, theres the whole Well, when did you choose to be straight? response that usually shuts those people up.
---

Well while technically we are born straight. As our bodies should want to procreate with the opposite sex and continue the species. But we humans have these things called emotions. We feel, what we feel and act upon those feelings. Sex is really just another form of intimacy. We can't really help who we are attracted too, just like we can't help what color is our favorite. We aren't really born liking one color or the other but over time we develop feelings for having things all in yellow. Sometimes a little green or black or blue is nice too.

Biologically speaking, there is no point to be attracted to the same sex, but socially, it shouldn't really matter. As long people practice safe sex in my opinion.
---

I say its formed at puberty via epigenetic factors, although you can have genetic inklings.
---

Kigalas posted...

Methinks its part of the genetic crapshoot. Everyone I know who is gay knew they were long before they came out.

Some like to think that its something you choose, but who would willingly choose to be a social outcast, a pariah even? (That was the stigma around it when I was in high school in the late 90s) Also, theres the whole Well, when did you choose to be straight? response that usually shuts those people up.

Nah, it's OK to be gay now. Some might even think they are gay to feel like there is something special about them.
---

Hell if i know. doubt anyone on this board has any research background. im sure lots of people have thoughts but personal experiences are often wrong.

but hey fuck it, just say thoughts, i think nature/birth is a big big part of it. but nurture/what happens in your life can definitely have strong impacts on how you think, act, and be. so i could see it being possible that things happening in your life change your pysche enough to change your sexuality.
---

You can't just choose to be gay, but it's not like you're just born that way and stuck like that.

Kyuubi4269 posted...

I see sexuality as a state of being, it's intrinsic to your character but your character can change over time so your sexuality can too. You can't make it change, but you may wake up one day and feel like dong, just like you may get an unexpected urge for olives.

It's not as simple as that, for a while after I though I was bisexual the thought of actual sex with dudes confused and made me uncomfortable but after a while I started to get used to it and like the thought. But other than that I feel you're right.

Also how is that the first sensible thing you've said here.
---

pretty sure that's just called being bisexual and not realizing it.
---

PMarth2002 posted...

pretty sure that's just called being bisexual and not realizing it.

Pretty sure that's called "Circular reasoning". It's like saying "if you turned gay - you always been gay without realizing it".
---

I know twins, one is a super butch dyke and the other is the girliest of girls. They've always been that way.
---

Lobomoon posted...

PMarth2002 posted...

pretty sure that's just called being bisexual and not realizing it.

Pretty sure that's called "Circular reasoning". It's like saying "if you turned gay - you always been gay without realizing it".

I don't think turning gay or turning straight is a thing. If you "turn gay" or "turn straight", I would call you bisexual, because you're apparently attracted to both sexes to some degree.

As an example (from tv since I don't know anyone irl who did this), Willow from Buffy the Vampire Slayer. She started off the show attracted to guys, than came out in the later seasons as gay. I'd call her bisexual.
---

Being born gay, is kinda a bullshit response actually if you think about it. Its just something one would say to further their stance on one being "gay" when they know they were all along "gay". Now, however.. I can say, when its a coming of age circumstance if you are a guy who likes other guys or a girl who like other girls, then yes. Yes...you definitely starting to realize that you are gay. Or both, or whatever the fuck you think you are.

Well I've known women in real life who converted later on but they said they were always gay but suppressed it

TaKun782 posted...

Being born gay, is kinda a bullshit response actually if you think about it. Its just something one would say to further their stance on one being "gay" when they know they were all along "gay". Now, however.. I can say, when its a coming of age circumstance if you are a guy who likes other guys or a girl who like other girls, then yes. Yes...you definitely starting to realize that you are gay. Or both, or whatever the fuck you think you are.

Lol so you just know what gay people think?
---

I think it's mostly set at birth but a sexy Lobomoon can change anyone

I feel like most of the time your sexuality is just going to expand, if you're straight or gay, you might always be that way, but you might also be challenged into broadening the definition of your sexuality later on. I think you start out a certain way, but outside forces might shake that up a bit and you might develop new aspects of your sexuality the same way you would develop a certain fetish.
---

Given that it's allegedly on a spectrum and fluid, that would suggest that it can be changed. Again, assuming that both the spectrum and fluidity theories are correct.
---

SkynyrdRocker posted...

I think it's mostly set at birth but a sexy Lobomoon can change anyone

So true.
---

Being gay isn't like flipping an on/off switch. It doesn't work that way. You can't just wake up one day and decide you're gay, and the next decide to be straight.
---

Pretty sure it's mostly chosen at birth. like stated earlier, no one would chose to be that different... Especially earlier when this wasn't ok...
---

"Heterosexual" folk who find out they actually like both is nothing more than a later bloomer. Probably because the only experiences they have ever had is with the opposite sex until they are curious enough to act upon their feelings for the same sex too.
---

Camille Paglia's research and experience as a lesbian, herself, suggest that people have a predisposition, and certain life experiences, such as parental relationships and exposure to certain stimuli at a young age seal the deal. We also know it's possible to convert people through extreme, classical conditioning. It's not, of course, that most people "choose" either or, but evidence does point to it being developmental, not natural.
---

I feel like things could probably push you one way or another. But not enough to really push them far one way or another. Especially when younger. But I still think it's mostly chosen at birth for the most part...
---

I like how the "first sensible thing I've said here" is entirely untested science, so is factually less valid than most things I say.
---

It's probably no different than being born left-handed. It doesn't seem like a choice, given that people have been killed for it or committed suicide. I'm pretty sure they'd have just "chosen differently" if it were that simple...
---

TyVulpine posted...

Being gay isn't like flipping an on/off switch. It doesn't work that way. You can't just wake up one day and decide you're gay, and the next decide to be straight.

Pretty sure that's not what anybody is claiming or implying.

LinkPizza posted...

Pretty sure it's mostly chosen at birth. like stated earlier, no one would chose to be that different... Especially earlier when this wasn't ok...

The fact that somebody wouldn't want to be it doesn't necessarily suggest that it's merely birth, especially since it could equally be developmental/environmental in nature. And, again, that overlooks both the idea of a spectrum and fluidity.
---

Zeus posted...

The fact that somebody wouldn't want to be it doesn't necessarily suggest that it's merely birth, especially since it could equally be developmental/environmental in nature. And, again, that overlooks both the idea of a spectrum and fluidity.

In another post, I did say that outside factors may play a little into it. But I still think it's mostly birth. I feel that it is more to birth because if they didn't want to be it, they would probably try to change more. Some gay guys even get married and have children. But they realize that it's not for them. Haha. Personally, not much is ever going to make me think it's choice. But that's because of personal experience...
---

LinkPizza posted...

But I still think it's mostly birth.

There's evidence that testosterone in the womb can effect both gender and sexuality.
---

Lobomoon posted...

Nah, it's OK to be gay now.

Except for in those parts of the world where it can get you a prison sentence or a death sentence, sure. Obviously some people choose to be gay for the simple honest fun of being tortured or murdered.
---

Why does it even matter.

Why do people care who other people have consensual sex with?

It doesn't matter why you want to have sex with a certain sex.

If I had to wager a guess I'd say it could be both.
---

DarkKirby2500 posted...

Why does it even matter.

Why do people care who other people have consensual sex with?

Here's an idea, some people may spaz out over falling population in the modern world so more gay = more pressure on straight to raise offspring.
---

Kyuubi4269 posted...

Here's an idea, some people may spaz out over falling population in the modern world so more gay = more pressure on straight to raise offspring.

Have you ever felt under pressure to help win the demographic war of attrition and keep the numbers up because gays are letting humanity down? And the "modern world" is a pretty big place, in which falling population (rather than the reverse) is not a global issue.

I don't think it's so much about gays failing to do their bit to keep churning out kids in a world of supposedly thinner and thinner population, than it is about the old idea that gays are "eeeewwww" and transgressors against the supposed will of some supernatural being.
---

EvilMegas posted...

TaKun782 posted...

Being born gay, is kinda a bullshit response actually if you think about it. Its just something one would say to further their stance on one being "gay" when they know they were all along "gay". Now, however.. I can say, when its a coming of age circumstance if you are a guy who likes other guys or a girl who like other girls, then yes. Yes...you definitely starting to realize that you are gay. Or both, or whatever the fuck you think you are.

Lol so you just know what gay people think?

Of course. I am gay myself.

I've known I was gay since I was 5 or 6 years old. It sure as hell wasn't a choice because I grew up in a very homophobic area. My family (mostly my extended family, not really my immediate family) are very religious and would definitely disapprove. Even now, a lot of my coworkers that I'm cool with are homophobic and wouldn't feel comfortable being near me if I told them truth (I know I shouldn't care since I don't exactly go to work to make friends, but still that's a mess I'd rather avoid). I tried for years to 'convert' myself or whatever before anyone could figure out I'm not attracted to females, but I learned to accept it for what it is.

Anyway, that's just my experience, and I know everyone is different, but I can't help but get a little annoyed when people think sexuality is a choice as if it's like picking out an outfit or something. Although I'm fine with who I am now, if sexuality really were a choice, I don't see why I wouldn't wanna just be straight.
---

you're bisexual at birth, with a slight leaning towards one or the other and then IMO environment decides the rest pretty early on
---

FatalAccident posted...

you're bisexual at birth, with a slight leaning towards one or the other and then IMO environment decides the rest pretty early on

That or you have no sexuality at all because you're a baby.
---

LinkPizza posted...

Zeus posted...

The fact that somebody wouldn't want to be it doesn't necessarily suggest that it's merely birth, especially since it could equally be developmental/environmental in nature. And, again, that overlooks both the idea of a spectrum and fluidity.

In another post, I did say that outside factors may play a little into it. But I still think it's mostly birth. I feel that it is more to birth because if they didn't want to be it, they would probably try to change more. Some gay guys even get married and have children. But they realize that it's not for them. Haha. Personally, not much is ever going to make me think it's choice. But that's because of personal experience...

Again, I just want to note that you're describing post hoc thinking. Let's say that a guy marries a woman then decides he's happier with a man. At that point you'd claim that he was really gay all along. However, let's say that he marries another woman and never expresses attraction to another man so long as he lives. Does that mean he's now been secretly straight all his life? Or do you cross off gay entirely and write bi-sexual?

Plus why would you assume that their innate preference should be for women? Keep in mind that there are obviously more advantages in same-sex relationships because same-gendered partners should, in theory, be easier to relate to and understand. And, in the case of men, the couple's earning power should theoretically be higher since men tend to seek out higher-paying professions.

And sort of apropos:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6D3irGHfL5w

Kyuubi4269 posted...

DarkKirby2500 posted...

Why does it even matter.

Why do people care who other people have consensual sex with?

Here's an idea, some people may spaz out over falling population in the modern world so more gay = more pressure on straight to raise offspring.

Which is a factor, tbh. That said, a lot of couples just aren't having kids (or that many kids) anyway. And, if every gay couple adopted (which might not be as advantageous as same-sex parents but is better than just being in the system), it would relieve some of the societal burden as well.

SilentSeph posted...

It sure as hell wasn't a choice because I grew up in a very homophobic area.

Again, nobody is arguing choice. And there are far worse sexual attractions -- where acting upon them are punishable by law -- which wouldn't be choice for that same reason, which also kinda raises all manner of thorny issues.
---

Zeus posted...

Again, I just want to note that you're describing post hoc thinking. Let's say that a guy marries a woman then decides he's happier with a man. At that point you'd claim that he was really gay all along. However, let's say that he marries another woman and never expresses attraction to another man so long as he lives. Does that mean he's now been secretly straight all his life? Or do you cross off gay entirely and write bi-sexual?

Plus why would you assume that their innate preference should be for women? Keep in mind that there are obviously more advantages in same-sex relationships because same-gendered partners should, in theory, be easier to relate to and understand. And, in the case of men, the couple's earning power should theoretically be higher since men tend to seek out higher-paying professions.

At that point, he's probably bi-sexual. But I wouldn't know unless he knew. If he loved both a man and a woman in that way, they would be bi-sexual.

As for those advantages, there's a really big disadvantage. And that how much you're treated like an outcast in most groups. The little things being easier to relate and understand may be a little true. But not always just because you're the same gender...
---

Kyuubi4269 posted...

DarkKirby2500 posted...

Why does it even matter.

Why do people care who other people have consensual sex with?

Here's an idea, some people may spaz out over falling population in the modern world so more gay = more pressure on straight to raise offspring.

Being gay has nothing to do with population control. If it ever got down to it, I am 100% sure gay people will have sex with females to make babies. Just because someone is gay doesn't mean they can never have sex with females. Especially if it was to save the human race. Right now, we are approaching overpopulation, so being gay really isn't a downside for the human race. Heck I only know one gay person who doesn't want kids. The rest want to eventually adopt or have surrogates. SO even then gay people are still producing populaiton.
---

yutterh posted...

Kyuubi4269 posted...

DarkKirby2500 posted...

Why does it even matter.

Why do people care who other people have consensual sex with?

Here's an idea, some people may spaz out over falling population in the modern world so more gay = more pressure on straight to raise offspring.

Being gay has nothing to do with population control. If it ever got down to it, I am 100% sure gay people will have sex with females to make babies. Just because someone is gay doesn't mean they can never have sex with females. Especially if it was to save the human race. Right now, we are approaching overpopulation, so being gay really isn't a downside for the human race. Heck I only know one gay person who doesn't want kids. The rest want to eventually adopt or have surrogates. SO even then gay people are still producing populaiton.

Yep. They could have sex with females, or even artificial insemination... The population will mostly likely be fine...
---

Tastes and feelings change as we get older. Furthermore, we come to realize those tastes or changes, more than often, well after they develop. I can also say with certainty that love and preferences are not so simple as a binary "yes or no" or "male or female;" it's entirely possible for someone to be fully attracted to women all of his or her life until they meet the right man, or vice versa, just as it's more than possible for anyone to simply realize that their partner's gender doesn't matter in the slightest.

So no, a "straight" person cannot "turn gay." What a seemingly or allegedly heterosexual CAN do, however, is find out that they don't sit squarely on one side of the spectrum as they thought.
---

The episode of South Park with the "pray the gay away" camp seemed pretty accurate to me (you can't).
---

I find it interesting that being sexually attracted to people of same sex is OK, while being sexually attracted to some other things might not be OK or even be legal.
---

I think both can be true tbh

I think that most people are probably born one or the other but other people just decide which groups they feel attraction towards. What do I know tho
---

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gay-for-pay

Questionmarktarius posted...

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gay-for-pay

They are usually straight. They just do whatever for money. Haha.
---