Board 8 > Anagram ranks anything Star Trek-related with a short writeup (spoilers)

(+) Yeah! (+)

Eventually, I'll get bored and abandon this topic. Post anything Star Trek-related, as I have the shameful title of "Guy who's seen every episode of Star Trek," though know that I have read only a few comics and not played any video game.

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that time the rock laid the smackdown on seven

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Q

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Anagram, the person with the shameful title of "Guy who's seen every episode of Star Trek"

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that time the rock laid the smackdown on seven
I have absolutely no interest in wrestling, except to occasionally watch youtube videos about the worst wrestling gimmicks in history, so seeing the Rock in Star Trek meant nothing to me. I'll admit it is weirdly interesting to see such a non-Star Trek guy in the show, though. This was way before the Rock's acting career, right? As far as I can tell, he's a more successful wrestler-turned-actor than all the others combined.

Q
Q is probably the most misunderstood character by the writers in the franchise. Q is not just an omnipotent alien who messes around with humans; he's like the god who tests the best of humanity to see if they're worthy. That's why it makes sense for him to bum around with Picard -- because he's the best example humanity has to offer. Him being obsessed with the archaeologist lady in DS9 makes no sense, him showing up in VOY and doing more wacky shenanigans makes no sense, and apparently he's going to show up in LD soon and do more wacky things. Despite this, TNG Q is still so wonderful and well-done that I nevertheless like the character a lot.

Anagram, the person with the shameful title of "Guy who's seen every episode of Star Trek"
Obviously the smartest and sexiest man on Board 8.

Assimilate This Tier
Q

Make It So Tier
Anagram

Kirk Fighting the Gorn Tier
The Rock's Appearance on Voyager

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RedLetterMedia's Picard Re:Views

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The fact that DS9 and Babylon 5 have the same setting and essentially the same focus and first aired within weeks of one another

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The episode Timescape (TNG)

The Rules of Acquisition

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That Futurama episode with the Star Trek characters.

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Naomi Wildman

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RedLetterMedia's Picard Re:Views
Where did Star Trek go wrong? Several places, actually, but the most important place is Discovery. RLM shares my disdain for modern Star Trek, and Mike and Rich are extremely good at picking it apart and explaining why just everything is wrong. I especially like Rich's whining about the Romulan ninja who thinks "Choose to live" is a cool thing to say before decapitating someone; it's nearly identical to my own whining.

DS9/Babylon 5 Similarities
People always say that these series are very similar. Here're the similarities: there's a space station run by humans that becomes more important than originally intended, there are ancient space gods who dick around with mortals for whatever reason, the shows emphasize long-form storytelling in an era when episodic was more popular, the captain has to deal with inane alien arguments and disputes, and several actors left the shows over time for whatever reason, having their absences worked into the plot. They really aren't that similar.

Timescape (TNG)
The Next Generation might be the most comfy show out there, at least for me. I can just slap on any episode except the one about the planet of African savages with spears and feel so good. Timescape is emblematic of that; it's just another good episode in a series of good episodes made when the show was at its peak. I even knew the episode just by its title. TNG has like five standard templates for episodes, and 'Characters must solve a science thing' is probably the least consistently good -- but this time it works very well. Picard, Geordi, Deanna, and Data must solve a science thing while a Romulan tries to stab them in the face.

The Rules of Acquisition
Easily the best Ferengi-related idea in the franchise. Having rules/advice for how to behave in society is something that every culture comes up with, but formalizing them into this format isn't. To make a terrible comparison, it's something like the Ferengi code of chivalry or bushido; it's their idea of honor written down into a format that's both funny and fittingly alien. It allows the Ferengi to constantly emphasize that their worldview is different from the hoo-mons', but still makes logical sense. Probably the best use of the Rules of Acquisition is when Quark uses them to out-logic a Vulcan, which is perfection.

Where No Fan Has Gone Before (Futurama)
An excellent send-up of Star Trek fandom. Mellvar is the perfect annoying fanboy, and making him an energy being is an inspired choice. The idea of Star Trek becoming almost a religion and having to be outlawed in the future is funny, and getting the actual actors (sans DeForest Kelley, who was dead, and James Doohan, who just refused) really sells the episode.

Naomi Wildman
You'd think that the show that's set on a single ship that can't reach the rest of the Federation would have the fewest recurring characters, but you'd be wrong. Voyager never let something like continuity stop it from introducing new crewmembers every week. And before you say that Naomi was born on the ship, yes, I know, but she was born like two years after the last time her mother had sex with her father. This is canon. And don't say she's part-alien, shut up. As a character, Naomi is mostly notable for allowing Seven to interact with a non-Starfleet person and grow as a person. The only real Naomi moment I can think of is when the ship finds the psychic whale that shows you what you want to see, and everyone sees a portal to Earth except Naomi, because she's never been there and just wants to stay with everyone. That's cute, but I can't really imagine anyone having a strong opinion about her.

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The Beginning of Wisdom Tier
The Rules of Acquisition

Assimilate This Tier
Q
Where No Fan Has Gone Before
Timescape

Make It So Tier
RedLetterMedia's Picard Re:Views
Anagram

Kirk Fighting the Gorn Tier
The Rock's Appearance on Voyager
Naomi Wildman
DS9/Babylon 5 Similarities

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I was about to nominate Kirk vs The Gorn just to see what youd say until I noticed it got its own tier.

This video: https://youtu.be/3rYMykaNW6s

Just to clarify, I wouldn't necessarily put the things I name the tiers after in those tiers. I like the shlocky parts of Star Trek as much as the serious parts.

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The sound of the TNG Warp Core

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DydIK14AvXI

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Mike and Rich's Top 5 TNG episodes

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Warp 10

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Wolf in the Fold

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The rape-gangs from Yars tragic backstory

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The line "It's a fake!" divorced from any episodic context

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Flaunting Danger Clip
I'm gonna level with you: I am not impressed by this clip. I've seen a ton of TNG meme edits in my day, and this is not one of the better ones.

TNG Warp Core Sound
I have unironically listened to this in my free time. Sometimes, when people are in the room watching something I just can't tolerate, I'll put on my headphones and drown it out with this. The warp core in general is one of Star Trek's best ideas and sets.

Mike and Rich's Top 5 TNG episodes
Mike's top five:
5. The Best of Both Worlds (Parts 1 and 2), 4. The Drumhead, 3. Tapestry, 2. Disaster, 1. The Nth Degree.
Rich's top five:
5. The Measure of a Man, 4. Deja Q, 3. Chain of Command (Parts 1 and 2), 2. Cause and Effect, 1. Who Watches the Watchers?

Except for The Nth Degree and Deja Q, this is a pretty standard list of fan-loved TNG episodes. I would certainly not put Disaster, The Nth Degree, or Who Watches the Watchers this high, but so be it. I also don't actually like the Drumhead as much as most people, but that's a personal thing. Overall, this is not as impressive a top 5 list as I was expecting.

Warp 10
Ah, the famous Voyager version of Warp 10, where it's a theoretical maximum where if you reached it, you'd be in all places in the universe at once and turn into a salamander. People overlook this part, but that's also the episode where Neelix doesn't understand the concept of infinity and just thinks it means "very, very fast." Honestly, for good for or for ill, Threshold is probably the defining Voyager episode.

Wolf in the Fold
What is with Jack the Ripper and sci-fi? He shows up a lot. Speaking of Babylon 5 similarities! Anyway, this is notable mainly because it's one of the few Scotty-centric episodes. It's also the episode that's kind of weirdly sexist? The premise for why they're on the planet in the first place is that Kirk wanted to take Scotty to a night club after a bad breakup so he wouldn't hate all women forever. Despite this, the episode has a lot of clever science-y ideas for how to fight a magical ghost that possesses humans and computers, such as to just tranquilize everyone or to tell the computer to calculate pi to the last digit to flummox it up. It's a perfectly good TOS episode, basically.

The Rape Gangs of Turkana IV
Early TNG has a lot of "what" moments, and the rape gangs are certainly one of them. Like, it's bizarre to begin with that Roddenberry includes a failed colony world that descends into anarchy in his vision of the future where humanity evolved to be better than the modern day, and that the Federation would apparently just let the anarchy continue instead of sending in a police force, but setting all of that aside, rape gangs? Not even normal gangs that sometimes rape, but gangs that assemble for the explicit and exclusive purpose to commit rapes? It makes so little sense. The only thing about the rape gangs that makes any sense at all is that they serve as a believable reason why Yar would be fanatically devoted to the Federation for rescuing her.

It's a Faaaaaaaaake!
I wonder how much of a meme this line would be if DS9 had come out today. I guess we'll never know. Divorced from context, it's just a Romulan holding a USB drive and scream-whispering, which is kind of funny, but not that funny.

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The Beginning of Wisdom Tier
The Rules of Acquisition

Assimilate This Tier
Q
TNG Warp Core Sound
Where No Fan Has Gone Before
Timescape
Wolf in the Fold

Make It So Tier
RedLetterMedia's Picard Re:Views
Mike and Rich's Top 5 TNG episodes
Anagram

Highly Illogical Tier
The Rock's Appearance on Voyager
It's a Faaaaaaaaake!
Naomi Wildman
DS9/Babylon 5 Similarities

Get the Cheese to Sickbay Tier
Flaunting Danger Clip

This is the Power of Math, People Tier
Warp 10
The Rape Gangs of Turkana IV

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Night Terrors

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Galaxy Quest
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"Duet"

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Black Mirror - USS Callister

For the Uniform

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Jesse_Custer posted...

Black Mirror - USS Callister

Choose a new one, I still havent seen this and plan to later, so I cant look it up for fear of spoilers.

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This
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bl5TUw7sUBs

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Anagram posted...

Choose a new one, I still havent seen this and plan to later, so I cant look it up for fear of spoilers.

Oh god watch it soon it's great

Night Terrors
This is the first episode so far that I misremembered. I thought this would be the one about aliens that abduct you while you sleep and do experiments, but instead, this is the one where Troi floats in a void to talk to extradimensional psychic aliens who need hydrogen to free both ships from a space rift. Like most Troi episodes, this is a completely forgettable outing, sorry.

Galaxy Quest
Pretty much the perfect send-up of Star Trek.

Duet
The best episode in DS9 s1, Duet is about what happens if a minor Nazi concentration camp guard gets guilty and pretends to be a big name so he can get caught on purpose and expose his peoples' crimes in a trial. Kira slowly comes to realize that not all Cardassians are evil, but another Bajoran doesn't get the memo and kills the guy anyway just because he's a filthy spoonhead. Very solid episode.

For the Uniform
Eddington is probably the least interesting subplot in DS9? I feel like way more could have been done with the idea of someone betraying Sisko. He gets betrayed multiple times, in fact, and every time nothing is really done with it, except when Gul Dukat does it. I like the idea of Sisko becoming steadily more willing to break the rules to defeat Eddington, but the wrap-up of the episode where it turns out that Eddington poisoning a planet with anti-Cardassian juice and Sisko poisoning a planet with anti-human juice just means that the entire population of both planets can switch places is kind of ridiculous.

Data & Picard
So good, it's been part of my iTunes playlist for like a year.

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The Beginning of Wisdom
The Rules of Acquisition
Data & Picard

Assimilate This
Galaxy Quest
Q
TNG Warp Core Sound
Where No Fan Has Gone Before
Timescape
Duet
Wolf in the Fold

Make It So
RedLetterMedia's Picard Re:Views
Mike and Rich's Top 5 TNG episodes
Anagram

Highly Illogical
For the Uniform
The Rock's Appearance on Voyager
It's a Faaaaaaaaake!
Naomi Wildman
DS9/Babylon 5 Similarities

Get the Cheese to Sickbay
Night Terrors
Flaunting Danger Clip

This is the Power of Math, People
Warp 10
The Rape Gangs of Turkana IV

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I thought some of the visuals of the episode were perfectly creepy, like when Crusher is in the morgue and there's all those bodies in white sheets, and they all start to rise up at once. It's just some fantastic creepy imagery to me, real spine-chilling stuff.

Tribbles

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Geordie's Epic Maneuver

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The way that DS9 just completely ignores how the possession of Siskos mom by a wormhole alien was a horrific example of both mental and physical rape.

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That time Data fucked the Borg Queen

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Technobabble
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Tribbles
Tribbles are a great insight to the mind of a troubled idiot. Edward, a minor Starfleet biologist, is reassigned to climatology by the new captain on her first day. He files an anyou know what I can't even do this, I hate Discovery, it's well-established, let's move on.

Tribbles are great. They're a really clever and simple take on the 'alien rodent' concept. It's completely believable that everyone would think they're cut right up until they become a giant problem, and it's believable that the Klingons would view them as some kind of scourge. 10/10, flawless execution.

Geordie's Epic Maneuver
I hope LeVar Burton realized how silly this looks when he made it. What really sells this is that Geordie does this roll maneuver to get through the slowly descending door, but he has enough time left to look back and see that he could have made it through if he'd started after he finished. I get that with the budget they had, they couldn't make the door descend faster without endangering the actor, but this is just peak funny-bad.

God Aliens Not Respecting Consent
I probably shouldn't even title this with this, since Q actually does respect Janeway's no (points for Q, I guess), but I'm going with it because there's another god alien that doesn't respect Zefram Cochrane's refusal. It's true that the show does not give even the slightest thought to the implications of this revelation. Whenever I rewatch DS9, I always forget this part until it happens, it's so, so uncomfortable. Of note: Sisko himself doesn't seem to care at all.

Data x Borg Queen [robo][tf][buzzsaw]
See, the idea of tempting Data to the dark side is interesting because Data normally doesn't feel emotions, so he has no experience with bribery or temptation (there's an episode of TNG where a Klingon tries to bribe him, and Data is so unused to the idea that when he realizes what's happening and the Klingon sees that the bribe won't work, he pretends to be offended at Data 'misunderstanding' him to avoid it getting reported to Picard). So on the one hand, this is a really clever idea. But I hate the Borg Queen. I hate her in concept as well as execution, but even if we accept that there needs to be a queen "to bring order to chaos" (barf), why does she need to be sexually attracted to mortal beings? She should be aroused by turning planets into space zombies, not by a slightly doughy Brent Spiner.

Technobabble
Honestly, I don't mind it when they put effort into it. The TNG writers are better about this than anyone else (including DS9), where the extent of it is usually Geordi saying "We can get the transporter to work again if we use a transphasic inversion coil," but VOY really goes all-out. I don't want to turn every writeup into a DIS rant, so I'll just say that DIS also abuses technobabble.

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The Beginning of Wisdom
The Rules of Acquisition
Data & Picard
Geordie's Epic Maneuver

Assimilate This
Galaxy Quest
Q
Tribbles
TNG Warp Core Sound
Where No Fan Has Gone Before
Timescape
Duet
Wolf in the Fold

Make It So
Technobabble
RedLetterMedia's Picard Re:Views
Mike and Rich's Top 5 TNG episodes
Anagram

Highly Illogical
For the Uniform
The Rock's Appearance on Voyager
It's a Faaaaaaaaake!
Naomi Wildman
DS9/Babylon 5 Similarities

Get the Cheese to Sickbay
Night Terrors
Flaunting Danger Clip

This is the Power of Math, People
Warp 10
God Aliens Not Respecting Consent
The Rape Gangs of Turkana IV

Find Him and Kill Him
Data x Borg Queen [robo][tf][buzzsaw]

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Anagram posted...

Geordie's Epic Maneuver
I hope LeVar Burton realized how silly this looks when he made it.

Oh, he is absolutely aware. Did you not notice how he did a send up to it himself with the Epic Maneuver 2.0 in Generations?


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redrocket posted...

Oh, he is absolutely aware. Did you not notice how he did a send up to it himself with the Epic Maneuver 2.0 in Generations?

I don't remember that at all.

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The Kirk is a Jerk shirt from the animated series

Anagram posted...

I don't remember that at all.

https://youtu.be/iN001iUenmU

Check out the roll at the end of this clip. Especially the way he sticks the landing!

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redrocket posted...

https://youtu.be/iN001iUenmU

Check out the roll at the end of this clip. Especially the way he sticks the landing!

Oh man, this is great. It slightly improves my opinion of Generations, in fact.

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Raemes T. Quirk from Space Quest V

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Galaxy Quest

PerfectChaosZ posted...

Galaxy Quest

Anagram posted...

Assimilate This
Galaxy Quest
Q
Tribbles
TNG Warp Core Sound
Where No Fan Has Gone Before
Timescape
Duet
Wolf in the Fold

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The Riker Lean

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oof fine how about the Abrams Reboot-verse

Spock trying to save Kirk by getting Khan's regenerative blood, leading to a fistfight on a moving vehicle in a Star Trek movie, when they had like eighty superhuman popsicles on their ship with the same enhancements just chillin'

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Combadge

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Children of Time

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Gowron
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