LogFAQs > #898134669

I feel like I'm too stubborn for my own good. When I went through a lot of hellish and lonely time, I learned a lot from it. I guess in order to not cheapen that experience, I've developed a pretty heavy trust in that experience and the lessons I took away from them. This resulted in me having a really hard head even on things that I tried to tell myself that it wasn't wise to take such a stubborn approach.

I've subsequently surrounded myself with equally stubborn people, but that results in many clashes and discussions that end in arguments that has no end or usefulness. It probably cost me a lot of friendship, or were they doomed from the start?

Anyways, the point of my dream post one post ago is that sometimes people with depression find the source of their depression from something that doesn't even exist. For me, it's my paranoia to always try to be good, and then crashing and falling when something bad does happen, which it did frequently, and I took it hard every time, blaming myself because of my dreams and my worries.

It's hard to maintain good bonds with people when I feel as though I've been broken by my worries and my scars. In life, it's better for a person to simply go through life having run to as little trouble as possible. It's just a zero sum game, where the point is to just minimize your losses as much as you can. Because through my experiences and the scars that affect my relations with others, I've always found myself preferring to just be blissful and naive rather than sad but understanding why I am sad
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