Board 8 > ~FIGHT!~ McClane,Rick,Scott, Shrek,Natsuki,BWitch v. Hulk/Ash/Jon/Po/Stripe

(+) Yeah! (+)

John McClane/Rick Grimes/Daryl Dixon/Scott Pilgrim/Shrek/Natsuki/Blair Witch have challenged Hulk Hogan/Ash Williams/Jon Snow/Po/Stripe to a fight! Location of the fight: Black Hills Forest - The Black Hills Forest is as seen in Blair Witch, a befuddling maze in which paths seem to loop around onto each other, time behaves strangely, there are deadly parasites in the water and daylight never breaks. Oddly enough, this is only how it will seem for the Witch's opposing team; her own team will see it as a fairly ordinary forest. There will conveniently be an extensive vent system just large enough for a male adult to navigate installed throughout the terrain.. Which side will win?

Guidelines
- The fight will occur in real-time (like an FMV sequence). Tv/Movie mechanics are less important than how the characters would function in a real-time environment.
- The members of each team are ideal teammates capable of a pre-selected plan of battle.
- "Broken" refers to a lot of things, including insta-death, auto-effects, a variety of status effects (e.g., Imp, Silence, Stop, *not* Poison), and revival. Unless stated otherwise, nobody has them, though do use your own discretion.
- There may be SPOILERS from all of the shows/movies the characters are from.

Rules for Voting
- Bold your votes (using bold HTML tags).
- You do not need to require justification for your vote, though the admins reserve the right to disqualify votes in the advent of obvious alt voting and other similar scenarios.
- Leaders cannot vote for their own teams, but they are free to argue their case.
- If you want to switch your votes simply bold the change; there's no need to delete your post, though you may if you wish.
- This match will end in 24 hours.

John, Rick, Scott, Shrek, Natsuki and the Blair Witch will not resist any attack or attempt to dodge any move used by Hogan, and will try to make sure that Hogan hits them at least once to put him over.

John McClane is as he appears throughout the Die Hard series. He comes to battle armed with his Beretta 92, SIG-Sauer P220 semi-automatic pistols, and two machine guns. He will be in possession of a cellphone that won't stop loudly playing Jesus Lives For All The Children. The cellphone somehow can't be removed from their person or shut off.

Rick Grimes is as seen in The Walking Dead carrying his Colt Python and a knife.

Daryl Dixon is as seen in The Walking Dead with a knife, his crossbow and motorcycle.

Scott Pilgrim is as seen at the end of Scott Pilgrim vs. The World (movie and comics). He is armed with The Power of Self Respect and does not have his extra life. He will be performing the entirety of "We Are Sex Bob-Omb" at the start of battle, in a neutral position in the terrain.

Shrek is as he appears in the Shrek movie franchise, in his ogre form. As long as he is alive, "All Star" by Smash Mouth will blare loudly over the terrain. He will have all of the equipment and skills Ash Williams would normally have, at a level just barely competent enough for Shrek to succeed at surviving the Evil Dead series.
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Natsuki Subaru is as seen in Re:Zero, armed with all the (a.k.a. one) spells he learned and...uh...his tracksuit. He has experienced the match, respawned, and explained everything that happened in the fight to his teammates, although he'll be limited to what he saw, heard, and experienced.

The Blair Witch is as seen in Blair Witch. She is completely invincible to harm and directly looking at her is fatal, no matter a person's defense. The opposing team is aware of this. She does not need to be beaten to win the fight. She has "nWo" spray-painted on her face. She won't cooperate with the rest of her team, though she won't hurt them either.

~VS~

Ash Williams is a Hulkamaniac. He will do anything that Hogan asks him to, other personality traits be damned.

Hulk Hogan is as he appears in the WWF in the Hulkamania era. He has access to all of his WWE Immortals powers from his Beach Basher form, can freely no-sell attacks, and has access to all strength feats from Suburban Commando, No Holds Barred, and Santa With Muscles. Hogan will bring with him his Sumo Monster Truck into battle. He is considered to start in or out of it based on whatever is most advantageous. He may spawn wherever he likes.

Ash Williams is as seen in the Evil Dead series with his bionic hand as seen in Ash vs Evil Dead and his Boomstick. He may freely swap to his chainsaw hand when he wishes. He may spawn wherever he likes. He has a 20% parameter boost. He will be performing the entirety of "We Are Sex Bob-Omb" at the start of battle.

Pablo Bolivar is as seen in Ash vs Evil Dead armed with a handgun. He does not have Necronomicon powers.

Kelly Maxwell is as seen in Ash vs Evil Dead, unarmed.

Jon Snow is as seen in season 6 of Game of Thrones and the ASOIAF novels. He comes to battle armed with Longclaw and a standard buckler shield. He will be performing the entirety of "We Are Sex Bob-Omb" at the start of battle, in a neutral location in the terrain.

Ghost is as seen in season 6 of Game of Thrones and the ASOIAF novels. He has a 20% parameter boost.

Po is as seen throughout the Kung Fu Panda series, as the Dragon Warrior. He has access to all of his feats and abilities.

Stripe is as he appears in Gremlins post-Gremlin transformation. Bright light will not harm him. He may multiply if he reaches water and will do so if given the opportunity, although he can only do so once. He is accompanied by six generic Gremlins. He has access to all of Po's chi-based abilities. He may spawn wherever he likes. He and the Gremlins have a 20% parameter boost.

~VS~

Arataka Reigen is as he appears in Mob Psycho 100, after defeating Ishiguro. He has access to all of his techniques and a full bag of table salt, though he does not have any of Mob's powers. He is undead, beserk and loyal to no one. He will attack Shrek at the start of battle with his Justifiable Self-Defense Rush attack.
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@GANON1025 @DeathChicken

The floor is yours

Good luck, jesus christ
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Initial thinking is that teams never meet because Subaru tells his pals to stall and the Blair Witch kills everyone on Hogan's team

Someone convince me that this fucked up forest won't enable exactly that
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Jesus christ. Uh, so if various people have choice of starting location, I'm going to presume the Gremlins are going to choose to go spawn at the river (and probably get killed by those weird slug monsters that live on the river bed). Shrek and Reigen are gone before anyone meets. Hogan's monster truck is doing nothing in a forest. Natsuki has somehow already gone through this match once so he knows the outcome

Anyway none of that matters, Blair Witch hunts all of these goobers down by the loud music they're playing and horrifically kills them. I'm sure Hogan will go "Don't look at her dudes!" but their fighting prowess is hindered if they can't see
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What is this
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A terrible mistake
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KanzarisKelshen posted...

Initial thinking is that teams never meet because Subaru tells his pals to stall and the Blair Witch kills everyone on Hogan's team

Someone convince me that this fucked up forest won't enable exactly that

it's not impossible, but it's not like Blair Witch is going to go along with any sort of plan

Another thought:

Hulk Hogan will spawn wherever he wants, in a monster truck, and nobody except Daryl will attempt to dodge him
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DeathChicken posted...

A terrible mistake

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it's not impossible, but it's not like Blair Witch is going to go along with any sort of plan

Which is why I went for 'Blair Witch does Blair Witch things and kills everybody'. She's not the one who has to follow orders, it's Subaru and any of his other friends.
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I think driving a monster truck in a dense forest is a good way to kill yourself, although I've never personally tried
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DeathChicken posted...

Shrek and Reigen are gone before anyone meets.

Keep in mind, Shrek has Ash Williams' equipment and skill to meet the minimum requirements of surviving the Evil Dead series.

what that means is anyone's guess, really, but I think that at least makes him a step above fodder
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I appreciate the extensive vent system inside the forest
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blair witch SOLOs

like... easily.
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That all being said, I give a lot of respect to Ghost with a 20% parameter boost and Po with all chi powers unlocked
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I meant more Shrek used Time is Ogre, so both of them disappear at the conclusion of All Star
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Does Hogan actually know what the fuck is gonna be at whatever spawning point he chooses or is he going in blind BTW? Because if he doesn't then I think the ability doesn't do anything meaningful.
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Ordinarily I'd think it's one of those deals where Blair Witch should have familiarity with the terrain and have been able to inform her team about it...except I preemptively stole her so she's on my team instead. 'Whoops'
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John McClane

He'll find a way.
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Initial thoughts so far:
-Disappointed Liv Moore didn't get rostered, really wanted to see what respect she got

-Hulkamania's kind of broken as is. I think he shouldn't have WWE Immortals abilities (since this is tv/movie mercs) and that the success percentage of Hulkamania should be dropped (maybe like 25%?)

-Blair Witch might be too broken. Having a low-tier merc that's downright invincible is pretty harsh, even if she doesn't need to be killed. However, she's also kind of a trap, since she can only exist on her own terrain. I almost feel like she might be better as a Pure Support that gives the chance to turn the terrain into the Blair Woods and have her appear.
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Also McClane is dual wielding machineguns, that's just epic
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Hogan's team look stronger. Like, a lot stronger, even without Hohan obsoleting a lot of them just by existing. Subaru + Blair Witch is hard to look past though. Hogan's team needs to find the enemy team, who are going to be playing defense thanks to Subaru telling them "we'll have a strange compulsion to let thta big muscle guy run us over with a truck if we meet him".
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The big question is whether looking into the Blair Witch's Face can be obscured by the nWo tag.
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DeathChicken posted...

I meant more Shrek used Time is Ogre, so both of them disappear at the conclusion of All Star

oh whoops I didn't think about that

although actually I'm not sure what the ruling would be on that

hey Kanz

if a SoB is used on someone, and then they're KO'd, but then they're brought back to the match anyway (in this case, as a beserker zombie) does the SoB still go through?
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DeathChicken posted...

Also McClane is dual wielding machineguns, that's just epic

I laughed out loud at my computer when I rolled that he would steal a second machine gun
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So this is the kind of match where a ruling needs to be made 24 posts in, eh
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She's tricky. The people in the last movie were clever enough to try a Perseus mirror trick on her with their cellphones but she still got them to look
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Lopen posted...

The big question is whether looking into the Blair Witch's Face can be obscured by the nWo tag.

oh shit that's a good point actually

I'm gonna say yes?

also makes me want to see a version of the Blair Witch project where she's just stumbling through the woods bumping into shit because she can't see
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The Black Hills Forest is as seen in Blair Witch, a befuddling maze in which paths seem to loop around onto each other, time behaves strangely, there are deadly parasites in the water and daylight never breaks. Oddly enough, this is only how it will seem for the Witch's opposing team; her own team will see it as a fairly ordinary forest.

This is just weird. How do they even find each other then...?
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KamikazePotato posted...

So this is the kind of match where a ruling needs to be made 24 posts in, eh

to be fair, it's an exhibition match specifically designed to figure out what needs to be tweaked/fixed with the mercs and abilities
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I'm rolling with "Witch knows where she's going well enough to find Ash loudly singing Sex Bob-Omb". Also he's way too stupid not to look at her even if he knows better
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Also Subaru is garbage at actual fighting, but the one spell he knows might be kind of useful here. It creates a shroud of darkness in the immediate vicinity, and if his team is playing sneaky defense that's pretty nice.

Not that that would help if 90% of his team (including himself) is doing their best to run into Hulk's fist.
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Alright so add in

Once "All Star" has finished playing once, both Shrek and Reigen disappear if still alive
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Therein lies the rub that Subaru knows how this fight is going to go if everyone goes charging at Hogan, so it's better if his girlfriend just runs at him, eats the inevitable "YOU!" finger point, no-sells the big boot and kills him
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if a SoB is used on someone, and then they're KO'd, but then they're brought back to the match anyway (in this case, as a beserker zombie) does the SoB still go through?

The SoB goes through, assuming the revival doesn't happen with post-SoB timing, I think.
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DeathChicken posted...

I'm rolling with "Witch knows where she's going well enough to find Ash loudly singing Sex Bob-Omb". Also he's way too stupid not to look at her even if he knows better

I was picturing Jon singing and Ash attempting to somehow drum with a chainsaw arm- I don't know how that would work, but it's a fun visual!
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Uh, shouldn't Shrek be making Hogan go away with Ogre then at the conclusion of the song, not Reigen?
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So gonna try and break this down step by step.

-Stripe spawns at the river to try to multiply, but all the gremlins die to parasites. Stripe maybe survives with chi powers and parameter boost
-Hulk spawns behind the enemy team
-Ash and Jon Snow dead to Blair Witch.
-Ghost absolutely attacks Blair Witch when she kills Jon Snow, so I guess she kills Ghost too
-Rick, Scott and Natsuki potentially die to Hulk Hogan, because Natsuki's warning won't do much against the supernatural desire to be hurt by him
-McClane ducks into the vent system, and plays the cell phone super loud underground (I assume the vents HAVE to be underground because where else would they be

so that leaves

McClane
Daryl
Blair Witch
v.
Hulk
Pablo
Po
maybe Stripe

Blair Witch is going to try and get hit by Hulk, which might actually work against Hulk since he's definitely going to end up looking right at her when he does so

Daryl kills Pablo easily. Stripe ends up dead one way or another

so that leaves

loud McClane
Daryl
Witch
v.
Po

now Po's really strong, and I think with his dragon powers Witch couldn't even get a good look at him

but dual-wielding McClane probably takes him down

Two machine guns
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DeathChicken posted...

Uh, shouldn't Shrek be making Hogan go away with Ogre then at the conclusion of the song, not Reigen?

No, Reigen's re-direct happened in pre-battle, so it targets him
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I don't see a supernatural desire to get hit by Hulk btw

It's more like 'if a fight breaks out imma let hulk hit me at least once so he can get over', more than 'I'm going to actively disregard winning moves so Hulk can win'. It's not a taunt.

So anyway, The Blair Witch wins. Don't see serious arguments against her.
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In this case I think Hulk's hubris might get the best of him, since he knows going in that looking at the Blair Witch is fatal, but he also knows he's Hulk and can no-sell everything with a finger wag

"I know your death gaze finish is over, brother, but I'm not feeling laying down for it tonight. Gonna no-sell, Hulk Up and drop the leg. Put you over big down the road, brah!"
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I actually completely agree with that

I also think that without McClane and his machine guns, Po probably outlives the enemy team without getting killed by Blair Witch
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I think honestly Stripe getting to spawn at a water source with Chi powers would be incredibly nasty...if that water wasn't home to a bunch of evil flesh burrowing parasites
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I clicked this topic hoping that "Rick, Scott" meant somebody made a Steiner Brothers build

so now I am obligated to make that a reality I guess
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Ash solos
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You know, I don't know if Hogan and the Gremlins can properly cooperate

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=esR019e-uMQ
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oh my god I forgot about that

what the fuck even was that movie
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The Blair Witch and Hulk's team have been teammates for so long, through thick and thin, I think that their team have seen the Witch's tricks and know what to expect here.
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oh shit

Hulk Hogan has a 50% parameter boost

I'm not very good at being an admin

yet
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I feel like this would make him even more likely to pick a fight with the big stinky Blair Witch, dude
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