Current Events > Got ghosted by a girl because I told her Ive never had sex or a girlfriend.

(+) Yeah! (+)

I had a friend who did some escorting on the side. Only reason I know is because she asked me to be a driver and I would get 10%. I told her no because she told me that I would have to watch the money in the parking lot in between clients and I wasn't feelin' it. But anyways, if you do go the prostitute route I would say only do it for the experience. But once you give away your virginity you can't ever get it back. I'm sure you realize this, but just in case you want it to be with someone special I thought I'd bring it up. In regards to there being no pressure to perform with prostitutes, they won't say anything to your face but they do judge lol. My friend has told me stories of "the minute man" or "he was really small".
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A girl to me that and I did the same thing, she was 23.
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The thing is she didn't believe me. She wasn't like "Of course you are you freakin neckbeard"

@Genocet_10-325

How many adults do you know in this day and age who are voluntarily saving themselves for marriage? I'm going to guess the answer is "not many", assuming you live in a first world country

Forget "not many." That's not the point. You said that these people have self hate and pity themselves. I'm saying, I doubt that's true for most. You can't use your personal experience in life and apply it to everyone else.

You also have to consider STDs as well as viral infections and colds. No one wants to keep going to the doctor. And many women don't want to feel like they've been used.
Again, we just don't know and you can't label everyone as people who are self pitying and lack social skills.

You have people like @ReggieBush09 who find other forms of entertainment more exhilarating than having sex right now with some stranger or woman of the night.

It's okay if you personally love to seek out sex, but it's not a priority for many people. And that's okay too. It doesn't mean they hate themselves, pity themselves, or they're waiting. They just don't feel like it.
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I'm a 27 technical virgin, went to third base with a high school friend a bunch of times over the course of a few months when I was 19. Ended it because I was bored of her and haven't been able to get a girl since, biggest mistake of my life was not actually banging her to get that out of the way.

Have been using tinder lately with some success, will probably have a date lined up soon. This story makes me scared to tell the truth though, which sucks because I hate lying
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Mr_Karate_II posted...

Kineth posted...

CommonJoe posted...

Mr_Karate_II posted...

Why haven't you had sex before?

Well, he said he's never had a girlfriend, so I imagine that has something to do with it.

You don't have to have a girlfriend to have sex. Escorts are a thing.

You'd definitely know. No women would willingly date or fuck you unless they were getting paid.
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haloiscoolisbak posted...

I'm a 27 technical virgin, went to third base with a high school friend a bunch of times over the course of a few months when I was 19. Ended it because I was bored of her and haven't been able to get a girl since, biggest mistake of my life was not actually banging her to get that out of the way.

Have been using tinder lately with some success, will probably have a date lined up soon. This story makes me scared to tell the truth though, which sucks because I hate lying

Just say it's been awhile.
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Makeveli_lives posted...

Kineth posted...

CommonJoe posted...

Mr_Karate_II posted...

Why haven't you had sex before?

Well, he said he's never had a girlfriend, so I imagine that has something to do with it.

Prostitutes

legit how???

isn't it illegal

and supposedly you can't demand sex from an escort because they're "technically" not prostitutes

and how do you even get them??????

its way

way

waaaaaaaay easier to just get with dudes

getting girls is too damn hard i'm telling you
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Being a virgin over the age of 18 is weird.
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Lol @ "technical virgin"
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NinjaBreakfast posted...

Lol @ "technical virgin"

Well it's a term I heard someone use once and thought it was applicable. I mean I've experienced a type of sex just not intercourse

It was so long ago anyway
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thelastgooduser posted...

Being a virgin over the age of 18 is weird.

I'd say 25
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haloiscoolisbak posted...

NinjaBreakfast posted...

Lol @ "technical virgin"

Well it's a term I heard someone use once and thought it was applicable. I mean I've experienced a type of sex just not intercourse

It was so long ago anyway

My advice would be to never use that term again unless you want to become a 'lifelong virgin'
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Also when you're in my position you cling to any idea that makes you seem normal. It's only something that bothers me when I jump online and see how much fun is poked at virgins.

The stigma that virgins are losers/deserve to be mocked is pretty unfair imo
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haloiscoolisbak posted...

Also when you're in my position you cling to any idea that makes you seem normal. It's only something that bothers me when I jump online and see how much fun is poked at virgins.

The stigma that virgins are losers/deserve to be mocked is pretty unfair imo

Virgins in their 30's/40's are kinda open territory though. Typically it's a sign that something is definitely wrong with them on some level. There are always exceptions to the rule but a lot of them definitely are damaged in some way shape or form.
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Just lie about it and pretend what you know what your doing.
Thats what every virgin in high school does.
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MuayThai85 posted...

haloiscoolisbak posted...

Also when you're in my position you cling to any idea that makes you seem normal. It's only something that bothers me when I jump online and see how much fun is poked at virgins.

The stigma that virgins are losers/deserve to be mocked is pretty unfair imo

Virgins in their 30's/40's are kinda open territory though. Typically it's a sign that something is definitely wrong with them on some level. There are always exceptions to the rule but a lot of them definitely are damaged in some way shape or form.

I guess but it's still dumb imo. When I was 21 I was like 'okay I'm def losing it by 23, I'll hire an escort if I have to'

At 22 that cut off age for an escort moved to 24. Now here I am at 27 and im over setting a target age for myself. If I don't meet someone I really like til my thirties so be it. I'm sure someone will accept my situation I don't really buy the fact all girls have this black and white view of virgins
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The thing is, the majority do. I'm not saying a 30+ year old virgin can't possibly find a girl without lying to them about past partners/experience but most definitely won't give you a chance once they actually find out you're still a virgin who has never never really dated.

There was one user here who recently told a story about how is girlfriend broke up with him after finding out he was actually a virgin when he told her otherwise when they first started dating.
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Thats pretty shitty. I always thought being more honest was the mature way to go about it rather than pretending I had experience. Maybe if that guy didn't lie about it initially things may have turned out differently, maybe not

This is depressing the shit out of me now lol
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haloiscoolisbak posted...

Thats pretty shitty. I always thought being more honest was the mature way to go about it rather than pretending I had experience. Maybe if that guy didn't lie about it initially things may have turned out differently, maybe not

This is depressing the shit out of me now lol

That's how relationships should work, but it's not the way they do work in reality. If you're older than 20 and still a virgin, you lie and say it's been a while, or what happened to TC will happen to you 99% of the time. It sucks but it's just the way things are. No need to be depressed about it, just recognize it and change your behavior accordingly
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lmfao you idiot why didn't you lie
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shokan_warrior posted...

Makeveli_lives posted...

Kineth posted...

CommonJoe posted...

Mr_Karate_II posted...

Why haven't you had sex before?

Well, he said he's never had a girlfriend, so I imagine that has something to do with it.

Prostitutes

legit how???

isn't it illegal

and supposedly you can't demand sex from an escort because they're "technically" not prostitutes

and how do you even get them??????

its way

way

waaaaaaaay easier to just get with dudes

getting girls is too damn hard i'm telling you

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ImAMarvel posted...

Why do people give virgins so much shit for not being confident when people act like it's 100% okay that women will reject you simply for being a virgin who's never been in a relationship? How are they supposed to be confident and comfortable with themselves when people ITT are saying that they're weird and undateable for remaining a virgin past a certain age?

Because being able to handle rejection and bouncing back or being able to work past the initial rejection are important skills to have. I don't necessarily think people are giving virgins shit about confidence in this topic though and I don't think anyone has said it's ok or "100% okay" for women to do that.

The people saying that it's weird past a certain age are, for the most part, trolling. That said, being a virgin into your 30s is an oddity, if nothing else.
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I mean, to an extent yes a guy in his THIRTIES that has never had sex suggests to me he's some sort of maladjusted shut in that never goes out or does anything. I mean, how can you go that length of time without meeting at least one person you romantically hit it off with?

ArchiePeck posted...

I mean, to an extent yes a guy in his THIRTIES that has never had sex suggests to me he's some sort of maladjusted shut in that never goes out or does anything. I mean, how can you go that length of time without meeting at least one person you romantically hit it off with?

Being a virgin doesn't necessarily mean that you've never romantically hit it off with someone.
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ArchiePeck posted...

I mean, to an extent yes a guy in his THIRTIES that has never had sex suggests to me he's some sort of maladjusted shut in that never goes out or does anything. I mean, how can you go that length of time without meeting at least one person you romantically hit it off with?

i'm not 30 YET but i can see it happening to me

i do not comprehend flirting and i don't have any actual "friends" except people i know at work

i am incapable of saying the right things in the moment

i need to prepare beforehand but that usually fails

i have SOME understanding and can pretend to not be bothered/nervous and can attempt to hold a conversation if i really need to but i lose interest very easily and cannot get myself to ask important questions and so on

as i have no friends i do not "party" or drink or anything

i plan to go to vegas later this year for the Olympia alone

no one will come with me and i'm not going to do any other things besides just support my favorite guys on stage

i do not know any good way to meet people, both male and female

its not THAT big a deal for me

i have too much responsibilities with my family, i cannot handle a girlfriend atm

to me sex is one half of the sacred duality of life and death

i haven't killed anyone so to me its the same

its a HEAVY responsibility

i don't understand how people can just do it without taking pregnancy into consideration

i do not support abortion in cases of consensual sex that are not incestuous

many people i know have had unplanned children and i know a few single mothers

i do not want to be a father without his child nor do i want to be a father when i do not have my own house

all i want to do is chill

i understand that i'm not good enough to get a decent girl anyway

i have somewhat bad teeth and my life is pretty disorganized

i'm not a good looking dude and i'm not some super shredded guy

i'm not very tall and the ONLY thing i have going for me is my voice that is pretty deep

i have NO social skills and am unwilling to mingle

imma quote this again
shokan_warrior posted...

shokan_warrior posted...

Makeveli_lives posted...

Kineth posted...

CommonJoe posted...

Mr_Karate_II posted...

Why haven't you had sex before?

Well, he said he's never had a girlfriend, so I imagine that has something to do with it.

Prostitutes

legit how???

isn't it illegal

and supposedly you can't demand sex from an escort because they're "technically" not prostitutes

and how do you even get them??????

its way

way

waaaaaaaay easier to just get with dudes

getting girls is too damn hard i'm telling you

if i wanted sex i feel i could just pay for it but how exactly does one do it legally????

again

i do not want to waste money on some Kant who would just refuse sex because "i'm not a prostitute"

i've decided to just get over it and live in peace
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@shokan_warrior I drove escorts for years, trust me, all escorts are hookers. They say on the ads that it's money spent on companionship and anything that happens is between consenting adults as a way to get around the law. You aren't going to pay an escort then have her say "oh, I don't fuck, I just hang out and talk". Once you're in the room you can always discuss services anyways. Hell, message them asking about services (go online and learn the acronyms).

I don't understand how people can just do it without taking pregnancy into consideration

Because it isn't really a risk with some commonsense. Wearing a condom is almost always effective, more so if you pull out when you're about to finish. My wife got pregnant the first time I finished inside her. After that she has still never gone on birth control and I never wear condoms but she hasn't gotten pregnant again because I always pull out. Pull out method is quite effective if you have some self-control.
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ImAMarvel posted...

Why do people give virgins so much shit for not being confident when people act like it's 100% okay that women will reject you simply for being a virgin who's never been in a relationship? How are they supposed to be confident and comfortable with themselves when people ITT are saying that they're weird and undateable for remaining a virgin past a certain age?

Because if you're a Virgin in your 30s and you ever want to have sex then you lie. If you refuse to lie about your experience at that point don't expect sympathy about still never getting to lose your virginity

@shokan_warrior who gives a fuck if it's illegal? Seriously your chances of going to jail for having sex with a prostitute one time is less than negligible, you're more likely to go to jail for jaywalking
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MuayThai85 posted...

@shokan_warrior I drove escorts for years, trust me, all escorts are hookers. They say on the ads that it's money spent on companionship and anything that happens is between consenting adults as a way to get around the law. You aren't going to pay an escort then have her say "oh, I don't fuck, I just hang out and talk". Once you're in the room you can always discuss services anyways. Hell, message them asking about services (go online and learn the acronyms).

I don't understand how people can just do it without taking pregnancy into consideration

Because it isn't really a risk with some commonsense. Wearing a condom is almost always effective, more so if you pull out when you're about to finish. My wife got pregnant the first time I finished inside her. After that she has still never gone on birth control and I never wear condoms but she hasn't gotten pregnant again because I always pull out. Pull out method is quite effective if you have some self-control.

why have sex if i can't bust nuts deep inside, hodgetwins style
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Genocet_10-325 posted...

haloiscoolisbak posted...

Thats pretty shitty. I always thought being more honest was the mature way to go about it rather than pretending I had experience. Maybe if that guy didn't lie about it initially things may have turned out differently, maybe not

This is depressing the shit out of me now lol

That's how relationships should work, but it's not the way they do work in reality. If you're older than 20 and still a virgin, you lie and say it's been a while, or what happened to TC will happen to you 99% of the time. It sucks but it's just the way things are. No need to be depressed about it, just recognize it and change your behavior accordingly

I don't think this is necessarily true BUT I feel like a lot of people in this situ see 'honesty' as 'stream of consciousness outpouring of every insecurity and issue attached to their virginity upon being given the opportunity to do so'. I think if you approach these things normally with a partner then it's not an issue.
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shokan_warrior posted...

MuayThai85 posted...

@shokan_warrior I drove escorts for years, trust me, all escorts are hookers. They say on the ads that it's money spent on companionship and anything that happens is between consenting adults as a way to get around the law. You aren't going to pay an escort then have her say "oh, I don't fuck, I just hang out and talk". Once you're in the room you can always discuss services anyways. Hell, message them asking about services (go online and learn the acronyms).

I don't understand how people can just do it without taking pregnancy into consideration

Because it isn't really a risk with some commonsense. Wearing a condom is almost always effective, more so if you pull out when you're about to finish. My wife got pregnant the first time I finished inside her. After that she has still never gone on birth control and I never wear condoms but she hasn't gotten pregnant again because I always pull out. Pull out method is quite effective if you have some self-control.

why have sex if i can't bust nuts deep inside, hodgetwins style

That's where the part about self control comes in. Sure, not pulling out is amazing but it's what will increase the odds of pregnancy, even with a condom/her on birth control. Though, once we found out she was pregnant I didn't pull out again until after the baby.
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I have a friend that's in a similar predicament. He's only one ever had one girlfriend, which was exclusively online.

I want to help him find a date/gf
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If you want sex bad enough, youll get it (but you cant force it)

But if it is not very high on your list of things you want to do, then of course it wont happen.
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shokan_warrior posted...

MuayThai85 posted...

@shokan_warrior I drove escorts for years, trust me, all escorts are hookers. They say on the ads that it's money spent on companionship and anything that happens is between consenting adults as a way to get around the law. You aren't going to pay an escort then have her say "oh, I don't fuck, I just hang out and talk". Once you're in the room you can always discuss services anyways. Hell, message them asking about services (go online and learn the acronyms).

I don't understand how people can just do it without taking pregnancy into consideration

Because it isn't really a risk with some commonsense. Wearing a condom is almost always effective, more so if you pull out when you're about to finish. My wife got pregnant the first time I finished inside her. After that she has still never gone on birth control and I never wear condoms but she hasn't gotten pregnant again because I always pull out. Pull out method is quite effective if you have some self-control.

why have sex if i can't bust nuts deep inside, hodgetwins style

Abortion is a thing. I got my ex pregnant 3 times in 3 years. Neither of us ever wanted kids so they were aborted.
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lww99 posted...

I have a friend that's in a similar predicament. He's only one ever had one girlfriend, which was exclusively online.

I want to help him find a date/gf

Honestly, if it was exclusively online then he really didn't have a girlfriend. It's not a real relationship if you've never seen each other in person.
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send her a gif of a ghost waving goodbye
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RedWhiteBlue posted...

What about the guys that want sex but don't want to use a lame ass condom?

Beggars can't be choosers.
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Can't get sex because no experience
Can't get experience because no sex

I'd say I've been there but.....I haven't
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RchHomieQuanChi posted...

Can't get sex because no experience
Can't get experience because no sex

I'd say I've been there but.....I haven't

its like getting a job

you NEED someone to hook you up
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NOM posted...

Cotton_Eye_Joe posted...

Do girls think there is something wrong with people in their 30s who've never had sex?

Yes.

Because there is.

Genocet_10-325 posted...

Yes, they do. If you get asked this in the future, lie. Or it will happen again.

If you're uncomfortable lying, then get over the discomfort or prepare to have this happen many more times

Jeez, you guys are harsh.

But to be fair, it is rather anomalous for a 30+ person to have never had sex. Have you had any sexual activity at all, like a blow or handjob? And whats the reason for your continued virginity?
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RchHomieQuanChi posted...

Can't get sex because no experience
Can't get experience because no sex

I'd say I've been there but.....I haven't

Which is why you LIE ABOUT YOUR EXPERIENCE. They aren't going to demand references and verify them like it's a job interview. They will take your word for it
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superman 2000 posted...

NOM posted...

Cotton_Eye_Joe posted...

Do girls think there is something wrong with people in their 30s who've never had sex?

Yes.

Because there is.

Genocet_10-325 posted...

Yes, they do. If you get asked this in the future, lie. Or it will happen again.

If you're uncomfortable lying, then get over the discomfort or prepare to have this happen many more times

Jeez, you guys are harsh.

But to be fair, it is rather anomalous for a 30+ person to have never had sex. Have you had any sexual activity at all, like a blow or handjob? And whats the reason for your continued virginity?

how do some guys get a bj or hj and NOT go all the way

shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiet

i haven't even touched a girl/held hands and these limp dudes can have a girl wank them??????

whaaaaaaaaaaaat

and its not like i'm some super ugly dude or anything

i've HAD opportunities, i'm just too autistic to make anything work and i will NOT accept charity
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Every now and then, it's nice to get a clear reminder of how weird CE is when it comes to sex.

Well, sex isn't that hard to get.

Sex with a girl that looks even moderately attractive though....probably difficult for a guy with no confidence.
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next time you don;t have to lie, you can just say the truth in an overtly exagerated way as a joke and she will see you in a good light when you have the confidence to use self deprecating humor.

When I was in HS I was a kisless virgin, I saw a dude joke about how he had never been kissed and the girls around him were like "suuuuure, heheee~" and in my head I was like "damn, I hope I can someday do that and make it feel natural as well as he did" and after getting trough the rough patch and having some notches in the belt I was able to joke like that and I noticed that if you do it with confidence it just works.

Those were lies because the dude had obviously kissed before as well as the time I worded it as "yeah, I am still a virgin, saving myself for marriage" which was an obvious lie and the girls picked up on it in the same way that it did for the HS dude.

You can do the same thing, it would not be a lie but saying it with confidence and exageration might help you in the same way.
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does kissing/boning a dude count?
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ImAMarvel posted...

Kineth posted...

Because being able to handle rejection and bouncing back or being able to work past the initial rejection are important skills to have.

Okay but it really seems like rejecting a man because he's a virgin and/or doesn't have any relationship experience is damn near ubiquitous among women. Doesn't it seem kind of close-minded for that to be an automatic "no"?

What's your point? I already said I don't think it's fair. Don't hate the player, hate the game. You're focusing on the wrong thing.

This is a supposition on my part, but I'd wager that some of the reasoning behind the rejection has to do with how said virgin portrays themselves. Honestly, the biggest thing I learned after losing my virginity is that it really doesn't matter that much. Some people might suspect that if you're a virgin, you'll become too clingy after doing the act, which is a realistic possibility, but unfair to assume.

I guess to end this rant before it gets out of hand, how you act may have more to do with it than the virginity itself.
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