Current Events > yr: CNN approaches you and says they will publish your internet history

(+) Yeah! (+)

What they want from you is total compliance. They are upset over some comments you made on gamefaqs. They want you to delete the comments, apologize publicly for being a scum human and declare that Trump is the anti-christ and CNN is the greatest news source of all time.

What would you do?
What you got to hide if you don't cooperate?
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Do it. The public gets to learn about my waifu galleries and fucked up search history of Anya Olsen incest porn
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darkphoenix181 posted...

What would you do?

Flood my internet history with piracy websites, mostly music, movies, tv shows, anime, academic journals, and then dare them to publish it.
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ChromaticAngel posted...

darkphoenix181 posted...

What would you do?

Flood my internet history with piracy websites, mostly music, movies, tv shows, anime, academic journals, and then dare them to publish it.

what you trying to hide hmm?
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Post on trump sites and ask for money and help and maybe become a millionaire or something
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"Lol, Republicans already want to sell that info anyways with their bill, what's one more thing?"
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I have nothing to hide except my porn history, which is incredibly vanilla. So I'll just tell them "do it, I don't care."
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Oh no, people are going to see all of my McHanzo and MShep/Kaidan fanfiction.
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darkphoenix181 posted...

ChromaticAngel posted...

darkphoenix181 posted...

What would you do?

Flood my internet history with piracy websites, mostly music, movies, tv shows, anime, academic journals, and then dare them to publish it.

what you trying to hide hmm?

I have literally nothing to hide. The worst thing in my internet history is furry porn. But by flooding it with piracy links, should they publish it, they'll get ubersued and it would be hilarious.

And visiting pirate websites in and of itself is not illegal.
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Go for it. They'll see steam stuff and botchamania.
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fenderbender321 posted...

I say "there's no way you have access to my internet history, you lying sacks of shits."

you doubt journalists with billions of dollars behind them that are paid to research dirt on you?
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Let them and then sue the hell out of them.
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fenderbender321 posted...

darkphoenix181 posted...

fenderbender321 posted...

I say "there's no way you have access to my internet history, you lying sacks of shits."

you doubt journalists with billions of dollars behind them that are paid to research dirt on you?

Even if they did somehow uncover literally everything I've ever done on the internet, them publishing it would be grounds for a major lawsuit against them.

you would lose
they have top notch lawyers

and then all your dirt is public
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I don't think anyone would be interested in what random **** I've looked up online
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Fuck CNN. They doxxed that kid over a gif....

Word has it cnn is in for cyber attack soon

fenderbender321 posted...

Even if they did somehow uncover literally everything I've ever done on the internet, them publishing it would be grounds for a major lawsuit against them.

Realistically, I don't think you could afford a lawyer to take on a giant like CNN.
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Jokes on them: I don't even have cable.
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Tell them to fuck off. No one gives a shit about my internet history. I don't even have anything particularly bad in it. Oh no, people might see I browse CE, KiA, post pictures of my kids on facebook, look up video game wikis for games I play, pirated The Lion King the other day, and watch porn webms on /gif.

Then maybe I'll see if Fox News is interested in a story about CNN blackmailing some rando on an obscure internet message board.
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My reply would be simple.

NUTS!

First thing I'd do is find a lawyer. Bollea v. Gawker 2.0.
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I'd tell them to go fuck themselves.
Not like I have anything that people would care about anyways. Just stuff related work, video games, movies, music, technology, YouTube/Netflix, some torrenting (legal torrents, don't mod me bro), other hobbies of mines, and then obviously some porn but I don't really have anything to hide there either considering I'm not into anything particularly out of the ordinary or shocking or anything. I doubt anyone is gonna give two fucks about any of it.

And even if I did have something I was shameful of I'd still tell them to shove it just on principal and I think I'd probably end up looking like the "good guy" online when the Reddit/4chan hoards here about them doing something like that to me.
Honestly the only reason I could see for anyone to give in is if they had super sketchy illegal stuff like cp or whatever in their history.
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They can see all the big titty porn I've looked up and get some good recs I guess >_>
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Tell them to fuck off

I could give two shits if people know I looked at some fucked up porn and am on Gamefaqs and Reddit
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and what? they're gonna' point out that I've been posting pics of CNN staff that have Jewish lineage?

that would be embarassing

I only submit to Brooke Baldwin.
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I would laugh and move on with my life.
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I would just incessantly research articles that made them look bad. That wouldn't take long and they wouldn't want to publish that.
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I'd let them do it. If I received any negative irl consequences I'd sue for intentional infliction of emotional distress. HanAssholeSolo is sitting on a winning lottery ticket. I wish he would speak to an attorney.
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Make an ad for my game, visit the page a thousand times, then let them publish my history on CNN.
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Double-dog dare them and then watch in their impotent rage as the act of doing so ends up more embarrassing/damaging for them then it ever does me.

I am The Goddamn Catgirl Fondler, I lost any sense of "oh noes, what will people think of my online activity" over 15 years ago, by and large because I realized I was hardly the only person looking up porn on the internet. Hell, it's hilarious enough that CNN is in hot water because of what they did to someone named "HanAssholeSolo" I can't begin to imagine the lols to be had if it was my username being plastered everywhere.
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