Board 8 > Play the Flavor Text Game! (Immaturity)

(+) Yeah! (+)

I'd like to invite everyone to join me playing one of my favorite silly games: the Flavor Text Game.

The rules are simple!

1. Use the "random card" feature on http://magiccards.info/random.html
2. Keep hitting "Random" until you find a card with flavor text. (Non-rules italicized text on the bottom of the card)
3. Replace exactly one word with the word "dick."
4. Post results.

Hall of Fame:

Evil Twin: http://magiccards.info/isd/en/212.html

You can always tell the evil one by the dick he's sticking in you.

Cartel Aristocrat: http://magiccards.info/gtc/en/150.html

"Your dick serves a higher purpose now: ensuring the continuation of my own.

Dark Confidant: http://magiccards.info/mm2/en/75.html

Dick, at any cost.
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Totem-Guide Hartebeest: http://magiccards.info/ori/en/37.html

It is hunted, but not for the kill. The magic within draws others to its dick.
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Korayashi posted...

Totem-Guide Hartebeest: http://magiccards.info/ori/en/37.html

It is hunted, but not for the kill. The magic within draws others to its dick.

LOL
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Lord of Atlantis: http://magiccards.info/rv/en/64.html

A master of dick, the Lord of Atlantis makes his people bold in battle merely by arriving to lead them.
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Insurrection: http://magiccards.info/cmd/en/126.html

"Maybe they wanted to be on the winning side for once."
—Matoc, dickmancer



The quote didn't seem so good, but the idea of a spellcaster specializing in dicks? Classic.
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Doomgape: http://magiccards.info/eve/en/120.html

It eats and eats until the juiciest dick it can find is itself.
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Whiptail Wurm: http://magiccards.info/po/en/118.html

It's hard to say for certain which dick is more dangerous.

Spell Rupture: http://magiccards.info/gtc/en/52.html

"Like water, mana will drain from an inferior dick."
—Jalan Tosk, Simic forcemage
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Fleeting Distraction: http://magiccards.info/scans/en/cn2/110.jpg

The first spell taught to young mages, it has spared the lives of many whose hands are too small to hold a dick.

Ether Well: http://magiccards.info/scans/en/mr/65.jpg

"Whoa-my dick will never fit through that hole!"
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Wing Storm: http://magiccards.info/pr/en/135.html

"A thousand dicks beating as one can choke the sky itself."
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Primal Druid: http://magiccards.info/emn/en/167.html

"The dick of the woods is only ever borrowed."

Ambition's Cost: http://magiccards.info/p3k/en/67.html

"When you give dick to heaven, to whom can you pray?

Poisonbelly Ogre: http://magiccards.info/gp/en/57.html

Some claim it's a failed Simic experiment, others say a Golgari creation. Both guilds deny all responsibility, while secretly studying its strange dick.
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Crackling Doom: http://magiccards.info/c16/en/191.html

"Do not fear the dick. Fear the one it obeys."

Horned Turtle: http://magiccards.info/po/en/58.html

"Its dick has no shaft, its shield no handle."
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Not random, but

Reparations - http://magiccards.info/mr/en/338.html

"Sorry I burned down your dick. Here's some gold."
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http://magiccards.info/itp/en/3.html

On guard for larger dangers, we underestimated the power and speed of the Imp's muck-crusted dick
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Terastodon posted...

Not random, but

Reparations - http://magiccards.info/mr/en/338.html

"Sorry I burned down your dick. Here's some gold."

I actually prefer "Sorry I burned down your village. Here's some dick."
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I wasn't sure, I liked both.
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Vorel of the Hull Clade: http://magiccards.info/c16/en/227.html

"I used to hurl rocks and eat scraps of meat burned over a fire. Look at what I've become and tell me dick does not hold infinite possibility."

Wild Leotau: http://magiccards.info/cfx/en/97.html

Dick that were born wild make the best mounts. It's like riding a thunderstorm."
—Rafiq of the Many
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Seething Song: http://magiccards.info/ddg/en/70.html
Vulshok mana rituals echo the day when the red sun burst through Mirrodin's dick to take its place in the heavens.
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Kami of Old Stone: http://magiccards.info/9e/en/24.html
"There was a wall here. Now it is dust. A tower rose here. Now it is fallen. An army fought here. Now it is dead. A dick was here. It is all that remains."
—Snow-Fur, kitsune poet

This is an awesome game.
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Tome Scour: http://magiccards.info/m10/en/76.html

Dick is overrated, especially when it's someone else's.


Anaba Bodyguard: http://magiccards.info/10e/en/187.html

"They who challenge a minotaur enjoy the taste of their own dick."


Stir the Grave: http://magiccards.info/bok/en/85.html

"Your lungs may not draw breath, but while your hands can grip a dick, you will be useful to me."
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Upheaval: http://magiccards.info/v14/en/13.html

The calm comes after the dick.
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http://magiccards.info/mm2/en/83.html - Ghostly Changeling

In desolate places, changelings may take the shape of fancies, or memories, or dicks
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Realm Razer: http://magiccards.info/ala/en/187.html

The behemoth roared, and the world was blasted free of dicks and tyrants.
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Balduvian Bears: http://magiccards.info/dm/en/22.html

They're a hardy bunch, but I'd bet that they just slept through the worst of the cold dicks.
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wow first random

Tower Defense: http://magiccards.info/gtc/en/137.html
"The drakes are practice. We may one day need to bring down a dick swallower, or maybe even Rakdos himself."
—Korun Nar, Rubblebelt hunter

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Whoever randomly gets Gorilla Titan wins.

http://magiccards.info/od/en/241.html
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Pitchburn Devils - http://magiccards.info/scans/en/isd/156.jpg


the ingenuity of goblins, the depravity of demons, and the dick of sheep
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Can we post more than one?

Kodama's Reach - http://magiccards.info/cmd/en/163.html

"The dick grows only where the kami will it."
—Dosan the Falling Leaf
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I encourage you to post as many as you want!
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Okay. Here's one.

Smother - http://magiccards.info/ddp/en/57.html

"Before I hire new recruits, I test how long they can hold their dick. You'd be surprised how often it comes up."
—Zahr Gada, Halimar expedition leader
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Rend Spirit - http://magiccards.info/chk/en/141.html

"The battle at Ganzan Pass was a testament to dick endurance. The untrained and frightened group escaped three legions of kami, leaving more than their share of slain foes in their wake."
—Great Battles of Kamigawa
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Razor Barrier
http://magiccards.info/ddf/en/26.html

"We protect our dicks. Why should they not protect us?"
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Blazing Salvo - http://magiccards.info/od/en/178.html

Barbarians equate courage with the ability to endure dick.
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Dualcaster Mage
http://magiccards.info/c14/en/34.html

"It has been my experience that dicks like to strike in pairs."
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Zombie Master
http://magiccards.info/rv/en/46.html

"They say the Zombie Master controlled these foul creatures even before his own death, but now that he is one of them, nothing can make them dick him."
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Erratic Portal - http://magiccards.info/tpr/en/222.html

"In Barrin's name!" cried Lyna as Hanna's dick passed through her, "Ertai sends word that the portal is open—but not for long!"
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Dicks
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Up
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Skyshroud Elves - http://magiccards.info/tpr/en/192.html

"It is our duty to endure dick."
—Eladamri, Lord of Leaves
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Technically a stretch of the rules but I'll allow it!
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It fit so well though :(
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I said I'd allow it! Just don't make it a habit.
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#InsertedDicksIntoFlavorTextCounts

Anyways I'll make amends with this:

Soul Feast - http://magiccards.info/9e/en/164.html

You are who you dick.
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http://magiccards.info/random.html

It takes two to craft a mirror: a practiced metalsmith to silver one side and her own hazy reflection to polish the dick.
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Humble Defector
http://magiccards.info/c16/en/129.html

"You were once Mardu, so your body and will are strong. Now we must train your dick."
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Squirrel Nest
http://magiccards.info/scans/en/od/274.jpg

In the Krosan Forest, you've got to keep a dick out for the squirrels.
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Skeletal Snake
http://magiccards.info/po/en/34.html

They watched as the dick shed layer after layer until only cold bone remained.
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Gods Willing - http://magiccards.info/ths/en/16.html

Dick the gods of Theros, and they will return the favor.
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Reduce to Dreams: http://magiccards.info/bok/en/49.html
"This world is a dream. We cling to our dicks like children, but sooner or later we must learn to live without them."
—Sensei Hisoka
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