Board 8 > I'm kind of torn on what to do with my daughter on this issue

(+) Yeah! (+)

We just bought a bunch of anime figures and statues. The thing is, my daughter took a liking to my Sailor Moon and my GF's Demon Slayer statue of the sister of the main character(the character with the bamboo over her mouth). The thing is, she's only 3 1/2, and she's playing rough with them, having them "fight"(which is just her bashing them against each other really hard). I feel like they might break if I don't take it from her, but she's been playing with them a lot. She does have a shitload of other toys(she has 4 sets of Anna and Elsa from Frozen FFS), so she's prolly just move on to her other toys if I took them away, but she's going to be so sad and pissed off for a while...
---

lol

---

If the money isnt a big deal just buy duplicates

---

get some cheaper replacements for her

---

Truly a headscratching situation

---

there is no daughter

---

masterplum posted...

If the money isnt a big deal just buy duplicates

The 2 statues total is about 50 bucks or so, which was the same amount of money as the singing Anna and Elsa dolls. Just kind of seems like a waste though. I feel like I can just get her a more playable Sailor Moon(she really likes her, we were staying at my gf's sister's house for about a week, and she took the Sailor Moon everywhere) for cheaper.

ninkendo posted...

get some cheaper replacements for her

Yeah, I could, but it'd be a few days before it got to my house, and the statues could be broken by then.(I live in the middle of nowhere, so no anime stores around here. We only picked up a shitload of anime figures and statues because we were visiting my gf's sister who lives in a more populated area)
---

I gifted these Anna and Elsa Nendoroids for my 6 year old niece, and she, her brother and two of their friends made a mess with them from all the small parts, so I know how you feel.

Going along the lines of what SHINE said, I would say look for action figures that are cheaper and more durable. Otherwise, you're gonna have to flat out tell your daughter that these things are not toys and shouldn't be played with. Yeah, she might get upset for a bit, but she'll get over it eventually.

---

your child's not a waste, let them play with the toy

you signed up for this


---

buy a new daughter

---

---

stick the sailor moon up ur butt

---

you don't even know the character's name? you don't deserve a nezuko figure you plebian. let your daughter ruin them you absolute noob.

---

Ask your niece

colliding posted...

you don't even know the character's name? you don't deserve a nezuko figure you plebian. let your daughter ruin them you absolute noob.

I don't like that anime though. My GF is the one that loves that show, I think it's a below average show.
---

I'm not QUITE as harsh to say it's below average but



---

I just like the animation

---

This is a teaching moment. She's 3 and a half so she can't really empathize with you here. She's never had anyone break her stuff and she's never had to buy anything for herself.

"You may play with the dolls when you learn how to play gently with them."

This teaches her that she doesn't always get what she wants, and it also incentivizes her to treat others' property with respect. You're not being a jerk, you're protecting your property. You wouldn't be asking us if these things were 100x more expensive. But 3-year-olds can't understand "these things are $50" OR "these things are $5000," so you shouldn't really treat them differently. The important thing is that it's not hers, so she must play nicely with it. If she has plenty of things to play with (and it sounds like she does) you aren't depriving her of anything.

---

lihlih posted...

I don't like that anime though. My GF is the one that loves that show, I think it's a below average show.

You deserve to have the money wasted

I hope your daughter bites the head off of your Sailor Moon!

NeatoAnAccount posted...

This is a teaching moment. She's 3 and a half so she can't really empathize with you here. She's never had anyone break her stuff and she's never had to buy anything for herself.

"You may play with the dolls when you learn how to play gently with them."

This teaches her that she doesn't always get what she wants, and it also incentivizes her to treat others' property with respect. You're not being a jerk, you're protecting your property. You wouldn't be asking us if these things were 100x more expensive. But 3-year-olds can't understand "these things are $50" OR "these things are $5000," so you shouldn't really treat them differently. The important thing is that it's not hers, so she must play nicely with it. If she has plenty of things to play with (and it sounds like she does) you aren't depriving her of anything.

This this this.

Also picking consequences that are easy for you to stick to but will still have an impact on your daughter is crucial. I knew that if I was not treating a toy or book nicely, it got whisked away to the top of the fridge where to my young mind, it might as well be in Siberia. Brief frustration or annoyance, but since my parents were They Who Cannot Be Moved, I quickly learned that the best course of action was treat things nicely and gently.

---

banananor posted...

your child's not a waste, let them play with the toy

you signed up for this

---

Entirely possible, given the volume of toys your daughter has available, that she could benefit from toy rotation? You store some of her toys away and out of sight [back of your closet, garage, whatever] and leave out the toys that you see her playing with the most. Give it an amount of time, then rotate 'em out. Kids will generally play with whatever's there, but they'll get decision fatigue if there's too much out at any one time.

At this point she's mastered object permanence. I wonder if you put these figures away while she was sleeping one night, if she'd notice the next day? Or would she start playing with something else? Alternatively, interactive play with one of you might be preferable to toys. At least until you can get her something Sailor Moon related of her own?


---

Your child is a waste. Don't let her play with the toy.

This isn't what you signed up for.

---

Your sign is a waste. Don't let her play with the child.

This isn't what you bought toys for.

---

Your waste is a toy. Don't let it sign up with the child.

This isn't what you played for.
---

toys are for children to play with, not for adults to put on a shelf

---

Hard times create strong men, strong men create good times, good times create weak men, and weak men create hard times.

Take the doll, or else she'll become weak. Lessons must be learned.

---

stick the toy up your butt

---

did you forget that you already posted that or something

---

Wow yeah I did. I guess it's just my most natural reaction to this situation.

---

foolm0r0n posted...

Wow yeah I did. I guess it's just my most natural reaction to this situation.

Lmfao

So what are you doing with your daughter on this issue?

Llarian posted...

This this this.

Also picking consequences that are easy for you to stick to but will still have an impact on your daughter is crucial. I knew that if I was not treating a toy or book nicely, it got whisked away to the top of the fridge where to my young mind, it might as well be in Siberia. Brief frustration or annoyance, but since my parents were They Who Cannot Be Moved, I quickly learned that the best course of action was treat things nicely and gently.

Yeah this is good, use the top of the fridge as a time out. Especially if she can see up there.

Everyone screams and cries over unimportant things as a kid. It's an important part of understanding what to actually scream and cry about. She thinks it's a problem that you're not letting her play with the dolls, and if you relent and apologize, you're telling her that you agree that you mistreated her, and validated her emotional response.

It's like, if your kid falls down, you should let them decide that they're hurt. Try to tell them "whoops. You're okay, right?" Your kid will probably stop crying if they scraped their knee, but not if they broke their foot. But if you immediately act like it's a huge problem, the kid will believe it's a huge problem, and they'll be crying for reasons that have nothing to do with the amount of physical pain they're feeling.

So many of my problems as an adult stem from the fact that I never learned to cope with certain kinds of frustration as a kid. I wish the adults around me let me fail more often, even though it would've been frustrating and painful in the short term.

---

Sorry for not posting this earlier, but my gf just took and hid the 2 statues while she fell asleep.

I did read all the advice given, and most of them are really badass. I'll make sure to use them if they're needed in the future. I sincerely thank all of you that gave actually good, well thought out advices.
---

eat the child

---

Give it to God

---