Board 8 > "Let me know if you feel the same way."

(+) Yeah! (+)

I got a woman's number at work this week (^5 Corrik), an intern that's been with a separate department from mine since the summer.

I thought our vibes were going strong over the past two months. Her department's co-workers (all women if that matters) were playing match-maker and suggested we try to work something out in private, but I never could talk to her alone. Eventually I typed up a message and showed it to her on my phone when her co-workers weren't looking right at us:

"Your eyes are addicting and I don't know how to ask for your number with our friends around.

Let me know if you feel the same way."

She smiled real big and stepped out right away, so I did too and I got her number. She also mentioned she would like to do lunch right then and there but couldn't. We texted awhile after that about how either of us could be single with everything we thought the other person had going on -- this was a conversation she was leading in our texts more than me.

Next day or two though, text messages were kinda stilted with more time between her messages. I left her alone yesterday to see if she'd message first. She didn't. I had a previously-planned date yesterday anyway so that was fine, but I noticed.

We messaged a few times today and then I asked if she wanted to meet up tomorrow...got this message:

"I?m going to just be up front and honest I gave you my number so we could be friends but I can?t say I feel the same way as what you had mentioned the other day. I never told you otherwise and I should have I?m sorry. I do think you?re a great guy but I am seeing someone else at the moment"

Co-workers throught she was single, and I thought so too both before and after I got her number. Bah. Glad she told me now, but this sure wasn't the vibe I had. It makes me wonder if I said something wrong and messed it up, if she was interested and then felt guilty about already having a man, if she felt pressured since I asked her at work, or what.

She was fine too, damn. We'll be okay...just a confusing bummer.
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I thought this unicode update would finally fix your apostrophes, but I guess not
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DeepsPraw posted...

I thought this unicode update would finally fix your apostrophes, but I guess not

If I was C&P'ing things to her, I would understand her message to me a lot better.

(goddamn I hate C&P on my phone and my desktop has its own issue too, rabble rabble)
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She might have been kind of seeing another guy already and it escalated since that day (as you said, you also had a pre-planned date). Maybe she did too and it went very well!
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MZero11 posted...

She might have been kind of seeing another guy already and it escalated since that day (as you said, you also had a pre-planned date). Maybe she did too and it went very well!

this is what I'm guessing. sucks though.
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I feel for ya, man
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If so, dang -- I thought about cancelling the pre-planned date to ask this lady out sooner, but that didn't feel right even though this lady's the one that's had my interest lately. Pre-planned date came up randomly with an old friend Monday whereas I got this number on Wednesday...didn't seem appropriate to do that.

Who knows.
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MZero11 posted...

She might have been kind of seeing another guy already and it escalated since that day (as you said, you also had a pre-planned date). Maybe she did too and it went very well!

Either this or she suddenly heard something about you that she didn't like
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She probably heard that you talked to Kevin before the show.

Fucking Kevin.
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Well at least it wasn't Brian.

Or ESPECIALLY Bill.
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I see two main possibilities

1) She likes you. She's single, but had been seeing someone, and when you first showed her the message, things with the other person were kinda mild, but then they picked up.

2) She thinks of you as a friend, and she's also a wonderful and kind person. When you showed her the message, she immediately realized it was something very meaningful to you, and wanted to respect it (and you) as much as possible by having a one on one talk. In this scenario she's also the type of individual who struggles with delivering bad news in general. And she just let the conversation go longer than she meant to before making it clear she doesn't want to date you.

Either way, it's not a bad thing.
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To follow up on that, if your goal is to date her eventually, it doesn't make a difference if it's scenario 1 or 2. You do the same thing either way.

Be a friend to her without singling her out, if that makes sense.

Don't be like, "I will make a point to be her greatest friend." Just include/invite her to social gatherings with coworkers and just converse whenever you two naturally cross paths at work.

Be patient, basically.
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HotDogButts posted...

She probably heard that you talked to Kevin before the show.

Fucking Kevin.

I'm sorry, geez!
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I doubt she heard anything bad about me based on the co-workers, but who knows -- maybe someone else I don't know she knows has a vendetta with me? Not worried about that one, but I accept it could happen.

Good points mmmk, thanks.
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When a woman says she's seeing somebody, I'm always suspicious that it isn't the excuse they were giving to get away from you...because I don't think I've ever approached a woman who wasn't seeing somebody.

Either that, or I'm literally the only single person on the planet.
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A friend from high school once told me women are always talking with someone else...there's some truth there from my experience. That can be overcame and reversed in some circumstances...but still, if that's their way of saying no to meeting up, okay then -- I'm moving on.
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HaRRicH posted...

A friend from high school once told me women are always talking with someone else...there's some truth there from my experience. That can be overcame and reversed in some circumstances...but still, if that's their way of saying no to meeting up, okay then -- I'm moving on.

that's a good way to look at it
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HaRRicH posted...

A friend from high school once told me women are always talking with someone else...there's some truth there from my experience. That can be overcame and reversed in some circumstances...but still, if that's their way of saying no to meeting up, okay then -- I'm moving on.

Ehhhhh I'd say that's not really true all the time, but yes "I have a boyfriend/girlfriend/am seeing someone" is usually the easiest way to let someone down
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