Lurker > Harpie

These topics suck

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TC what did you do you bad boy

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Wii_Shaker posted...

Damn, so his true identity remains a mystery.

Its a damn shame. I am very trustworthy with identities. The MOST trustworthy in fact. Theres faceless ceuser who I know the full name, face, birthday, and address of

I gave them a pic of my state ID as collateral though tbf

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Vegy took me on an e-date to Waffle House, but no face pics

Were DONE

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SolidShadow3 posted...

Glad the going slow thing worked out for you. Well.. kinda.

It worked well enough. To be fair I wasnt trying to climax, I was more focused on enjoying myself and having a consistently good time. Which is new because it worked

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ssj3vegeta posted...

What do you think it will feel like when it finally happens harpie?

what if its disappointing ...or addicting

I have no idea. Hopefully nice and not painful

I mean, as long as it feels better than the actual touching part I will be happy. Itd be kinda fun if it was addicting

Machete posted...

Good luck to you :)

Thanks ^^

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RedJackson posted...

Dont you have to like imagine something though? Like just furiously masturbating until you come around doesnt make sense, especially if youre not aroused to begin with >_>

Its like being on a rollercoaster ride that only consists of a straight line lol

Furiously masturbating just cause is what like creepy old dudes do in public restrooms lol

Yyyeah you bring up a great and obvious point I didnt consider. I listened to your advice though and started slow

Are you comparing me to creepy old men in restrooms?? I deserve it tbh LOL

thronedfire2 posted...

Squirting is hot, dont feel like you have to hold back >_>

I need to pound that message into my brain.. literally

ElatedVenusaur posted...

Yeah, take it slow. Maybe burn some incense or scented candles or something. It's generally harder for women to orgasm, and often they can't just get there with manual stimulation alone*. You might need to set the mood.

*Am not a woman, just assembling this from bits and pieces I've heard.

Ooohhh candles would be really nice! I dont have that, but I do have incense and an essential oil diffuser

Malcrasternus posted...

I know this is no laughing matter, but the idea of someone wondering why they can't get an orgasm then jump-cutting to a montage of them doing the most hardcore, depraved, pedal on the floor power waxing moves on their peach, finishing with "I just don't know what went wrong!" is making me laugh like an idiot.

>.>
<.<

Okay okay I dont go THAT hard

DrizztLink posted...

cut to Harpie, wearing a lab coat and goggles as she fires up the Orgasmotronic Clitosaurus 9000

LOL I need to make this a cosplay

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Day 5

Today I didnt use the toy, just my hands. I made it a point to tease myself and start very slowly, and build from there. I ended up having a great time for about 30ish minutes. Which is, by far, the longest a session has gone for me in probably years. This is also the first time I have used my hands and actually enjoyed it!

Because I started at 0 and not 100 this time, I didnt have to keep stopping and restarting due to sensitivity. Tomorrow I will maybe incorporate the toy, but only after becoming properly turned on lol

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SolidShadow3 posted...

I heard this from and old GF: go slow and gentle; increase intensity slowly as you can tolerate it. When you find a rythme that seems good just continue it until you're there.

These were coaching points for oral, and I've appreciated them since and have worked very well for me. You will know you better than anyone else. Maybe you can find a coaching video online or something that less about being porn and more about help? Idk.

Okay the top advice is actually helpful. That makes a lot of sense. I just realized that I do not try to warm myself up.. at all. Or even start slowly for that matter. Huh
Godammit

Yes! I actually have some instructional videos that were messaged to me about a year ago. I have never watched them though since I was too nervous at the time. Thanks for the reminder. My bodys ready

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im not 13 posted...

Have you tried "flicking the bean"?

Doing the same thing over and over again?

Yes but Im not very good at it lol

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Unspecified_NPC posted...

When you talk about being too sensitive, do you mean that the sensation becomes overwhelming and/or almost painful?

I only have had a few situations where that happened as a guy, but I can't post them here lmao

Yes exactly that. Its makes it extremely hard to have proper alone time because I cant keep momentum going. Its really frustrating
You got any ideas? >.>

I have a topic up on the sex board if you wanna post about it there

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Unspecified_NPC posted...

This, have been wondering too

Never achieved it. This topic is me trying to get my first O

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WallStreetWolf posted...

This might be a dumb question what are you trying when you are horny? You might be able to do it longer if you have something to look at or a feeling that really puts you in the mood

Idk I just try it whenever I take my morning shower. Now that I think about it, I dont really try to turn myself on before I use it.. I stop the entire session after like 5 minutes of not much happening

Hmmmmmm

Damn_Underscore posted...

Wait have you not had an actual O or are you trying to get better ones?

I have never gotten an O ._.

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Day 4

Today I set a towel down in the bathroom, and messed with the toy for a while. I can now keep it on for about 25 seconds at a time, max, which is double the time from a few days ago

Im much less squeamish about the whole squirting situation so thats a plus. I might try again later tonight

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CosmicShadows posted...

Push ups and squats aren't enough.

Something is better than nothing

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Day 3

Didnt do anything today, as I was feel very anxious for most of it. Its hard to get in the mood when that happens. Tomorrow will be better

But! I did go to the gym today, so thats a plus! Its nearly been two weeks of consistently going to the gym 5 days a week so Im happy about that

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I cannot complete even a single push up

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Two or three, at least. I know one blocked me for commenting in his anti-women topic asking for clarification. He told me to be quiet, girl and then I was blocked LOL

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WallStreetWolf posted...

Is the another one of those those stealth trolling topics or do you really not know that getting wet is, well, getting wet Harpie?

>.> no

I always associated wetness with exclusively the cream or lubrication part. Never the liquid. I didnt know it meant literally wet.

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Irony posted...

You're smarter than this

Im not saying that unhealthy food doesnt exist. Im well aware that clean eating > processed foods

I just hate the term junk food. And good vs bad foods. I know a lot of people with eating disorders who obsess over it. For example, I used to think that all carbs were bad foods. This includes pastas, breads, oats, etc. I would avoid them for weeks, then get cravings and binge 4000+ calories for days. Same with sugars.

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Unspecified_NPC posted...

My ex used to get very wet when we fooled around in calls. I think I speak for a lot of men when I say that getting wet like that is a huge turn on.

Is for me at least lmao.

Damn. It really isnt a turnoff when the stream is strong enough it looks like its peeing?

I have always assumed that squirting was supposed to be this gentle little pzzts for a second or two

gunplagirl posted...

Harpie you should message me on Facebook lol

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Cookie Bag posted...

Now that you know this...

Ever thought of just putting a bunch of towels below you and just... keep going?

Ive literally only done this like twice before in my life. Where I set down a bunch of towels and kept going. I would usually feel bad by the end though

Now that I really know about it, I dont think Ill feel as bad. So yes, Ill try this again tomorrow. Im always trying to prevent myself from squirting and I think thats my number 1 issue

berlyman101 posted...

put on your brightest yellow rubber raincoat and have urself a day tc

my bodys ready

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I actually 100% agree with TC. Obviously some foods are healthier for you than others, but I think that junk food is a harmful term to use when thinking about food.

There are no good or bad foods. Its just food. Tbh this kind of thinking leads to a bad relationship with food, and often times it can lead to disordered eating such as binge eating, bulimia and anorexia.

Ice cream isnt inherently bad. Its when you eat the entire gallon tub that it becomes an issue. Its all about moderation. Not if its good or bad.

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im not 13 posted...

Wet = very good. Better time for everyone involved

How did you not know this tc lol

I always associated wetness with exclusively the cream part. Never the liquid.

I have very minimal sexual experience and have also never watched porn. So a lot of what I understand is based off assumptions from what others say

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Okay so, for the first time ever, I went to reddit to see some content. You guys were saying the amount that was coming out was normal so I had to check for myself.

Holy shit. I assumed that normally it was supposed to be a small amount, and I was just gross for having so much. Boy was I wrong. Its common. My mouth was literally wide open in shock as I scrolled and scrolled by so many videos! And all of them had about the same amount if not more!

WHAT?? WHY DIDNT ANYONE TELL ME ABOUT THIS BEFORE NOW. I HAVE LIVED MY LIFE BELIEVING THAT WHAT I DID WAS WEIRD AND WOULD BE A TURNOFF TO OTHERS

these posts had hundreds if not thousands of upvotes I-

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g980 posted...

why bother having a vote if you think people should face extra-legal repercussions for voting a certain way?

Its horseshit that he was acquitted

But lets not resort to literal fascism

This

I loathe that he was acquitted, yet again, but we live in a democracy. The 2/3 vote wasnt secured so thats that. Vote better in local elections

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Good luck fam

Whats your average call back ratio

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berlyman101 posted...

"squirting" is well known and common. I thought they were supposed to teach you this shit at slumber parties

it sounds like you've got yourself a ticket on the pleasure train, bucko! Choo Choo

I was never allowed to have slumber parties ._.
Also never really had any girlfriends growing up. I know nothing

Hopefully! I WILL have my O godammit

[LFAQs-redacted-quote]

Im not able/willing to seek out any medical advice. It isnt realistic for me. I will need to figure it out on my own, and I think I can

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ImAMarvel posted...

The O Saga is my favorite part of the CEmen Cinematic Universe lol

I dated someone who had a very similar problem actually. She said it might've come from a childhood injury. Idk

Omg thats actually a huge compliment thank you!!

Oof, I wonder how that couldve happened. For me at least, I am lucky enough to not have any real sexual traumas or injuries

CE_gonna_CE posted...

So... its normal. Will post a link to a medical site that supports this, but its nothing to be alarmed about or that a Dr would tell you is a concern.

But yeah, if you feel that its gross then it would certainly be uncomfortable and kill the mood. Another mental hump youd have to get over, pretty much.

..What. How normal??

Maybe this is why I should watch porn, maybe then Id had fuckin known its normal
Actually scratch that, porn is a terrible sex education source lmaoo

I think Ill try again later today in the bathtub. I used a towel folded three times over, plus I was still wearing underwear and some sweatpants and it STILL made a wet spot on the bed. I have a waterproof mattress cover though so it isnt that big a deal

berlyman101 posted...

I'm pretty sure this is normal. paging Dr. Patrice

https://youtu.be/CV55bIGmZv0

lmao this technique actually makes it squirt out instead of leak out, which is why I usually avoid it. It feels nice though

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Heartomaton posted...

This actually sounds like a medical issue. Maybe try seeing your gynecologist.

Yeah, thats not happening anytime soon. Theres zero chance I can afford that ._.

Well, time to wash my sheets I guess lmao

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Lmao thanks teep

I will get there one day

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monkmith posted...

now lets all picture soft goth vegy...

Mmmm yummy

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Day 2

I tried out the same new toy from yesterday, as that has been the best one Ive ever tried so far.

I stopped after two minutes though because I keep... leaking. A lot. It feels like Im peeing myself its so much fucking liquid and its kind of humiliating. It makes me feel like Im gross and nasty, and therefore is a big turn off.
I used the bathroom about 30 minutes beforehand, so I really dont understand where its coming from.

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Johnny_Nutcase posted...

Noooooooooo. They'll fuck the whole game up.

Yeah why do they do that
how

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I'm in

shall I draw the simps to cah?

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Maybe if we GOT our stimmie we would

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Damn you got any extra?

Also I see that you have the superior pastel Walmart cup
I approve

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nothanks1 posted...

and zannol

Ohhh LOL

Then this guy has no business trying to call out others for being creepy. Which I have seen him do time and time again. Pot, kettle, black, etc etc

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Mabus is probably my favorite person on this website.

Hes at least in the top 3

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It probably does work well for a lot of women. For me though, it would not.

Some finger curling? NOW were talking. I cant go too much into detail on this board though. I have a topic up on the sex board if you wanna chat about specifics

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Are you CosmicShadows?

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ssj3vegeta posted...

dat just means you get more chocolate in dis CErelationship

How can we be in a relationship if we dont have a date

Frostmourne posted...

how could you harpie. I thought we had something

Thats news to me

Johnny_Nutcase posted...

Uh oh. Be careful Harpie. He's always asking what we would do if so and so did this or that. I may have given him some pretty bad advice in the past. May come back to haunt you. Watch out for trip wires and vodka in the eyes.

how could you betray me like this

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Returning_CEmen posted...

Are you worried about losing sensitivity down there?

Nah, why?

If anything Im worried about too much sensitivity, and the lack of control that comes with it

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No offense Zodd, but that will do absolutely nothing for me. Nada. Zilch

Also Im single ._.

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ssj3vegeta posted...

eww chocolate

vegy it hasnt even been 45 minutes yet, dont make me break up with you

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ssj3vegeta posted...

whats an O

Oreos

vegy when is our date

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Zodd3224 posted...

Have you tried a wand? That's the only thing that works for Wifey when I'm unavailable.

Ive tried similar versions. My main issue is that I pull away after 10-30 seconds, even when Im not using a toy. It feels way too sensitive

Oftentimes too, things like that end up making me numb down there

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Zodd3224 posted...

I have my wife flowing like Niagara Falls every time. You poor ladies...

To be fair, I dont think the problem was the other person. If I dont even know how to get myself off, how can I expect someone else to do it?

Johnny_Nutcase posted...

Did you try goin to the doctor? Just go in there and say "Ay! Why can't I get my rocks off here eh?"

Cause they likely wont have much to say besides, that sucks. Keep practicing. Also a substantial amount of women just cant achieve orgasm so

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