Current Events > Fiancé is getting forced into a promotion, with a relocation

(+) Yeah! (+)

She makes double my income, and could be making over 100k in the next couple years.

This transfer is still in my state, but 4 hours away. Eventually wed most likely have to travel out of the state.

She just turned one down a few weeks ago, so she has to accept this if she wants to stay with the company.

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If I were you, I would break up with her.
It's not going to be looking good for you in the long run.

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I don't mean to be rude but double your income is less than 100k? You should look for a new job

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Fiance

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J03can posted...

I don't mean to be rude but double your income is less than 100k? You should look for a new job

45k a year is more than enough in multiple parts of the country

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I should add, neither one of us have degrees. I make 30k, she makes 60.

I cant blame her for wanting to take it with the potential of making doubling that in a couple years

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Halp

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Did you just want to tell us this, or were you conflicted? Doeasnt seem to be any issues with this at least from your PoV.

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Is relocating completely out of the question?

Seems like the choice to make. She makes more money and you can look at whether you can make the same or more at the new location.

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Prismsblade posted...

Did you just want to tell us this, or were you conflicted? Doeasnt seem to be any issues with this at least from your PoV.

i guess I should have elaborated more. Its really hard for me to be away. Home, friends, and family mean a great deal to me.

Ive lived out of state before. I made friends and had relationships there, but it just wasnt the same.

Never got over the homesickness

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congrats :D
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Where would you need to move to and from? I got the same state part.

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4 hours isn't that bad. It's like a weekend trip to visit the family. That money though will probably improve yours and your gf's life significantly, and she won't have to try and find another job.

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Cleveland area to Cincinnati. This is ultimately temporary. Shell get relocated until she gets her own store, and then we can actually plan to settle down.

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Finding a place to rent that allows five pets might be difficult

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Cincinnati sucks. I could never live there. Too much southern influence. Also, they put chili on spaghetti which is a crime against nature

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I mean... it's better than Cleveland... all due respect.

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Follow her wherever she goes

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OH, and they expect her down there in 3 weeks.

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Jiek_Fafn posted...

Cincinnati sucks. I could never live there. Too much southern influence. Also, they put chili on spaghetti which is a crime against nature

Ohio is a tough sell.

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yeah, Im sure I could find work making the same amount.

and I dont want her to have any regrets, what ifs, etc


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Conflict posted...

That's a completely moronic suggestion

That's because you are too young to understand.

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Na I dont wanna throw away 7 years

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Leaving Cleveland for almost anything is worth it

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Jiek_Fafn posted...

Also, they put chili on spaghetti which is a crime against nature

Calling that thing "chili" is a crime against nature.

Fuck Skyline. The only good things they have are those oyster crackers.

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4-5 hour drives eat away at your life

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DarkChozoGhost posted...

Leaving Cleveland for almost anything is worth it

Yeah, not everyone lives in big cities where you need to make 60K + to survive. 45k is a respectable income. I make closer to 60 and I live in the country and i'm comfortable enough that my wife doesn't have to work. CE has this weird thing about thinking people need to make bank or find a new job.

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lww99 posted...

Halp

What do you want us to say? She either gets fired and you guys stay put, you break up and she moves on, or you both move. I dont know your relationship. I cant really give advice on whats best for you.

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lww99 posted...

i guess I should have elaborated more. Its really hard for me to be away. Home, friends, and family mean a great deal to me.

Ive lived out of state before. I made friends and had relationships there, but it just wasnt the same.

Never got over the homesickness

I'm going to give you the same advice Dave Ramsay gave a young couple who were having a difficult time deciding where to accept jobs as surgeons. They could be in New York making 200k a year living comfortably, or in the Arctic Circle for 3 years making 1.6 million.

Living where you are now is fine, but all that extra money can be put aside so you can visit home every odd weekend, and with the increase in opportunities with both her making more money and you hopefully making more money, you can put aside a small percentage to visit home once or twice a month, or conversely retire early with some smart savings and investing.

I'd suggest her taking the job, and you finding work similar to the work your currently in. While the initial few weeks will be hard, it will become more bearable with time, and you'll get used to not being in the same city as your family. Not to mention that this will give both of you experience, and whose to say that a job won't pop up in a years time closer to home that your Fiance can grab even if it meant losing 10 grand off her salary.

Relocate, it's a net positive for you both.

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Learn to let go and not have attachment if you wanna become rich. Especially if you want kids in the future.

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She's going to be your literal life partner, no? I'd go with her and spend every day supporting her, greeting her every morning and every time she comes back from work. If it's really temporary, then you can always move back to your town one day.

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You'll also be out of Cleveland. Family isn't worth living in Cleveland

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i dont live in Cleveland, just a suburb of it. Its really not that bad

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Wife her up and become a kept man

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Relocating for work in 2021 when zoom and skype and teams are things.

why can't she do the same job from her existing office? or from home? does it actually require a relocation for any reasonable purpose?

when covid hit and our office shut down and we started working from home, the owner was like... just don't come back.. there's no need for anyone to be here, i'm gonna sell the office and rent a small space and if your internet is crap come on in

and that's exactly what he did.

People that cant leave their home life behind for their own success make no sense to me. You can always visit. For TC, 4 hours isnt a far drive to do monthly if the home sickness is that bad.

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--Zero- posted...

People that cant leave their home life behind for their own success make no sense to me. You can always visit. For TC, 4 hours isnt a far drive to do monthly if the home sickness is that bad.

very true. One of my friends had a job lined up where he would be making a pretty decent salary, not 6 figures but a good 60-70k Canadian. But then his girlfriend now wife convinced him to stay in their small town, where he works as a Mcdonalds fry cook. All because she couldn't bear to be away from her family.

Every one of my class was facepalming when we heard that.

what does she do where she can make that much without a degree?

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she should check with her accoutant first to make sure this isn't putting her into a higher tax bracket
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She works in retail. When we first met, she worked part time at hot topic. Now she works at Dillards, with almost 100 employees/supervisors under her.

While retail wont last forever, Dillards seems to be thriving.

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If you actually love her, you might as well go with. If you're only making 30k it's not like you can't find a similar paying job wherever her better paying job takes you. It'll be an adventure.
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Relocate.

Next question.

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lww99 posted...

i guess I should have elaborated more. Its really hard for me to be away. Home, friends, and family mean a great deal to me.

Ive lived out of state before. I made friends and had relationships there, but it just wasnt the same.

Never got over the homesickness

If you feel like this, isn't the choice obvious? Better to just be honest with yourself and what you want. I can relate though, truly nothin' like home.

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smoke_break posted...

If you feel like this, isn't the choice obvious? Better to just be honest with yourself and what you want. I can relate though, truly nothin' like home.

idk I was living in Arizona then, even just being in a different time zone made things much more difficult.

6hr flight vs 4 hour drive

but yeah Im sure it would still take a toll on me.

But I dont want her to have any regrets or resent me for it

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