Poll of the Day > My long time friend won't be my friend anymore because she got a boyfriend

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MICHALECOLE
07/23/20 4:03:26 AM
#1:


And it makes him uncomfortable when we text

fuckin stupid if you ask me
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LinkPizza
07/23/20 4:06:48 AM
#2:


It is. I think it's dumb when people let their SOs tell them who they can hang out with and talk to... My best friend's SO felt it was weird when I hung out with her a lot. I think he's finally come around, though...
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hypnox
07/23/20 4:11:08 AM
#3:


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LinkPizza
07/23/20 4:15:54 AM
#4:


hypnox posted...
100% he cheating.

Honestly, I'd believe that...
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FatalAccident
07/23/20 4:48:29 AM
#5:


MICHALECOLE posted...
And it makes him uncomfortable when we text

fuckin stupid if you ask me
It is.

But Ive spoken about it with two of my close female friends and weve come to accept that its a real possibility and well just need to deal with it. Realistically there isnt much you can actually do, which kinda sucks.

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SunWuKung420
07/23/20 7:19:04 AM
#6:


That's not a mutually respected relationship, that's a dictatorship.

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Nichtcrawler X
07/23/20 7:31:42 AM
#7:


Tell him you are friends, he cannot and should not try to control that and he should not project his infidelity on others.

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Far-Queue
07/23/20 7:42:07 AM
#8:


Get a burner phone and catfish the boyfriend, draw him into your web of lies and when he finally meets you at a hotel room to seal the deal, wear a mask to conceal your identity, make him the bottom and send pics of the liaison to your friend.

She'll dump him for cheating, and you'll get laid. Win/win

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adjl
07/23/20 8:06:07 AM
#9:


Just tell him "don't worry, we haven't slept together in over a week. You're fine."

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wwinterj25
07/23/20 12:42:22 PM
#10:


Here is me thinking only guys get "whipped".

LinkPizza posted...
It is. I think it's dumb when people let their SOs tell them who they can hang out with and talk to...

Indeed. Any type of controlling behaviour in a relationship is dumb unless you're into that type of thing. I never understood when some folk are like "I don't let my SO do this or that". I can only assume it's a trust thing.

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Mead
07/23/20 1:23:02 PM
#11:


You should beat him up

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Aculo
07/23/20 1:23:41 PM
#12:


that's hilarious, ok?

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ok?
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Zeus
07/23/20 1:25:11 PM
#13:


Welcome to the exciting world of male-female friendships.

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wwinterj25
07/23/20 2:45:09 PM
#14:


Zeus posted...
Welcome to the exciting world of male-female friendships.
I may not know much of anything about these type of things but from what I've seen and do know not all people in relationships are control freaks. Perhaps it was different for you during the war though.

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ClarkDuke
07/23/20 3:01:54 PM
#15:


hypnox posted...
100% he cheating.
this, so much, ok?

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faramir77
07/23/20 5:09:23 PM
#16:


Most my friends, male and female, are like that. Marriage makes it even worse.

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JCvgluvr
07/23/20 5:39:16 PM
#17:


Or maybe the guy just wants to strengthen his connection with his woman? You're all acting like the boyfriend forced her to end the friendship. What if it was a mutual agreement between them both, in order to focus their emotional bond between one another? What if it's a form of protection, for then both?

I've seen a lot of childish responses in here. I see where TC is coming from. Change can be hard. But you have to grow up and accept that life changes. People change. Don't try to fight it, cause that only makes it worse.

Who knows? Maybe those two will break up, and the girl will come back to TC with an apology? Just relax, and see what life brings your way.

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wwinterj25
07/23/20 5:41:42 PM
#18:


Nothing like telling someone who they can't be friends with to strengthen bonds. I also suggest he locks her in a cage in the basement and takes all her credit cards. All for love of course!

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SilentSeph
07/23/20 5:44:12 PM
#19:


My friend had a control freak wife who would police his hangouts with male friends and even family members. They're divorced now.

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Nichtcrawler X
07/23/20 5:45:29 PM
#20:


JCvgluvr posted...
Or maybe the guy just wants to strengthen his connection with his woman? You're all acting like the boyfriend forced her to end the friendship. What if it was a mutual agreement between them both, in order to focus their emotional bond between one another? What if it's a form of protection, for then both?

Sounds like you need to listen to the Spice Girls.

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LinkPizza
07/23/20 6:45:15 PM
#21:


JCvgluvr posted...
Or maybe the guy just wants to strengthen his connection with his woman?

You can strengthen bonds without controlling their friends..

JCvgluvr posted...
You're all acting like the boyfriend forced her to end the friendship. What if it was a mutual agreement between them both, in order to focus their emotional bond between one another? What if it's a form of protection, for then both?

Because it sounds like he did. He said the boyfriend said it made him feel uncomfortable when they text. Just because he's a male, I would guess. Also, protection from what? From MICHALECOLE? If he was dangerous, she would have just stopped being friends with him herself.

JCvgluvr posted...
I've seen a lot of childish responses in here. I see where TC is coming from. Change can be hard. But you have to grow up and accept that life changes. People change. Don't try to fight it, cause that only makes it worse.

But why should you give up a friend just because their SO doesn't like your gender. That's a dumb reason for change. Maybe the boyfriend should grow up and understand that males and females can be platonic friends...

JCvgluvr posted...
Who knows? Maybe those two will break up, and the girl will come back to TC with an apology? Just relax, and see what life brings your way.

Easy for you to say when you're not the one losing a long time friend. There's no reason to just dumo a friend while dating someone else...
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MICHALECOLE
07/23/20 6:56:56 PM
#22:


I am dangerous
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Zeus
07/23/20 7:20:46 PM
#23:


wwinterj25 posted...
I may not know much of anything about these type of things but from what I've seen and do know not all people in relationships are control freaks.

This stuff is pretty common. Just because it's not 100% doesn't mean it doesn't happen all the time.

faramir77 posted...
Most my friends, male and female, are like that. Marriage makes it even worse.

Yeah, that same distancing happens with male friends in relationships, but it's usually not as hard a stop.

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wwinterj25
07/23/20 7:46:20 PM
#24:


Zeus posted...
Just because it's not 100% doesn't mean it doesn't happen all the time.

That's that cleared up then. I trust in Zeus.


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DDirtyDastard
07/23/20 8:46:03 PM
#25:


Pretty normal TBH. Most of my female friends' boyfriends/husbands were like that.
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Greenfox111
07/23/20 8:52:36 PM
#26:


i mean do you have feelings for her tho

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MICHALECOLE
07/23/20 9:09:16 PM
#27:


Greenfox111 posted...
i mean do you have feelings for her tho
Nah were just homies. Or were, I guess. She was my go to for random texts, so we did text a lot, but its just because we were homies with similar senses of humor
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OhhhJa
07/23/20 9:11:54 PM
#28:


hypnox posted...
100% he cheating.
Naw, its at least 50/50 cheating or just plain insecure. It's not necessarily always misplaced insecurity though because often times one or the other does have some type of feelings (usually the guy). I mean, i know from personal experience where an ex of mine had to cut off her long time friend after he confessed those kind of feelings one day which I knew was the case all along lol. They don't usually hide it well.

But also, women and men can obviously just be friends and nothing more
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Gaawa_chan
07/23/20 9:16:27 PM
#29:


*shrug* Tell her that an S/O that wants to control your other relationships isn't an S/O worth having.

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dedbus
07/23/20 9:19:15 PM
#30:


Fair next
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Wanded
07/23/20 9:22:38 PM
#31:


This kind of thing happened with some of the girls i know as well

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zebatov
07/23/20 10:02:40 PM
#32:


I have a number of friends in that situation. I just dont bother messaging because doofus is always going to be a turd. Although, I do have one friend I met in the merch line at the last Slayer concert (she was selling merch) whose boyfriend is not a dink. I ran into him at a pub the other day and hes pretty cool.

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LaggnFragnLarry
07/23/20 10:10:23 PM
#33:


have you asked about having a threesome?
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MICHALECOLE
07/23/20 10:33:25 PM
#34:


Gaawa_chan posted...
*shrug* Tell her that an S/O that wants to control your other relationships isn't an S/O worth having.
That would make me just as controlling as him. If she thinks he is more important than our friendship, thats her decision. No hard feelings, just an eye roll and a shrug.

dedbus posted...
Fair next
Think so? You an insecure sally as well?

LaggnFragnLarry posted...
have you asked about having a threesome?
He already doesnt like me, I dont want to embarrass him as well
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Metalsonic66
07/23/20 10:35:45 PM
#35:


LaggnFragnLarry posted...
have you asked about having a threesome?
This guy asking the real questions

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ClarkDuke
07/24/20 6:30:38 PM
#36:


MICHALECOLE posted...
He already doesnt like me, I dont want to embarrass him as well
well there's your problem. you obviously have to seduce him privately, bang a few times, then you suggest the threesome, ok?

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LinkPizza
07/24/20 6:55:44 PM
#37:


ClarkDuke posted...
well there's your problem. you obviously have to seduce him privately, bang a few times, then you suggest the threesome, ok?

@MICHALECOLE

I can teach you how to seduce him. And how to make him want more. When should we start the lessons?
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FrndNhbrHdCEman
07/24/20 7:21:15 PM
#38:


This topic got sexy fast.

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MICHALECOLE
07/24/20 7:38:55 PM
#39:


ClarkDuke posted...
well there's your problem. you obviously have to seduce him privately, bang a few times, then you suggest the threesome, ok?

LinkPizza posted...
@MICHALECOLE

I can teach you how to seduce him. And how to make him want more. When should we start the lessons?

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Lil_Bit83
07/26/20 11:01:07 PM
#40:


Sounds like a control freak. When an SO tells you you can't be friends with other people, its definitely a red flag.

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Revelation34
07/26/20 11:09:31 PM
#41:


JCvgluvr posted...
Or maybe the guy just wants to strengthen his connection with his woman? You're all acting like the boyfriend forced her to end the friendship. What if it was a mutual agreement between them both, in order to focus their emotional bond between one another? What if it's a form of protection, for then both?

I've seen a lot of childish responses in here. I see where TC is coming from. Change can be hard. But you have to grow up and accept that life changes. People change. Don't try to fight it, cause that only makes it worse.

Who knows? Maybe those two will break up, and the girl will come back to TC with an apology? Just relax, and see what life brings your way.


Found the boyfriend.
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