Lurker > Disengaged

So pro life.

Sounds like you just don't deserve anymore effort than that.

wanderingshade posted...

I wonder how much of God Hand's score was because of how much game journos of the time really really hated Japanese games.

Probably more they hated games that they weren't instantly good at and demanded to be learned for success. Monster Hunter got this treatment for years.

Punished_Blinx posted...

https://twitter.com/grantkirkhope/status/1643446092791705600

Lame

Nintendo's been getting really fucking shitty with this recently.

I doubt this is real, but I really really really hope cloud based 'gaming systems' continue to be rejected with extreme prejudice, the second they get a foothold, it's fucking over.

COVxy posted...

Let's be honest, incorporating any extra plot would just get REEEs from gamers for not being "true" to the source material.

Let's be honest, any kind of attempt at meaningful plot wouldn't be true to the source material lol.

Punished_Blinx posted...

So we have gone to merchandise movies can indeed be good but it's that this being a video game adaptation is now what makes it unfair? .

No, spiderman is not a merchandise franchise, or a non story based videogame franchise, it's a comic book franchise, and comic books sell stories, that's the main product. And you know it, now you're just trying to weasel and lie because you're failing.

And case in point:

I guess making a Mario movie plot as interesting as The Secret Life of Pets was just an unfair expectation from these critics

And what pre existing product was this made from?

Oh? Nothing? It was created exclusively to sell a story?

Punished_Blinx posted...

If the score of 56% sticks it'll be the 10th greatest Illumination movie.

It'll need to gain 4% to overtake The Grinch.

If it drops 2% Minions will take back its 10th spot.

Why not? Spider-Verse wasn't a particularly good comic and the entire concept is a way to market all the different Spider-man to make them relevant in a big crossover event.

It was also made by the same studio that made The Emoji Movie.

First movie has no reason to be as good as it is.

Because comic books are a story telling medium first and foremost, they make money selling their stories.

Something a Mario platformer will never, ever, do.

Punished_Blinx posted...

Just gotta look at Chris Pratt's other animated movies bud. All scored over 80%. Two of which are about Lego.

Lego learned what they were doing the hard way:

But LEGO kind of got away from what it knew how to do. The TV show, for example, was so bad. And I looked this up on IMDB: Nobody who ever acted in it acted in anything ever again. It destroyed careers. It was just stunningly bad because LEGO drove that show and really didnt know how to do that.

https://knowledge.wharton.upenn.edu/article/how-lego-stopped-thinking-outside-the-box-and-innovated-inside-the-brick/

Gonna get Into the Spider-Verse 2 this year. Pretty sure that's gonna be good.

Yeah no not even close to the same thing.

I'm talking to people who think critics are being unfair to Mario yet trashed on Minions for the last decade for the same reasons.

So definitely not me then, quote them when you say that shit lmfao.

Zonbei posted...

Why why was it important the couple at the beginning was black..

I think this reviewer (in the link, mods) might be a fucking moron.

I want him to review the transformers movie so he can write six pages about the true meaning behind killing off all the auto bots so they can roll out new toy lines.

Punished_Blinx posted...

Plenty of movies that are merchandise cash grabs not only still get reviewed but review well.

Sure they do bud.

I dunno why it's so hardto accept that this is just a generic movie even by animated kids movie standards. It has fucking Holding Out for a Hero in the soundtrack.

Who the fuck are you talking to? Are you having an imaginary preconceived argument with a figment of your imagination? Cause you sure as shit aren't talking to me.

dancing_cactuar posted...

They recognize the reference and start clapping or pointing at the screen like that one DiCaprio meme, ergo this movie is immune to criticism because it referenced things they recognize which boomers most likely would not.

"Why are these people doing what they are paid by their employers to do?"

Yeah I don't think they're paid to jerk off lmfao.

Punished_Blinx posted...

Do you think this movie is being unfairly reviewed?

I'm thinking why the fuck are these people taking the amount of time and effort they are to actually fucking seriously review this movie.

It's a fucking merchandising cash grab not citizen Kane.

The normal do 'what'

"It's a cash grab".

Punished_Blinx posted...

And the reviews reflect that?

No, they don't.

The normal people do. Not the "critic reviewers".

Which is fucking amazing btw. Some of these reviews are just, so fucking good. And not because they're good.

Like this one. I fucking love this one. Everything is perfect down to the authors profile picture.

https://screenanarchy.com/2023/04/the-super-mario-bros-movie-review.html

It just keeps getting more unintentionally hilarious the longer it exists.

Punished_Blinx posted...

This isn't really a rebuttal of anything? They weren't forced to adapt a franchise with a paper thin plot. That's what they chose.

Video games having paper thin plots is why they're hard to adapt for movies generally. Which usually leads to bad movies.

Holy shit he's responding seriously.

This movie isn't here to tell a good story or be a good movie.

The Super Mario Bros. Movie is a colorful -- albeit thinly plotted -- animated adventure

Pack it up folks, Mario bros has a thin plot.

Never have I seen such disgrace as this to the rich cherished history of deep complex Super Mario Game stories.

Yup. Time to fire up the ol tagger.

https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/a/user_image/6/4/6/AAeN3DAAEWO-.jpg

Having ark flashbacks.

No.

No. No. No. Everybody stop fucking dying right now.

ToasterStrudeI posted...

Pics of food and gf.

That GF is gamefaqs not a girlfreind.

PerseusRad posted...

If wall jumping is an intended mechanic, is it really considered sequence breaking? I really havent played much of that game.

Yeah, they nerfed it in several spots for the pal release, they didn't catch how bad it could be exploited.

Literally never understood the issue people had with this.

You jump towards the wall, touch the wall, press away from the wall, and jump. There's even a frame of animation showing you you can do it.

Removing this made wall jumping so boring, unengaging and automatic.

I haven't gotten yet. I heard it cut out like half of all the best parts of the game, and I'm talking events and areas not cheese dialog.

Supersex420 posted...

i remember watching this when i was 6 and thinking at some point it would show me a naked chick

Nope. Not Johnny bravo.

That was 2 stupid dogs. And I was not expecting it.

https://youtu.be/P_TTHbHXswY

Fool.

80's Metal had no rules.

No.

Where do y'all find this shit.

Winner.

https://youtube.com/watch?v=qd39zSY9F04&si=EnSIkaIECMiOmarE

Pickle girl, unfortunately, never made it onto the X-Men. It just seemed that the mutant ability to generate pickles out of ones esophagus didn't have many field applications.

They literally had a recruitment operation for a known self avowed Neo Nazis Portland kill list building project running for months that wouldn't get shut down. It wasn't until Jan 6th that anything was done about that cesspit.

On which account, work or personal?

On work I'm tagged on a lot of emails that don't need my involvement unless someone is out.

So 9,000.

On personal I basically don't look at anything that's not bills.

I'm not looking at the number lol.

Oh yeah.

Rob Van Dam got me shit faced at the Jim Beam in Bulgaria.

What if they can hire themselves a proxy tho?

https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/a/user_image/5/4/0/AAeN3DAAESTU.jpg

Pretty Attractive.

Little too 80's/90's conventionally attractive villain face for me though.

This also highly coincides with people who look like they could be at my family reunion. Which she does.

I ... I don't think that mental relationship I have is a coincidence.

Yes.

Fart the Movie.

My wife has had this movie, on VHS, forever, since before we were married, it's one of the things that ended up with her when she moved out of her childhood house.

Apparently she watched it with her siblings all the time and it was hilarious.

Of course, we didn't have a VHS to watch it on. But she would go on and on about how we had to find a way to watch it.

One year for her birthday I got her a VHS I could actually hook up to our TV, just so she could watch this movie, about fart. She was ecstatic.

That night, as we were finally, after all these years, watching the glorious masterpiece that was FART the movie, at 30 minutes in, it became readily apparent that her and her siblings never watched anything more than like the first 5-10 minutes of the movie.

It was bad. It was so bad, and just stupid and weird, and not in a so bad it's good way.

Like the entire movie was literally just parodies of normal boring 90's commercials adverts and game shows, but with the main topic replaced with fart.

But she had begged me for this for YEARS upon years, so she had resolved to sit through the entire, painful, ordeal.

The wtf look on her face during the penultimate finale where everybody in a high society party gathered around the poor secondary protagonist (who was tired of the main protagonist just lying around the house farting all the time) ripped off their pants, bent over, and farted a literal three minute long fart marathon on her...... Was priceless.

A_Good_Boy posted...

wtf

Because the tigers had to go away to form Voltron.

Only slightly related, My kids have been watching me play through dbz kakarot and absolutely loving it.

This recently reached a fever pitch with the appearance of Recoome, his butt cheeks, and his rectangle head.

They think recoomes rectangular head with hair only on top looks way too much like ferbs head from Phineas and Ferb, and Recoome is now known as Muscle Ferb.

Recoomes penchant for silly poses and animations only exasperated their laughing fits, and after Vegeta gave him a final flash to his backside, had them wailing about how he got blasted in his butt cheeks.

When the smoke cleared, and recoomes outfit had a tear on its butt, because Vegeta did, in fact, blast him in the butt, it was over, sanity had left the house, and there was nothing but the roar of children's uncontrollable laughter at pure slapstick. "HE DID GET HIS BUTT BLOWN UP!!!!!"

Now they can not so much look at a picture of 'Muscle Ferb' without breaking out in fits of laughter.

they do occasionally flit through some animes when browsing through the large library of streams. They try random episodes based on thumbnails.They did try to watch DBZ when they recognized it from the game, but found it too boring to watch. I think they expected it's pacing to be as condensed as the game.

They watched some Voltron, soley because of the robot tigers. They were disappointed every time Voltron came on screen.

Gundam is the boring talking show with boring robots. Said robots would be better if they were dinosaurs I am told.

The only exception is when they came across a thumbnail with Ramba Ral on it, which they found hilarious because they think it's me as a cartoon.

It's looking good enough for the trailer editing to start pissing me off as it flits between scenes interupting me as I'm trying to grok its underlying mechanics lol.

Ricemills posted...

Is this inspired by Last Ronin?

Looks like that's old man Mikey to me.

As one of those escapees from those disgustingly two faced shitheels, allow me to say good, and welcome fellow escapees.

TheSavageDragon posted...

It's been inconsistent since the start really.
IIRC during the King Piccolo saga everyone's bodies needed to be preserved for some reason in order for them to be revived. In DBZ this was suddenly not a thing anymore.

Toriyama used 'Kami pulled some strings to get our bodies' as a cheat to save himself effort. And later began 'upgrading' the dragon balls to change their rules for convenience.

Serial pedo rapist.

They should have wished for the saiyans to have a sudden change of heart, and suddenly fiercely desire to become the universes mightiest caterers.

https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/a/user_image/6/0/8/AAeN3DAAERGQ.jpg

BlinkyGoldfish posted...

That instructional video was for self masturbation. Did you even watch it! Cmon dog

Bruh Dawg, do you think there is a like a secondary vagina somewhere that has to be touched if it's someone else doing it?

Gobstoppers12 posted...
Y'all are literally biting 47 posts worth of bait from a 4-karma alt account.

Bruh. This is ce. This is why we are all here.

BlinkyGoldfish posted...
who said anything about my own girl not having orgasms? Lmao again with this board not understanding the concept of even dating women I guess

She did.

Bruh she sent you an instructional video. You ain't getting the job done.

BlinkyGoldfish posted...

Whats a trickfinger

If you knew that none of us would be in this thread.

BlinkyGoldfish posted...

No shit Sherlock

Well glad to see were both clear on post 39 you being stupid.

Also this is a lot of effort for you to make excuses for just not wanting provide the effort for your partner to have an orgasm.

Like I said ladies. There are plenty of fish in the sea, cut your losses.