I've been hiding it from you all because i don't want to bring attention to it or something, I guess.
So, I was with my girlfriend for over a year. We're perfect for each other, and she was already convinced from the beginning that we were perfect for each other. And she wants to spend the rest of her life with me. And it's the same for me. I absolutely love her and she absolutely loves me.
But... she kind of made a drunken mistake. Nothing really severe, but still pretty bad. So me being me, I of course forgave her and just wanted to get past all of this. But she was absolutely pissed at herself and felt all kinds of regret and guilt. Blah blah, this is a long ass story now that I don't feel like getting into. It's been going on for months. We were basically on a break so that she could figure out whatever she was going through at the time, she needed some time alone. So she moved out. But we were still technically "dating" as far as I was concerned.
Then... I don't know what happened. It was getting better around Christmas. Now it's gotten worse. We're now officially broken up and I haven't been dealing with it too well. Which is why I've been drinking alone a lot.
I really miss her, but I'm getting better. Especially now that HOPEFULLY, if all goes well, I'll get to be a bartender. I'm working on getting the license now. If that works out, I should be able to get myself back on track. I was always the type of person who cared about everyone else above myself and I always just wanted to find the right girl and stay with her forever. I found her, and I was the happiest I've ever been. Then all this s*** happened and this is the most depressed I've ever been in my life (and I have a history of depression). I still believe we're perfect for each other, she just needs to do some soul searching and growing up, and so do I. Honestly I think we'll still end up together, but in the mean time, I'm single. And I... really hate it.
Um... I'm not sure if I've said everything I needed to say. I am drunk right now after all. I guess that's it.
I hope I don't regret posting this.
-- ~Halo Rolling around at the speed of sound. http://img593.imageshack.us/img593/2417/sonicspeed.jpg
I've been in this same situation before, I know how it goes. And the biggest thing you need to do is get yourself to move on for now. I feel like a jerk saying that, because it's really hard to do, and it's not something that can just be done. But distancing yourself from her for now will stop your brain from dwelling on it too much. And the fact that after some time apart, things are even rockier says you probably won't get back to where you were. I was once with the girl who was perfect for me, she did stupid stuff, and life sucked while I tried to find a way to patch it up. Later down the road I found this girl who's perfect for me, and now I live with her, and life is good. You'll bounce back.
Getting yourself back on track is exactly what you need to be doing. It'll help pull you away from these distractions. Then once you've put yourself in a position of being an awesome person again, you can resume being awesome. And if you feel depressed or anything, remember that she's the one who made a mistake. That depression and regret should all be on her, let her deal with it. Your life can only go up from right now, and that's a good thing to know.
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ONLY FIVE CAN LADDER. Sushi, kamikaze, fujiyama, nippon-ichi...
That's.... very accurate. I've been distancing myself from her. As I said, I've been getting better. I'm realizing that SHE made a mistake, not me. I shouldn't be the one suffering, yet I am. Why? I never did anything wrong and I don't deserve this. I was absolutely good and perfect to her. She screwed up. She's at fault. I need to move on. And that's what I plan to do.
At least for now. I still think that we could make it work if she grows up and gets her s*** together. And I would love that. I don't give up on people easily. I've only had two girlfriends before her and I was in love with both. I still have feelings for them and always will. That's just how I am. But the love I had for them doesn't compare to what I had for this girl.
She's even said to me several times that I deserve better than her. But I don't WANT better. I want her. And I hope one day she does grow up and want to come back. I look forward to that day. But until then, I need to focus on other things, like getting my job and personal life on track, and maybe having sex with other girls too because why not.
Really, I don't think she'll ever find someone as good as I was to her. And she always felt the same. So hopefully she remembers that before I find another girl to love.
-- ~Halo Live, fight, survive, as a family. http://img267.imageshack.us/img267/7469/batfamily.jpg
Well I'm not THAT drunk. Just enough to make me a little happier. I've learned that being drunk makes me dream about her more when I go to sleep, for some reason. And they're not good dreams.
From: ShadowHalo17 | #001 Then... I don't know what happened. It was getting better around Christmas. Now it's gotten worse. We're now officially broken up and I haven't been dealing with it too well. Which is why I've been drinking alone a lot.
Do I really need to say why this is a very bad idea?
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Something something something ^Poorly disguised anti-caps sig
From: Lightning Strikes | #014 Do I really need to say why this is a very bad idea?
No.
Being drunk makes me happy. I know alcohol is technically a depressant, but it literally makes me feel better. So whatever.
And as some people have pointed out, I'm still not actually completely alone, because I'm on the internet and interacting with people virtually. So there's that.
-- ~Halo Live, fight, survive, as a family. http://img267.imageshack.us/img267/7469/batfamily.jpg
Yes, nobody has ever suffered from attempting to drown their sorrows in alcohol.
It's not going to help you. It may, however, make things much worse in the long run. If you want to legitimately feel better, I suggest attempting to resolve your feelings while sober. If you just turn to alcohol you'll likely just wind up hurting yourself.
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Something something something ^Poorly disguised anti-caps sig
Of course. I'm well aware of that. Alcoholism runs in my family, so I'm either gonna hurt myself in the long run, or I'm going to wake up and realize that alcohol isn't the answer.
I suspect it'll be the latter, once I get a job and my life on track again. Until then though, I'm going to enjoy my alcohol. I suggest you not worry too much about it right now. If it's still going on in a month or so, then yeah... maybe you can be concerned or whatever.
I suppose that's fair enough, but a lot of the time the only way to stop such things is to stop them from the beginning. Still I trust that you won't let this sort of thing recur.
Also... What everybody else said. You haven't done anything wrong in this situation, so you just need to accept what happened and move on. And frankly while this doesn't seem like a nice thing, I can tell you from experience that hoping you'll get back together somewhere down the line is a bad thing to do and you should try and avoid that. It's a hard thing to do, I know that man, and it is at times impossible to rule out completely, but you're much more likely to make yourself suffer emotionally by clinging to that idea. You need to move on, and if you two do get back together, great! But it's not something to count on, I would say. The important thing is to let yourself move on from this right now, whatever happens in the future. Either way you'll surely find happiness along the line!
As for the sex thing, have no fear. For you are on the internet, and is it not written, "The internet is for porn"?
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Something something something ^Poorly disguised anti-caps sig
Frankly, you need to do some growing up. A) A girlfriend of more than a year doesn't necessarily mean "MARRY THAT HO" B) Use this time to figure out what YOU want to do. You're you, not you plus one. Honestly, the best women go for guys who know themselves.
And you, quite frankly, do not. You're too busy dwelling in your own sorrow. Get rid of that and you might become a functioning member of society.
J mean, I love you, but you're pathetic.
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"SMOKEDOG42O taught me how to feel love, but fetus taught me how to make love." - Pablo Escobar
No you're completely correct. I've already decided that I need to grow up and really figure out who the f*** I am. But I do honestly appreciate you backing that up.
The reason I thought she was the one was because SHE was convinced from the beginning that I was the one for her. Like she legitimately told me several times that she could never find someone better than me and that she always wanted to be with me.
Then all this s*** happened and I don't know.
Whatever. Doesn't matter. She needs to grow the f*** up too, just as I do. Maybe then it could work out. I do still hope that happens, but if not... I'll find someone else. I just don't give up on people easily. Which makes it even more difficult to move on...
-- ~Halo You're not the brightest. http://img404.imageshack.us/img404/907/bandfinisher.jpg
From what I read, you're coping with this well. I really don't have much to add to what's already been said. Just don't cling onto the hope that she may come back to you too much. Adopt the mindset that if that actually happens, it'll be a nice bonus. But don't have an expectation for it to happen or anything. Besides, even if you think you'll never meet someone you love so much (or even more), it just might happen! Life's full of surprises. You gotta be positive and confident in yourself, that's very important regarding success with women.
And yeah, alcohol is cool, but you should stay within certain limits. You are aware of that, of course.
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If you like Blitzball, try Captain Tsubasa II (in English) for NES! Top games: http://unikgamer.com/users/vlado-309.html
I need to learn how to go out to bars and interact with single girls and stuff. I'm sure if I was drinking it would be easy. But then there's the problem that any bar worth going to wouldn't be within walking distance.
Also I don't really have a "wingman" to help me out. So... I don't know.
-- ~Halo Give into the Night. http://i10.photobucket.com/albums/a125/ShadowHalo/haloshadow1.gif
From: ShadowHalo17 | #001 So me being me, I of course forgave her and just wanted to get past all of this.
Here's your problem
You should've just backhanded her and yelled at her. I assume she slept with some guy while drunk or whatever but I dunno. Even if you didn't really care that much about the cheating, you should've just asserted you dominance so she wouldn't leave you.
-- _foolmo_ 'he says listen to my story this maybe are last chance' - ertyu quoting Tidus
She did technically cheat on me though. And she felt terrible and guilty about it. She owned up to it right away. I know she wouldn't have done it if she was sober, but she was dumb enough to think she wouldn't do anything under alcoholic influence, since she thought she had control of herself. Obviously she didn't. I really think we could work out some time in the future, IF she just grows up and gets her s*** together. I would love for that to happen and still hope it does happen.
If not... then I just hope I can find someone else that I can actually trust.
-- ~Halo Now you learn the mistake of challenging me. http://img408.imageshack.us/img408/2734/hieis.jpg
So Nee... just wondering, how long did it take you to find the next love of your life and where did you find her?
I tried looking for another girl for a while after, but I feel at first I was wanting to do it out of revenge towards her or because I missed her. And of course I was terribly unsuccessful at that point, especially it was my first time trying the bar hunting scene and I had no clue there.
After about a year, I had talked to a couple girls and tried going on a couple dates that were no good. Maybe it helped to get those in, helped me realize how you just can't connect with some people. So, after about a year I met a girl that I seemed to hit it off with. (lol internet dating was working a bit more often than going out to find girls, that's as much detail as I'll give on how I met her)
If you can, make a point to hang out with friends. You don't have to tell them all what happened, but just being able to spend some time with people will be good because that's part of what you're missing. Also, looking at my backloggery, it appears I became focused on buying and beating all the super hard video games I could find when I was feeling down. Maybe that fights depression. <_<
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ONLY FIVE CAN LADDER. Sushi, kamikaze, fujiyama, nippon-ichi...
W...wow. I've been wanting to try the bar scene, but since I haven't had a chance to do that... I have joined a few internet dating sites as well. It isn't working out of course, because I refuse to pay, but still... I just wanted to see what it was like to date other girls and whatnot. I still have yet to find out. But I'm trying. I feel like I need those types of experiences.
if you're just after sex, club scene. if you live in a place that throws parties for damn near any reason, those work too. if you want meaningful relationships, neither of those. or the bar. <__<;
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The King Wang. Listen up Urinal Cake. I already have something that tells me if I'm too drunk when I pee on it: My friends. - Colbert.