Current Events > Got into a fight at the park last night.

(+) Yeah! (+)

Some of you remember my previous topic about this girl's BF mouthing off to me on the phone. Basically, I have been sweet talking her while he is at the gym and I was ready to invite her over to "watch a movie" with me when he answered the phone. We exchanged some words, I told him that I was going to fuck his girl, and I challenged him to a battle of honor at a local park nearby.

I told him to show up at 8:00, so that we didn't run into a crowd of people. This park is usually dead, there aren't any actual play areas for kids, just a basketball court and some callisthenic workout racks. I told him to meet me in the shady area by the pullup bars. The thing is, he didn't know what I looked like, and I knew what he looked like because I had seen pics of him from my friend's phone before.

Anyways, I told him to meet me at 8:00PM, but I decided to show up 40 minutes early to scout the place out. Since I told him where to meet me, I knew where he'd be approaching from. So, I dressed in all black, tied a t-shirt around my head, and climbed into a tree near the meeting place and waited for him. Like I anticipated, he showed up at 8:00 on the dot, and was pacing around looking for me.

He was really heated, shadow boxing a bunch, throwing his fists around, talking shit at the air, and he was walking around a lot. I think he wanted me to see how hyped up he was while I was approaching to sort of scare me. Well, that was a big fucking mistake, because the dude wound up pacing just underneath the tree I was hiding in, and I dropped on top of him and tackled him to the ground. Dude never saw it coming. So, I drop onto him, he crumples, and before he can get up, I kick the dude as hard as I could in the ribs. He let out a really loud "OOOMFFFFF", but he was getting up to his feet again real fast. I was glad I didn't pick a fair fight with this guy, because even with the sucker punch he was still in the game!

So, since he was getting up to his feet, I basically sized up how fast he was getting up, took two steps back, and then laid a really sloppy haymaker as hard as I could into his jaw. Knocked him to the ground AGAIN. At that point, I told him that he goes down faster than his GF. Dude got pissed, because now he knew for sure that he was dealing with the guy on the phone. So he bull charges me and knocks me off my feet. He was faster than I expected and he took me off guard. He pulled my ninja mask off my face, and started punching me. Just laying into me, punching me over and over again, even busted my nose open and I was bleeding all over the place. I started calling mercy, telling him I was sorry and he hesitated, so I threw a handful of sand in his eyes and then rolled him over. Got on top of him and started giving him the same medicine he was giving me, left and rights right into his face, broke his nose open and then I grabbed him by both ears and headbutted him straight in the face.

I got up, and he was down, so I kicked him a few times, and he wasn't getting up. Then, I spat on him, and took my phone out and took a picture of him.

I told him it was a good fight, but he got his ass kicked just like I said he would. I told him that this doesn't settle ANYTHING, and that I'm still going to be talking to his girl. He told me that if I don't back off from her, he's going to find where I live and shoot my place up, so I kicked him as hard as I could in the jaw and knocked the dude clean unconscious.

I got home, and I don't look too bad. Outside of the bloody nose, I look way better than he did when I left him. His GF is probably going to dump him for being a hotheaded low life that starts fights with her friends.

yeah

Whatever you say, Dakero.

Bull is incredibly disappointed in you, champ.

ctrl + f: blood was everywhere

>not found

i am disappoint, OP

I've seen some stupid ass topics on this websight.

This is one of them.

CE is old and super serious now. The young versions of us that enjoyed stories of kids dressing like Han Solo to get girls and taking them out to classy restaurants like Long John Silver's is apparently dead.

Anyway, I for one enjoyed this saga. Please update us on future adventures.

Jiek_Fafn posted...

CE is old and super serious now. The young versions of us that enjoyed stories of kids dressing like Han Solo to get girls and taking them out to classy restaurants like Long John Silver's is apparently dead.

Anyway, I for one enjoyed this saga. Please update us on future adventures.

For me its that people will actually post stuff like this

Theres one regular here who probably would post this unironically

shut the fuckkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk up

I look forward to the next chapter when TC posts from jail

A ninja drop out of a tree as the first punch doesn't count as a fair fight.

Dude really wrote all that out to make his username gimmick worthy.

Holy shit!

BearlyWilling posted...

blood was everywhere

I'm so disappointed that this is what tripped my ctrl+f

This place is biiiiiitteeeeeerrrrr

https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/a/forum/f/f70671f3.jpg

ok that was pretty good, I laughed

Man, the other day I was playing basketball outside of school, when a couple of guys who were up to something bad started making trouble with my neighbors. I got into a little fight, and my mom was afraid. So now she's sending me to live with my Uncle and Aunt out in California. So I can totally relate.

Guys I saw a fight in the park last night. I was there about 7:20, ballin' like a champ, when I noticed this strange looking kid with underwear on his head by the pullup bars. He waved his arm around for a while making lightsaber noises, then climbed up into a tree and just sat there for like 30 minutes giggling to himself.

This other guy showed up around 8, and he noticed the kid in the tree, because the kid was only like, five feet off the ground. The guy said "I can see you," but the kid just yelled "No you can't, I used shadow tree hide-jutsu!" The guy seemed pretty concerned about the kid's well being, so he started to walk toward the tree. Suddenly, the kid yelled "Ninja surprise!" and just like, free fell out of the tree. Missed the guy by a mile. Again, it was only about five feet, but he just tipped over and plummeted face first to the ground. When he hit, he immediately started screaming, accusing the guy of "hurting his tum-tum." The guy tried to approach to help, but the kid just kept screaming at him.

Finally, the guy just shook his head and walked away, and the kid shrieked "I'll have the last laugh, I'll tell GameFAQs I won and they'll believe me because of my topic creation no jutsu!" At that point, things were too awkward, and the kid was still crying, so I took my ball and went home.

You think it has anything to do with this topic?

BearlyWilling posted...

ctrl + f: blood was everywhere

>not found

i am disappoint, OP

wtf. I'm not reading that shit then. Fake ass Dakero.

Dudebusters posted...

Guys I saw a fight in the park last night. I was there about 7:20, ballin' like a champ, when I noticed this strange looking kid with underwear on his head by the pullup bars. He waved his arm around for a while making lightsaber noises, then climbed up into a tree and just sat there for like 30 minutes giggling to himself.

This other guy showed up around 8, and he noticed the kid in the tree, because the kid was only like, five feet off the ground. The guy said "I can see you," but the kid just yelled "No you can't, I used shadow tree hide-jutsu!" The guy seemed pretty concerned about the kid's well being, so he started to walk toward the tree. Suddenly, the kid yelled "Ninja surprise!" and just like, free fell out of the tree. Missed the guy by a mile. Again, it was only about five feet, but he just tipped over and plummeted face first to the ground. When he hit, he immediately started screaming, accusing the guy of "hurting his tum-tum." The guy tried to approach to help, but the kid just kept screaming at him.

Finally, the guy just shook his head and walked away, and the kid shrieked "I'll have the last laugh, I'll tell GameFAQs I won and they'll believe me because of my topic creation no jutsu!" At that point, things were too awkward, and the kid was still crying, so I took my ball and went home.

You think it has anything to do with this topic?

Accurate description; I was one of the pullup bars

MartavisBryant posted...

Accurate description; I was one of the pullup bars

then why the fuck didn't you pull up

Not reading that wall of text.

[LFAQs-redacted-quote]

I was bleeding all over the place

Anyway, yeah this was a Dakero/LovingPacifist copypasta. This was the only one from before 2017 I'd saved in a PM. All his stories from after are nowhere near as good. It's a shame the ones from the lurker site (2012-2015) are just gone now. From what I recall they're better than the ones on his blogspot which was only 2009 and before.

The amount of people who can't tell obvious satire on here is interesting though.

Any woman that gives me any complications gets dropped. I aint fighting anybody.

Interesting coincidence.

Some of you remember my previous topic about this girl's BF mouthing off to me on the phone. Basically, I have been sweet talking her while he is at the gym and I was ready to invite her over to "watch a movie" with me when he answered the phone. We exchanged some words, I told him that I was going to fuck his girl, and I challenged him to a battle of honor at a local park nearby.

I told him to show up at 8:00, so that we didn't run into a crowd of people. This park is usually dead, there aren't any actual play areas for kids, just a basketball court and some callisthenic workout racks. I told him to meet me in the shady area by the pullup bars. The thing is, he didn't know what I looked like, and I knew what he looked like because I had seen pics of him from my friend's phone before.

Anyways, I told him to meet me at 8:00PM, but I decided to show up 40 minutes early to scout the place out. Since I told him where to meet me, I knew where he'd be approaching from. So, I dressed in all black, tied a t-shirt around my head, and climbed into a tree near the meeting place and waited for him. Like I anticipated, he showed up at 8:00 on the dot, and was pacing around looking for me.

He was really heated, shadow boxing a bunch, throwing his fists around, talking shit at the air, and he was walking around a lot. I think he wanted me to see how hyped up he was while I was approaching to sort of scare me. Well, that was a big fucking mistake, because the dude wound up pacing just underneath the tree I was hiding in, and I dropped on top of him and tackled him to the ground. Dude never saw it coming. So, I drop onto him, he crumples, and before he can get up, I kick the dude as hard as I could in the ribs. He let out a really loud "OOOMFFFFF", but he was getting up to his feet again real fast. I was glad I didn't pick a fair fight with this guy, because even with the sucker punch he was still in the game!

So, since he was getting up to his feet, I basically sized up how fast he was getting up, took two steps back, and then laid a really sloppy haymaker as hard as I could into his jaw. Knocked him to the ground AGAIN. At that point, I told him that he goes down faster than his GF. Dude got pissed, because now he knew for sure that he was dealing with the guy on the phone. So he bull charges me and knocks me off my feet. He was faster than I expected and he took me off guard. He pulled my ninja mask off my face, and started punching me. Just laying into me, punching me over and over again, even busted my nose open and I was bleeding all over the place. I started calling mercy, telling him I was sorry and he hesitated, so I threw a handful of sand in his eyes and then rolled him over. Got on top of him and started giving him the same medicine he was giving me, left and rights right into his face, broke his nose open and then I grabbed him by both ears and headbutted him straight in the face.

I got up, and he was down, so I kicked him a few times, and he wasn't getting up. Then, I spat on him, and took my phone out and took a picture of him.

I told him it was a good fight, but he got his ass kicked just like I said he would. I told him that this doesn't settle ANYTHING, and that I'm still going to be talking to his girl. He told me that if I don't back off from her, he's going to find where I live and shoot my place up, so I kicked him as hard as I could in the jaw and knocked the dude clean unconscious.

I got home, and I don't look too bad. Outside of the bloody nose, I look way better than he did when I left him. His GF is probably going to dump him for being a hotheaded low life that starts fights with her friends.