Board 8 > Whats going on in your life right now? [blogfaqs]

(+) Yeah! (+)

I notice a lot of us got married and have kids, but I only really have a side view of who is in what situation. Let's keep each other updated!

Personally, after buying a house last year with my wife, she decided she didn't want to have kids ever while she was pregnant. This lead to us getting a divorce, me moving out, and buying a new, much much smaller house. Me and her are still on good terms and pretty good friends, but even the smoothest divorce is pretty darn rough.

Divorce is really an incredible thing, I spent my entire lift dreading it because of my parents splitting when I was little, but now that I'm starting to come out of the other end, there's a lot of positives. The process itself is devastating, being a divorced man is akin to being a man in a mental institute and trying to convince yourself you aren't insane. The thoughts that go through your head are almost cartoonishly villainous, and they are completely relentless. For a few months it it was like having an audio recorder strapped to my head that said things like "You don't really deserve love" "do you REALLY have a reason to stay alive" "Everything you love learns to hate you" To anyone who gets to the area, the key to overcoming is to just change the wording of these phrases to positive critiques "You need to become someone who deserves love" "You need to better yourself for the sake of everyone who has ever helped keep you alive" "You don't get to stop loving just because other people hate you" These phrases, instead of being cruel and heavy, have pushed me to improvement.

Which brings me to the positive side, I've become such a productive person because of the dark cloud of gloom constantly strangling me. If every time you leave dishes unwashed you're reminded of your failure as a partner and husband, you start to wash those dishes!! I've spent the year learning woodworking and Mandarin, and I've become fairly proficient fairly fast just because I'm using almost all my free time to meet these goals.

I decided to do try international dating, a common tactic for divorced men. I felt a little embarrassed about it at first, but I like it a lot! Technology makes it so your relationship is 90% the same whether your partner lives with you or is across the sea, plus culture and language exchange is such a great foundation to start building a relationship on. She's coming to visit next week, so I guess we'll see if she's planning on murdering me and stealing all my stuff (if she does the jokes on her, I have no stuff!)

Anyway you guys don't have to go as in depth as me, I just started typing and this turned legit real. I guess I haven't been able to collect my thoughts about the past few months until now
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Tag
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can i come
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My girlfriend moved to North Korea for a job.

So I'm essentially long distance relationshipping on hard mode. It kinda sucks.
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Still single, meh. But I got back into theatre about a year and a half ago which I hadn't done since high school. It has improved my social life and just overall happiness a lot and makes me hopeful for what's to come. I think I have found my niche playing comedic roles, and just finished playing Lefou in Beauty and the Beast.
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Russian mail order bride?
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Went on a nice hike yesterday.

https://imgur.com/gallery/iQl8pbq
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birthday was saturday, stocks ive invested in have been doing really well past few weeks, so i took a little profit there. Went out with a girl 2 weeks ago, but I dont think she was super interested oh well.

Gaming mostly just retro stuff.
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Still Single.

Self-Healing after a crappy Q4 2017 after eliminating Toxic selfish family. Things seem to be looking up at work.

Currently Digging up an old project I sort of left to rot for more than a decade but never completely forgot about it. I think it's more about making peace with my past, going backwards to in fully go forward.
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Saving for a new house, car, and preparing for our first child
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Getting married in a few months.

Job has gotten increasingly stressful. It's compounded by the fact that the commute is like 2 hours. I work from home 2 days a week, but it's not enough to make up for that. I've been sort of looking for a new job, but I'm not sure I'll find one with comparable pay, since the money is pretty nice. But even then, it might be worth it since it's slowly sucking the enjoyment out of everything I like.
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BlackDra90n posted...

My girlfriend moved to North Korea for a job.

So I'm essentially long distance relationshipping on hard mode. It kinda sucks.

also what

What kind of job?
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Gin have you made that ice axe yet
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neonreaper posted...

Gin have you made that ice axe yet

Yes, but I can't let you see it
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Damn man, I didn't realize the specifics of why the divorce happened, that's rough.

Cool as hell you're learning Mandarin though.

Uh, what's going on with me?

I just had my second kid on the 15th(exactly one week before my 30th birthday), a daughter. She's perfectly healthy and typical, which makes raising her much different than my son.

I'm also still going to school for Information Systems Networking, and my last class is next month. I should be done by the end of July, which I'm excited for. In the meantime, I'm trying to get a job, preferably a cushy government job, but it's taking soooooo long. The job listing closed on the 13th of April, and it still has me listed as a top candidate, but I haven't had an interview yet and the position still hasn't been filled.

I bought a house 2 years ago with a fully forested half acre, and after $20,000 it's now fully cleared and sodded, just have to wait for it to root and I can start manicuring it and the remaining trees.

Other than that, I dunno, I guess I'm in a holding pattern right now, I need my kids to get a little older and to get a job so I can progress a little bit, everything in my life right now feels half-finished.
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VintageGin posted...

BlackDra90n posted...

My girlfriend moved to North Korea for a job.

So I'm essentially long distance relationshipping on hard mode. It kinda sucks.

also what

What kind of job?

Russian and Korean translation.

Yea it's weird, long story.
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I mean this topic is sort of designed for weird long stories
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ChaosTonyV4 posted...

I just had my second kid on the 15th(exactly one week before my 30th birthday), a daughter. She's perfectly healthy and typical, which makes raising her much different than my son.

How are things going with your son btw
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neonreaper posted...

Russian mail order bride?

Chinese Mail order!

Actually just met through international match dot com, which I recommend to anyone who has ever considered dating overseas
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Nothin' really specific happening- still married, still doing pretty okay. Gonna try to replace my car over the summer, and then in theory the next three years we're gonna go for a house, a vacation to Japan, and a baby, not necessarily in that order
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Got married, graduated finally. Adopted two adorable yet insane dogs. Looking for a job sucks. Trying to figure out when Im going to be ready to give up the little bit of my freedom I have left and start popping out kids.

Lifes pretty good right now I guess!
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How are you enjoying married life mr. Moon
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Bumpo

Countie blogging
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u can u up no can no bb
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I've got an interview up at my university tomorrow afternoon for a spot in a leadership group. If I don't get in to the organization, my schedule will probably be screwed up and I'll have to take a cut on my scholarship because I won't be able to take 15 credit hours in my degree plan, which is required for me to receive full funding.

So I'm a little stressed about it, but I'm still confident that I'll make it in. I need to give a 5 minute presentation on someone who has influenced my leadership, and then I'll do the main body of the interview which should take around 20 to 30 minutes.

Otherwise, I'm recording some demo tracks of my original music, and I'm trying to blast through a ton of video games and books I haven't played/read yet before the summer is over. I have a bunch of free time due to being in-between semesters and I don't want to waste it!
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Still living in China. Still working at the same Kindergarten just rounding out my second year here and looking to sort out visa for a 3rd/4th year. Been dating my girlfriend for about 7 months and living together for about 3 month. We are currently in the process of deciding what type of dog we want to buy which is tougher than it seems because I've had dogs all my life so i'm experienced with raising even large unruly dogs but my girlfriend has never had a dog and is a little intimdated by the prospect of trying to control a large dog.

Recently got back from a short trip to Japan for a friends birthday and loved my time there. I'd recommend it to anybody. Currently trying to work out a budget for next year to plan vacations around. Spring festival is late January I think next year. Suggestions are welcome, I've visited Phillipines, Indonesia, Japan and Australia so maybe looking for somewhere new but I'm not against the idea of re-visiting any of those places.
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SantaRPidgey posted...

ChaosTonyV4 posted...

I just had my second kid on the 15th(exactly one week before my 30th birthday), a daughter. She's perfectly healthy and typical, which makes raising her much different than my son.

How are things going with your son btw

Good! He has/had a blood disorder and it's dormant/in remission/resolved for the time being, but we'll still have to monitor him quarterly until he's 5.

Other than that, he's being rambunctious as hell, and we're working through his developmental delays by going to speech therapy twice a week. It's a busy time.
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5tarscream posted...

Still living in China. Still working at the same Kindergarten just rounding out my second year here and looking to sort out visa for a 3rd/4th year. Been dating my girlfriend for about 7 months and living together for about 3 month. We are currently in the process of deciding what type of dog we want to buy which is tougher than it seems because I've had dogs all my life so i'm experienced with raising even large unruly dogs but my girlfriend has never had a dog and is a little intimdated by the prospect of trying to control a large dog.

Recently got back from a short trip to Japan for a friends birthday and loved my time there. I'd recommend it to anybody. Currently trying to work out a budget for next year to plan vacations around. Spring festival is late January I think next year. Suggestions are welcome, I've visited Phillipines, Indonesia, Japan and Australia so maybe looking for somewhere new but I'm not against the idea of re-visiting any of those places.

If you come to Japan again hit me up I can show you around some cool places!
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Divorcing on good terms is way better than divorcing on bad ones. Always good to hear things ending amicably.

In my life, my oldest daughter is finishing middle school, and my middle two are finishing pre-school. (While my youngest is getting ready to start pre-school). Time just fucking flies anymore. It scares me that my oldest is going to be in high school. Granted, I didn't even know she existed until a few years ago. But I think that makes it all the more jarring. I missed so much time, and now before you know it, she'll be off to college. 4 years. 4 years fucking flies. It's nothing anymore. If you asked me that when I was in high school, I'd say 4 years was forever.
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Ashethan posted...

Granted, I didn't even know she existed until a few years ago

This deserves some backstory
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5tarscream posted...

Still living in China. Still working at the same Kindergarten just rounding out my second year here and looking to sort out visa for a 3rd/4th year.

How are you enjoying it there? How good is your mandarin?
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SantaRPidgey posted...

This deserves some backstory

When I was in college, I hooked up with this waitress one night. It was just a one-night thing--wasn't my plan exactly or anything. Just happened that way. We exchanged numbers, and I called her once a few days later, but by then she was already seeing someone else. So I moved on. She found out she was pregnant, assumed the other guy was the father. From there, I don't know much of the story. I know eventually, the guy got a DNA test done, found out he wasn't the father and skedaddled. Her friends wanted her to track down the father so she could be supported financially (she was still a waitress). She didn't want to--she was afraid of losing custody because she had a drug problem. Apparently, we had friends who were mutual friends and they were able to track me down. But they didn't contact me because they wanted to respect her wishes. At least... until she died of an overdose. That's when they decided to contact me--felt I had a right to know, and that my daughter had a right to know her father.We had a DNA test done so I could get custody--and that was about four years ago now.

My wife was pretty freaked about it. I mean we had 3 kids already. And she definitely didn't sign up to be a step-mom. It took us all a lot of time to adjust. Not sure I would have been mature enough to be a father back then. I'd like to think I would have stepped up. Wish I had the chance, but that's life..
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Hitting my 2 year wedding anniversary soon, Son is just over 1 year old now. Youtube channel we've been dumping a ton of time and effort into is also reaching its 2 year mark. Love life for the most part, work can be quite stressful at times but I'm managing it.

Blood pressure is apparently something to watch. Got on some pills to help keep it down, just one each day not a big deal.

One aspect I've let fall to the wayside in my life is my physical health. I find it so hard to find the time or energy to get up and move around. I have so much going on at all times, and my brain is constantly held down by all the things I need to get done. Being a father, husband, home owner, 3 pets, the central hub for all my friends, recording and editing a daily show, and trying to find time for extended family, my days just vanish.

Any tips on how to get in shape for someone who has 0 time to do so would be appreciated!
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wg64Z posted...

Any tips on how to get in shape for someone who has 0 time to do so would be appreciated!

Eat right. Walk with your kids and dogs. (That's time spent with your kids, your pets, AND getting exercise). Invest in some decent home equipment so you can exercise when you can. You don't necessarily have to do it every day. But it takes up a lot less time than going to the gym.
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Read the book good calories bad calories.

Instant loss of 20 pounds guaranteed
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lol books
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You can also listen to the audio book! Thats what I did. It is a pretty heavy book
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being engaged

owning a house

wrapping up the school year

having a tumor on my spinal cord being removed in a week

same old
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candy topic
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TexasZea posted...

having a tumor on my spinal cord being removed in a week

Wtfff

That has to be scary as hell.

Well I was just reading the other day that even if you get paralyzed from the waist down you can still have orgasms so worst case scenario your stil get the fun stuff
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SantaRPidgey posted...

TexasZea posted...

having a tumor on my spinal cord being removed in a week

Wtfff

That has to be scary as hell.

Well I was just reading the other day that even if you get paralyzed from the waist down you can still have orgasms so worst case scenario your stil get the fun stuff

it is scary but I can deal with it since I've had surgeries before. nothing on my spine but people have this surgery and are fine after all the time though.
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I'm stillll in college. Living with my BF who I met on here. Got a cat kind of recently.
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SantaRPidgey posted...

How are you enjoying married life mr. Moon

it's pretty great!
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SantaRPidgey posted...

neonreaper posted...

Russian mail order bride?

Chinese Mail order!

Actually just met through international match dot com, which I recommend to anyone who has ever considered dating overseas

That's not really a good idea but hey I don't wanna spoil your optimism. Good luck.

Also what happened to the kid wasn't your wife pregnant when she decided against kids ? Single dad or?

Also props for coming out of divorce smoothly and with your shit intact (mentally speaking). I've heard many horror stories from guys at work.

I'm married with 2 kids and an annoying af dog.
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FlyingForever posted...

Also what happened to the kid wasn't your wife pregnant when she decided against kids ? Single dad or?

abortion

FlyingForever posted...

That's not really a good idea but hey I don't wanna spoil your optimism. Good luck.

If I had a dime every time someone told me these exact words!
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TheGoddamnSanta posted...

FlyingForever posted...

Also what happened to the kid wasn't your wife pregnant when she decided against kids ? Single dad or?

abortion

FlyingForever posted...

That's not really a good idea but hey I don't wanna spoil your optimism. Good luck.

If I had a dime every time someone told me these exact words!

What makes you believe it's legitimate?

And sorry about the first question.
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what makes me think she's a legitimate person? I mean We've video chatted, we send each other voice messages/photos every day, phone called almost every night, and she's paying for her trip down.

So if she's a scammer she's really earning her money!

No worries, when people go through something like that, they've gone through it. Nothing you can say to me can make me feel better or worse
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Was promised a promotion to be a sys admin like half a year ago
They keep on dragging me around, telling me "soon"
Meanwhile I am extremely worn out, overqualified helpdesk support that is just tired of hearing stupid people
I have monitored most recurring problems, I have auto-fix for most of them (Powershell is amazing) and I keep those tools for myself because my team is full of idiots and they don't deserve it
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