Current Events > Light Novel/Web Novel General v.2 "I've reincarnated into a v2 topic!"

(+) Yeah! (+)

Hmm, looks like Violet Evergarden is getting a side story novel. And here I am, still haven't been able to get my hands on the main series. It's one of the few LNs that I've read without buying in one way or another.
https://twitter.com/kyoani/status/974557817859289089

Also, I got Cross Road Ch.2 Part 1 here:
http://barnnn.blogspot.com/2018/03/cross-road-in-their-cases-chapter-2.html

legendarylemur posted...

Might start up MH4U again because a friend is somewhat interested.

I got this the other week for $8.99 when Capcom was having that sale. I failed my first mission yesterday against HR Monoblos <_<
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I used Charge Blade, which inherently does well against the -blos, so I never failed a mission against them I think. But once I was neglecting upgrading my shit, so I timed out against a Khezu of all things. That mission as a whole was so fucking frustrating that I avoided every Khezu related mission that wasn't absolutely necessary.

Luckily none of my friends were trying for a Khezu weapon or armor so I never had the need
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I guess not too much time left for ye olde LN General. But it felt like I've been doing just about the same thing I've always had in this general in the Anime etc general anyways, just with a bit more people to talk to, which is nice.
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When I was a child, I had a vivid dream. I understood the significance of a wedding ring, that in the midst of a poor household, an expensive ring was an extravagance. I never knew how poor the family was until much later, but as a precocious child, I did have some idea. At least, I knew that something like a ring was extremely valued. In the dream, I hold the ring and I play with it, tossing it about and treating it with no respect. I drop the ring, and it rolls into the sewer, never to be seen again.

Despite being a dream where I am but a spectator, I still distinctly remember that painful sense of guilt. My mouth refuses to open for an apology, and my mother merely smiles like nothing is wrong and forgives. I'm sorry, as if I'm saying in my own thoughts as a spectator, but my dream self just goes off without a care in the world. Where did the ring go? How much was that ring? There's no way I can replace it. Why aren't you more mad at me, mom?

I woke up feeling guilty and sad with tears in my eyes that won't stop. I hadn't even done anything wrong in reality, nor did an actual event like this even occur, but that painful guilt somehow stuck with me even until now. Even when it didn't happen.

I had a dog, who is with my sister now with not much time left to live. She's 14 by now I think. I treated her with all the love in the world, cleaning after her, feeding her, brushing her, but she found it all so bothersome. I made sure not to feed her human food because I heard it was bad for her. Ultimately, my dog hated me and only loved my sister and my dad who kept sneaking her some of their food. My sister didn't do anything of value to take care of her, and my dad was away the all the time, but my dog wouldn't ever jump up and down for me when I came back from school like she would for them.

A boy going through puberty and growth, I've come to hate my dog. I punished her too harshly when she would poo or pee in the wrong place. Because it was me who had to clean all that shit up because nobody else would. Well if not me, then my mom would have to, and I couldn't have that. I had my things to deal with, why do I have to do this stuff for a dog that doesn't even love me?

She feared me. It was a vicious cycle of hatred where there was no reason for either of us to actually care about each other.

I had a similar vivid dream one day, where I was once again a spectator. Here, my dog loves me no matter what. She's constantly fawning over me and licking me. But I hit her. I abuse her again and again until her legs do not work. I feel fear, only towards myself who I deemed disgusting and vicious. But no matter how much I abused her, she kept crawling towards me, still fawning and licking as if she hadn't been hurt, even tho it felt like she could die at any moment. I felt so much fear and hatred for myself that I woke up.

Once again I had unending tear in my eyes and hatred for myself for something I hadn't done in reality. I went to my dog and hugged her, decided to stop my punishment every time she would do something dumb. Then our relation improved, especially as with age, it felt like she realized the kind of care required for her. It felt as though I could communicate with my dog just with a look and gesture to each other's eyes. And the cycle of hatred broke

But I fear sleeping. I hate the side of me that doesn't exist in reality, an unrelenting criminal with no guilt. Wondering that if I let loose, I may one day become that person. The thought, please don't be that person, please don't do bad things constantly run through my head, flashes of anything bad I've ever done from dumb pranks to hurting other's feelings or hurting my dog refuse to cease in my head, worrying that if they ever stop, maybe my dreams become a reality.
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I feel like I'm too stubborn for my own good. When I went through a lot of hellish and lonely time, I learned a lot from it. I guess in order to not cheapen that experience, I've developed a pretty heavy trust in that experience and the lessons I took away from them. This resulted in me having a really hard head even on things that I tried to tell myself that it wasn't wise to take such a stubborn approach.

I've subsequently surrounded myself with equally stubborn people, but that results in many clashes and discussions that end in arguments that has no end or usefulness. It probably cost me a lot of friendship, or were they doomed from the start?

Anyways, the point of my dream post one post ago is that sometimes people with depression find the source of their depression from something that doesn't even exist. For me, it's my paranoia to always try to be good, and then crashing and falling when something bad does happen, which it did frequently, and I took it hard every time, blaming myself because of my dreams and my worries.

It's hard to maintain good bonds with people when I feel as though I've been broken by my worries and my scars. In life, it's better for a person to simply go through life having run to as little trouble as possible. It's just a zero sum game, where the point is to just minimize your losses as much as you can. Because through my experiences and the scars that affect my relations with others, I've always found myself preferring to just be blissful and naive rather than sad but understanding why I am sad
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Ducks can fly, swim, and walk. Humans are objectively inferior to ducks
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Recently I've come to learn the value in firmly cutting ties with prominent poisonous people in my life. The lonelier I was and more frequently I was burned, the harder I tried to fish for more like minded people, and by the end of it all, I suddenly had a lot more people I can talk to on a deeper level than people of my previous friendship. I felt happy amongst these new bonds made, which in turn gave me courage to seek out and identify others that will offer me better stability.

Aside from friendship, family is another thing. Poisonous people in your family is a tumor to poisonous people amongst your friends which is a rash at best. Sometimes there is no choice to live with them, but sometimes you just have to surgically remove them. As much as I once thought it was difficult to change people, people change, or at least their inner skins reveal them to be something you never realized what they were. Sometimes it's to the point of being unrecognizable. I've learned to treat them as the dead. Oh, I guess while I was away, he died and was replaced by somebody I don't know. The person I knew was dead, so I mourned their loss and decided to live on in their memory, rather than for the person that still existed
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I wonder when that Konosuba VN is getting localized. I need it NAO!
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