Board 8 > Let's talk about the users, Day 7: foolmo

(+) Yeah! (+)

The emotional conflict happened way after I made the topic. Several months at least. She took some time to sort things out. It was a couple months between me telling her everything and us actually dating. When I first told her, it was like a "I love you." "Oh. Thank you." kinda thing.

Ah, okay.

So it's possible people telling you back off had the right of it at that time since timing is pretty important for these kinda things.

I'm glad it worked out for you, though. Inspirational! And honestly bailing on the board probably was the right thing to do regardless because I'd imagine if you were constantly listening to the peanut gallery here you might not have done it then when the moment was right, either.
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Ok so you told her you love her before you even started dating

That is definitely not a good way to do things
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foolmo I don't think that works as a blanket statement like that

Lopen posted...

So it's possible people telling you back off had the right of it at that time since timing is pretty important for these kinda things.

As for this, nothing the board knew changed between then and when it all came out.

I mean in the end we're happily dating no matter how you slice it. It just amuses me that people would say things like it was "luck" or "not smart" or "definitely not a good way to go about it" when context clearly trumps all that and it worked out. /shrug

I'm not saying the board was right to say don't do it-- they were obviously more wrong than right. I'm just saying if you force those kinda conversations when it's not the right time it might not have the same impact or result. I mean maybe it didn't matter and you could've done it at any point to the same effect but you never know.
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turbopuns2 posted...

foolmo I don't think that works as a blanket statement like that

Blanket statements don't have to apply to 100% of cases. If you told her you loved her before you started dating, you are an outlier. You better hope she doesn't break up with you because those tactics won't work a second time.
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By far the most sarcastic and condescending user on the board, but hes usually very clever about it, so its hard not to like him.

Its interesting thinking back, because I clearly remember him not being like this. I wonder what specifically happened in his life to make him this way. The DWMF topic crowd could probably speak on it more.

Overrall great poster imo
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EndOfDiscOne posted...

If you told her you loved her before you started dating, you are an outlier. You better hope she doesn't break up with you because those tactics won't work a second time.

Dating is just a way to get know someone and share experiences. If he'd been seeing her 6x more often than her husband for two years without officially dating then it's like whatever man. He'd probably had more interaction with her than a lot of dating couples have in that amount of time.
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Foolmo sits on a throne of lies.
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ChaosTonyV4 posted...

Its interesting thinking back, because I clearly remember him not being like this. I wonder what specifically happened in his life to make him this way. The DWMF topic crowd could probably speak on it more.

from what i remember he's always been like this. maybe he used to be different and i just didn't notice him back then though.
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ChaosTonyV4 posted...

By far the most sarcastic and condescending user on the board, but hes usually very clever about it, so its hard not to like him.

Its interesting thinking back, because I clearly remember him not being like this. I wonder what specifically happened in his life to make him this way. The DWMF topic crowd could probably speak on it more.

Overrall great poster imo

everyone gets cooler when they hang with me
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SmartMuffin posted...

ChaosTonyV4 posted...

By far the most sarcastic and condescending user on the board, but hes usually very clever about it, so its hard not to like him.

Its interesting thinking back, because I clearly remember him not being like this. I wonder what specifically happened in his life to make him this way. The DWMF topic crowd could probably speak on it more.

Overrall great poster imo

everyone gets cooler when they hang with me

by proxy
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She wasn't married btw

I realized I typoed didn't actually care to correct it cause whatever
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Punnyz posted...

he seems like a decent dude but since he started making web games for Taco Bell gift cards hes become pretty arrogant at times

Oh SHIT
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EndOfDiscOne posted...

turbopuns2 posted...

foolmo I don't think that works as a blanket statement like that

Blanket statements don't have to apply to 100% of cases. If you told her you loved her before you started dating, you are an outlier. You better hope she doesn't break up with you because those tactics won't work a second time.

Do you see the irony of your statement? How can you say "blanket isn't 100%" then immediately turn around and say "what you did will never work again." Lol.

See like, this is why I say context matters.

It's not as if "tell her you love her out of nowhere" is some tactic I keep up my sleeve and haphazardly apply it on a whim. It's like you think if I run into a woman at a bar a few times I'll just propose to her the fourth time we meet.

If you love someone, and you are sure you truly love them, it's probably not a bad idea to tell them...especially if you've been weighing the pros and cons for like a year.

turbopuns2 posted...

foolmo I don't think that works as a blanket statement like that

It does. Your single data point doesn't discredit the general advice.
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Punnyz posted...

he seems like a decent dude but since he started making web games for Taco Bell gift cards hes become pretty arrogant at times

So true actually
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I bet foolmoron kisses dogs on their mouths
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foolm0r0n posted...

turbopuns2 posted...

foolmo I don't think that works as a blanket statement like that

It does. Your single data point doesn't discredit the general advice.

I never suggested that your logic fails strictly because of what happened to me. It's simply one instance of the counter example

Now if you look at all the instances in human history when someone told someone else they love them prior to dating...yes, surely by percentage, most of those won't end in a happy relationship (or any relationship)

But you can't just blanket say straight up "doing X is always bad and wrong" when there are observable, measurable circumstances in which you can realize that doing X is clearly not a bad idea

It's just that most often whenever someone does it, they do so without good reason. Sometimes people have good reason

Walk across a bar and say "I love you please date me?" Yeah that works 0%.

Ok so my argument is not statistical. My argument is that in any case, saying you love someone that early is inferior to the alternative choice of waiting a bit.

It worked out for you, but you still fucked up. It would've been better and safer if you didn't do that. You can't say that it was a good idea just because the end result was good for you.
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