Poll of the Day > My mother-in-law has now menstruated on my couch for the THIRD time.

(+) Yeah! (+)

Gray cloth couch. Fucking stain shows up like the warning beacons of Gondor. Only so many fucking times I can flip these cushions over.

How the fuck does a grown woman not know how to keep from bleeding on everything??!!
---

Buy a plastic sofa cover and use it when you know she's coming over.
I wish I were joking.

My grandmother used to keep one on her couch 24/7.
---

That's a paddlin'.
---

You should menstruate on something of hers to get her back.
---

Bruuuuh lol...how to even address this?

Talk to your wife?
---

RCtheWSBC posted...

Bruuuuh lol...how to even address this?

Talk to your wife?

yeah wtf

how can she be that old and not realize she needs to change her pad or tampon
---

Wow. Me thinks she isn't happy with you.
---

First off, make sure she is alright health wise. It could be a embarrassing health issue she doesn't want to tell anyone. If she is and she is just being nasty or gross then you need to talk to your significant other about it. Cause if there is nothing wrong with her she is doing it on purpose. But it's best to find out if she has a medical condition, before pursuing other ways to deal with it.
---

SusanGreenEyes posted...

Buy a plastic sofa cover and use it when you know she's coming over.

This.
---

Get her some THINX period proof underwear

Tell her to start menopause ffs, aren't y'all in your 30s?
---

Poppie peed on my sofa!

Zangulus posted...

First menstruation, shame on her.

Second menstruation, shame on you.

Third menstruation, burn the couch.

Please buy a new couch.
---

RCtheWSBC posted...

Bruuuuh lol...how to even address this?

Talk to your wife?

---

Zangulus posted...

RCtheWSBC posted...

Bruuuuh lol...how to even address this?

Talk to your wife?

HONEY, GET YOUR MOM'S PUSSY OFF MY GOD DAMNED COUCH!

Lmao
---

SusanGreenEyes posted...

Zangulus posted...

First menstruation, shame on her.

Second menstruation, shame on you.

Third menstruation, burn the couch.

Please buy a new couch.

maybe a nice burgundy one?
---

Next time you go to her house, chuck a salmon in the attic when nobody is looking.
---

Next time you visit, leave her a present on her couch.
---

have your kids shit on her couch every time you go over there
---

Jen0125 posted...

SusanGreenEyes posted...

Zangulus posted...

First menstruation, shame on her.

Second menstruation, shame on you.

Third menstruation, burn the couch.

Please buy a new couch.

maybe a nice burgundy one?

---

Make her buy you a new one. :/
---

Melon_Master posted...

Make her buy you a new one. :/

Honestly, if I left anything objectively unpleasant on somebody's couch, at the very least I'd pay to have it cleaned properly.
---

TheCyborgNinja posted...

Melon_Master posted...

Make her buy you a new one. :/

Honestly, if I left anything objectively unpleasant on somebody's couch, at the very least I'd pay to have it cleaned properly.

After the third time, I would tell her she just bought herself a couch.
---

Sit her down and, as uncomfortably as possible, ask her if she has any medical issues. And be sure to say "grown women shouldn't be bleeding through their pads/tampons" to drive the point home that what she's doing isn't acceptable/normal
---

Holy Menstruation
---

PK_Spam posted...

Sit her down and, as uncomfortably as possible, ask her if she has any medical issues. And be sure to say "grown women shouldn't be bleeding through their pads/tampons" to drive the point home that what she's doing isn't acceptable/normal

And for the love of all things holy, video tape it.
---

Maybe where she's from this is normal?

Maybe she's too embarrassed to address The sitch?

What s it smell like?

Are her walls loose?

She's asserting her dominance over you and your property
---

PK_Spam posted...

Sit her down and, as uncomfortably as possible, ask her if she has any medical issues. And be sure to say "grown women shouldn't be bleeding through their pads/tampons" to drive the point home that what she's doing isn't acceptable/normal

that's if she's even wearing any, which i assume she might not be if this keeps happening
---

StarKnight23 posted...

Holy Menstruation

, Batman!
---

Aaaaaand TC just reminded me of the time I had to clean a blood trail left by a female customer, going from the bathroom to the exit -_-
---

I could understand it happening once, but three times? She needs to do something about that.
---

She's aware of it when it happens, and she expresses embarrassment, which makes it all the more confounding as to why she doesn't take more precaution in preventing it.

As far as myself or my wife talking to her about it, I'll just reiterate that she knows this is happening. I won't take her to task over it out of respect for my wife, and my wife won't take her to task over it out of fear of retribution (mother-in-law is known to harbor hard grudges for years on end).

A little backstory: MIL is very inappropriate towards men involved with her relatives, including myself, her brother-in-law, her other daughters' boyfriends, etc. Inappropriate as in overtly flirtatious, bordering sexual assault. I've been groped, had her rub her titties in my face, she nibbled my ear once when giving me a hug. Doesn't hide this at all, mind you. She'll do this right in front of my wife. I've spoken to my wife about how uncomfortable it makes me, but my wife will never talk to her mom about it, for the aforementioned reason. Her mom is just a little wild and weird, and my wife would rather try and put up with it than risk her punishing us by refusing to visit or even talk to us for years on end over any perceived slight.

I appreciate some of the suggestions (and the jokes, I laughed at a lot of the posts in this thread), but I was just blowing off some steam. Just have to chalk it up to crazy in-law behavior, and wash the cushion covers yet again.
---

Seriously, if that's the case then she may be doing this out of spite or to get attention, as messed up as this sounds.
Buy the plastic couch cover next time she visits.
---

You should hand her a towel the next time she comes over and ask her to sit on it.

Remember to smile the whole time.
---

Far-Queue posted...

As far as myself or my wife talking to her about it, I'll just reiterate that she knows this is happening. I won't take her to task over it out of respect for my wife, and my wife won't take her to task over it out of fear of retribution (mother-in-law is known to harbor hard grudges for years on end).

As said before buy a cover for the seat or something. That way you're not talking to her about it but are pointing out it's a problem.
---

wwinterj25 posted...

Far-Queue posted...

As far as myself or my wife talking to her about it, I'll just reiterate that she knows this is happening. I won't take her to task over it out of respect for my wife, and my wife won't take her to task over it out of fear of retribution (mother-in-law is known to harbor hard grudges for years on end).

As said before buy a cover for the seat or something. That way you're not talking to her about it but are pointing out it's a problem.

Plus, everyone has to sit on the covered couch, so you're not singling her out or confronting her.
---

Yikes

The worst thing my mother in law does is drink like a demon and smoke tons of weed
---

I thought my MIL was bad.

I guess dealing with her somehow getting ill or injuring herself inexplicably so that she had to stay extra days is not the worst. (This happens once a year or more).
---

Is she wearing a skirt when this happens, or is she bleeding through some pants?
---

Clearly this is very unusual. How she reached this age without having the necessary presence of mind to KNOW WHEN to change her.....erm support accessories is dumbfounding.

Well, unless she has a serious medical condition.

Perhaps you can prepare a sofa protector that you can drape on the couch; kinda like a mattress protector so that it'll absorb the stuff and make it inconspicuous.

Also, a good talk with your wife so that she may relay the concern to her mum is a good and sensitive move to consider.
---

jesus.

my mother in law just feeds my dog unhealthy shit

it's gotten better. i told her she can feed him beef jerky, if she must give him something.

so she buys him beef jerky, and leaves it here, so i eat it.

i love my dog, but not enough to give him beef jerky.
---

yutterh posted...

It could be a embarrassing health issue she doesn't want to tell anyone.

Can't tell if serious.

I don't how this can be an accident, especially since it has now occurred three times.
Why isn't she going into the bathroom as soon as she arrives at the house and making sure everything is acceptable before sitting down, especially if this has happened before?
---

Next time she comes over hand her and say "from now on you will be sitting on this"
---

Bugmeat posted...

Next time she comes over hand her and say "from now on you will be sitting on this"

...his hand...?

Hmm. Not sure how the words "a towel" ended up missing from the post. I'm sure I typed them.
---