Poll of the Day > Getting rejected for friendship sucks worse than getting rejected for a date

(+) Yeah! (+)

At least when you get rejected for a date you can go with the mindset that you can't choose who you are attracted to and they have just as much choice in not being interested in you as you do in being attracted to them

But when a super nice coworker, classmate, etc. turns down friendship what can you do other than think that you're too lame to be their friend?

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Maybe theyre too lame to appreciate you as a friend. Im sure there are other people that youll have a better vibe with.

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its a wild theory, but maybe stop trying to befriend people of the opposite sex, ok?

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We vibe pretty good though, and she's been the nicest and most helpful coworker I've had, and I've worked with actual friends

It just seemed like we were on the path to being real friends and not just work friends, it just sucks when you are really vibing with someone but they don't want to get closer

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Muscles posted...

But when a super nice coworker, classmate, etc. turns down friendship what can you do other than think that you're too lame to be their friend?

I've had coworkers who never went to hang out because they couldn't afford it. I think there could be various things going on other than that.

Edit: Oh you're basically asking a girl out. Make it a social thing with multiple people, it would be weird to ask a girl to hang out.

ClarkDuke posted...

its a wild theory, but maybe stop trying to befriend people of the opposite sex, ok?

I have other female friends, most of whom I met at work and things started pretty similar, and we are still friends years after we stopped working together, this time it was different

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BlackScythe0 posted...

I've had coworkers who never went to hang out because they couldn't afford it. I think there could be various things going on other than that.

Edit: Oh you're basically asking a girl out. Make it a social thing with multiple people, it would be weird to ask a girl to hang out.

Well most of the people at my work hang out with other coworkers so it's not that in this situation

And I told her I just wanted to be friends

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ClarkDuke posted...

its a wild theory, but maybe stop trying to befriend people of the opposite sex, ok?

But why?
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LinkPizza posted...

But why?

in the past he tried using it to guilt himself into a relationship. so its difficult to imagine his intentions are sincere this time, ok?

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ClarkDuke posted...

in the past he tried using it to guilt himself into a relationship. so its difficult to imagine his intentions are sincere this time, ok?

But what if his intentions are sincere this time? I don't want to assume anything just because he's done something once before... If he's done it multiple times, then it's probably ok to not trust him. But if it's only happened once, then maybe he's learned his lesson...
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LinkPizza posted...

But what if his intentions are sincere this time? I don't want to assume anything just because he's done something once before... If he's done it multiple times, then it's probably ok to not trust him. But if it's only happened once, then maybe he's learned his lesson...

hes done it more than once, but perhaps youre right this time, ok?

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LinkPizza posted...

But what if his intentions are sincere this time? I don't want to assume anything just because he's done something once before... If he's done it multiple times, then it's probably ok to not trust him. But if it's only happened once, then maybe he's learned his lesson...

I'm not even sure what he's talking about, I've never tried guilt trip anyone into being in a relationship with me

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Muscles posted...

I'm not even sure what he's talking about, I've never tried guilt trip anyone into being in a relationship with me

muscles, its like you want this to go south, stop, ok?

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I don't really mind this because I just assume people have busy lives.

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@Muscles is this that girl that you asked out to lunch?

what happened lol

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FatalAccident posted...

@Muscles is this that girl that you asked out to lunch?

what happened lol

Well last week she said maybe next week we could get lunch so today (last day we both work this week) I asked about it again and she said she's very busy, I got the hint this time and apologized, she was cool about it but it still sucks

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bro be honest with yourself man you sure youre not looking to be friends just as a backdoor into banging her? Weve all been there lol

if so then yeah move on

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FatalAccident posted...

bro be honest with yourself man you sure youre not looking to be friends just as a backdoor into banging her? Weve all been there lol

if so then yeah move on

I'm not saying I wouldn't bang her, I definitely would if given the chance, but she's been so nice and helpful and friendly that I thought it was developing that way

If she was just hot I would probably just be polite to her like all the other attractive girls at my work

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Yeah, there are about 20 reasons why someone won't be friends with someone else.

I couldn't possibly know the situation better than you do yourself but honestly sounds like you have feelings for her and are in denial about it

I didn't think it would be weird to think you're becoming friends with someone that regularly comes up and talks to you and is always doing a lot to help you, maybe I was just lucky with my last 2 jobs as far as making friends

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Like with a romantic relationship, friendships are sometimes not in the cards. You can't take it personally. I am sure everyone has met somebody that was nice enough, there wasn't anything wrong with them that you could even figure out, but you still just don't really like them for some reason.

I specifically don't like making friends with coworkers. Ill hang out in an after work event or whatever but have no interest in developing a normal friendship. I've got enough friends and I already don't see them.

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Muscles posted...

Well last week she said maybe next week we could get lunch so today (last day we both work this week) I asked about it again and she said she's very busy, I got the hint this time and apologized, she was cool about it but it still sucks

From her perspective that could easily be interpreted as you asking her on a date. Did you make intentions clear, like preface "just as friends"?

Ask her and maybe another co-worker you get along with to smoke a bowl after work and take it from there!

I've never been rejected for friendships or relationships because I've simply never tried to get these from people. Still I'd imagine not being friends if indeed worse. This situation though is more of a dating thing it seems. It should be easy enough to move on. If she isn't interested then she isn't interested. I will say though it's good you bit the bullet and at least tried to get something from her. Now you know the answer rather than wondering "what if?".

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I would never dare to ask one of my coworkers(Male or female) to hang out sometime after work.

I'm just too damn awkward to try to make friends myself.

If someone wants to hang out with me after work, they're gonna have to ask me themselves.

I mean, I would love to become closer friends with my coworkers but I just can't simply do it myself because I have so many mental blocks that prevents me from doing it.

What if I ask and it just gets really awkward afterwards?
Being at work would feel weird as hell and I'd probably start hating going to work and also started hating myself.
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Would you feel better if they just slapped your face.

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wwinterj25 posted...

I've never been rejected for friendships or relationships because I've simply never tried to get these from people. Still I'd imagine not being friends if indeed worse. This situation though is more of a dating thing it seems. It should be easy enough to move on. If she isn't interested then she isn't interested. I will say though it's good you bit the bullet and at least tried to get something from her. Now you know the answer rather than wondering "what if?".

Pretty much the only reason I ever asked anyone else is because the 1st time I asked a girl out she said no and I immediately felt more relief because a no is better than wondering what if every day all day, though I didn't have the same feeling this time because I was just trying to be friends

LeetCheet posted...

I would never dare to ask one of my coworkers(Male or female) to hang out sometime after work.

I'm just too damn awkward to try to make friends myself.

If someone wants to hang out with me after work, they're gonna have to ask me themselves.

I mean, I would love to become closer friends with my coworkers but I just can't simply do it myself because I have so many mental blocks that prevents me from doing it.

What if I ask and it just gets really awkward afterwards?
Being at work would feel weird as hell and I'd probably start hating going to work and also started hating myself.

Just bite the bullet and ask them, no one thinks its weird unless you ask them to go do some weird shit also it won't get awkward for you unless you let itget awkward for you

BUMPED2002 posted...

Would you feel better if they just slapped your face.

Well that definitely would have taken away all desire to be friends

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Smarkil posted...

I specifically don't like making friends with coworkers. Ill hang out in an after work event or whatever but have no interest in developing a normal friendship. I've got enough friends and I already don't see them.

I've flat out told coworkers that I need a lot of 'private time'. Then the next day they say "we haven't talked in forever!".

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Muscles posted...

Pretty much the only reason I ever asked anyone else is because the 1st time I asked a girl out she said no and I immediately felt more relief because a no is better than wondering what if every day all day, though I didn't have the same feeling this time because I was just trying to be friends

@Muscles

Yeah, I hear ya. I decided last yeah that I'll try to let someone I have feelings for know like a week or so after I develop those feelings, and then if they don't return my feelings I tell them I can accept that, and then continue being their friend, and try to get over it quickly.

The last person I confessed my feelings for could not have been kinder about the fact that they don't feel the same way., and we just kept continuing from where we left off afterwards. I got over it in a couple days, and they ended up becoming my second best friend. We text off and on a huge chunk of the day almost every day, and almost every night we watch stuff like anime and netflix fantasy/sci-fi shows while cuddling.

It's the most consistantly happy platonic relationship I've had in my life.

Btw, platonic cuddling for the win!

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I wish I had a great platonic relationship with someone : (
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Who cares theres more awesome people out their

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Youll realize that person sucks and move on

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LeetCheet posted...

I wish I had a great platonic relationship with someone : (

I'm sorry, took me a while to find that one really great friend myself.

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