Poll of the Day > Dad doesn't want to work, is ashamed I won't give him my paycheck.

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KogaSteelfang
06/09/17 10:52:45 PM
#1:


He was cleared to return to work some time ago. My mom (our supervisor) is offering him 2-3 days per week, but he doesn't want to work those particular days, and instead has been taking all her extra money until now they don't have any extra and what she earns goes towards the bills.

He was complaining that he feels he deserves part of her check, and that now she can't just give him money to burn, that it's my responsibility to support him.

I told him that if he wants money that badly, he needs to work the days he's being offered and have his own money to spend. He asked if I was seriously refusing to split my paycheck with him (he wanted half), and I said yeah, that there's no reason that I should if he's able to work and has shifts available.

He told me that I'm a horrible son, that he's ashamed of me and I should be ashamed of myself. He said I'm only alive because of him, and I owe him everything.

At that point I reminded him of all the times he said he hated me, that I'm nothing to him, of all the needless beatings, and threats, of all the times he tried to kill me and my mom, of the bullets he kept with our names written on them. Of the time I had him arrested and got a restraining order on him. I told him I didn't owe him anything, especially not my life. That the life he's living now is far better than he deserves and that he should be rotting in prison instead.

He got mad and made some threats, said he should've drowned me as a baby like he wanted and tossed me in a dumpster. That he may just try again to kill us, and finish the job. However, he saw none of us were intimidated and were just shrugging it off, and he changed the subject. It was actually a very calm and civil conversation, which was really weird. He somehow honestly thought I didn't remember all that stuff just because I'd never brought it up before. >_>
I'm certain he's a legit sociopath.
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SkynyrdRocker
06/09/17 10:56:55 PM
#2:


You should move
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SmokeMassTree
06/09/17 10:57:06 PM
#3:


Anyone still believe this isn't a gimmick
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TonyCIifton
06/09/17 11:00:14 PM
#4:


SmokeMassTree posted...
Anyone still believe this isn't a gimmick

He definitely took the appropriate time off and is trying to deliver a quality topic for prime time Friday night. I give him 8/10 would read again.
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KogaSteelfang
06/09/17 11:00:20 PM
#5:


That's funny coming from the third leg of tinder slut gimmick triangle.
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Kana
06/09/17 11:17:36 PM
#6:


It sucks that you still have to deal with that terrible man, but good on you for standing up for yourself.
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wwinterj25
06/09/17 11:18:04 PM
#7:


KogaSteelfang posted...
He was complaining that he feels he deserves part of her check, and that now she can't just give him money to burn, that it's my responsibility to support him.


It's your mum and dad responsibility to pay for their bills, other living expenses equally and for the upbringing of your cousin. I understand you may pay less when not working but that doesn't wash here as he's been offered work. You don't live with them so should only pay your own rent, bills and living expenses.

KogaSteelfang posted...
He told me that I'm a horrible son, that he's ashamed of me and I should be ashamed of myself. He said I'm only alive because of him, and I owe him everything.


This mentality bugs me. Sure your dad had sex with your mum and had a kid but that's really where it ends. Nobody deserves a reward for bringing up a life they created and what your kid will become is due to their own way of getting through this life in most cases.

KogaSteelfang posted...
However, he saw none of us were intimidated and were just shrugging it off, and he changed the subject. It was actually a very calm and civil conversation, which was really weird.


Reverse physiology is a great thing. In most arguments folk tend to keep raising their voices to outdo each other. If however you talk to them calmly then chances are they too will respond back calmly. It's not easy though but it works. Of course the other option is to say nothing to them no matter how many times they stamp their feet. This is easy enough as drama is way too much effort and clearly your dad loves it.

SmokeMassTree posted...
Anyone still believe this isn't a gimmick


I've no reason to believe this is a gimmick.
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KogaSteelfang
06/09/17 11:29:13 PM
#8:


Kana posted...
It sucks that you still have to deal with that terrible man, but good on you for standing up for yourself.

Hopefully not for much longer. Like Skynyrdrocker suggested, I'm looking for a cheap place to move to. Of course, things can't be easy though, and my mom has seemingly attached herself to going with me and finally leaving my dad once I find a place... so... yeah, not exactly what I was hoping to achieve with that.

Also, I agree with winter, it should be the parent's responsibility to help the kids get on their feet and to support themselves. I literally earn the least of all my immediate family (except dad because hes nit working) and somehow manageto save more than the two of them combined. It's clear he's just spending any extra, but I don't know what it's spent on, they don't have anything.
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wwinterj25
06/09/17 11:32:16 PM
#9:


What I don't understand is how he actually expects you to give him half of your money that you've earned when you don't even live with them. What logic is that?
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KogaSteelfang
06/09/17 11:36:27 PM
#10:


I do live rent free in a place they own, so they could probably force my hand and get some out of me, but he didn't play that angle. Just said it was my responsibility as a son to support him when he needs it. The sad part is, if he truly needed it instead of just being lazy, I would have given him money (not half if every check though).
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Mead
06/09/17 11:38:15 PM
#11:


Tell him to quit being a turd and be more of a dad
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ClaudiaSAirola
06/09/17 11:40:51 PM
#12:


Start recording every conversation you have with him.
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KogaSteelfang
06/09/17 11:43:25 PM
#13:


ClaudiaSAirola posted...
Start recording every conversation you have with him.

I've been considering that, actually.
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What did the pirate say on his 80th birthday?
Aye Matey!
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wwinterj25
06/09/17 11:43:40 PM
#14:


KogaSteelfang posted...
I do live rent free in a place they own, so they could probably force my hand and get some out of me, but he didn't play that angle.


Ah. Well yeah in theory you should be paying rent and you would be if you moved out. Still this should make saving to move out a lot more easy for you.

KogaSteelfang posted...
Just said it was my responsibility as a son to support him when he needs it. The sad part is, if he truly needed it instead of just being lazy, I would have given him money (not half if every check though).


My dad thinks if he ever needed money he could just ask me or my siblings to give him cash. I made it clear I'd lend him money if he needed it but not give as if I wanted to finance someones life other than my own I'd have my own family. Not only that but my sister does have her own family so why would she want to finance him too? He never has asked for money though but it's just a odd mentality to have. I already pay half the bills because I live at home with him and I'm unemployed but even if I wasn't I'd have the same view.
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ClaudiaSAirola
06/09/17 11:45:36 PM
#15:


KogaSteelfang posted...
ClaudiaSAirola posted...
Start recording every conversation you have with him.

I've been considering that, actually.

Buy 1 now, your dad sounds unstable.
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helIy
06/09/17 11:48:10 PM
#16:


SmokeMassTree posted...
Anyone still believe this isn't a gimmick

it escalated very quickly
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helIy
06/09/17 11:49:30 PM
#17:


KogaSteelfang posted...
. It's clear he's just spending any extra, but I don't know what it's spent on, they don't have anything.

gotta inject those mari wanas
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KogaSteelfang
06/10/17 12:11:58 AM
#18:


He actually did say he wanted to buy weed. Afaik though, he's never smoked it, so idk.
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What did the pirate say on his 80th birthday?
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Firewood18
06/10/17 9:32:57 AM
#19:


Give him a marker and a piece of cardboard and drop him on the corner. If he makes a decent sign, I will usually buy it for a few bucks.
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Sarcasthma
06/10/17 9:41:23 AM
#20:


KogaSteelfang posted...
That's funny coming from the third leg of tinder slut gimmick triangle.

Oh shit, Koga laying the smackdown on SMT.
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Jen0125
06/10/17 9:46:32 AM
#21:


Dang son you stood up for yourself. Good job homie
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SmokeMassTree
06/10/17 11:18:56 AM
#22:


That's "the smackdown"?

My tinder topics have always been real.

I make more other topics.

I was the first one on this board to make tinder topics.
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Sarcasthma
06/10/17 11:19:43 AM
#23:


Okay, guy.
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Zareth
06/10/17 11:23:22 AM
#24:


You really need to get the fuck out of there Koga.
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wwinterj25
06/10/17 11:33:36 AM
#25:


SmokeMassTree posted...
That's "the smackdown"?


Yes. Now go and lay down in a dark room and question your life choices! Maybe even cry a little.
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Sarcasthma
06/10/17 11:37:15 AM
#26:


I've found crying a little to be extremely helpful when I question my life choices.
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What's the difference between a pickpocket and a peeping tom?
A pickpocket snatches your watch.
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VeeVees
06/10/17 12:27:38 PM
#27:


You should eat him.
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PKMNsony
06/10/17 12:31:40 PM
#28:


That sounds like my mom. She is horrible and no one talks to her anymore. My mom used the same line "I gave birth to you, you owe me!" Like no, you chose to give birth to me, I didn't choose you to give birth to me. If anything, YOU owe ME, but it doesn't work that way.
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helIy
06/10/17 1:25:14 PM
#29:


SmokeMassTree posted...
That's "the smackdown"?

My tinder topics have always been real.

I make more other topics.

I was the first one on this board to make tinder topics.

you may have created them, but like oreos, you're the one everyone thinks is an Oreo knockoff
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bulbinking
06/10/17 1:33:56 PM
#30:


KogaSteelfang posted...
That's funny coming from the third leg of tinder slut gimmick triangle.


Its okay sometimes sheltered people find it impossible to understand how evil some humans can be.

They are usually the same people wanting open borders.
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KogaSteelfang
06/10/17 2:21:17 PM
#31:


Jen0125 posted...
Dang son you stood up for yourself. Good job homie

Heh.

Zareth posted...
You really need to get the fuck out of there Koga.

I'm looking into it.

PKMNsony posted...
That sounds like my mom. She is horrible and no one talks to her anymore. My mom used the same line "I gave birth to you, you owe me!" Like no, you chose to give birth to me, I didn't choose you to give birth to me. If anything, YOU owe ME, but it doesn't work that way.

Sorry to hear you have similar issues. My mom pulls similar things sometimes, but she's not nearly as troublesome as my dad.
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Zeus
06/10/17 3:16:34 PM
#32:


SkynyrdRocker posted...
You should move


And also find a better employer.
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SmokeMassTree
06/10/17 6:25:22 PM
#33:


And also stop with this gimmick

It's played out and you just jumped the shark with it
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adjl
06/10/17 6:42:58 PM
#34:


Sounds like a lovely individual. Good on you for shrugging him off like that.
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KogaSteelfang
06/10/17 8:14:44 PM
#35:


SmokeMassTree posted...
And also stop with this gimmick

It's played out and you just jumped the shark with it

Sorry bud, not a gimmick. I don't care if you believe me or not, if it bothers you, use the ignore feature.

adjl posted...
Sounds like a lovely individual. Good on you for shrugging him off like that.

Thanks. :)
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What did the pirate say on his 80th birthday?
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Stupid Pirate Guy
06/10/17 9:06:55 PM
#36:


Good job standing up for yourself bro. Keep it up and he'll learn to stop messing with you.
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SmokeMassTree
06/10/17 9:19:26 PM
#37:


You do care if I believe you tho
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SmokeMassTree
06/10/17 9:22:52 PM
#38:


svdzyTI

6Geymnt

uQtam3L

Cep3mPG

lul7Sll
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KogaSteelfang
06/10/17 9:37:45 PM
#39:


I don't care any more though. It's obvious you're just trolling at this point.
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SusanGreenEyes
06/10/17 9:49:43 PM
#40:


SmokeMassTree posted...
svdzyTI

This is why sending pm s to fools is a bad idea!

Good job standing up to your dad, Koga!
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Kana
06/10/17 9:50:19 PM
#41:


Like shit man that PM is almost a year old, grow up.
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KogaSteelfang
06/10/17 10:09:03 PM
#42:


The only reason it bothered me back then was because he had been pretending to like me, and give advice, to suddenly follow along with the other trolls and decide I was a gimmick for literally no reason. It's no secret that I'm insecure and needy, so I don't really know what he's trying to prove other than I used to value his opinion.
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What did the pirate say on his 80th birthday?
Aye Matey!
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SusanGreenEyes
06/10/17 10:16:04 PM
#43:


KogaSteelfang posted...
The only reason it bothered me back then was because he had been pretending to like me, and give advice, to suddenly follow along with the other trolls and decide I was a gimmick for literally no reason. It's no secret that I'm insecure and needy, so I don't really know what he's trying to prove other than I used to value his opinion.

It's cool.
You don't have to explain yourself.
It's shitty when people re post private messages, especially if they're over a year old.
You're not the person in this situation who looks foolish.
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IAmNowGone
06/10/17 10:17:14 PM
#44:


Two things,

Smoke is awful and you should put him on ignore.


And

Koga you're clearly in an unhealthy situation. You need to get out. Your father sounds completely awful. You don't need to seek validation from internet losers.
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KogaSteelfang
06/10/17 10:32:01 PM
#45:


It's the only validation I get though. I was pretty bad about it for a while, but I think I've got my posting habits mostly under control now.
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IAmNowGone
06/10/17 10:41:44 PM
#46:


KogaSteelfang posted...
It's the only validation I get though. I was pretty bad about it for a while, but I think I've got my posting habits mostly under control now.


Either way your current living situation is awful. Leave. Inmediately.
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wwinterj25
06/10/17 10:42:20 PM
#47:


KogaSteelfang posted...
I don't care any more though. It's obvious you're just trolling at this point.

I wouldn't give haters the time of day man. You're a good person and it's good to see you have a backbone as others have said. A guy once said to me "There's a lot of bastards in this world, don't let them drag you down" and no truer words have been spoken.
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Questionmarktarius
06/11/17 1:52:31 AM
#48:


Does he at least want to bang on the drum all day?
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