Current Events > If all I need to be happy is to feel how I felt 10 years ago, is it possible?

(+) Yeah! (+)

Am I hopeless, or is reasonable to enjoy games, movies, and life the same way 10 years later if you want to?

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Sure, just start taking 5-HTP daily

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BignutzisBack posted...

Sure, just start taking 5-HTP daily

Interesting, some people have recommended 5htp to me, but I didn't think it was that big a deal.

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Nah I wouldn't rely on nostalgia too much. Find things that currently make you happy and stick with those.

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Xenozoa425 posted...

Nah I wouldn't rely on nostalgia too much. Find things that currently make you happy and stick with those.

Nothing currently makes me happy.

It doesn't have to be nostalgia, just comperable magnitude of excitement or happiness

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You could try finding something of a slow burn that you enjoy, on a small but consistent level. Worked for me when I got bored of vidya; I started documenting birds in my neighborhood.

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Evening_Dragon posted...

You could try finding something of a slow burn that you enjoy, on a small but consistent level. Worked for me when I got bored of vidya; I started documenting birds in my neighborhood.

It's sad some of us stop enjoying video games. I never signed up to stop enjoying them.

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Yes, but you have to realize that happiness shouldn't be your goal. That's probably what's changed between now and then. Back then you had less "context" for your behaviour and it was easy to just do what interested you and that made you happy. Now you're trying to chase that feeling instead of pursuing your interests and your passions (partially because of that context).

joe40001 posted...

I never signed up to stop enjoying them.

it's only natural that you stop feeling as happy if you never feel "sad". Happiness is only truly understood in contrast to sadness, misery, etc. Therefore you should be "happy" to experience the full gamut of emotion including happiness and sadness to get the most out of it.

The hardest thing as an adult is to shed all of the "context" you've accrued over the years. You can achieve this through altered states of consciousness, self-awareness and deep self-reflection. Face your demons, face your fears, embrace the "negative", etc. 5HTP is just a bandaid. It's useful in certain situations, but don't rely on it. There's other better stuff out there to help you in this aspect.

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Like what? What do I need to do to feel ok?

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Try new things. I find that when I'm in a rut that's when the bad thoughts come.

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joe40001 posted...

Like what? What do I need to do to feel ok?

read for starters

watertank posted...

The hardest thing as an adult is to shed all of the "context" you've accrued over the years. You can achieve this through altered states of consciousness, self-awareness and deep self-reflection. Face your demons, face your fears, embrace the "negative", etc. 5HTP is just a bandaid. It's useful in certain situations, but don't rely on it. There's other better stuff out there to help you in this aspect.

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watertank posted...

read for starters

It feels like you are alluding to some things but not specific.

I'm grateful for the advice, but really value concrete things I can do. Do you have any you'd recommend. How do I "face my demons"?

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I remember even getting drunk when I was a bit younger, the world felt like this open exciting place that I was floating in.

Now I have to drink a lot more and even after all that I'm far too grounded in blandness. I can't float anymore in the choas and joy of life. That's all I need for my heavy depression to lift, the ability to feel life again.

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How can I feel feelings again?

I've tried meds, most suck

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Maybe find a partner. But not someone that you have to depend on to be happy, but someone to share good times with.

Maybe start with a hobby. Exercise? Dieting? Building? Collecting?

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https://youtu.be/RsdoJ9x8IBs

joe40001 posted...

I remember even getting drunk when I was a bit younger, the world felt like this open exciting place that I was floating in.

Now I have to drink a lot more and even after all that I'm far too grounded in blandness. I can't float anymore in the choas and joy of life. That's all I need for my heavy depression to lift, the ability to feel life again.

https://youtu.be/rBpaUICxEhk

Btw to answer your question, what you need to be happy is to accept yourself and your situation as it is. This doesn't mean never improving, but it means, you are what you are. Do not compare yourself to another to feel lacking.

I had a time where I felt everything was empty. Mostly it was due to me feeling like I was empty because I did not accept myself as I was.

Is there something you feel your life is lacking besides these feelings? Money? Relationships? Love?

If it is simply meaning, then perhaps what you are lacking is creating something/leaving your mark on the world.
Maybe start painting or any similar thing that leaves a tangible thing you made.

Xenozoa425 posted...

Maybe find a partner. But not someone that you have to depend on to be happy, but someone to share good times with.

Maybe start with a hobby. Exercise? Dieting? Building? Collecting?

I've never had in person girlfriend so maybe that's it

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joe40001 posted...

I've never had in person girlfriend so maybe that's it

Having a girlfriend will not make you happy, but being upset that you never had one will indeed make you feel empty.

darkphoenix181 posted...

accept yourself and your situation as it is. This doesn't mean never improving, but it means, you are what you are. Do not compare yourself to another to feel lacking.

darkphoenix181 posted...

Having a girlfriend will not make you happy, but being upset that you never had one will indeed make you feel empty.

these

joe40001 posted...

How do I "face my demons"?

why do you think you're unhappy?

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watertank posted...

why do you think you're unhappy?

I think I need more purpose is the main thing, that and just liking myself more.

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Yeah idk man. I struggle with this myself honestly. For instance, right now my gf is napping and I have dozens of games I supposedly would like to play (I bought em) and movies I want to watch (I added em to my watchlist) but now that I have the opportunity I'm just kinda... Not doing anything

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I recently started lifting again like I did about a decade ago, and I usually listen to basically the same music. Every once in a while there will be a flood of the sort of feelings you're describing, like I'll be sent back 10 years and feel that expansive, open future full of possibilities but basically empty of obligations

As others have said you can't recreate those feelings I suppose since we've picked up a decade of new experiences that make our old attitudes a poor fit for our present circumstances

That said I do understand what you're asking here, if I can't feel that then what can I feel? Maybe we need to change something for the world to feel new again but the choices we made that lead us here weren't made for no reason, and discarding years of plans and obligations is harder than just not having them

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Balrog0 posted...

I recently started lifting again like I did about a decade ago, and I usually listen to basically the same music. Every once in a while there will be a flood of the sort of feelings you're describing, like I'll be sent back 10 years and feel that expansive, open future full of possibilities but basically empty of obligations

As others have said you can't recreate those feelings I suppose since we've picked up a decade of new experiences that make our old attitudes a poor fit for our present circumstances

That said I do understand what you're asking here, if I can't feel that then what can I feel? Maybe we need to change something for the world to feel new again but the choices we made that lead us here weren't made for no reason, and discarding years of plans and obligations is harder than just not having them

I do wonder if most mentally well people keep feeling those feelings their whole life, if depression is just the absence of those feelings, and we can get them back.

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bump

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joe40001 posted...

I think I need more purpose is the main thing, that and just liking myself more.

What helps me the most in terms of purpose is being creative (drawing, music, woodworking, programming, wtv you're interested in) and taking responsibility.

I'd say read into existential philosophy and here's a more specific list of things you can do to "face your demons"
https://www.russellbrand.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/03/russell-brand-recovery-the-program.pdf

hope it helps :)

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U could go to jail or an institution for a bit when your finally free you'll appreciate it

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watertank posted...

What helps me the most in terms of purpose is being creative (drawing, music, woodworking, programming, wtv you're interested in) and taking responsibility.

I'd say read into existential philosophy and here's a more specific list of things you can do to "face your demons"
https://www.russellbrand.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/03/russell-brand-recovery-the-program.pdf

hope it helps :)

[LFAQs-redacted-quote]


Thanks I'll look into both of these

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And to be clear I'm not chasing this crazy bliss happiness, I'm just looking to get the happiness back into my life that I used to feel. Just that magnitude. I know because there were days where I felt un-depressed and during those times other people in the world couldn't tell. To them the world felt the same, so if people can't tell when I feel ok, they don't necessarily know what I mean when I say things feel "not ok".

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I've heard people have recovered from depression, I've hear lots of adults aren't depressed, so it should be possible. But I still don't understand what it would take.

(this is also a stealth bump so this doesn't purge and i can re-read the advice tomorrow)

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One last bump in case anybody has anything left to add.

I'm actually feeling better today. I talked with somebody positive in my life and they are really good at helping me see the hope.

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ten years ago i was insecure and self-loathing

now i'm secure with myself and self-loathing

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joe40001 posted...

One last bump in case anybody has anything left to add.

I'm actually feeling better today. I talked with somebody positive in my life and they are really good at helping me see the hope.

All you really need sometimes is someone to point you in the right direction, or to hear something a certain way. It also helps to have something to take your mind off any negativity. Anything to keep your busy and productive. Hobbies, fitness, cooking, reading, etc. Those small changes lead to larger positive changes. You start eating better, sleeping better, feeling better. Your entire lifestyle changes.

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Don't be goal oriented. If all your thinking about is how to reattain that happiness, it won't happen.

Xenozoa425 posted...

start eating better, sleeping better, feeling better. Your entire lifestyle changes.

this is a good point, don't neglect your physical health. that's often the easiest way to "jump-start" feeling better.

a lot of advice from here carries over too:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=snAhsXyO3Ck

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