Board 8 > Ranking 69 NPC's from Final Fantasy VII Rebirth (plus minigames) (spoilers)

(+) Yeah! (+)

My enjoyment of the exploration jumped up massively when I turned off as much world map HUD as I could and just started running around looking for things. I did this when I got to the southern part of Corel with the buggy and I was engrossed when I got to Gongaga. Which is a way of saying that while I liked the Renmawave towers I think the exploration could have be tilted a bit more towards letting the player find their own way (with fallback/reveal the answers options for players who want that).

Leapfrog was quite fun to master, but then I like platformers in general.

No need to rank waifus but could have included if Yorda > Fran > Naomi or something.

Naomi > Fran > Yorda

Geez your opinions are something. At least it keeps the list interesting.

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First of all, let's play taps and say farewell to the youtube link that had the Salmon fight song. Square Enix is coming for it now that the soundtrack's officially out there.

no kidding, the Rebirth playlist where I would throw any song I'd come across - literally all put together before i went on vacation so mid to late March, unofficial in-game rips - 100 songs in total and 64 of them are nuked, lol.

The extended loop is still intact at least!!!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tlTkJ8V63F8

https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/a/forum/a/a0bd0e90.jpg
Minigame 21. Following Robe Guys for Fun (?) and Profit

In Twin Peaks, there are several scenes where David Lynch toys with the viewer by forcing them to watch extended scenes of mundanity. A very elderly man shuffles on the floor. A janitor sweeps. These scenes often come right at the moment where you, as the viewer, wouldn't want them. A character has been shot and is lying on the floor, possibly dying. It's the series finale, and we only have a certain number of minutes left.

The Rebirth equivalent is this final protorelic quest in Nibelheim (although I guess technically the Corel quest is the final one). The whole gameplay mechanic here is that you have to follow these robed guys around to find some underground bunkers or shinra facilities. It's completely pointless, since if you are like me and you scoured the map already, you pretty much know where they are anyway. So it's mostly an exercise in patience. You can kind of push them along with triangle if you're feeling like a jerk.

Hint for NPC 33: So, are you going to be helpful or just cute and annoying?

https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/a/forum/9/9596e10c.jpg
33 . Marlene, pictured blowing up Zack's whole deal

So this is Marlene in the Zack-verse, aka the Terrier Timeline, but she remembers touching Aerith in the Beagle timeline and seeing her get killed by Sephiroth in the OG timeline. Makes perfect sense. No notes. Whatever happened to just being Barret's cute kid who makes a mean cocktail? Anyway, Marlene being all cryptic and spooky adds to the hopeless feeling of the Zack sections.

https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/a/forum/2/2a22b10c.jpg
32 . Jessie Raspberry

Everyone's favorite flirt from Remake is back, both in flashback form and in VR /AI "they're using my likeness even though I'm dead" form. This is the future Hollywood wants people. In fifty years they'll remake Star Wars with the original cast as holograms.

Flashback Jessie doesn't come out looking so great in this one. She's basically just drunk the whole time, but it's nice that we see her acting friendly with Tifa. I also appreciated the moment when we see her picture in the Gold Saucer hallway, and Barret tearing up during Loveless.

Loveless itself is I think shooting for that Opera House sense of gravitas, but it's also... not what I want Loveless to be. It really shouldn't be some fantasy epic, it should be like a grimy new wave goth cyberpunk thing. At least that's what I always imagined from the original posters.

Hint for minigame 20: "Up shouldn't make you go up! GODDAMMIT" - me, playing this minigame

Rank the regions!

junon
corel
grasslands
nibel
cosmo canyon
gongaga

Nibel is the best region solely for its chocobo.

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Hint for minigame 20: "Up shouldn't make you go up! GODDAMMIT" - me, playing this minigame

Think that's crossing the threshold between "hint" and "fact", lol

Haunter12O posted...

Rank the regions!

Going to be debated for years to come, so many variables to weigh - sidequests, chocobos, music, atmosphere. Types of enemies too, I guess.

Junon and Grasslands for sheer consistency in all aspects I think, even though Nibel best chocobo, Gongaga best music, Corel best locations within region.

Sounds like Chocobo glide is next.

My unpopular opinion is that Chocob Glide is a top 5 minigame. Yes, I'd prefer inverted controls, but I love the feeling of diving at full speed through those rings, and then rising right back.

Cosmo Canyon also happens to be my favorite area in the game.

For me,

1. Corel
2. Junon
3. Nibel
4. Gongaga
5. Grasslands
6. Cosmo Canyon

Haunter12O posted...

Rank the regions!

Grasslands
Corel
Junon
Nibel
Cosmo
Gongaga

Gongaga is too much of a pain to get around, and I'm firmly in the "what is this Avatar shit" when it comes to the soundtrack. Feel a little bad saying the first one was the best one, but I think it is. Nibel is too small.

https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/a/forum/b/b6389134.jpg
(Minigame) 20. Chocobo Glide

I think I remember reading somewhere that they've patched in the ability to invert the vertical controls, which would've bumped this game up quite a few spots. However, when I played this, I was stuck with the completely non-intuitive control scheme. I'm not sure what gaming experience instilled this in me, or if it's somehow biological/evolutionary, but when you're gliding you press up to go down. That's just the way it is, and to make us do it the other way is cruel. Anyway, it's fun that Yuffie does this and not Cloud.

Hint for NPC 31: Wasn't in the original game, but maybe should have been

https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/a/forum/c/c7f6c3e4.jpg
31 . Gilgamesh

Great sword collector
Funny cut-scenes and sidequests
Gilgamesh reborn

All in all, it's a good showing for Gilgamesh, though it doesn't overshadow his debut or his epic entrance in FFVIII. It's still completely random that he's here and I don't really understand why he is able to do all of these strange protorelic related minigames.

Really appreciate the VA performance here. Didn't recognize the name, but I looked him up and he's been Gilgamesh since Dissidia. He's done a ton of other stuff too. Name's Keith Szarabajka.

I bumped the difficulty down to easy for the dual summon fights but raised it back up for Gilgamesh himself. A decent challenge, though I think I probably died the most to Odin. So Odin has a bit of revenge for FFVIII after all.

https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/a/forum/6/65faee4e.jpg
30 . Chocobo Sage

This guy is probably too high, but what can I say? I'm a sucker for how this game goes out of its way to include stuff from the original game in surprising and cool ways. First off, they gotta get this chocobo robe in the merch store immediately. Secondly, again, I really enjoyed the Chocobo storyline in this game and this guy's a big part of it. He lives in his own mansion in Nibelheim, where he theoretically just gets to sit around and be awesome all day, smoking chocograss and thinking about the good old days.

Next up: a two-part post for Minigame 19 and Main Character 9.

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It's still completely random that he's here and I don't really understand why he is able to do all of these strange protorelic related minigames.

i think it's the effect 14 had on his characterization that makes it make sense

Gongaga
Grasslands
Cosmo
Corel
Nibel
Junon

All of them were good but Nibel was on the small slide and Junon's chocobo mechanic was quite poor. Corel's first area (west of Costa del Sol) is beautiful with probably the best set of quests in the game, but the desert does feel a bit rote, and I didn't enjoy using the buggy. If I split it into two regions the coastal bit would be up there with Gongaga and the desert would be below Nibel. The other three are all excellent, some of the best areas in any FF, but Gongaga having more complex design and beautiful background music push it over the top (also it's just a nicer place and town than Cosmo). Also has a good set of quests, certainly stronger than Cosmo's.

Gilgamesh is a great inclusion is only because it gets us some Battle on the Big Bridge arrangements.

And I liked Chocoglide once I spent 10 mins getting used to the uninverted controls. Good sense of momentum when diving. Think I got a bit lucky nailing the last bit of the 3rd set in about 5 goes at it.

I liked using the hook shot gun thing in Corel. Wish it was utilized more.

I still don't understand the gliding control complaints. And I always use inverted for flying in games.

It's not flying and thus doesn't need inverted controls.

https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/a/forum/5/54d445bd.jpg
Main Character 9: Cait Sith

Stop trying to make Cait Sith happen, Square. He's just not for me. He'd almost certainly have been last if Cid were more present and Sephiroth was less goofy.

The thing that bothers me the most about Cait Sith is how his existence is just taken for granted. No one ever raises any questions about this cat. Why does no one comment about how he's a talking cat robot? Why does no one care that he's an obvious Shinra spy? Why does he have a Scottish accent? Why should we accept him after he "sacrifices himself" in the Temple of the Ancients, when he's just a robot to begin with so it's not even a big deal?

All of these questions prove that Square actually made Rebirth more faithful to the original than Remake, because this is exactly how it was in the original. You go to Gold Saucer and bam, all of a sudden a big moogle is part of the party. Ok, sure!

In Rebirth, Cait Sith does some cute kitty dances and tells spooky fortunes, just like the original game. He still feels like the odd person out, which for plot reasons is definitely intentional for this part of the game. He doesn't really form any real relationships with the party members; imo they could've done more. I'm not a huge fan of his VA either; if they're going to go Scottish they needed to go full on Peter Cat-paldi or something.

Credit to the devs though, he's fun to play as. I know a lot of people seem to have trouble building ATB with him, but once you call the moogle it's basically over. There's a real UMVC3 Phoenix Wright feel to him in that way.

https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/a/forum/4/46ba26c5.jpg
(Minigame) 19. Cait Sith in Shinra Manor

Certainly not "literal torture." Perhaps a bit clunky, but honestly I appreciate the originality and the gameplay variety. The speed of the moogle is an issue, but I had zero issues with the throwing mechanic. It also forced me to "get good" with Cait Sith.

Really the suckiest thing about this section is that it's just plain worse than the OG Shinra Manor, which was really eerie and required actual puzzle/riddle solving. None of that's Cait Sith's fault though.

Hint for NPC 29: A character named after what they are

https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/a/forum/8/84b2bb71.jpg
(NPC) 29. Regina

I don't love that hair. Like the other Roberto Ferrari designs, she feels a little out of place next to the classic Nomura folks. I'm not saying all the new characters have bad designs, they just don't necessarily feel like FF7. Which is fine. I'm just saying there's a difference.

We first meet Regina on the Shinra 8, where she's a Queen's Blood wiz kid. After Cloud trounces her, she tends to her wounds by falling victim to the curse of the Shadowblood Queen. It was in her name all along, I suppose. Somehow I was still surprised when she ended up being the "final boss" to the Queen's Blood quest.

I love that final cutscene at the end of the Queen's Blood quest. Truly Vincent's greatest moment, plus we get a full-on cheesy "Game Over" line from Cloud as he throws cards like a ragin cajun. Mon Dieu indeed.

https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/a/forum/5/5b13916a.jpg
28 . Priscilla and Mr. Dolphin

These two are coming as a package deal. Maybe one smart omission from the original game is the CPR minigame, where you have to give mouth to mouth to a drowning pre-teen. In Rebirth, that would've been Yuffie, and I'm sure a lot of the Cluffie shippers were let down by that scene (all four of you). Smartly, Rebirth shows selfawareness of the moment and plays it for jokes instead.

Priscilla in Rebirth is fun and spirited without ever being annoying. For not being in the game all that much I found her pretty memorable. Mr. Dolphin is unchanged from the original (perfect as is).

Wish I could talk about dolphin riding right now, but there's worse minigames to discuss first.

Hint for minigame 18: Our first gold saucer minigame!

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Somehow I was still surprised when she ended up being the "final boss" to the Queen's Blood quest.

yeah they'd already made her like, the mid boss so i was definitely expecting someone more plot relevant after we got vincent second to last!

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I'm not a huge fan of his VA either; if they're going to go Scottish they needed to go full on Peter Cat-paldi or something.

Wow you're just a blind hater. Idk how anyone could not like his VA.

Cait has my favorite VA in the game. Incredibly charming performance.

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Maybe one smart omission from the original game is the CPR minigame, where you have to give mouth to mouth to a drowning pre-teen. In Rebirth, that would've been Yuffie, and I'm sure a lot of the Cluffie shippers were let down by that scene (all four of you). Smartly, Rebirth shows selfawareness of the moment and plays it for jokes instead.

There's nothing romantic or sexual about CPR and it's creepy that Rebirth implies there is.

I hated that he was Scottish but did think he was a cool and much improved character, although also agreed that i was incredulous about just how easily he tagged along with the group

I didn't find Cait as random as in original actually. Here he is more like a Gold Saucer/Shinra employee suspiciously tailing them and they're aware of this, and then is just leading them to the Dustbowl for Dio's request. At no point does it feel like they have just accepeted him as part of the group, but were kinda forced into the Dustbowl situation. Then they make their escape and after going through that together, he finally joins.

Yeah like it's still weird because he's a cat robot but they did a great job with it.

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Hint for minigame 18: Our first gold saucer minigame!

3D Pauser incoming

It's interesting what they did with Cait, obviously the big differences are knowing he's a Shinra employee up front (whereas you didn't in the original), but writing out the Marlene & Elmyra kidnapping to force him to stick around, instead having him leave the party. Not letting your playable characters be monsters are probably good changes (and basically guarantees a much mellower Cid/Shera relationship in part 3)

This is all fair stuff about Cait! I would reluctantly agree that he's "better" in this game (but only slightly). I completely forgot about the Marlene/Elmyra kidnapping plot from the original. Which does kid of beg the question of what Beagle timeline Elmyra and Marlene are up to. They're certainly not in Kalm, so I guess they're just chilling in Sector 5. Maybe we'll see them in game 3.

https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/a/forum/a/a7525f94.jpg
Minigame 18. Galactic Saviors, aka Speed Square

Gawrsh Donald, it's the Gummi Ship!

I said earlier in the topic that I was bad at shooters, but this does not apply to Speed Square for some reason. I found this to be pretty dang easy, both in normal and expert modes (again: not on hard difficulty though). It's similar to the original in that most of your points are going to come at the end. It controls well and is decently fun, and the lobby area song is one of my favorites. I wouldn't say it's all that unique or interesting though. It's a space shooter.

Hint for NPC 27: One of the more interesting new lore developments in the game

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https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/a/forum/b/b6389134.jpg
(Minigame) 20. Chocobo Glide

I think I remember reading somewhere that they've patched in the ability to invert the vertical controls, which would've bumped this game up quite a few spots. However, when I played this, I was stuck with the completely non-intuitive control scheme. I'm not sure what gaming experience instilled this in me, or if it's somehow biological/evolutionary, but when you're gliding you press up to go down. That's just the way it is, and to make us do it the other way is cruel. Anyway, it's fun that Yuffie does this and not Cloud.

Hint for NPC 31: Wasn't in the original game, but maybe should have been

as someone who just spent an hour trying to get 9600 points on the 3rd training course, only to solve it in a way that is not intuitive in the slightest

this minigame deserves last place

https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/a/forum/3/3443fa0b.jpg
NPC 27. Gi Nattak

While playing through Cosmo Canyon, I had the thought "I wonder if they'll actually do anything interesting with the Gi this time." Sure enough, they did. While Cosmo is probably my least favorite part of the game overall, I loved the added backstory behind the Gi and the Black Materia. It was such a cool way to make Red's journey feel more connected to the rest of the plot. It also provides a lot of really effective lore about the Cetra. Gi's line about the Cetra being intolerant (I'm paraphrasing) was so good. Instead of thinking of the Cetra as like this pacifist magical beings we start thinking of them as more like actual people.

Maybe it's a little cliche how they ride a boat across the river of the dead, but the moment where the Zack scene transitions to Aerith's hand in the water was extremely well done. All in all, I thought this guy was super interesting - he just wasn't in the game enough to warrant a higher spot (of course, this logic doesn't apply to random joke characters yet to be ranked).

https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/a/forum/f/f7a53baf.jpg
26 . Kyrie

Before you complain about her being too high on the list, let it be known that her original music did a LOT of heavy lifting here.

I also think she's way better in this game than in Remake, where she was just a huge whatever. At least here there's a running-gag playfulness about her that makes sense. In Remake I feel like they kind of wanted us to take her seriously? I mean, she's definitely still annoying but it's a "funner annoying."

Her design always gives P4G Marie, which is probably why I only sorta like her. She also deserves points for her Zack-verse version. Honestly, I think there's something going on with Zack-verse Kyrie. First she's the one who helps Zack with coma Cloud at the very beginning. Then she shows up to Avalanche's recruitment meeting ready to join.

You wanna know my 10,000 to 1 bet? She becomes playable in the third game. Take it to the bank.

Hint for minigame 17: Tactics? In Final Fantasy? Who needs em.

Kyrie too low.

Also Galactic Saviors probably my favorite GS minigame other than Chocobo Racing whoops.

Stunned that wasn't 3D Brawler, a minigame that sounds great in theory and is for the first few rounds, but by the end...

and:

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26 . Kyrie

Before you complain about her being too high on the list

MacArrowny posted...

Kyrie too low.

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let it be known that her original music did a LOT of heavy lifting here.

....ok fair enough

maybe my hot take is my least favourite thing in the game was the gi. I think it's cool to tie everybody's plot back to the main in some way but I just kinda felt like the gi didn't warrant that

It was a perfect way to expand on the black materia. It had zero explanation as to where it came from or why it exists in the original, right? What would you have done with them?

Waluigi1 posted...

It was a perfect way to expand on the black materia. It had zero explanation as to where it came from or why it exists in the original, right? What would you have done with them?

yeah I'll be honest, I don't have a better suggestion. I might have just felt extra grumpy at the time because every time people talk about liking it i can see why

tbh i was happy there was some big lore building stuff happening in cosmo canyon still, bc the shinra museum stuff in remake made bugenhagen a bit redundant. the gi are pretty dope.

https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/a/forum/c/c6c7d0e8.jpg
(Minigame) 17. Fort Condor Redux

To the surprise of a lot of people (but not me), Fort Condor is back! I think it's as good as an update to the original minigame as we could expect, although a tiny part of me still thinks the original's Fort Condor makes more sense. I know the strat in the original was to lose on purpose, but if you actually tried that game could be pretty fun.

I've already mentioned this, but this version of Fort Condor is worse than the one in Intergrade. Strategy this time has kind of gone out the window with the inclusion of the hero tokens and the rather strict time limit on some of the maps. I remember the original there being a need to think about which "board" to use in relation to the opponent's board. With this version, I think the strategy is just offense offense offense, call Cloud, Call Tifa etc.

Still, I'm glad it exists! It's great fanservice to see the polygons again. The storyline about the soldier pieces becoming self aware was a little weird though.

Hint for NPC 25: Ant Tray Pruners?

https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/a/forum/5/54cadde0.jpg
NPC 25. Beck's Badasses

Like Kyrie, the battle theme is again putting in work for these guys. Like Kid G, they're random enemies who get to graduate to being actual characters. In Remake, these guys hung out in the slums between Sector 5 and Wall Market. They're decidedly gag villains through and through. Their gags include: explaining concepts poorly, mispronouncing said concepts, and getting their asses kicked so hard they have to play dead.

They are high on the list because I have great affinity for the original game's random enemy "Devil Ride." To me, it's on the level of Eligor and Hell House, and I was glad to see these guys kind of "become" that enemy in their Chapter 12 quest. Now if only Tankceratops had made an appearance...

https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/a/forum/f/f9419e22.jpg https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/a/forum/c/cc0d9b61.jpg
24 . Chocobo Sam
23 . Choco Billy

Let's talk about these two characters together so we can finally put an end to all discussions about the Chocobo family of side quests (at least in the character portion of the ranking). Despite being in the game way less than his colleagues from Wall Market, Chocobo Sam ends up coming across as the best of the Corneo trio in Rebirth. While the "secret" to Chocobo Billy's parents isn't exactly brain altering (in fact, I've kind of completely forgotten it), Sam is still able to exude that detached aloofness from the original.

Sam's character plays off of Billy's pretty well. I found myself surprisingly interested in Billy and Chloe's story, and Billy deserves top billing for being present throughout the entire thing (from the Grasslands to the prison to the Chocobo Sage's house). I also like a breath-strip across my nose every once in a while too.

Hint for minigame 16: goooooooooooaaaaaaaaallllllllllllllllllll

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Now if only Tankceratops had made an appearance

if we don't get it in Part 3 we riot. They've basically covered everything else!!

i mean I need to replay the original but the only post-Midgar disc 1 random enemy I can think of that wasn't included other than Tankceratops, is Ghirofelgo - guy in Shinra Mansion who's like, balancing on a swinging blade thing. and Tankceratops is way easier to include as an autonomous Shinra weapon.

https://youtu.be/bCbf0g35YKI?si=SKMXOakum05j58gl

Due Recompense was already incredible and they went even harder this time.

https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/a/forum/5/57c1929b.jpg
Minigame 16. Run Wild, aka Red XIII League

It is honestly wild that this exists, no pun intended. I mean, this entire minigame exists because you can kick a soccer ball at Red XIII in the original game. They took a meaningless one second long thing and turned it into a bona fide Rocket League clone.

Like Rocket League, I'm bad at this game. I remember when Rocket League first came out, a lot of my friends were trying to get me into it. Then, when they saw I could not be taught or trained, they quickly gave up. Just like me with Run Wild! I did well enough to get Red's weapon, but I didn't try to get the top prize in the second variation of this (where you have to put all 8 balls in order).

Still, even though I suck at this, I respect it.

Hint for NPC 22: Vacation's all I ever wanted.

But before that: MC #8!

Really loved that one

https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/a/forum/c/c34123e1.jpg
Main Character 8
Vincent Valentine

Do I feel bad ranking a non-playable character over Cait Sith? Absolutely not. They crushed it with Vincent, because the devs understand that he's kind of a joke. Vincent is not and never has been a grim dark edgelord. He's Noel Fielding from the IT Crowd. He sleeps in a big coffin with a vending machine next to him. He doesn't understand how to work his palm pilot. He turns into a werewolf or a chainsaw guy. I mentioned his role in the Queen's Blood quest earlier. He rules because there's clear parody elements to his dark broodiness.

He also has one of the best boss fights in the game, imo. For as much as I think Shinra Manor in Rebirth is worse than the original's, the Vincent sequence is pretty good, from his awakening, to Cloud's weird out of body experience, to his transformation into Galian Beast. It's really cool. The battle itself is the closest the game gets to feeling like a Souls game (which is to say, not very much at all, but the music is great and the battle itself feels more about recognizing patterns than going ham on ATB).

The game reveals a lot more about his backstory than I expected. Cait Sith outright just says he's a former Turk, and the protorelic quest in Nibelheim seems to allude to Lucretia and some of the optional stuff from the original game. I don't hate this decision.

Having fought him, I now wonder what they'll do to make him playable in the next game. I imagine he'll play kind of like FeMC from Tales of Arise or something. His limits will almost certainly just be cutscenes, since I can't imagine they'll let us wreck shop as a transformed Galian Beast.

Admittedly, I do think it's weird that he hangs out with the party but doesn't actually fight. Cid's got the excuse that he's just flying them around. Vincent just seems anti-social. It's not a huge deal but they could've done more to say why he's not actively fighting with the party.

I'm also pretty curious what they'll do with Vincent's gameplay. I'd guess they'll put his transformations behind limit breaks and when he casts them he goes outside player control for 20-30 seconds while doing OP stuff (the choice for the player being what limit level to reach), while his base gameplay focused on being a squishy high damage gunslinger (compared to Barret) with some support magic. They've done a good job with the first 7 characters so I'm hopeful they'll do something fun with him too.

I do think they should have been a bit clearer why he was tagging along and not helping. It would only have taken two or three lines!

https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/a/forum/b/be86f37e.jpg
NPC 22. Reno

A well-known fact before the release of Rebirth is that Reno's Japanese VA passed away. The devs made it clear that Reno wouldn't be in this game very much. This is coincidentally true to the original, where Reno kind of disappears for a while and gets Elena as a stand-in. HOWEVER, he does appear in Gongaga in the original, in a welcome cameo. In Rebirth, he doesn't appear and instead we get more Scarlet domination. His absence is felt.

When he does appear, he does so in Temple of the Ancients. He gets one good line, where he tells Rude and Tifa to get a room. If Rude hadn't committed mass murder, I could've seen that pairing working. Anyway, Reno will always be the best Turk overall, but for this game in particular he's unfortunately a non-factor for a decent enough reason.

https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/a/forum/a/a28edb48.jpg
21 . Elmyra
20 . Ifalna

We need to talk about Aerith's trial in the Temple of the Ancients. It's only the saddest video game sequence of all time. It's like Pixar levels of manipulative. First we get that awesome butterfly sequence, which hearkens back to Remake's prison cell scene. Child Aerith and Ifalna discuss going on an adventure, away from the white robes and the needles, where Ifalna will get better. CUT TO: Ifalna's dying on the train platform, you're child Aerith, and you can press L2 to ask for help and no one does! Awful stuff. And then you have to walk back, crying, sobbing about how you tried, and then she dies, right before handing you the White Materia. Not only is it devastating, it's such a smart setup for reminding players about the significance of the materia.

Aerith's other mom, Elmyra, is less important in this game than in Remake (and she's an Alternate Version of her... I guess? I'm starting to think there are no "alternate versions" and these are just the same characters in pocket universes or somethingweird). Ahem. Sorry I got confused. Elmyra's great. I mentioned this earlier, but one of the game's strengths is how you can "see" parents in the main characters, and no parents are better than Aerith's moms.

Hint for minigame 15: I wish I was playing basketball instead

Aerith's trial made me truly realize that the saddest thing in the world is a depressed little girl. Especially one who gets pushed around by heartless adults ugh. Utterly heartbreaking.

I wanted to jump into the game and throw all kinds of objects and obscenities at those jerks.