Lurker > DontHateMe

MACisBack posted...

Sometimes you have to close your eyes, muster all your courage, and nervously take that step forward into a whole new world and mind state.

For example to start your path forward:

You constantly want to smoke or whatever it was you did. So instead of constantly doing that every hour. Try going without it until you feel you really need it then the next time push ever farther so instead of one hour, make it 3 hours until you can go without it.

Keep pushing your other goals to, such as biking or switch it up to body weight exercise to try something new for a new day. Or keep your eye out and try different things around you, if you can to change the setting of your life.

I agree, I feel like I need change. The good news is I have an interview tomorrow at 2:30. I can make that because it doesn't require me to wake up early. The bad news is that I'm probably gonna smoke with my gf when she comes home. I smoke maybe 3-4 blunts a day with my gf. Like I said, it helps me in the sense that I don't care what I'm doing. For example, about 2 years ago I hated/forced myself to the gym, but when I smoked I didn't even care to go. I didn't feel like it was "work" or a chore. Same with biking, although I could bike easily without having to smoke...smoking makes me want to go further than my original plans cuz I don't care, lol. I know it sounds odd and contradictory, but it does motivate me a bit. I'll even treat it like a treat at times. Bike 20 or so miles and I get to come home to smoke.

I actually have incorporated body weight exercise due to my lack of weights. It's the same thing, when I'm sober I see it as a chore, but when I'm high...I'll work out because fuck it, I'm high, I feel relaxed, etc. Even with all this, I understand I do have to stop eventually because it DOES cost money.

My number 1 goal is to get this job, make enough money to buy a laptop and just dedicate myself to music. I KNOW I have the skills, I'm pretty cocky/confident when it comes to that. I love music, I get inspired by all types. I used to recreate beats a while back so I can see for myself how it got to that point, what was added, what effects, etc. I'm a strong believer when it comes to myself. I know I'm not stupid. I remember failing in high school, my father had a talk with me and I decided to actually try and got all A's. Unfortunately I only tried for that one semester because I proved to myself I was capable, but I just didn't like school. Random, but one day I decided to learn to juggle and I learned! I feel like anything I do I can be good at, it's just the mindset nullifying all of that. I'm hoping tomorrow goes well and there can be a new start for me.
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Tag. This interests me.
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MACisBack posted...

There has been some great advice in here already only thing I can add is...

Keep at it and things will start to fall into place.

I agree, there's been great advice. Getting started is the hardest part, I'm not sure how to begin to get rid of the mindset that I've been having. Everything will fall into place after I'm started, I believe that. But how do I get started? It starts with my mindset, but how the fuck can I remove the negativity in my mind? That's what's keeping me here! Once I'm out, yes...it'll all work out eventually. I don't even know how to get out though.
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Romulox28 posted...

tbh a lot of your complaints sound like they're above CE's paygrade. might help to seek professional help.

from my limited experience, here are the steps I'd take to rebuild my life:

1. Stop smoking marijuana. I know it's not some nightmare death drug but it is deceptively more dangerous than people think. For many, marijuana is an ambition killer and a crutch. Flush it, give it away, whatever, just get it out of your life. It's not doing you any benefits, even if you think it is.

2. Get into a routine. No sleeping till whenever, eating whenever, staying up super late, etc. You're going to get up at the same time every day, go to bed at the same time every day, eat meals at the same time, etc. You need this discipline to get thing back into order.

3. Start exercising - jogging, lifting weights, whatever, just get in some exercise as much as possible. Watch what you eat as well.

4. Take pride in your appearance - make sure you're showering daily, brushing your teeth, get a haircut, get dressed in presentable clothes daily, etc

5. Make a list of things you want to do. This could be anything, from "get a job" to "get new shoes" to "fix my car." Make a list of everything, then sort it by what you think is doable. Start doing these things, first the easy ones, until you're left with the hard ones. Then, for the hard ones, start lining up the steps you need to take to accomplish them ("ok, i want to get a job. what do I need? i need to find the kind of job i want, get a resume and cover letter, apply, get a suit, research the company or role, etc"). Then just start doing them.

honestly the key is to get a sense of routine and discipline back in your life and then just start taking baby steps towards what you want. there's no other way to do it, no magic cure

I agree with giving up marijuana. It's hard because I've become too dependent on it. I can't sleep or won't sleep if I don't have any because that's normally what use to help me fall asleep. When I run out, I just wanna lay in bed all day and do nothing. Believe it or not, marijuana actually helps me be more productive because I don't give a shit what I'm doing when I'm high. I like..deep cleaned my basement, love biking when high and overall feel like I'm a better person. I've smoked so much throughout the years that I don't act "high" or silly or anything like that. I function like a normal human being. I agree I must get rid of it, but it's going to be extremely hard.

I feel routine would help, but that'll be hard as well. I would love to be asleep by 11-12, but when I try that I'm up until 5-6am. My schedule now is waking up at 12-1pm and sleeping at 4-5am. If I give up marijuana, I might need sleeping pills or something.

I actually exercise so I'm not straight up rotting away. I love biking. I enjoy going very far and not knowing where I'm going. I wish I could do it as often as I'd like.

I feel like I definitely take pride in my appearance. You might have the wrong image of me. I shower and brush my teeth daily and all. I try to look nice with the little clothes I have.

Number 1 priority is to get a job. If I get a job, I get money, I'm able to buy a laptop and work on my music. I know I'm not special, but the job has to cater to me basically, at least the hours. I can't wake up mornings without feeling like shit or regretting life. My availability would be something like 3pm-4am or something overnight. I feel routine/discipline could help me out, getting started is the hard part.
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ShotOJameson posted...

DontHateMe posted...

ShotOJameson posted...

DontHateMe posted...

ShotOJameson posted...

Make plans to do something, and then FOLLOW THROUGH with it. It sounds like you're going through a shitty time right now but remember life does not stop you have to remain somewhat active. It will help you from dwelling on whatever problems you're having. You just gotta keep plowing forward my man. You got this.

It's really hard. About a year ago it would be no problem, but now it's the hardest thing ever. IM the problem man. Some switch went off in my mind that has me fucked up. At this very moment I'm looking at my gf sleeping next to me and it pisses me off she has to wake up in the morning tomorrow to work and I'm just here. Man, I need to let some anger out sometimes, but the only way I know how is by hitting something...just letting it out and when there's nothing I'll just punch my face. I know that sounds crazy, but it's just a punch or two to let that shit out. Nothing serious.

Another thing that has me fucked up is I can't get up in the mornings. I feel nauseous and have the biggest feeling of regret when I do. Being that way has lead me to search for evening or overnight work.

are you seeing a therapist? If not do that.

I don't want to worry anyone. I can carry the burden. I'm aware my actions aren't normal, I'm aware of my problems, etc. I don't want to worry my parents, family, gf having them think something is seriously wrong with me. I'll never in my life commit suicide or serious self harm. I feel like I have too much pride to talk to a therapist. I wouldn't even know how it works, I'm broke, no insurance, etc.

I just think you might have some kind of chemical imbalance if you're getting irrationally angry all the time and have to hit yourself to calm yourself down. It might be good for you, what do you got to lose at this point?

Is it irrationally? I feel the reasons I get angry are justified. I see people that I love struggling often and knowing my position pisses me off because I know what I must do, I just can't. I was never like this last year, I just need that one thing to force me in the right direction and I'll handle it from there. As for hitting myself, I feel like everything is my fault so I just hit myself once in a while when I dwell too deep in my thoughts and it gets to me. They're actually not hard punches, nothing hard enough to leave a bruise/bleeding. Just need to shake myself up once in a while.
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SF_Okami posted...

I cant really relate because I never lacked confidence and never really at any point hated myself Except for some fucking stupid embarrassing moments I am sure we all had >.>

But I know alot of people who do have similar problems so I am used to seeing it. If you are looking for somewhere to start, you need to find a hobby or job that you are really (REALLY) passionate about. If you can wake up and be happy about going to do 1 thing in the day, that really makes a difference in your entire day. If you go the gym and box every day, you will get good, and you will get more confidence which absolutely carries over into other things in your day.

Oh and listen to really upbeat music, here is a track I always recommend to people :)

It's weird for me. I have random moments where my confident shoots through the roof whenever I think of the future. I do have a hobby/passion, it's music. Nothing instrumental, but I make music using certain programs on my laptop. At least I did. I haven't had a laptop for over a year. Deep down I know down the road I'll be making a living with music. My dream is to produce music as my job. I remember I used to literally spend all day on it. That's my passion.
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MabusIncarnate posted...

Serious question, what is your diet like? Even if you are fit, poor nutrition can make you feel lazy, sluggish, and unmotivated to do anything.

I'm not going to preach about changing how you eat to better yourself, but there are things you can add to what you eat that are a bit better for your body, make you feel more motivated, and may help pull you out of your rut.

Not going to get too deep into myself, I don't like doing that, but to keep it brief, growing up as a teen, I was a fat loser, depressed, and suffered from extreme social anxiety. I literally pissed myself during a verbal presentation in 9th grade in front of class. I felt like a useless shell of a person that would amount to nothing.

I was afraid of people, was shy, replied with one word while I stared at the ground. I knew I needed to change myself and my life before the remainder of my existence was just miserable and alone.

Without even considering it for a day, two days after high school graduation, I joined the Army. They nearly didn't accept me, and this was right after 9/11 and were desperate for enlistees. I forced myself into a challenging, social scenario in an effort to make a fast drastic change. It worked, not only did I leave out of boot camp being able to look people dead in the eye, standing tall, with a firm handshake and confidence, but I was overall more healthy, my body was fit, and started attracting the opposite sex. I didn't need pills, or therapy, I needed to shock my lifestyle and put myself in a very difficult process that I conquered.

I was changed forever. I'm not saying go so drastic and join the military, but put yourself in an uncomfortable, challenging scenario and push yourself to the limit. Don't just exist and melt away. Start to change today, and don't look back. You may be surprised at what's buried deep within yourself.

I've been eating twice a day for a while. When I was vacated, the only way allowed for me to return is if the stove and kitchen sink were removed. I only have a fridge and microwave now, so I assume you know what types of food I've been eating. I actually was going through a very dark time when all this came at me and wanted to join the military for the wrong reasons. I just wanted to be sent off to a place where I could die. As I said in a previous post, I'll never commit suicide or cause serious harm to myself, but I don't exactly have the will to live either. I respect what you've gone through and glad you were able to pull through.

I was similar in high school. I was a loner. I had people I said hi to in the halls, but they weren't friends. I had way more problems at that age with social anxiety, couldn't look people in the eye, my older brother told me to tell anyone that ask if we're related, that we're not. My high school years weren't fun, I couldn't deal with it so I dropped out in 11th grade.
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Squidkids posted...

DontHateMe posted...

SomeLikeItHoth posted...

Start going to the gym
Learn to box

It's very funny you say that. I'm pretty fit and I love the sport of boxing. I truly believe in my heart if my father got me into boxing when I was younger, I would've been something. I'm 27 now, so I'd do it as a hobby. That's another thing that bothers me. I know my dedication. I know how hard I'm willing to work to get it all, but it's too late.

If that is the case.. :

No, I'm applying all that hard work and dedication to something else.
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ShotOJameson posted...

DontHateMe posted...

ShotOJameson posted...

Make plans to do something, and then FOLLOW THROUGH with it. It sounds like you're going through a shitty time right now but remember life does not stop you have to remain somewhat active. It will help you from dwelling on whatever problems you're having. You just gotta keep plowing forward my man. You got this.

It's really hard. About a year ago it would be no problem, but now it's the hardest thing ever. IM the problem man. Some switch went off in my mind that has me fucked up. At this very moment I'm looking at my gf sleeping next to me and it pisses me off she has to wake up in the morning tomorrow to work and I'm just here. Man, I need to let some anger out sometimes, but the only way I know how is by hitting something...just letting it out and when there's nothing I'll just punch my face. I know that sounds crazy, but it's just a punch or two to let that shit out. Nothing serious.

Another thing that has me fucked up is I can't get up in the mornings. I feel nauseous and have the biggest feeling of regret when I do. Being that way has lead me to search for evening or overnight work.

are you seeing a therapist? If not do that.

I don't want to worry anyone. I can carry the burden. I'm aware my actions aren't normal, I'm aware of my problems, etc. I don't want to worry my parents, family, gf having them think something is seriously wrong with me. I'll never in my life commit suicide or serious self harm. I feel like I have too much pride to talk to a therapist. I wouldn't even know how it works, I'm broke, no insurance, etc.
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ShotOJameson posted...

Make plans to do something, and then FOLLOW THROUGH with it. It sounds like you're going through a shitty time right now but remember life does not stop you have to remain somewhat active. It will help you from dwelling on whatever problems you're having. You just gotta keep plowing forward my man. You got this.

It's really hard. About a year ago it would be no problem, but now it's the hardest thing ever. IM the problem man. Some switch went off in my mind that has me fucked up. At this very moment I'm looking at my gf sleeping next to me and it pisses me off she has to wake up in the morning tomorrow to work and I'm just here. Man, I need to let some anger out sometimes, but the only way I know how is by hitting something...just letting it out and when there's nothing I'll just punch my face. I know that sounds crazy, but it's just a punch or two to let that shit out. Nothing serious.

Another thing that has me fucked up is I can't get up in the mornings. I feel nauseous and have the biggest feeling of regret when I do. Being that way has lead me to search for evening or overnight work.
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MorbidFaithless posted...

Getting a job got me out of my funk. That's the first step.

It's hard for me. Before I was vacated, I was working and it wasn't too bad. I've been unemployed for over a year. I've had dozens of interviews, but barely went to any. I know I'm not in the right state of mind. My thinking is off and I can admit that, but something's up. I KNOW I need a job, but when I set up an interview, I don't go. I keep applying, I keep getting callbacks, but I don't do shit.

I wish I knew so bad what has me in this...idk what to even call it..this mood. I need to get out of it, but I can't. It's affecting my life because I'm not doing shit. I want to provide, I want to save money, I want to do good for myself, but I just can't.
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SomeLikeItHoth posted...

Start going to the gym
Learn to box

It's very funny you say that. I'm pretty fit and I love the sport of boxing. I truly believe in my heart if my father got me into boxing when I was younger, I would've been something. I'm 27 now, so I'd do it as a hobby. That's another thing that bothers me. I know my dedication. I know how hard I'm willing to work to get it all, but it's too late.
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I'm not sure where to even begin. I'm starting to develop feelings of hate towards myself. I'm not productive, I'm a loser, I don't do shit, I hate what I'm becoming. I've been in and out of work, I smoke marijuana daily, to the point where I've become dependent on it, I'm broke, I don't hang around with friends anymore, I don't even like to go outside anymore.

I hate myself even more knowing loved ones are working and I'm not helping. I hate myself for not being able to help my family with financial issues. I'm just rotting away in this shitty basement I live in (which I had to vacate because it was deemed unsafe to live there).

I can continue on with things that have happened to me recently and why I grow hatred towards myself a little more every day, but I can go on and on. I don't know what to do. It seems like I have an excuse for everything. I just need that something to get me started. That one thing to motivate me to completely change my attitude/current way of living. Can't do shit right man...

I wish I could share so much more with what's going through my mind, but it'll just be way too long. I've never felt so down in my life.
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Not lit
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I don't have any desire to get up in the mornings. This has cost me a job and several interviews I've had, but didn't bother showing up. I feel nauseous every time I wake up early, my legs feel as if I rode a bike for a few hours and overall I feel weak. I know some may say to suck it up, but I really can't =\.

The nausea isn't there if I wake up at a later time and mentally prepare myself to get up. Does anyone else have a similar problem? If so, how do you deal with it?
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Haldol posted...

DontHateMe posted...

Haldol posted...

DontHateMe posted...

Haldol posted...

Just because you've been with someone for years doesn't obligate you to hold on to anything. Unless you truly love and care about her, the time is meaningless

I have a girl I've been fucking for 5 years. I wouldn't hesitate to drop her at all if I needed to. You wasting 7 years of time just means that you shouldn't waste anymore unless you truly want to be with this woman. Just having a place to live isn't a good enough reason.

This is going to sound stupid, but I don't know what "love" is I guess. When it comes to these types of problems I question myself...do I REALLY need to be dealing with this? I feel myself caring less and less. When we're on good terms I think positive thoughts like she does a lot for me, she's been on my side this long, etc.

That sounds more like convenience to me than love.

Love is complicated, but in general it means that you care about someone so much that you commit to yourself to building a strong relationship with them. You are happy with them. Love is an action as well as a feeling. Even in tough times you still love that person.

To me, it sounds like all you care about with this woman is that she pays your bills gives you a roof over your head. You are simply using your 7 years together as an excuse to stay

She hasn't been paying bills or supplies a roof over my head. We've been splitting it since as long as I can remember. She WANTS to pay my bills and rent while I stay at home. Or rather she prefers doing that then me working at the job.

So where are you getting money from if she doesn't want you to get a job?

Also. Why is moving out not an option of you have money?

Why does she want you to stay home? Do you have kids?

All those questions were answered.

I have a part time job. This job gives more hours and money. Why would I not want to upgrade?

Moving out IS an option. The only place as of now would be my parents, but I wanted to avoid that.

She doesn't want me to stay home exactly. She just doesn't want me taking this specific job because of her issues. No kids.
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I KNOW rap is great. How do I know? Because I said so.
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Where is this at?
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Banjo2553 posted...

KLouD_KoNNeCteD posted...

Banjo2553 posted...

KLouD_KoNNeCteD posted...

I figured she didn't exist, oh well.

Dude, lay off. Your attempts at being an internet warrior are coming off as pretty sad. Who cares if TC made some other topic that you couldn't even provide proof he made? Except for you, obviously.

You must be DontHateMe's main account lol.

Making assumptions about other people on top of that, nice. How's the weather up there on your high horse?

Exactly, lol. I haven't been here too long and haven't really made topics elsewhere. He likes creating assumptions and fits in his perfect little world.

Anyway, I went to the interview today and they loved me.
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Haldol posted...

DontHateMe posted...

Haldol posted...

Just because you've been with someone for years doesn't obligate you to hold on to anything. Unless you truly love and care about her, the time is meaningless

I have a girl I've been fucking for 5 years. I wouldn't hesitate to drop her at all if I needed to. You wasting 7 years of time just means that you shouldn't waste anymore unless you truly want to be with this woman. Just having a place to live isn't a good enough reason.

This is going to sound stupid, but I don't know what "love" is I guess. When it comes to these types of problems I question myself...do I REALLY need to be dealing with this? I feel myself caring less and less. When we're on good terms I think positive thoughts like she does a lot for me, she's been on my side this long, etc.

That sounds more like convenience to me than love.

Love is complicated, but in general it means that you care about someone so much that you commit to yourself to building a strong relationship with them. You are happy with them. Love is an action as well as a feeling. Even in tough times you still love that person.

To me, it sounds like all you care about with this woman is that she pays your bills gives you a roof over your head. You are simply using your 7 years together as an excuse to stay

She hasn't been paying bills or supplies a roof over my head. We've been splitting it since as long as I can remember. She WANTS to pay my bills and rent while I stay at home. Or rather she prefers doing that then me working at the job.
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Don't hate. I don't even know you.
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KLouD_KoNNeCteD posted...

Got any pics of this "girl" I'm starting to suspect she doesn't exist.

No, you're starting to sound like a creep now. I didn't realize this board had people such as yourself. What's the general age on this board? The immaturity kills me.
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Asherlee10 posted...

This is kind of a weird question, but has she ever openly been homophobic?

Not that I know of.
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KLouD_KoNNeCteD posted...

Yeah she seems to be into cucks anyway.

Oh wow, so you actually ARE fat? I was joking at first, but I had you admit it. It's funny how words work. I now have an idea of your appearance without even asking. As I stated in this topic though, I'm an honest guy and didn't mean any offense or harm, so I apologize.
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KLouD_KoNNeCteD posted...

If she leaves you send her my way.

She's not into fat guys, no offense.
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Squall28 posted...

KLouD_KoNNeCteD posted...

You're too submissive, you're not a cuck are you??

I wasn't a spoiled brat that didn't see threats not carried out. It's easy to act big when everyone around you is a wuss. Try acting big when someone can and will whoop your ass. See how that turns out for you.

He posted a picture of himself in a post your pic topic and is literally a neck beard. Think for a second and create an image of how a member of CE looks like. You just created him.
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DarthDemented posted...

You either man up and tell her that interaction with other women is going to happen whether she likes it or not whether it be on the job or even talking to a cashier. She can either get over it or she can fuck off. If you're not willing to do that hand in your testicles at the front desk we'll call you if we need you.

Oh, I'll definitely be getting the job. No way I'm giving up this opportunity due to her immaturity. I guess I'll follow up based on her "if you work there, I won't be ok with it". If she slowly accepts it, great! If not, I don't want to be dealing with her negativity, it'll bring me down knowing I'm doing good for myself.
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Itennu posted...

her lack of trust must be tiresome op...

This is EXACTLY how I feel. It really bothers me. I have nothing to hide, don't even have a passcode on my phone. The lack of trust is taking its toll on me.
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Haldol posted...

DontHateMe posted...

Haldol posted...

DontHateMe posted...

Haldol posted...

Look

Broke or not, you shouldn't let anyone dominate you like that. You're a man. You should act like one and get your stuff together. You should be running things, not bowing down to your woman.

Women don't respect that shit, no matter what sjws, white Knights, and feminists will tell you. Women like a man in control.

The dominance, manipulation, and disrespect will only get worse. One day you'll be posting on here about how she's beating you. Either man up and check her, or leave

After the FB thing, she hasn't gotten her way...which is probably why I even made this topic. She's not getting her way now. I'm going to the interview tomorrow actually. I guess I needed justification like...there's no way I'm wrong right? This isn't all in my head? She's being crazy right?

Good. Handle your business. You are not a child and should not let her treat you like one

But like I said. You are gonna have to check her.

Is she even hot to be going through all this?

When I think of the word hot I think of big breast, fat ass, the whole works. I would say she's definitely cute. The only problem is the jealousy. That's it. I could either continue being with her and enjoying her company, her love and support while dealing with her issues or I could abandon all of that and live with my parents until my next chapter arrives.

When I say hot I mean attractive.

Because that would be a load of stress to deal with for a landwhale or an uggo

Lol, then yes. Definitely attractive. Opposite of a landwhale.
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Haldol posted...

Just because you've been with someone for years doesn't obligate you to hold on to anything. Unless you truly love and care about her, the time is meaningless

I have a girl I've been fucking for 5 years. I wouldn't hesitate to drop her at all if I needed to. You wasting 7 years of time just means that you shouldn't waste anymore unless you truly want to be with this woman. Just having a place to live isn't a good enough reason.

This is going to sound stupid, but I don't know what "love" is I guess. When it comes to these types of problems I question myself...do I REALLY need to be dealing with this? I feel myself caring less and less. When we're on good terms I think positive thoughts like she does a lot for me, she's been on my side this long, etc.
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thelovefist posted...

This happened

Is something like this so hard for you to believe? You must think these situations only happen in your head, but the reality of it is people are experiencing these things. You must think having sex is a myth. Same goes to the cloud guy.
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Haldol posted...

DontHateMe posted...

Haldol posted...

Look

Broke or not, you shouldn't let anyone dominate you like that. You're a man. You should act like one and get your stuff together. You should be running things, not bowing down to your woman.

Women don't respect that shit, no matter what sjws, white Knights, and feminists will tell you. Women like a man in control.

The dominance, manipulation, and disrespect will only get worse. One day you'll be posting on here about how she's beating you. Either man up and check her, or leave

After the FB thing, she hasn't gotten her way...which is probably why I even made this topic. She's not getting her way now. I'm going to the interview tomorrow actually. I guess I needed justification like...there's no way I'm wrong right? This isn't all in my head? She's being crazy right?

Good. Handle your business. You are not a child and should not let her treat you like one

But like I said. You are gonna have to check her.

Is she even hot to be going through all this?

When I think of the word hot I think of big breast, fat ass, the whole works. I would say she's definitely cute. The only problem is the jealousy. That's it. I could either continue being with her and enjoying her company, her love and support while dealing with her issues or I could abandon all of that and live with my parents until my next chapter arrives.
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Mister_Spyker posted...

DontHateMe posted...

Offworlder1 posted...

She has some serious jealousy issues, and if they have been an on going issue in the relationship you need work these out ASAP cause they are no little thing. Go to a relationship consoler cause she is only going to get worse, the job is a perfect example.

It has been like blocking girls from Facebook or the situation occurring. It might be dumb of me to say, but I'm not letting some man/woman in on our relationship. She's the one with these problems, shouldn't she go to therapy? And if it even gets that far where she needs therapy to deal with her jealousy issues, I won't wanna deal with it.

Is this a relationship? Like, what the hell, man? You're supposed to be together, especially in things like these. There is no longer my problems and her problems, they're all your (plural) problems when you're with someone, and if you don't commit to that attitude and mindset, then you can forget about ever having a healthy relationship. If this issue affects the two of you, then you need to go to a counselor, because from the looks of it, you have a ton of issues that you need to work out. If not a counselor, then you guys need to take some time to sit down with each other and have an honest chat, otherwise this will end badly. Sitting on these type of problems won't make them go away, so be a man and face this, or turn tail and run from this if you don't love this woman, because you're doing her a massive disservice if you keep up this half-hearted approach to your relationship. You're either in or out, love is a decision that you have to make, not just a feeling when everything is ok.
7+ years is something to hold onto, don't just give up because it's hard, do the right thing and BE HUMBLE! Don't you dare shift the blame to her for this stuff, in a relationship you're both responsible for everything.

I completely understand your point. I agree this is an "US" problem. She's just not willling to compromise. Being together for 7 years is exactly why I haven't bailed out yet. We built this relationship and she's not a bad person. It's this whole jealousy problem that she has. When we tried talking, she doesn't bring up valid points. Just the "If you work there, I won't be ok with it". That angers me because I've been in situations where I could've easily cheated without her knowing, but I'm an honest person. We could go to counselors or whatever, but it's HER that has the issues. What else can I do? Tried talking nicely, tried telling her there's nothing to worry about, but she's just not willing to compromise. Maybe she knows I'm a decent looking person and girls will find me attractive, but as I said...I'm too old/mature to be dealing with little kid shit, cheating, bringing drama and such.
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kewldude475 posted...

DontHateMe posted...

kewldude475 posted...

Settle with her? You mean get married? How old are you again?

By settled I meant more like I'm getting to the point where I'm not hanging out with friends as much, hanging with her mostly, we even live together. Eventually it'll lead to marriage yatta yatta. I'll be 27 in a few months and have been with her about 7 years.

Okay yeah you're 27 getting big boy jobs so definitely take whatever you can. If you two live together and have expenses she's gonna have to accept this one for what it is.

Thanks. I'm glad you see it from my side. It might end in a break up, but I'm just trying to move foward and anyone trying to hold me back I might have to cut off.
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Haldol posted...

Look

Broke or not, you shouldn't let anyone dominate you like that. You're a man. You should act like one and get your stuff together. You should be running things, not bowing down to your woman.

Women don't respect that shit, no matter what sjws, white Knights, and feminists will tell you. Women like a man in control.

The dominance, manipulation, and disrespect will only get worse. One day you'll be posting on here about how she's beating you. Either man up and check her, or leave

After the FB thing, she hasn't gotten her way...which is probably why I even made this topic. She's not getting her way now. I'm going to the interview tomorrow actually. I guess I needed justification like...there's no way I'm wrong right? This isn't all in my head? She's being crazy right?
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kewldude475 posted...

Settle with her? You mean get married? How old are you again?

By settled I meant more like I'm getting to the point where I'm not hanging out with friends as much, hanging with her mostly, we even live together. Eventually it'll lead to marriage yatta yatta. I'll be 27 in a few months and have been with her about 7 years.
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KLouD_KoNNeCteD posted...

Of course you have no idea what I'm talking about, here is a hint, I saw your little story on another board about how you set your friend up to get dumped by his girlfriend. Yeah I read the whole thing to, pretty scumbag thing to do. You wanna tell the story or should I??

You're hilarious. I came across this board not too long ago and haven't made a topic in any other board. Are you a known name here? If so, I apologize my topic is getting attention. I'm just trying to figure all of this out with some input.
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kewldude475 posted...

DontHateMe posted...

kewldude475 posted...

Is this a good job? Do you not have other job opportunities present? If no to both I'd say just get a different job if you really like/love this girl. The way things are nowadays it's easy to see why she'd be concerned.

A person such as myself, yes, it's a good job that will allow me to pay bills and other responsibilities while allowing me to save. I'm working a job that's not worth it to me now, I've had 2 other interviews with no luck. The fact that this job is easily attainable after being stressed with no luck from the others...why should I pass it up because of her jealousy issues? She herself knows about my job struggles, so why be against something that will ultimately help US out in the end?

In which case I would definitely take the job and explain to her that she's more than enough for you and that you aren't worried about the other girls at the job. That is the case right?

Exactly. And that's the problem. The way I view my current relationship status is im trying to settle now. I'm not looking to cheat, bring drama or whatever. Every time I tell her, her response is something along the lines of "If you take the job, I'm NOT gonna be alright with it".

The fact that I'm trying to settle, I DONT want to settle with her if this is how she's responding. That's why I feel stuck. I want to settle, but with the way she's acting, it turns me off from that idea. And if I don't settle with her, I rather save myself the time and not get involved with relationships that deeply.
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KLouD_KoNNeCteD posted...

Can't believe anyone is buying this shit. DontHateMe likes to make things up. He has this weird obsession with a girl his friend is seeing and he wants to throw his friend under the bus and steal her from him.

I have absolutely no clue what you're talking about. Care to share with what you're on?
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kewldude475 posted...

Is this a good job? Do you not have other job opportunities present? If no to both I'd say just get a different job if you really like/love this girl. The way things are nowadays it's easy to see why she'd be concerned.

A person such as myself, yes, it's a good job that will allow me to pay bills and other responsibilities while allowing me to save. I'm working a job that's not worth it to me now, I've had 2 other interviews with no luck. The fact that this job is easily attainable after being stressed with no luck from the others...why should I pass it up because of her jealousy issues? She herself knows about my job struggles, so why be against something that will ultimately help US out in the end?
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Haldol posted...

Khalpz posted...

DontHateMe posted...

Ulyanyx posted...

leave her tbh

if someone wants to hold you back because of a petty issue that they'd be jealous that you flirt, they arent worth your time.

I've been with her for too long for it to be over so quick. Ugh, I almost regret getting into a relationship. I see so many woman randomly throughout the day and it gets me thinking why am I doing this? Why am I stuck to one when I could be single and just date several?

Because at the end of the day it's just meaningless sex and none of them really have your back.

But hey gotta get those nuts off right?

It's important to have you own back too though, which TC does not.

I don't due to my situation, but that's why I'm seeking opinions. I can feel myself caring less and less and don't want to have any regrets with whatever decision I make.
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Haldol posted...

DontHateMe posted...

Haldol posted...

I think she just wants a dude she can control. Which us not a healthy dynamic for a relationship nor is it natural for a man.

Either start acting like a man or leave her. If she already dominates you then it'll only get worse.

There are some things I didn't care to give in to. Like blocking females on Facebook. The whole movie nude thing bothered me because that's just on another level. I have no problem leaving her, it's just my current situation makes it very hard.

I'm too good of a person in general. I'm very fair. I try compromising, if she's not willing to compromise...I don't need those negative vibes in my life.

You know you're in a bad spot and she knows this too. That's why she is flexing her power.

But even though you may be financially dependant l, you can still act like a man.

But what is your situation exactly?? Do you have no where else to go??

For starters, I'm broke. The only place I can go to is my parents, but that'll feel like a step backwards after living on my own (with the gf) for a few years already. It's not about saving face, I just will feel "stuck" living with my parents. My parents are getting old, I don't need to be stressing them out with MY problems.
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Khalpz posted...

DontHateMe posted...

Ulyanyx posted...

leave her tbh

if someone wants to hold you back because of a petty issue that they'd be jealous that you flirt, they arent worth your time.

I've been with her for too long for it to be over so quick. Ugh, I almost regret getting into a relationship. I see so many woman randomly throughout the day and it gets me thinking why am I doing this? Why am I stuck to one when I could be single and just date several?

Because at the end of the day it's just meaningless sex and none of them really have your back.

But hey gotta get those nuts off right?

I've been coming to the realization that I can only truly trust myself. I know how my mind works, I don't know how others works. Relationships take too much time and commitment. The one I'm in now is a perfect example. 7 years being honest and all of it just to go to waste? I'm not going to want to build up another relationship, it's too much work.
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voldothegr8 posted...

voldothegr8 posted...

Lol, I love BB. Although it's not as easy as it sounds.
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I told her today I don't see her as she sees herself in her head. She got mad and said she's shocked how I basically said she ain't shit. It sucks, because people need to know she's the crazy one. No one knows of our problems, but I have a big feeling if I end it with her..she'll try very hard to make me look like the bad guy.
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Too Complicated.

Haldol posted...

I think she just wants a dude she can control. Which us not a healthy dynamic for a relationship nor is it natural for a man.

Either start acting like a man or leave her. If she already dominates you then it'll only get worse.

There are some things I didn't care to give in to. Like blocking females on Facebook. The whole movie nude thing bothered me because that's just on another level. I have no problem leaving her, it's just my current situation makes it very hard.

I'm too good of a person in general. I'm very fair. I try compromising, if she's not willing to compromise...I don't need those negative vibes in my life.
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NinjaPirateDood posted...

she's a lil cray-cray, but she's paying your way. mmm, envious. wish I had a meal ticket.

Lol, no man. I don't care if she's willing to pay for rent and bills, I need my own freedom and money too.
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Lonestar2000 posted...

She's cheating on you.

I highly doubt it. There's no signs or suspicions. She has no friends herself. I told her to try getting some girlfriends, but she can't.
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