Poll of the Day > Posted on Craigslist looking for a LTR.

(+) Yeah! (+)

Here is my post. Let me know what you think as I have not dated in over 20 years.

Hello,

My wife recently passed away after being very ill since 2010. I was a constant caretaker for her and miss having her in my life. I am ready to try and find someone else to share my life with. I have never been into casual relationships and hope to find someone to spend the rest of my life with.

I have a great sense of humor and try to enjoy everything in life. I love to cook, but love to eat even more, and would really like to find someone who also loves food (and hopefully cooks as well). I always took care of my wife, and would like to find a partner that would take care of me as well, not someone that is dependent on me for everything.

I enjoy science fiction/fantasy books/movies/shows and comedies as well. I love to read (Favorite author is Jim Butcher), and also enjoy playing video games (I own a ton of them). I do enjoy going out though and enjoy tennis/table tennis and have taken martial arts in the past. I would be happy to start hiking again and maybe river rafting eventually as well.

I am not in the best shape (Actually worst shape of my life) due to the last year being quite hard (tons of time in the hospitals, eating fast food etc). I'm working out now to get back in shape, but have a ways to go. I'm still fit enough to do anything, but I do have a bit of a gut for now. I have blond hair and blue eyes, and am 6" tall (with wide shoulders).

I am looking for someone who will be honest with me about what she wants, what she likes and is willing to share her life with me eventually. I'm great with kids (I have taught 1st and 3rd grade), and don't mind finding someone with kids. I own a large home with plenty of room for kids. I have a 17 year old cat named Siren who I love very much (she is the cutest, still acts like a kitten after all these years).

Please have your life at least somewhat together, with a job, transportation and things you enjoy/hobbies etc. Hopefully we will have some hobbies together, but I am always open to trying new things and exploring life. I do not do drugs or drink, although I have been trying a few kinds of beers lately, and I am fine with people who do legal drugs as well.

I love red hair and green eyes, but am attracted to personality over appearance for the most part. I would love you to be fit enough to enjoy traveling and hiking etc, since I really want to start doing that again. It would be great if you where into working out or some sport etc that we could do together (I have an exercise bike at home, but especially enjoy table tennis and I could buy one for my home if I had someone to play with regularly). I am a great cook and love food, so working out more would allow us to still eat yummy stuff, while I get back in shape:)

As far as work, I have managed companies in the past, including my wife's law firm, and also taught at the elementary level. I have a Masters in Education and BA in Communications. I am currently working taking care of a family but have applications out for a few Gov. positions and will probably start teaching again next year if I do not find something before then.

I am a caring, safe, responsible and sane person. I have no clue really how to find someone at this age, I have not dated since I was in my early 20's and the world is very different now. I do not do the bar scene and am not really interested in it. I hope someone awesome will read this and respond, as I would really love to find someone to share my life with.

Oh, I am not going to say no to anyone I really like/get alone with, but I would prefer someone my age or younger, and most importantly healthy. I am very burnt out on hospitals and sickness. I am healthy, able to travel etc, and want someone else who can do that with me. I love/care for everyone, but I need to actually have fun for awhile as the last 7 years especially where very hard.
---

tl;dr
---

CountessRolab posted...

tl;dr

Ack, hope it isn't too long winded for anyone to read, figured it was important to give enough info about myself and what I was looking for.
---

Too much information. Don't need to tell them your whole life story. Leave some details for when you actually have a date.

Just put what you're looking for, some of your interests. Okay to put your body type and stuff but don't say things like "I'm in the worst shape of my life".

Don't go into too much detail about your wife, you'll give the impression that you're not over her, or that you're carrying a lot of emotional baggage they don't want to deal with.

Keep it brief and to the point, and stay away from all the sob story stuff. They'll find out the details later.
---

Go on OKCupid or match.com or some shit, not craigslist.
---

you might find a freaky hookup on craigslist, but you aren't gonna find a long term relationship there

you can't really put an ad out for that, either.
---

Ahh ok.

I checked out match.com but they wanted me to sign up to actually email members etc, and it seemed a bit like a scam.

I'll check out OK Cupid and see if that is better.

Yeah, not looking for a freaky hookup at all.

I have a tendency to be long winded, really gonna have to work on streamlining and not telling my life story.

Blah, want to tell everything about myself right away lol....which is probably not a good idea anyway as there is no mystery left then.

Thanks for the advice:)
---

match.com has been around for as long as i can remember, it's not a scam
---

helIy posted...

match.com has been around for as long as i can remember, it's not a scam

Sure it is.

Just find a girl in this mythical place called "outside".

Since I failed miserably at it, and since I am perhaps the antithesis to every other PotDer, you will surely find another one there.

There's no reason to write your entire life story in an ad.
---

Erik_P posted...

There's no reason to write your entire life story in an ad.

You write yours in your sig

Shorten it to this:

"Wife's dead. Me horny. Bring your vagina."

Let's test out that so-called sense of humour you've been telling us about. :)

I'm teasing. I'm really very sorry to hear about your wife. That must have been incredibly hard for you and her, and I really wish you all the best. I have to say that while what you wrote is long-winded, I don't think that's such a bad thing. Most men aren't long-winded (but I am) and I'd have to say that I think long-winded people are better communicators and certainly good listeners. I think a woman would actually dig having that much info. Many of the women I work with always complain that their husbands never talk or listen.
---

TheWorstPoster posted...

Erik_P posted...

There's no reason to write your entire life story in an ad.

You write yours in your sig

Did you think you were actually clever?
---

Erik_P posted...

Did you think you were actually clever?

More than you could ever be

moxxidude posted...

Shorten it to this:

"Wife's dead. Me horny. Bring your vagina."

Let's test out that so-called sense of humour you've been telling us about. :)

I'm teasing. I'm really very sorry to hear about your wife. That must have been incredibly hard for you and her, and I really wish you all the best. I have to say that while what you wrote is long-winded, I don't think that's such a bad thing. Most men aren't long-winded (but I am) and I'd have to say that I think long-winded people are better communicators and certainly good listeners. I think a woman would actually dig having that much info. Many of the women I work with always complain that their husbands never talk or listen.

Thanks, honestly I just tried to say what I would like to hear from someone, but it may be a bit too much for many all at once. If everyone was honest and just posted what they where looking for, I think it would be easy for people to find each other, but I know enough to realize that is not how it works most of the time. Even my wife pretended to like video games etc when we first met (and didn't tell me about her debt etc). I hope I can find someone honest about who she is, what she wants etc...and to do that I figure I need to be honest and tell them who I am as clearly as possible.

Still probably not a great idea to try and do all that in my introduction post lol.
---

just use tinder

LaggnFragnLarry posted...

just use tinder

Isn't tinder primarily for hookups?

Not what I'm looking for at all.

Don't get me wrong, I like sex, but honestly miss companionship and having someone be part of my life more. Being alone blows.
---

you can find a long lasting relationship on tinder. ive been banging this one girl for over a year now

Erik_P posted...

TheWorstPoster posted...

Erik_P posted...

There's no reason to write your entire life story in an ad.

You write yours in your sig

Did you think you were actually clever?

i actually kinda that it was little funny

Good luck Wolfy.
---

green dragon posted...

Erik_P posted...

TheWorstPoster posted...

Erik_P posted...

There's no reason to write your entire life story in an ad.

You write yours in your sig

Did you think you were actually clever?

i actually kinda that it was little funny

i laughed.
---

Personally, I haven't had any success with OkCupid. I feel like it encourages you to divulge too much information about yourself giving others more reason to disqualify you. I've had much more success with POF. It's a nice middle ground between OkCupid and Tinder.

wolfy42 posted...

I have a tendency to be long winded, really gonna have to work on streamlining and not telling my life story.

Blah, want to tell everything about myself right away lol....which is probably not a good idea anyway as there is no mystery left then.

It's good that you want to be honest and up front with people, but you don't want to overwhelm them with so much heavy stuff right at the beginning. Dating is supposed to be fun. Just try to highlight the good, fun things about yourself and your interests. No need to lie or mislead anyone, just save the heavy stuff for later. I wouldn't even bring it up in the first date, unless it comes up naturally. And even then, I wouldn't dwell on it much. Try to steer the conversation toward other things.

Again, not that you should feel the need to hide things necessarily. Just don't want to freak anyone out or overwhelm them right at the beginning.

And I agree that a "proper" dating site is better for you than Craigslist.

And good luck!
---

Craigslist is legit. I met my fiancé there. Leave all optioms open.

Fucking hell. That's one long ass 'ad'. Honestly try to summarise it more and perhaps leave the really personal stuff out of it. I mean opening with "my wife recently died" is very heavy for a ad.
---

Wow, went to bed early last night (had already gotten one response from a single mother with a special needs child), and just woke up to another 5 replies. Gmail is freaking cool, since it lets you chat with people basically right from the email (just stopped using my aol account as my main email since it kept dropping/losing emails).

Everyone wants to text though sigh. I have an iphone now (upgraded from my old cell awhile ago), but I still hate texting (big hands + little text buttons = frustration). I can type well over 100mph....so it's so frustrating to try to text stuff.

Anyway, they all seem pretty cool so far, but since most happened after I went to bed I just replied to the initial response. One literally responded at 4:18 am though (not sure why she is up so late, but most of them look much younger then me as well).

Is it normal for everyone to just give you their phone number right away? Of the additional 5, three of them gave me their numbers and told me to text them.

Oops just got a response back from the one who emailed me at 4:18. This is so different then I expected.
---

Nade Duck posted...

green dragon posted...

Erik_P posted...

TheWorstPoster posted...

Erik_P posted...

There's no reason to write your entire life story in an ad.

You write yours in your sig

Did you think you were actually clever?

i actually kinda that it was little funny

i laughed.

Yeah @Erik_P, that was legitimately funny.
---

Well, the 4:18 girl lives in Florida....so yeah. Glad I asked right away, didn't think people would respond from so far away. Hope some of the others are local. I did post my location.

Alot of them look quite young/hot etc, which makes me a bit leery as well, I mean I know I don't look my best right now (Actually have an interview on Monday so i'm gonna get a haircut/shave today and dress up, so I'll probably take some new pics after that), so I didn't expect models to start responding to my post lol.

Oh well, see what the other responses are, if nothing else this is a learning experience.
---

Yeah Craigslist definitely isn't where you would want to go for a serious relationship.
---

Ok, the girl from Florida is willing to move here to live with me. Here was her most recent reply.

"Hi Good to hear from you did you really like me ?if yes distance has nothing to do with relationship like i told you i can move down to you , all we need is honesty and caring , i am single never married with no kids i am 30 years old, i live alone in jacksonville Florida, i am the onoy child of my parents and i lost them three years ago , really seeking a honest man we can build a happy home together..have you date any lady online and did you really want to be serious with me i am okay with your pics and i will always stay honest with you..i dont smoke or drink, i am into arts design but not working now looking for a better job soon...looking to hear from you soon .."

The girl could be a model though from her pics, I mean yeah, I'm looking for someone to build a life with, but this seems pretty crazy to me. I can't imagine someone looking like that couldn't find someone close by easily. She would probably have honest but rich guys falling all over here.

Think this falls under the category of "if it looks to good to be true.....it's a TRAP!!!"
---

What is an LTR?
---

wolfy42 posted...

Ok, the girl from Florida is willing to move here to live with me. Here was her most recent reply.

Ugh, stranger danger

Mead posted...

What is an LTR?

Long term relationship
---

wolfy42 posted...

Ok, the girl from Florida is willing to move here to live with me. Here was her most recent reply.

Sorry to be a pessimist, but if a person is willing to move across the country for a guy that posted a craigslist add, something seems kiiinda fishy. Like,it's either some type of scam or she is cray cray.


Unless she meant date online first for awhile then if things work out, she wouldn't mind moving.

My question for her is why the hell is she on the craigslist for Olympia(that's where you live, right)? Doesn't that seem a bit odd?

Also the picture thing...maybe we have different standards, but I doubt they look like models. I mean, perhaps they did at one point in their lives, but the pics they are sending could be super old.

RCtheWSBC posted...

Long term relationship

So not Tolkien related then
---

RCtheWSBC posted...

Go on OKCupid or match.com or some shit, not craigslist.

Yeah that or eharmony or the other old people dating sites.

You're going to get spam and weirdos on Craigslist.
---

Florida girl has terrible English so I'm going to assume it's a scammer from another country (welcome to Craigslist). Be very wary of sending money to her.

Push for a video chat with her asap.
---

Yeah, it seems off to me as well, and I have seen the show catfish, so yeah, models that want to live with you from across the country seems.....fishy as you said.

Maybe young guys looks at a body like that and just start drooling and stop thinking with their right head, but yeah, it doesn't make sense. I certainly don't want to discriminate against very good looking women, it's just that the number of guys they could choose from (including many honest/caring/decent ones) is pretty large. There really can't be much reason for someone like that to need to meet and then move in with someone across the country from them.

Also, yeah, why look at CL in olympia if your in Florida? Even the girl from Seattle was kinda out there (it's like 2 hours away). She was also extremely hot, and eventually said she was a massage therapist so perhaps she was looking for a new client?

Still, I have a few responses form women who seem legit so far and are seriously interested. One just wants to be friends first for instance which sounds great to me. So it may not all be bad. Can't hurt to make a few new friends if nothing else.
---

SmokeMassTree posted...

Push for a video chat with her asap.

Or just stop talking to the person entirely >__> seems like a waste o' time from here
---

Mead posted...

RCtheWSBC posted...

Long term relationship

So not Tolkien related then

Lol.

It was missing an O anyway (as many long term relationships do for women).

I wish I liked the LoTR books:(
---

RCtheWSBC posted...

SmokeMassTree posted...

Push for a video chat with her asap.

Or just stop talking to the person entirely >__> seems like a waste o' time from here

Shrug, I'm bored and it doesn't hurt to just chat. Certainly not going to send her money etc.
---

RCtheWSBC posted...

SmokeMassTree posted...

Push for a video chat with her asap.

Or just stop talking to the person entirely >__> seems like a waste o' time from here

It could be a very hot 30 y/o with terrible English tho. Worth a simple question of "can we video chat"

Have you reverse image searched the pics she sent? I'd do that right away. Post them here or pm me if you don't know how.
---

Here is one of her pics.

http://imgur.com/a/SvyvY
---

Yeah I'm not even going to search it. That's not a real person you're talking to.

Sorry bud.

Seriously tho try the older people dating sites. Craigslist is a terrible place.
---

I imaged searched it and one of them does come up as being in jacksonville florida, but......others come up with the same pic and different names.
---

Yeah, pretty much figured that lol. I will try some others later, but will check out a few of the other responses a bit more, some seem pretty cool and just looking to be friends first etc. Seems more legit to me then someone who wants to move in after reading my post lol.
---

Just be careful dude

There are a lot of good people out there but there are also some that will ruin your life and take advantage of your trust if you give them the chance
---

If you're have the extra couple dollars a month sign up for one of the paid sites. You'll find less bots and more serious people. For what you're looking for it sounds like your best option.

If you were just looking to get your dick wet or a fwb I would absolutely recommend tinder.
---

Mead posted...

Just be careful dude

There are a lot of good people out there but there are also some that will ruin your life and take advantage of your trust if you give them the chance

Yeah, thanks, I will.

I'm not a kid or delusional and think the hottest women in the world are going to jump on me because i'm special lol. Looking for someone real and not someone who is suddenly in love with me without even meeting me first.

Least I got some replies, even if half of them seem crazy/scammers, it's better then like total silence.
---

SmokeMassTree posted...

If you're have the extra couple dollars a month sign up for one of the paid sites. You'll find less bots and more serious people. For what you're looking for it sounds like your best option.

If you were just looking to get your dick wet or a fwb I would absolutely recommend tinder.

While not exactly what I'm looking for, a FWB situation would be fine as well. Heck just more real friends (men or women) would be nice. I just am usually too tired to go to the meetup.com activities lately (there is another board game one today at 1pm, but I doubt I'll make it).

Tinder though would require me to use the annoying little text buttons on my iphone...which I hate. I mean it's a possibility eventually, but I don't see why they couldn't make tinder available on the pcs...so we could actually use a freaking keyboard. Don't they realize there are guys with large hands out there? Texting, even on an iphone is still basically condensed frustration for me.
---

Yeah, you're just old. It's okay.

Get you an iPhone 6/7 plus and you'll never have to worry about "small" buttons again.
---