Poll of the Day > Gonna say NO to the friend zone

(+) Yeah! (+)

i hope she does leave her boyfriend and date TLC and then she turns out to be a horrible partner because he's idealized her personality based on their conversations at work. lmao
---

SusanGreenEyes posted...

OmegaTomHank posted...

Jen and Susan are literally exhibit A on the Twitter meme of some indignant woman acting so bitter about asshole guys who they reject and have the audacity to lose interest in them.

The hypocrisy is astounding too.

We are both in committed relationships with men who love us.
You are alone whining on a video game website.
You're the bitter one, dude.

Good for you? Im happy for you. No really.

And Im pretty sure Im not whining.

OmegaTomHank posted...

I have no idea yet if she finds me desirable. I havent asked her but I will talk to her about it on the weekend, thats the whole point of the topic.

If she was into you, youd know it.
---

SusanGreenEyes posted...

We are both in committed relationships with men who love us.
You are alone whining on a video game website.
You're the bitter one, dude.

right?

how are we hypocrites at all? please explain.
---

Jen0125 posted...

i hope she does leave her boyfriend and date TLC and then she turned out to be a horrible partner because he's idealized her personality based on their conversations at work. lmao

That could happen with anyone you commit to. The only issues Ive seen with her potentially are super minor, shes genuinely nice and intelligent and I greatly enjoy being around her almost all the time.

She also doesnt drink, smoke or use and has no children plans for 2-3 years so shes super ideal. She does want to get married though.

Mead posted...

OmegaTomHank posted...

I have no idea yet if she finds me desirable. I havent asked her but I will talk to her about it on the weekend, thats the whole point of the topic.

If she was into you, youd know it.

Not really. She wouldnt make it too obvious if she has any morals or standards for herself because that makes her appear to be a slut who looks to drop out of relationships as soon as she meets someone better.

OmegaTomHank posted...

Mead posted...

OmegaTomHank posted...

I have no idea yet if she finds me desirable. I havent asked her but I will talk to her about it on the weekend, thats the whole point of the topic.

If she was into you, youd know it.

Not really. She wouldnt make it too obvious if she has any morals or standards for herself because that makes her appear to be a slut who looks to drop out of relationships as soon as she meets someone better.

I asked my boyfriend out because I liked him.
We've been married for 11 years as of this July.
Please tell me how letting him know I liked him makes me a slut.
---

Jen0125 posted...

SusanGreenEyes posted...

We are both in committed relationships with men who love us.
You are alone whining on a video game website.
You're the bitter one, dude.

right?

how are we hypocrites at all? please explain.

You are literally defending her desire for friendship while totally disregarding my desire for a relationship.

If she doesnt have to be my girlfriend I also dont have to be her friend. This is called equality and fairness.

You literally are saying I shouldnt stop being friends with her because it would make her feel bad, so by that logic she should be my girlfriend to not make me feel bad.

You are too biased to even see your own terrible logic

SusanGreenEyes posted...

OmegaTomHank posted...

Mead posted...

OmegaTomHank posted...

I have no idea yet if she finds me desirable. I havent asked her but I will talk to her about it on the weekend, thats the whole point of the topic.

If she was into you, youd know it.

Not really. She wouldnt make it too obvious if she has any morals or standards for herself because that makes her appear to be a slut who looks to drop out of relationships as soon as she meets someone better.

I asked my boyfriend out because I liked him.
We've been married for 11 years as of this July.
Please tell me how letting him know I liked him makes me a slut.

If you had a boyfriend at the time asking another man out is pretty slutty thing to do but hey maybe your husband appreciates cuckolding, who knows?

OmegaTomHank posted...

Mead posted...

OmegaTomHank posted...

I have no idea yet if she finds me desirable. I havent asked her but I will talk to her about it on the weekend, thats the whole point of the topic.

If she was into you, youd know it.

Not really. She wouldnt make it too obvious if she has any morals or standards for herself because that makes her appear to be a slut who looks to drop out of relationships as soon as she meets someone better.

Youre delving deeper into incel territory right here bud, abort
---

My perception of you is you like never get laid and like to throw the word incel around as a projection.

Nothing about that post was in incel territory. If you think its okay for your girlfriend to flirt and ask out other men you probably wont have a girlfriend very long.

OmegaTomHank posted...

SusanGreenEyes posted...

OmegaTomHank posted...

Mead posted...

OmegaTomHank posted...

I have no idea yet if she finds me desirable. I havent asked her but I will talk to her about it on the weekend, thats the whole point of the topic.

If she was into you, youd know it.

Not really. She wouldnt make it too obvious if she has any morals or standards for herself because that makes her appear to be a slut who looks to drop out of relationships as soon as she meets someone better.

I asked my boyfriend out because I liked him.
We've been married for 11 years as of this July.
Please tell me how letting him know I liked him makes me a slut.

If you had a boyfriend at the time asking another man out is pretty slutty thing to do but hey maybe your husband appreciates cuckolding, who knows?

By your logic, if she dumps the other guy to be with you, then you would consider her to be a slut.
---

Kungfu Kenobi posted...

OmegaTomHank posted...

Kungfu Kenobi posted...

mastermix3000 posted...

Muscles posted...

I have been in this situation many times, its best to not say anything until she's single imo

Never been in this situation but this is the answer. If she did things that made it obvious she liked you (from the OP it looks like you really are just a friend) than I would actually say go for it

It's all about reading this situation. Best thing to do in situations like this is look at the picture from different perspectives and not just your own

Here's a perspective

My S.O. of 17 years was in a serious relationship with my best friend when I told her flat out that after all the time we were spending together, a platonic relationship wasn't going to work for me. That was absolutely, positively the right thing to do. In fact, it was probably best for everyone in the long run - once the dust settled everyone in that love triangle had a better relationship with each other afterward than before. The friend in that arrangement went on to get married to someone he's crazy about and have kids. Not in that order, and not the same women, but hey, it worked out.

Im suprised he didnt try to fight you.

I said it was the right thing to do. I didn't say he never wanted to fucking kill me.

Hm. Stealing your best friends girl is kinda rough man. Major violation of the bro code but hey life moves on

SusanGreenEyes posted...

OmegaTomHank posted...

SusanGreenEyes posted...

OmegaTomHank posted...

Mead posted...

OmegaTomHank posted...

I have no idea yet if she finds me desirable. I havent asked her but I will talk to her about it on the weekend, thats the whole point of the topic.

If she was into you, youd know it.

Not really. She wouldnt make it too obvious if she has any morals or standards for herself because that makes her appear to be a slut who looks to drop out of relationships as soon as she meets someone better.

I asked my boyfriend out because I liked him.
We've been married for 11 years as of this July.
Please tell me how letting him know I liked him makes me a slut.

If you had a boyfriend at the time asking another man out is pretty slutty thing to do but hey maybe your husband appreciates cuckolding, who knows?

By your logic, if she dumps the other guy to be with you, then you would consider her to be a slut.

No I initiated and she chose. She has the right to choose. If she initiated without leaving her boyfriend first thats pretty sketchy. Definitely.

OmegaTomHank posted...

You are literally defending her desire for friendship while totally disregarding my desire for a relationship.

you're not entitled to a relationship. and i already said no one is suggesting you stay friends with her but your approach is horrible and you're literally just laying a guilt trip on her because you feel like she needs to know your feelings. you're only telling her to make yourself feel better and make her feel bad.

OmegaTomHank posted...

If she doesnt have to be my girlfriend I also dont have to be her friend. This is called equality and fairness.

i have not disagreed with that. but that has nothing to do with equity.

OmegaTomHank posted...

You literally are saying I shouldnt stop being friends with her because it would make her feel bad, so by that logic she should be my girlfriend to not make me feel bad.

i already said several times you don't have to be friends with her. you're mixing me up with other people. i have only said your approach is ridiculous.

OmegaTomHank posted...

You are too biased to even see your own terrible logic

you are too biased to separate users arguments to actually refute what i'm saying.
---

OmegaTomHank posted...

SusanGreenEyes posted...

OmegaTomHank posted...

SusanGreenEyes posted...

OmegaTomHank posted...

Mead posted...

OmegaTomHank posted...

I have no idea yet if she finds me desirable. I havent asked her but I will talk to her about it on the weekend, thats the whole point of the topic.

If she was into you, youd know it.

Not really. She wouldnt make it too obvious if she has any morals or standards for herself because that makes her appear to be a slut who looks to drop out of relationships as soon as she meets someone better.

I asked my boyfriend out because I liked him.
We've been married for 11 years as of this July.
Please tell me how letting him know I liked him makes me a slut.

If you had a boyfriend at the time asking another man out is pretty slutty thing to do but hey maybe your husband appreciates cuckolding, who knows?

By your logic, if she dumps the other guy to be with you, then you would consider her to be a slut.

No I initiated and she chose. She has the right to choose. If she initiated without leaving her boyfriend first thats pretty sketchy. Definitely.

If you choose then it's fine.
If she chooses then she's a slut.
If she agrees to your choice she gets to be with you.
If she refuses to agree to your choice then you will never speak to her again.
Are you a Lannister by any chance, or are you just stark raving mad?
---

Jen0125 posted...

OmegaTomHank posted...

You are literally defending her desire for friendship while totally disregarding my desire for a relationship.

you're not entitled to a relationship. and i already said no one is suggesting you stay friends with her but your approach is horrible and you're literally just laying a guilt trip on her because you feel like she needs to know your feelings. you're only telling her to make yourself feel better and make her feel bad.

OmegaTomHank posted...

If she doesnt have to be my girlfriend I also dont have to be her friend. This is called equality and fairness.

i have not disagreed with that. but that has nothing to do with equity.

OmegaTomHank posted...

You literally are saying I shouldnt stop being friends with her because it would make her feel bad, so by that logic she should be my girlfriend to not make me feel bad.

i already said several times you don't have to be friends with her. you're mixing me up with other people. i have only said your approach is ridiculous.

OmegaTomHank posted...

You are too biased to even see your own terrible logic

you are too biased to separate users arguments to actually refute what i'm saying.

Your solution was that I tell her I dont want to be friends with her and not give her a reason like this wouldnt make her feel bad.

You are just arguing for the sake of it.

OmegaTomHank posted...

My perception of you is you like never get laid and like to throw the word incel around as a projection.

Nothing about that post was in incel territory. If you think its okay for your girlfriend to flirt and ask out other men you probably wont have a girlfriend very long.

Well if I had a girlfriend and a not a wife, Id probably not feel great about her hanging out with some skeevy fella that felt like he was owed a relationship

If you want to be in a relationship but only want that, maybe look for girls you arent already friends with or ones that arent already in a relationship with another guy
---

Aside from the friend zone not really being a thing (no one is entitled to more than friendship)

If you're going to do this you should not just dump it all in a text. That's not communication, that's not fair, and that's not going to have a good outcome. You may feel relieved from confession but you haven't taken into account how this will make her feel.
---

OmegaTomHank posted...

Your solution was that I tell her I dont want to be friends with her and not give her a reason like this wouldnt make her feel bad.

You are just arguing for the sake of it.

or wolfy's suggestion of just fading out.

either of those are better than you guilting her for no reason other than your own feelings.

Doctor Foxx posted...

You may feel relieved from confession but you haven't taken into account how this will make her feel.

this is exactly how i feel about the situation. apparently how she feels doesn't matter because she's a woman and in a relationship with someone who isn't TLC.
---

SusanGreenEyes posted...

If you choose then it's fine.
If she chooses then she's a slut.
If she agrees to your choice she gets to be with you.
If she refuses to agree to your choice then you will never speak to her again.
Are you a Lannister by any chance, or are you just stark raving mad?

Why are you being intentionally obtuse? If she has a boyfriend its not okay for her to ACTIVELY seek other men. She should break up with him if she feels that way. If she however is passively courted and then chooses to leave him for another man thats her choice. Shes not married and has no obligation.

And I never said I would never speak to her again, just that our relationship would regress back to friendLY not friends.

Doctor Foxx posted...

Aside from the friend zone not really being a thing (no one is entitled to more than friendship)

If you're going to do this you should not just dump it all in a text. That's not communication, that's not fair, and that's not going to have a good outcome. You may feel relieved from confession but you haven't taken into account how this will make her feel.

No one is entitled to friendship either.

And I definitely have taken into account how she will feel. But it will be better for the both of us in the long run. I agree that it should be done face to face though

---

OmegaTomHank posted...

SusanGreenEyes posted...

If you choose then it's fine.
If she chooses then she's a slut.
If she agrees to your choice she gets to be with you.
If she refuses to agree to your choice then you will never speak to her again.
Are you a Lannister by any chance, or are you just stark raving mad?

Why are you being intentionally obtuse? If she has a boyfriend its not okay for her to ACTIVELY seek other men. She should break up with him if she feels that way. If she however is passively courted and then chooses to leave him for another man thats her choice. Shes not married and has no obligation.

And I never said I would never speak to her again, just that our relationship would regress back to friendLY not friends.

How many more people need to tell you that you're wrong and creepy before you accept it?
---

OmegaTomHank posted...

No one is entitled to friendship either.

You're right. There is no friend zone. Be grateful for the friendship or move on.

OmegaTomHank posted...

And I definitely have taken into account how she will feel.

Haven't seen that at all in this topic

OmegaTomHank posted...

I agree that it should be done face to face though

Good to that at least
---

Jen0125 posted...

OmegaTomHank posted...

Your solution was that I tell her I dont want to be friends with her and not give her a reason like this wouldnt make her feel bad.

You are just arguing for the sake of it.

or wolfy's suggestion of just fading out.

either of those are better than you guilting her for no reason other than your own feelings.

Doctor Foxx posted...

You may feel relieved from confession but you haven't taken into account how this will make her feel.

this is exactly how i feel about the situation. apparently how she feels doesn't matter because she's a woman and in a relationship with someone who isn't TLC.

The funny thing is you think its better. Just shows how immature you are. I wont do that because Im not a teenaged girl or have the mentality of one. But apparently its just common for women to feel like passively ignoring someone for seemingly no reason is a better solution than just being an adult and communicating like one.

Ive had that happen to me, it doesnt even come close to feeling better, it feels worse. Having someone you talk to all the time suddenly start stiffing you, giving you one word answers, ignoring your texts in the hopes that you take a hint and go away.

Not only is this a super shitty thing to do its a flat out bitch move. It diffuses responsibility from yourself to the other person, basically making them feel like they did something wrong. And they start thinking they did or said something that hurt you when really they are just hurt because you dont like them as much or you like them too much.

That dude is either a teenager or a complete beta male. Would literally never do that to a woman.

OmegaTomHank posted...

But it will be better for the both of us in the long run.

according to whom? you? that's just your opinion.
---

Jen0125 posted...

OmegaTomHank posted...

But it will be better for the both of us in the long run.

according to whom? you? that's just your opinion.

His opinion all that matters, he has to grab her by the pussy if he wants her, ok?
---

OmegaTomHank posted...

But apparently its just common for women to feel like passively ignoring someone for seemingly no reason is a better solution than just being an adult and communicating like one.

or maybe you haven't done a lot of dating to realize men aren't great at handling rejection from women in general.

look at you in this very topic. you're trying to assuage your own feelings by guilt tripping this chick who believes you are just friends by laying a love confession at her feet.

OmegaTomHank posted...

Ive had that happen to me, it doesnt even come close to feeling better, it feels worse. Having someone you talk to all the time suddenly start stiffing you, giving you one word answers, ignoring your texts in the hopes that you take a hint and go away.

talking about your own feelings again without understanding that not everyone is you

OmegaTomHank posted...

Not only is this a super shitty thing to do its a flat out bitch move. It diffuses responsibility from yourself to the other person, basically making them feel like they did something wrong. And they start thinking they did or said something that hurt you when really they are just hurt because you dont like them as much or you like them too much.

you're doing the exact same thing to her by telling her you want to date her or not be friends with her. you're putting the responsibility for the friendship entirely on her and potentially making her feel guilty so you can feel better.
---

Doctor Foxx posted...

OmegaTomHank posted...

No one is entitled to friendship either.

You're right. There is no friend zone. Be grateful for the friendship or move on.

OmegaTomHank posted...

And I definitely have taken into account how she will feel.

Haven't seen that at all in this topic

OmegaTomHank posted...

I agree that it should be done face to face though

Good to that at least

Im actively moving on.

And the friend zone is the area where men who arent grateful for their friendship and dont choose to move on in the hopes of later winning her heart reside. This doesnt exist to me, hence Saying No to the friend zone

I never said it was easy, but it needs to be done. Simple

How many relationships has TC had, and how long has each one lasted?
---

Jen0125 posted...

OmegaTomHank posted...

But apparently its just common for women to feel like passively ignoring someone for seemingly no reason is a better solution than just being an adult and communicating like one.

or maybe you haven't done a lot of dating to realize men aren't great at handling rejection from women in general.

look at you in this very topic. you're trying to assuage your own feelings by guilt tripping this chick who believes you are just friends by laying a love confession at her feet.

OmegaTomHank posted...

Ive had that happen to me, it doesnt even come close to feeling better, it feels worse. Having someone you talk to all the time suddenly start stiffing you, giving you one word answers, ignoring your texts in the hopes that you take a hint and go away.

talking about your own feelings again without understanding that not everyone is you

OmegaTomHank posted...

Not only is this a super shitty thing to do its a flat out bitch move. It diffuses responsibility from yourself to the other person, basically making them feel like they did something wrong. And they start thinking they did or said something that hurt you when really they are just hurt because you dont like them as much or you like them too much.

you're doing the exact same thing to her by telling her you want to date her or not be friends with her. you're putting the responsibility for the friendship entirely on her and potentially making her feel guilty so you can feel better.

Theres no responsibility of friendship. What are you talking about? It doesnt exist.

If it isnt clear enough there is no such scenario that exists in this reality where we are just friends. That is her DESIRE. Operative word. My desire is different.

I also have no intention of phasing her out of my life completely. If I see her on happenstance will still say hi how are you and bye as usual. Its not something where I need to hate her and never talk or see her again to get over it.

Also again you diffuse responsibility. You say men cant handle rejection but really is just your own cowardice.

Not all men, hell even a majority of men are going to beat or rape you for rejecting them.

Most will just call you a bitch and not talk to you again and theres tons of men like me who just accept it without issue.

Ive never had a fear of rejecting women or gay men. Its called having a backbone.

Ive had a gay fat dude try to take me home one time. Told him straight up no Im good.

OmegaTomHank posted...

Also again you diffuse responsibility. You say men cant handle rejection but really is just your own cowardice.

lmao no way dude. you reject a dude 7 times out of 10 you're gonna get a barrage of insults about how fat, ugly and horrible you actually were and how you would have been lucky to get with that dude. give me a break.

OmegaTomHank posted...

Not all men, hell even a majority of men are going to beat or rape you for rejecting them.

the fuck are you talking about?

OmegaTomHank posted...

Most will just call you a bitch and not talk to you again and theres tons of men like me who just accept it without issue.

and calling someone a bitch is appropriate? why would you want to get berated simply for saying no?

OmegaTomHank posted...

Ive never had a fear of rejecting women or gay men. Its called having a backbone.

Ive had a gay fat dude try to take me home one time. Told him straight up no Im good.

that's fine. you're not a woman and you don't know how it feels.
---

OmegaTomHank posted...

But apparently its just common for women to feel like passively ignoring someone for seemingly no reason is a better solution than just being an adult and communicating like one.

Some people just communicate in ways that arent direct. That can be frustrating but it is hardly exclusive to women
---

I would tell her in person. You're gonna want a genuine reaction to this, not a calculated text response.
---

OmegaTomHank posted...

theres tons of men like me who just accept it without issue.

Except you aren't accepting it without issue.
---

Yeah.. don't do this.
---

Jen0125 posted...

OmegaTomHank posted...

Also again you diffuse responsibility. You say men cant handle rejection but really is just your own cowardice.

lmao no way dude. you reject a dude 7 times out of 10 you're gonna get a barrage of insults about how fat, ugly and horrible you actually were and how you would have been lucky to get with that dude. give me a break.

OmegaTomHank posted...

Not all men, hell even a majority of men are going to beat or rape you for rejecting them.

the fuck are you talking about?

OmegaTomHank posted...

Most will just call you a bitch and not talk to you again and theres tons of men like me who just accept it without issue.

and calling someone a bitch is appropriate? why would you want to get berated simply for saying no?

OmegaTomHank posted...

Ive never had a fear of rejecting women or gay men. Its called having a backbone.

Ive had a gay fat dude try to take me home one time. Told him straight up no Im good.

that's fine. you're not a woman and you don't know how it feels.

So he calls you mean names? Big deal.

You act like women wont do this when they get their feelings hurt. Ive definitely had my flaws randomly pointed out after they were being ignored. Hell one chick even tried to get me fired from my job because I didnt want to fuck her. You just move on and dont care. Again, its called a backbone

Lmao okay tough guy. Enjoy your rejection and guilting someone for no reason other than to make yourself feel better.
---

Mead posted...

OmegaTomHank posted...

But apparently its just common for women to feel like passively ignoring someone for seemingly no reason is a better solution than just being an adult and communicating like one.

Some people just communicate in ways that arent direct. That can be frustrating but it is hardly exclusive to women

Its not even a women issue, its an inconsiderate issue. They try to justify it because it would make them feel bad to hurt someones feelings. But again, its really all about them. Its literally easier to just ignore someone and hope they go away then confronting someone.

The idea that it is in anyway considerate to the other individual is laughable.

Jen0125 posted...

Lmao okay tough guy. Enjoy your rejection and guilting someone for no reason other than to make yourself feel better.

As opposed to passively ignoring someone to make myself feel better. Lmao.

Also if she says yes I want to be with you too, then this is the only case where I feel better. Its not done for that purpose. Its done to establish clarity in our relationship and not make a game of it.

When I worked in retail I had one chick not talk to me for close to 2 years straight for breaking her heart.

Another one tried to get me fired and reported minor things to the manager because she was mad I wouldnt bang her and she wasnt like 10 years older than me(I was 19) with a kid.

The other one wanted to bang(another prowler) very flagrantly but was cool about it because she had a boyfriend and just wanted to cheat.

The other wanted to date (1 year younger) and was okay about it. Occasional guilt trip and pushiness but nothing too bad. She got over it eventually.

Thats 50/50 right there. Ill live

Now Im in a situation where this chick im sitting with every day for 2-3 weeks straight at work is now passively ignoring me, barely talking to me and only giving short responses when I talk to her. I did nothing to her to warrant this and her behavior didnt change until i started talking about other women. Either that or one of my friends told her I liked her(I dont and am unsure she did this) but either way she wont tell me and Im about to just stop talking to her. Its pretty annoying and I would greatly prefer she just told me what the fuck her problem is.

I think the biggest issue is your belief anyone owes you anything.
---

Skimming through this topic, I'm confused at the point of it. All it seems to be is TC fishing for people to say he's doing the right thing after he's already decided what to do to make him feel better about his decision and ignoring/arguing at anything that goes against his decision.

I get this topic now. So many women have wanted Tom's body that now that this one doesn't, he can't handle it.
---

Babbit55 posted...

Move on. She is in a relationship, end of.

Stop antagonising yourself and closing yourself off from meeting someone else, someone much better may be waiting just round the corner.

This.

And there is no friend zone. Thats just something incels say.
---

The friend zone definitely exists, but its not some evil place that girls send guys just to be a bitch

It's just when a girl doesn't have feelings for you and wants to be your friend, and there's nothing wrong with that
---

Muscles posted...

The friend zone definitely exists, but its not some evil place that girls send guys just to be a bitch

It's just when a girl doesn't have feelings for you and wants to be your friend, and there's nothing wrong with that

But thats not how people who whine about it define it. They act like theres some magical recipe to avoid it, when its just a case of some girls never wanting more than friendship to begin with.
---

Look at this objectively. Knowing her as well as you currently do, how do you think she would react if you told her this and she didn't reciprocate your feelings?

Make sure, before you reply, that you're not looking at her through some fantasy lens. Take some time to think, I don't care.
---