Current Events > Old simpsons jokes you remember randomly

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Here's one that randomly comes up and not many bring up, nor can I find a good youtube video of it:

-Moments before going through with committing a crime that forever changed their lives.-

Mona Simpson: "I put Homer to bed, Abe. And now I'm going out. It could be a late night. I'm meeting my destiny."

Abe Simpson: *staring at the tv with total indifference* "Sooo long."

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=QlaJG-Xucww

Probably misses his old glasses

Smiffwilm posted...

Here's one that randomly comes up and not many bring up, nor can I find a good youtube video of it:

-Moments before going through with committing a crime that forever changed their lives.-

Mona Simpson: "I put Homer to bed, Abe. And now I'm going out. It could be a late night. I'm meeting my destiny."

Abe Simpson: *staring at the tv with total indifference* "Sooo long."

Now that Johnny Unitas, theres a haircut you could set your watch to.

For an evening or a week, theres no place like the mall. Food, fun, and fashion, the mall has it all.

Shit all of them.

I'll try to pick one from random.

Here we go, garage vs. carhole

https://youtu.be/JhbJnlIvfyc

If you like bacon, yer gonna love it! And if ya don't like bacon, well then t'hell wit'cha!

Mmm....Floor pie

Let's all go to the lobby
Let's all go to the lobby
Let's all go to the lobby
To get ourselves some snacks

-
*Simpsons family sing Armour Hot Dogs song*
Lisa: Does this family know any songs that aren't from a commercial?
...
I feel like chicken tonight!
Like chicken tonight!
Like chicken tonight!

Back in my day we had bumblebees on nickels. Gimme 5 bees for a quarter they'd say

"Do you even have a job anymore?"
"I think it's pretty obvious that I don't."

These are speed holes. They make the car go faster.

episode that parodies The Oddyssey

*suitors, including ancient Greek Disco Stu are lining up for Marge*

*Disco Stu makes seductive comment, seemingly toward Marge*

*Bart makes witty retort*

*Stu turns to Bart* "Discus STU was talkin to YOU!"

*Bart shudders uncomfortably*

"Murder, honey. A group of crows is called a murder..."

"In this house we obey the laws of thermodynamics!"

Simpson
Homer Simpson
He's the greatest guy in history!
From the
Town of Springfield,
He's about to hit a chestnut tree.
*screams*

sabin017 posted...

"In this house we obey the laws of thermodynamics!"

"hELlo MOthER deAR..."

Now we play the waiting game.
...
Ah, the waiting game sucks. Let's play Hungry Hungry Hippos.

Bart: This is the worst day of my life...
Homer, reassuringly: Worst day of your life so far

I explained steamed hams to my electrolysis lady yesterday

Kurt_Russel posted...

Homer: Let me have one of those porno magazines, large box of condoms, a bottle of Old Harper, a couple of those panty shields, and some illegal fireworks, and one of those disposable enemas ... eh, make it two.

I don't know what you have planned this weekend but count me out.

Oh my God...this man is my exact double!
...OH MY GOD! That dog has a puffy tail!!

When that guy who owned an erotic bakery wanted Marge to work for him

Patrick: My number one customers are married couples; your friends and neighbors. *grabs a cake box* I just made a custom order for the Hibberts. It's an exact replica of the good doctor's--
Marge: I don't wanna know!
Patrick: It's not what ya think it is
Marge: Good. *looks into box*
Patrick: It's his penis!
Marge: That's exactly what I was thinking!

"Now give me a taste!"

https://youtu.be/HUpwSsEu204

*watching the Ramones*

Burns: "Have The Rolling Stones killed"

Smithers: "But sir, that's..."

Burns: "Do as I say!"

The year was 1968. We were on recon in a steaming Mekong delta. An overheated private removed his flak jacket, revealing a T-shirt with an iron-on sporting the Mad slogan "Up With Mini-Skirts." Well, we all had a good laugh, even though I didn't quite understand it. But our momentary lapse of concentration allowed Charlie to get the drop on us. I spent the next three years in a POW camp, forced to subsist on a thin stew of fish, vegetables, prawns, coconut milk, and four kinds of rice. I came close to madness trying to find it here in the States, but they just can't get the spices right...

Nelson tries to bait Homer with the stupid says what, but Homer says he doesn't know any idiots but then mumbles something, and Nelson says what? Making everyone in the school use his trademark laugh at him for falling for his own joke.

Cocytus posted...

*watching the Ramones*

Burns: "Have The Rolling Stones killed"

Smithers: "But sir, that's..."

Burns: "Do as I say!"

(Homer sees Johnny and Edgar Winter while fleeing from zombies in a hearse)

"DIE, YOU CHALK-FACED GOONS!!!"

The legendary 'TRAMAPOLINE, TRABAPOLINE' line wouldn't be half as funny without Homer bowling over some poor soul pulling out of their driveway five seconds latter with the line "Oh no you don't! That trampoline is MINE!"

Bart: Come on, Seymour! Mau! Didi mau!

Skinner: Ow! I told you no one can climb a rope.I t's physically impossible.

I can't remember if it was Hit and Run or Road Rage, but I remember driving with Skinner and crashing into everything trying to get him to say Didi Mau. Somehow that's a core memory for me.

I've come to hate my own creation! Now I know how God feels.

Mr. McClure, what does DNA stand for?

Well this randomly popped today so.... this as well.

https://youtu.be/bSFs2qtcji4

"Whoa, slow down there, tubby! You're not on the moon yet!"

Poor kid.

The moon belongs to America.

Homer: See i have this friend named Joey Jojo Junior... Shabadoo
Moe: Thats the worst name I ever heard
Joey Jojo: *runs away crying*
Barney: Hey! Joey Jojo!!!

The kids can call you "Hoju."

*Peels out on a motorcycle* "Up yours, children!"

I may dislike Principal and the Pauper conceptually, but it does have some damn funny lines.

*grandpa pulls up on hog*
Hey, everybody!
I'm going to haul ass to Lollapalooza!

My bologna has a first name it's H O M E R

My bologna has a second name it's H O M E R

"I have 3 kids and no money. Why can't I have no kids and 3 money?"

"Are you on your 3rd beer of the evening?"
"...does whiskey count as beer?"

https://youtu.be/vm6g3P0BYrQ

Cecil: Anyway, I choose to remember Bob as the big brother who taught me to play Botticelli.
Bart: Sounds boring.
Cecil: Oh youd love it! Its a guessing game in which one player adopts the guise of a noteworthy youre right, it is boring.

FigureOfSpeech posted...

"Discus STU was talkin to YOU!"

This one and "Man Alive, there are.... men alive in here!"

I use to be with it, then they changed what it WAS! Now what I'm with isn't it, and what is it seems weird and scary and to me! It'll happen to yoooooou!

Questionmarktarius posted...

Bart: No offense, Homer, but your half-assed underparenting was a lot more fun than your half-assed overparenting.

Homer: But I'm using my whole ass.

I once accused one of my coworker's solutions of being half-assed and he said "yeah, but it's the right half of the ass."

Abe: "Thanks, Achoo."
Apu: "Not 'choo', 'pu'."
Abe: "I have trouble with both."

When the two German guys get eaten by Homer in the Halloween episode:

What did we Germans do to deserve this?
*silence*
Oh. Right

Marge: "That's kind of a lousy lesson."
Clinton: "Well, I'm kind of a lousy president."

Then Trump came along...