Lurker > OniRonin

> You open the topic titled "Tired of cat ears?"
You open the topic. You find an ongoing debate on whether cat ears are cute or not. You quickly find out that most people agree that cat ears are indeed cute.

---

god is dumb. she/her
#NotAllGamers #YesAllLandlods

and bad world-buildering

---

god is dumb. she/her
#NotAllGamers #YesAllLandlods

> You check PotD for any interesting new topics.
You realize you are experiencing the topics on the potd forum. They seem to be quite interesting.
"I'm going to be a dad!"
"Tired of cat ears?"
"Aliens in Ireland!"

Do you want to read one?


---

god is dumb. she/her
#NotAllGamers #YesAllLandlods

ParanoidObsessive posted...

(cont)

By Episode 3, both Anakin and Obi-Wan (and the Republic as a whole) are worn down by constant war. It should be established that the war has taken a toll on most planets (and people), and not just being some stupid thing most people can ignore as if it wasn't even happening. It's that fatigue and fear that will allow Palpatine to take over (if anything, the Palpatine parts of the Prequels are about the only elements I'd mostly keep intact - they're a fairly strong arc, and having him slowly manipulate his way into power works well. But it almost works better if he's NOT playing both sides of the war, but merely taking advantage of a war that would have happened regardless). Obi-Wan is well on his way to the more tired, sardonic self he is in Episode IV, but Anakin is going down a darker route. Frustration, bitterness. A desire to see the war end (especially since part of him just wants to settle down and live a normal life with his girlfriend/wife, raise a family, etc). THIS is what ultimately drives him to darker measures - a desire to end war, to bring order to a chaotic galaxy. In his mind he's doing it for his love and his family, but he's starting to go to greater extremes, and this in turn is what drives his love away (and thus giving birth in secret).

Padme doesn't die in childbirth (that's lame, and contradicts Episode VI). Anakin doesn't turn to save her, only to kill her (that's ironic, but also lame). What happens is that she leaves him - and he lets her go, because he loves her. She's not a possession to be kept, or a prisoner to be held against her will (again, we need to LIKE Anakin, not have him be a shit). She leaves, he lets her go - and afterwards she finds out she's pregnant. THAT'S why Anakin never realizes he has children. And that's the weakness that never allows him to truly embrace the Dark Side - even until the end, he preserves his love for her in his heart, and on some level believes that everything he does makes the galaxy a better place.

He never attempts to find her, or reclaim her, or even see her again, because after he's burned and fully becomes "Vader", he no longer considers himself worthy of her. "No one could love the half-man that I have become." He makes himself cold, and callous, and pretends that he no longer loves her, to PROTECT himself. But that pain is always there. That love is always there. Buried deep. And that's what Luke calls up in the end. That's what redeems him.

And no, "Anakin" and "Vader" aren't magically two different people, because that's stupid. Vader IS Anakin - just a hurt, broken, bitter Anakin who spends decades trying to hide from himself inside a mask and a shadow. The sort of man who would probably go "No, that man is dead" if someone ever called him Anakin. Because he's lying to himself.

This also explains why he never hunts down Obi-Wan, in spite of Obi-Wan barely bothering to really disguise his identity in hiding. On some level, Vader doesn't really want to face Obi-Wan again, because he lost the first time. If anything, the reason he lost the first time might be tied to why he doesn't seek him out again - at some level, buried deep, he still has some fleeting fondness for his old master, and the times they spent together. That fondness isn't enough to prevent him from killing him when they meet again, but it's enough to keep him from actively searching the entire galaxy for him to seek him out.

So Episode III is where we finally see Anakin turn to the Dark Side, betray the Jedi, and join the Emperor. The Clone Wars end, and maybe we get to see Anakin/Vader kill/hunt down a Jedi or two himself, or maybe we just imply that's in the future, taking place in the time between the two trilogies. Episode III is also where Obi-Wan realizes (too late) that Anakin is falling, spending most of the film trying to redeem him before finally facing him at the end. We probably also get a scene between Obi-Wan and Yoda, where Obi-Wan admits that he wasn't as good a teacher as Yoda, while Yoda tells his former apprentice that all things happen for a reason (perhaps this is where the prophecy is finally hammered home, and we realize that the "Balance" Anakin is bringing to the Force is a galaxy where there aren't dozens of Jedi and only two Sith, but two and two. Or perhaps both the Sith AND the Jedi are disruptive in their own way, and the true balance is a galaxy where they're both gone).

(The prophecy is mostly there just to further the Anakin-as-Space-Jesus allegory, though, and I find that incredibly stupid, because it greatly diminishes Luke's role in the story as well as feeling kind of cheesy, so we could do away with the prophecy entirely and I'd be fine with that.)

For bonus points, if we've managed to establish a couple other cool and likeable characters in the previous two movies as side-kicks and friends to Anakin and Obi-Wan, Episode III is where we kill them off. If it happens earlier enough we can have Anakin rage over the loss (thus furthering his fall), or if it happens later on, he can remain cold and callous (thus highlighting how far he's already fallen). If we have enough likeable side-characters, we can do both.

My other main points of contention for the overarching story are the Clone War itself and the droids. We should probably make the Clone Wars something where the clones are the enemy, not a lame plot twist to try and sterilize the war by having it be between robots and clones (supported by the fact that in real life, we usually tend to name wars after the people we're fighting, not ourselves - the Punic Wars were named that because the Romans won, and then wrote about their victories against the Punic Empire of Carthage). Make the clones alien monsters, and emphasize that good men and women (actual people) are dying fighting them (thus turning the people against the Republic). Make them evil enough that we don't start asking moral questions about the Republic killing them all, or leave us feeling guilty about them all getting wiped out to end the war. The Empire should be seen as a thing to praise (at first), a powerful unified government that was finally able to end the threat for good. The Empire calls it the Clone Wars because they fought and defeated clones. The end.

As for the droids, no, I don't care if people like 3PO and R2, they shouldn't be in the Prequels. We see their story begin in A New Hope, and retconning them back into everything else is contrived as fuck. If we need new droid characters, we can come up with cool ones (like the one everyone liked from Rogue One, not the one everyone hated from Solo).

Basically, what Lucas should have done is sat down, actually watched his own fucking movies, and parsed out what Obi-Wan said, and tried to make the Prequels feel more like the universe was actually implied to be, rather than deciding to go off an entirely different path that feels like it barely fits in the same franchise, and then half-ass the character turn that is supposed to be the entire point of the Prequels in the first place.

Tl;dr

---

god is dumb. she/her
#NotAllGamers #YesAllLandlods

How many cards are in a 52-card deck?
One.
What do you call a fake Psychic?
A pretendic.
What is red and shiny?
A horn!
What do you call Santa's helpers?
LUMOS!

---

god is dumb. she/her
#NotAllGamers #YesAllLandlods

Knock Knock

Who's there?

Door

Door who?

Door's open, son!

---

god is dumb. she/her
#NotAllGamers #YesAllLandlods

orc, troll... theyre all the same to me, because im a elf supremacist

---

god is dumb. she/her
#NotAllGamers #YesAllLandlods

bright

---

god is dumb. she/her
#NotAllGamers #YesAllLandlods

TPM is by far the best prequel. eps 2 and 3 are super generic, at least phantom menace is odd and different

---

god is dumb. she/her
#NotAllGamers #YesAllLandlods

There are two frogs sitting at a bar...

One says to the other "Hey, you ever been struck by lighting?"

"Yeah, you?"

"No."

The bartender says "We don't serve frogs here!

So the two frogs hop away.


---

god is dumb. she/her
#NotAllGamers #YesAllLandlods

A man walks into a bar...

The bartender says "What can I get for ya?"

"I'd like two jalapenos please."

"You're getting one jalapeno please."

---

god is dumb. she/her
#NotAllGamers #YesAllLandlods

> You post a gif on PotD.
As you make the post, Ken is still waiting patiently for you to reply.
Ken gets bored of waiting and leaves.
> You use your psionic powers to take control of OniRonin from afar and cause her to post that you are about to have a huge orgy with a bunch of very hot Irish women wearing cat ears and nothing else.
You enter the orgy. There are beautiful naked women in every direction you look. They begin to touch you and caress you and fondle you. One whispers into your ear, "This is a dream come true."
Soon you find yourself engaged in intimate activities. You have a difficult time concentrating on what to do next. You don't know whether to focus on one woman or to just give into the passion and make love to everyone.

---

god is dumb. she/her
#NotAllGamers #YesAllLandlods

Marx and Lenin is my favorite rpg series

---

god is dumb. she/her
#NotAllGamers #YesAllLandlods

> You say "It's not a big that guns are loud and can hit someone you don't want to hit. It's a feature."
The girl begins to tear up, and soon she is sobbing. She leaps out of the window, never to be seen again. You don't understand why she is crying, guns have never bothered you.
You continue into the woods, and find yourself face to face with a large man. He appears to be angry.
"Greetings," he says, "I am Ken. I have come here to beat you with a club, because this is what I want to do most in the world."

---

god is dumb. she/her
#NotAllGamers #YesAllLandlods

You realize that this topic is a CYOA.

You are not actually going into the woods. You are simply laying in your bed, reading a book.

You obviously take your katana off the wall-rack, and slip into your badass black trenchcoat and mirrorshades.

You put on your katana and get into your badass black trenchcoat and mirrorshades. It's time to get your delivery done for today!

You put your machete back in the truck and start driving towards the forest.

You put the machete back in the truck and start driving towards the forest. You have no idea why you put it back there, but that's what you did.
As you approach the forest, you notice that you seem to have a little hitchhiker in the backseat. It appears to be a small girl, with cat ears and a tail.

>

---

god is dumb. she/her
#NotAllGamers #YesAllLandlods

You bring a machete.

You grab your machete from your truck before leaving. You know from experience that it is useful for many things in the forest.

>

---

god is dumb. she/her
#NotAllGamers #YesAllLandlods

You unzip your pants.

You pull out your flaccid penis, and begin to urinate onto the soil. After a few seconds, you zip up your pants and walk away from the area to avoid another citation.

---

god is dumb. she/her
#NotAllGamers #YesAllLandlods

is joe rogan a dumb smart guy or a smart idiot

---

god is dumb. she/her
#NotAllGamers #YesAllLandlods

You open up your topic to read other users' posts.

You open up your topic, and are hit with dozens of replies. It seems everyone and their mother is chiming in about this issue. You notice one post in particular that has received a great deal of support.
You click on it to read it more clearly.
It says "Bamboo sticks are the best option. You can make a spear to catch food with, or a bow for hunting. There's no limit to what you can do with them."

>

---

god is dumb. she/her
#NotAllGamers #YesAllLandlods

You try to post "I would take a multi-tool", but you aren't logged in.

You notice that you are in your driveway, and that you were just dreaming. You decide to head back to the website and finish your post.

---

god is dumb. she/her
#NotAllGamers #YesAllLandlods

You dont even remember your potd password, its been so long since youve had to actually log in.

You arrive at the gamefaqs.com/boards/3-poll-of-the-day website and try to enter your username and password. You click the "submit" button, but you are informed that your information is incorrect. You back out of the driveway and head off to the first stop on your list. You get there in record time, honk your horn a few times and begin to call it in when you notice something... odd.

>

---

god is dumb. she/her
#NotAllGamers #YesAllLandlods

You post "Into the forest, a bamboo stick works best for clearing small brush that inhibits you is possibly poison ivy or has ticks in it." on your phone while heading out.

You finish your post, and exit the house. You hop in your car and begin to pull out of the driveway.

>

---

god is dumb. she/her
#NotAllGamers #YesAllLandlods

pay respect to your uncle for me

---

god is dumb. she/her
#NotAllGamers #YesAllLandlods

You your package.

You carefully put the package in your backpack, and head to the door. You have a great deal of packages to deliver today, so you had best get started!
You exit your room, and head downstairs.

>

---

god is dumb. she/her
#NotAllGamers #YesAllLandlods

SpeeDLeemon posted...

Also, you didn't even come close to spelling Tsushima correctly. It's not hard.

it could barely be any closer without being correct.

---

god is dumb. she/her
#NotAllGamers #YesAllLandlods

"Today we discuss the most useful things to take into the woods."
You notice that someone has already made a reply, which is unusual since no one ever posts on this board. It says:
"Weapons of any kind. Except guns. They make too much noise and can easily hit someone you didn't want to hit. That's how accidents happen."

What do you do next?

---

god is dumb. she/her
#NotAllGamers #YesAllLandlods

how do you milk a crocodile anyway

---

god is dumb. she/her
#NotAllGamers #YesAllLandlods

i already have all 3 paper mario games (paper mario 64, thousand-years door, a bug's fable)

---

god is dumb. she/her
#NotAllGamers #YesAllLandlods

LinkPizza posted...

AFAIK, they give awards. Which you can buy with money...

can you sell the award to get the money back

---

god is dumb. she/her
#NotAllGamers #YesAllLandlods

do reddit users really give money -to reddit- to praise other users for good posts. why dont they just venmo it to each other instead

---

god is dumb. she/her
#NotAllGamers #YesAllLandlods

DirtBasedSoap posted...

homegrown television

You're thinking of HTV

wolfy42 posted...

I thought it stood for Huge GIANT TIGHT Vagrants

No, you're thinking of hGTv

---

god is dumb. she/her
#NotAllGamers #YesAllLandlods

''Hardcore Gamer TV'' stands for ''Hardcore Gamer Television''

---

god is dumb. she/her
#NotAllGamers #YesAllLandlods

he was also a furry lol

who was ruled INNOCENT in the shooting!!.

it takes more than 2 days to have a trial, buddy

---

god is dumb. she/her
#NotAllGamers #YesAllLandlods

please dont use the f word mead, its not polite

---

god is dumb. she/her
#NotAllGamers #YesAllLandlods

DeltaBladeX posted...

I live in New Zealand

https://pyxis.nymag.com/v1/imgs/37e/828/1e2a2943b3871f23576937330a0fbdd9f6-squidward.rhorizontal.w700.jpg

---

god is dumb. she/her
#NotAllGamers #YesAllLandlods

playing video games is fun and all,, but i kind of miss going out and doing things with my friends. idk maybe its just me

---

god is dumb. she/her
#NotAllGamers #YesAllLandlods

fuck the police

---

god is dumb. she/her
#NotAllGamers #YesAllLandlods

Princess Soma (1W) - Human Noble
1/2
You have no special powers. You are just here for the fun of battleing

---

god is dumb. she/her
#NotAllGamers #YesAllLandlods

Wow, you're all a bunch of perverts :/
Please tell me you don't act like this in public!

---

god is dumb. she/her
#NotAllGamers #YesAllLandlods

how delightfully devilish

---

god is dumb. she/her
#NotAllGamers #YesAllLandlods

WhiskeyDisk posted...

Clearly, back in 2016 we could have forseen China unleashing a plague upon the world, followed by whatever the "fuck you America" seed thing is about...

lol yeah, china released a plague in their own country. if you don't realize this virus was created by the CIA, i feel really bad for you :/

---

god is dumb. she/her
#NotAllGamers #YesAllLandlods

SunWuKung420 posted...

We are just discussing the hypocritical mindset that is suggesting that gathering in large groups (and possibly inciting or being victim to violence) is safe from covid but going back to work is a death sentence.

yeah, everyone agrees the cops shoudl go home instead of gathering to shoot tear gas at ppl

---

god is dumb. she/her
#NotAllGamers #YesAllLandlods

please stop arguing about unemployment or whatever, this topic is for making fun of the dumb cop and local news

---

god is dumb. she/her
#NotAllGamers #YesAllLandlods

SunWuKung420 posted...

So many places are hiring though but those covid checks to do nothing but instigate useless violence...

i agree, we shoudl eliminate the cops' budget

---

god is dumb. she/her
#NotAllGamers #YesAllLandlods

god is dumb. she/her
#NotAllGamers #YesAllLandlods

fact check: true

---

god is dumb. she/her
#NotAllGamers #YesAllLandlods

im not repaving my uneven driveway so that a cop might trip on it and hurt themselves. fuck the police

---

god is dumb. she/her
#NotAllGamers #YesAllLandlods

BeerOnTap posted...

Not a protest. If large rocks that injure people are being thrown, its a riot.

even in her retelling the rock didnt injure her lol. she tripped and tore her meniscus, and claims it was because a rock hit her leg

---

god is dumb. she/her
#NotAllGamers #YesAllLandlods

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BlRpwq1RaA0

"The officer who was most seriously hurt in last week's protests speaks out for the first time ... One rock hit her leg. She fell sideways, twisting her knee."

---

god is dumb. she/her
#NotAllGamers #YesAllLandlods

SpeedDemon20 posted...

?!?!?!

Shh, not so loud!! The mods will wake up !


---

god is dumb. she/her
#NotAllGamers #YesAllLandlods

DirtBasedSoap posted...

shut the fuck up

Every man with a microphone thinks he can tell you what he loves the most

---

god is dumb. she/her
#NotAllGamers #YesAllLandlods