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_PandaMaster_ posted...

The Imprisoned

Isn't that just Demise? Unless you specifically want me to rate the boss itself.

The Legend of Zelda: The Minish Cap
Using Ocarina of Time to speedrun Paper Mario
Ezlo
Dragon Roost Island (Music)
Ricky, Moosh, and Dimitri
Hand in the Toilet
Malo Mart
Drgn roost island
Screen Wraparound Glitch (LA): I remember looking up a guide for LA on GameFAQs, and it went into great detail about this glitch. I tried to use it dozens of times, unaware that it had been removed for LA:DX, which was the version I actually had. Eventually, I found a better guide that made the distinction. So, unfortunately, I can't really tell you how fun this glitch is to use. I assume it's VERY fun, it seems like one of those completely gamebreaking glitches that changes everything and can cut the game's length by 90%. Such a funny glitch to leave in, too. I imagine today, this would just be the victim of a day 1 patch.
Weapon Durability
Bug-Catching Net
Marin: No character's existence is more ambiguous than Marin's. Is she a dream? She has to be, because she's part of a dream. Why does she look like Zelda? Well, because it's a dream, that makes sense. But does she actually look like Zelda, what with her red hair? I dunno, but it's fine. But then you wake up, and a seagull flies by while Marin's face is in the sky, and is she the seagull? And if people in Zelda games keep reincarnating, is she also Malon, who is definitely not Zelda? If so, how does that work, if she's part of a fish's dream? Wait, the original version of the game has her escape the dream as a winged angel person? Guys... I'm beginning to suspect Zelda lore may be stupid. By the way, don't look up the original artwork of this character from the 90s, whoever drew it drew her eyes way too far apart.
The Legend of Zelda: Spirit Tracks
Gameboy Zelda Aesthetic
The Legend of Zelda (Rabbit Joint)
Sploosh and Kaboom (Quotes)
Link Gets Bullied

Well ExcuuuuUUUUuuuuuuUUUUuuUuuuUUUUse Me, Princess!
Ben Drowned: I had never heard of this before, so I read about it on Wikipedia. I'll say this about creepypastas: the ideal creepypasta is one that feels like it could be plausible, even if you know it's not, and is very simple. Slenderman was the best possible example of this: a creepy monster guy who shows up in the backgrounds of wholesome photos. Perfect. Everything about the Slederman myhtos beyond that is bad. The Backrooms are the identical thing: being trapped in an endless series of yellow-lit office spaces is good, absolutely everything else about the mythos is bad. So, the idea of buying an old Majora's Mask cartridge, finding someone's save data on it, and it glitching out in creepy ways? Plausible. But when the spirit in the cartridge escapes into the internet and addresses you directly, not so much. I wonder how much of this was motivated just by that creepy Link statue that shows up when you use the Elegy of Emptiness. It's like, it would have been less effort to make the statues look like the normal versions of Link. Making them look creepy took work. That's the kind of glorious, disgusting detail that not only adds character to the game, but raises weird existential questions that the game doesn't have to, and really shouldn't, answer.
Epona
Vaati
Squid-Hunt (Minigame)
Nintendo Power LttP Comics
David Jr.
Zant
Video Game Concerts: I don't mind them, but I also don't really care. To me, concerts are either for like crazy, raucous fun, or for high art. Video game music doesn't fall into either category.
Makar
Kass
5000 Rupee Heart Piece in MM
Gohma
xenosaga's Impulse Link/Epona Figure
Mechanical Harp: Windmills (Pikmin 4)
Legend of Zelda (NES)
Frostare
Nintendo Cereal System
Ancient Cistern
Triforce Heroes
Primitive 3D Aesthetic
Rod of Seasons
Zelda Kirby
Fishing Minigame (OoT)
Forced Stealth Sections
King Harkinan
Heart Pieces Locked Behind Bad Minigames
Zelda II: The Adventure of Link
Kinstones
Power vs. Wisdom vs. Courage (Splatoon): I've never played Splatoon, and I intend never to play it. My understanding is that this is just an event to celebrate the upcoming Zelda game where the Inklings are just playing normally, but their paint is red, blue, or green, depending on whose side they're on? It's not even a unique arena, but just edited around to have a Triforce shape? Look, man, that's... pretty lame. If it was like Ganondorf flying around painting the area red with evil magic, and hundreds of players have to cover the red paint while shooting him to send him back to his home dimension or whatever, that would be a little more exciting. But that's not what it is, so... I do appreciate that the Power team won, though. Whenever you give players a multiplayer option to be evil or good, the evil team will usually attract more players.

You've Met with a Terrible Fate
The Legend of Zelda: Skyward Sword
The Legend of Zelda: The Phantom Hourglass
Temple of the Ocean King: Here's the thing. The actual temple itself? Pretty good. It makes you use all of your tools, the layout is fairly clever, the aesthetic is neato. I like the gigantic ancient forgotten temple made out of stone, even if it's all very blocky even by 3DS standards... but I don't want to play it in-between every other dungeon. I just don't! Why would I want to? And that's obvious. It's obvious that no one was going to like this. The idea of a truly gigantic dungeon you keep revisiting is only going to be appealing if it changes things up each time. Like, maybe if the first time you visit, you go through an ancient temple, then you go to the lower levels and it's forgotten caves, then again and below the caves are lava caves, and then below that is a magical crystal castle, etc. But they don't do that. Although, make no mistake, this isn't PH's only problem, this is just the biggest and most obvious one.
Equipment Rental
Freshly-Picked Tingle's Rosy Rupeeland
Frog's Song of Soul (LA:DX)
Tadtones
Demise
Zelda Timeline

I'm so Hungry, I could eat an Octorok!
Molgera's Boss Theme: The first 12 seconds of this theme are very strong. Very good lead-up, I like the gong or bell or whatever that is. Then the whistling begins, and it loses some steam. Still a good tune, but the low sounds of what preceded it are scarier. It deserves points for being unlike what's in the rest of WW, though. Most of WW's music is fairly happy, this is one of the few tracks that are like intense?
Kirby (Link's Awakening)
King Zora: As a kid, I hated how slowly he scooches. As an adult, I ****ing love it. It's one of the stupidest jokes ever, completely out of place, and that's why it's so damn good. I'll compare it to the part in Super Paper Mario where you have to set the controller so Mario runs in a hamster wheel for like fifteen minutes of real time in order to progress. I love things like this. Too bad he died between OoT and TP. That's something odd, you know. This was the natural opportunity to have the new Link encounter someone who'd met the old Link, and he could comment on it in some interesting way... Instead, he's dead, and you meet his way younger, hotter wife. Hey, I guess if you're the king, okay. It's like, the games intentionally avoid having Link meet anyone who'd met his preincarnations? Everyone in OoT dies before TP, and those are the games closest in time to each other besides direct sequels. Lord Jabun at first seems like Lord Jabu Jabu, but he's not. According to the Zelda Wiki, there're competing official sources on whether the WW Deku Tree is the grown-up version of the Deku Sprout in OoT, or just a descendant. Is the BotW/TotK Deku Tree also just a descendant? Wait a second, the Wiki lists Cadence of Hyrule as "ambiguously canon," but Hyrule Warriors as "non-canon?" How the hell is CoH more ambiguous? Anyway, I think they're missing a small opportunity to have like a super old person show up and be like "ah yes, Link, it's been a while," and the Zora King would have been a great chance for that.
Ganon's Tower (LttP)
The Mask Salesman
Tetra
Royal Crest: I had to look this up, I had never really looked at it closely before. The Zelda Wiki claims that it's the Triforce above a Loftwing, wow, I kind of just don't believe it. Like, obviously this originated in OoT, and SS was over a decade later, but did they really decide that the bird is a loftwing? Because it looks like a generic eagle to me. Anyway, this is definitely better than any real royal crest. Real royal crests are almost all impossible to discern the details of because they're too complicated. But I mean... looking at this as an actual real world, this sort of implies that the Royal Family considers itself the owners of the Triforce, when two-thirds of it are always held by someone else. And a third of it is always used against them by Ganondorf, even!
The Moon
Dark Link: I'm sorry I keep referring to the Zelda Wiki, but I can't help it. Check out this description: "Dark Link is the evil reflection of Link. He is one of the most enigmatic enemy characters in the The Legend of Zelda series, usually appearing with no backstory and no dialogue, although it is implied on numerous occasions to be merely constructed of shadow magic. Dark Link is more than just a mere battle against a monster for Link, but a battle against himself, as the young hero has to face his own strength turned against him." It's like, dude, it's not that deep. Dark Link is a fun idea, though. If you were looking at Zelda as an actual real story, the idea of having your own strength turned against you is a cool idea. It would be even cooler if he had all of your powers, though. He always just tries to stab you; it'd be cooler if he had a bow, bombs, and so on, and the fight became more strategic, I'm imagining a Zelda version of the fight against The Boss in MGS3. Unfortunately, that's not what we get. The most charitable interpretation of Dark Link is that he's some kind of doppelganger made of evil magic reflecting Link's soul or whatever. But even then, he doesn't have motives or goals or a personality. Even Ganon, at his most one-dimensional and boring, has that. So, even though Dark Link is undeniably cool, all he is is another random enemy among a million random enemies. It's funny how demoted he got over time, too. From final boss of AoL to miniboss of the Water Temple to minions of a boss in OoA to just a cameo in TP to a optional challenge in a minigame in ST. Every time he shows up, he's less and less important. It's also kind of interesting, now that I think about it, of which Nintendo characters get dark versions. Link, Samus, Pit, Kirby, Sonic... but not Mario. Obviously, I know that Mario has Wario, but Wario was never just "Mario, but black." And unlike, say, Star Fox or Donkey Kong, which only have a few games and thus might simply have not gotten around to having evil versions of themselves show up, Mario's had a billion games. The closest thing I can think of is Bowser Jr.'s fake Mario disguise in SMS. How easy would it be to have Mario fall into a pit of evil goop, jump out, and then another Mario in black overalls jumps out after him, and there's a level of jumping over obstacles faster than he can? Nintendo must have at least considered this.
Door Charge Old Man
Gleeokenspiel
Sidon
Twilight Princess
Rolling in Ocarina of Time
Temple (Smash Stage)
Stamina
Companions
Colgera's Boss Theme

I Coveted That Wind
Link (Soul Calibur II)
Fierce Deity Link
The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time
Paraglider
Zelda/Sheik in Smash
Midna
Legend of Zelda (Theme)
Link (GameFAQs)
Gerudo Valley (Theme)

Good!
Cadence of Hyrule
Master Sword
Princess Zelda (Spirit Tracks)
Koji Kondo
Triforce
The Legend of Zelda: Majora's Mask
Gerudo Outfit (BotW)
Swordless Link Trick (OoT)
Cia
The Missing Link
Goron
Hookshot
Hearts
Song of Storms
CD-I Cutscenes
Legend of Zelda (Name)
Great Fairies
The Vision in Lanayru Spring
Skull Kid
Going Straight to Castle Hyrule in BotW
Japanese Link to the Past commercial

Hey, Listen!
The Legend of Zelda: The Wind Waker
Z3R
Bongo Bongo
Anju/Kafei Quest
Magnet Gloves
BotW Cooking Jingle
Hestu's Gift
Stealing from the LA Shop: So good. Not only does it add a little character to the game, it makes the acquisition of the bow either slightly nonlinear or a moral choice. You CAN spend forever grinding 980 rupees before leaving the opening village, or you can play the game normally and obtain them eventually, or you can just steal the stupid bow at the start. It's such a simple concept, and the game never even tells you that you can steal. You have to work for it, you'll never accidentally steal it on your own. I love that this is an option. And if you really want to look at things from a logic perspective, even the shopkeeper's ability to shoot a Kamahameha at you makes sense, since it's a dream.
Stone Tower Temple
Linkle
Bombos Medallion: This item has shown up exactly two times. It's basically just a big "fire attack everywhere" ability, the first time as an enhancement to your spin attack, the second time as just a straight-up magic spell. I just want to point out how the Wiki lists: Use(s): Defeating enemies, Burning enemies. Thanks, Zelda Wiki editors. I don't know how actually useful this item is, honestly, but it is at least cool, and it gets some points for that.
His Name is Zelda
Second Quest
Great Bay Temple
Heroic Fantasy
The Legend of Zelda: Link's Awakening
Link, the Silent Protagonist
The Legend of Zelda: A Link to the Past
The Legend of Zelda: Oracle of Seasons/Ages
Groose
Ghirahim
Medli
Saria
Well ExcuuuuUUUUuuuuuuUUUUuuUuuuUUUUse Me, Princess!
Jeremy
Water Temple (OoT): In a way, this is sort of the definitive Zelda dungeon, isn't it? Like, when I think of Zelda dungeons, for better or for worse, this is what comes to mind first. It's very by-the-books as far they go, but does have a lot of originality in its water-raising-creating-more-stories system. But hell, we all know that's not really what you're asking about. I've played this dungeon probably 8+ times, and I think all but once, I got stuck. Every time after the first, I knew the problem was in the central tower, and yet it still always took me forever to find it. There's just something about this dungeon's layout and puzzle system that make it really hard to deal with, and I can't really explain why. It says something that in the Master Quest version of the game, which is designed to make every dungeon harder, they accidentally made the Water Temple easier, because there was just no way to make it harder than it already is without altering the layout. And how... odd is it that this is the only water dungeon in the series that's underwater. That's true, isn't it? I think every single other has an entrance that's above water, and this is the only one you need to travel underwater to reach. Lastly, I just want to complain about the oyster things that attack you. You have to fight them using the hookshot underwater, and it's super annoying. I'm glad they never came back after MM. But, I mean, hell, people complain about this dungeon a lot, but it IS memorable. There are literally dozens of Zelda dungeons no one ever talks about it, some of which are in OoT, and its memorability is not solely due to its difficulty. I do think that this is, at worst, an okay dungeon overall.
Hyrule Warriors
Green (Color): I wonder what motivated the green color of Link's tunic. Was it somehow a technical limitations thing? Because when I think of heroic colors, I think of either red or blue. I never think of green. I can't think of any big-name heroes associated with green in any way, except I guess Luke's lightsaber? Was it because he's like an elf? Zelda wearing pink and white is fine, she's a princess, and Ganon dressing in dark colors is fine, he's the villain, but what the hell motivated the choice of green for your hero? This, the floppy hat, and the left-handedness are like the only aspects of Link that aren't just archetypal hero attributes, and I can't explain it. Anyway, as a kid, I always put the Zora Tunic on as fast as I could, and never removed it.
The Legend of Zelda: A Link Between Worlds: I mean this in the kindest possible way: LBW is the ultimate filler game. It's weird to say that about a game in a series with no overarching plot, where there can't really be filler because filler as a concept requires that it be filling in the space between two important games... and yet, here we are. Everything about this game just feels like LttP polished up: the map, of course, is basically the same thing, the general aesthetic is basically the same thing, the gameplay is basically the same thing, the reverse world is basically the same thing. The only differences are that you can get (almost) any item at the start, and you get the ability to 2D walk on walls. That ability, man, it reminds me of an indie game, where the developer has an idea for some hyper specific mechanic, then makes an entire game that's just "how can I use this idea in every possible context?" In that sense, LBW does its job perfectly: every possible way you can think of to use "turn yourself into a heiroglyph," it does. But, if we're putting things as bluntly as possible, then I have to say this: LBW takes exactly zero risks. It's a sequel, almost a remake, of the safest and most normal 2D Zelda, and possibly the safest Zelda period. I want to say that every other title takes a risk in some way? LoZ was the first, AoL was a completely different thing, LA is porting this vast game idea (for the time) to the GB, OoT is the step into 3D, MM has a time loop mechanic and a weird, gross atmosphere, OoX is this giant two-part game, WW has a completely different tone and semi-open world, FSA is multiplayer, PH has its stylus gimmick, even SS tries to go all-in on the deep lore, and BotW, we'll get to that. The only other games that are equally just 'the same thing as before' are LttP and TP, but LttP at least was updating things to the 16-bit era. Is there something to be said for making basically an updated version of LttP, a game that was itself basically an updated version of LoZ? And that's the thing. In a vacuum, I have to admit that this game is just better than LttP, because it is... but at no point while playing it was I ever like blown away or anything. I mean, hell, at the end, even Ganon comes back. So, that's how I have to describe LBW: it's very clever and well-made and charming, but very safe and predictable, and for that reason, I can't really put it on the same level as LttP, even though I'll fully acknowledge that it's actually a better game. Also... is the last 'lesser' Zelda game? I don't know if TFH counts, but if it doesn't, then this is the last non-console Zelda title, and the nature of the Switch sort of precludes making the smaller games in-between the larger ones.

redrocket posted...

Magic is literally one of the three stats you can improve when you level up.

I'll level with you: the only interaction I've had with Zelda II in the last twenty years is watching some randomized speedruns.

GOGZero posted...

Like, I obviously know that Link's been using magic spells since at least OoT (did he have one in LttP? I can't remember), but it was never his main 'thing.'

He used literal Magic in Zelda II: The Adventure of Link.

Magic Meter was also a thing in A Link to the Past.

I don't remember the magic in AoL at all lol. Oh wait, I do remember the fairy spell.

Raka_Putra posted...

Re: Hearts

Interestingly, the game my studio is working one settled on just a HP bar with the numerical value besides it, although we had hearts until pretty late in development. I believe ultimately it's because the HP bar + numerical value are more immediately intuitive as the game is a pretty fast-paced ARPG roguelite, so we chose something that's more readable at a glance.

I just noticed this part of your write-up. Yeah, I can see why you'd prefer a readable number for an action game or something, but I do stand by the idea that hearts have more personality.

I'm actually going to bump Cia up in the next post, because I just discovered a screen shot of her room where she just hung up Link photos everywhere, and that's funny.

Well ExcuuuuUUUUuuuuuuUUUUuuUuuuUUUUse Me, Princess!
Epona
Vaati
Squid-Hunt (Minigame)
Nintendo Power LttP Comics
David Jr.
Zant
Makar
Kass
5000 Rupee Heart Piece in MM
Gohma
xenosaga's Impulse Link/Epona Figure
Mechanical Harp: Windmills (Pikmin 4)
Legend of Zelda (NES)
Frostare
Nintendo Cereal System
Ancient Cistern
Triforce Heroes
Primitive 3D Aesthetic
Rod of Seasons
Zelda Kirby
Fishing Minigame (OoT)
Forced Stealth Sections
King Harkinan
Heart Pieces Locked Behind Bad Minigames
Zelda II: The Adventure of Link
Kinstones

You've Met with a Terrible Fate
The Legend of Zelda: Skyward Sword: I've talked a lot of **** about this game, so you might think it's my least favorite Zelda title. But it's not. PH is. SS is still bad, though, and for the reasons I've said before: it's the culmination of every bad instinct the series has ever had. Very predictable dungeon design, very cookie cutter overworld, tons of deep lore, reused bosses... Everything bad in Zelda, this game magnifies. There's something to be said for the irony of the overworld itself: it's the largest of any game, an almost infinite sky that you can travel at your highest speed in any direction for minutes, you've never been freer... but there's nothing to do for 99% of it. It's even emptier than WW's ocean. For all the freedom of the concept, Link has never been more constrained in what he can actually do. Even the minigames are lame, I'll take a good old-fashioned moving target practice over a "cut the totem pole" game any day. And then there's Fi. I actually don't mind the idea of you having a companion who's like "I'll always be with you, Link, because I'll turn myself into your sword forever" at the end of the game, and it's played for tragedy or whatever, that's fine. My problem with Fi is the same as everyone else's: she talks way too much. Navi's got nothing on Fi, not even close. Navi's not really that bad, and it's like Nintendo took every meme about her talking too much and just turned it into reality for some reason. I remember when the game came out, people noticed that if the Wiimote's batteries die during one of her dialogues, it instantly skips to the end, and there was speculation that speedrunners would have pre-drain batteries in order to take advantage of this, but I have no idea if this actually became a real thing. About the only thing in the game I'll compliment are the puzzles where a bubble of time travel to the past moves around and you have to manipulate things as it goes. I mean, honestly, I get that this is in practical terms basically the same gameplay as OoT, but expanded upon, and I praised OoT a lot, but OoT was working with 1998 technology and had to jump from 2D to 3D, so it has a lot more wiggle room for forgiveness of bad ideas or lame moments. And even then, it's still a better game. Does anyone like the final battle with Demise more than OoT Ganon? I can't imagine so. The only thing from this game anyone ever talks about is Ghirahim, and I don't blame him. At least he's something new and different and weird. He could have been cooler in a better game, I'll say that for him. Like, God, when I was twelve, I sketched out my idea for a Zelda game, and I'm pretty sure it was probably better than this.
The Legend of Zelda: The Phantom Hourglass
Equipment Rental
Freshly-Picked Tingle's Rosy Rupeeland
Frog's Song of Soul (LA:DX)
Tadtones
Demise
Zelda Timeline

Good!
Cadence of Hyrule
Master Sword
Princess Zelda (Spirit Tracks)
Koji Kondo
Triforce: This can't be the first "if you get it, you get a free wish" thing in fiction, of course, but it's the first one I remember. Or maybe not, maybe it's the Dragon Balls. I dunno. What I do know is that for all the trouble it causes, the goddesses should've just chucked it back into Heaven or whatever. I think it's only ever been used to do one good thing that wasn't just undoing damage caused by someone pursuing it, and that's restoring Lanayru, right? It also has the vaguest powers and properties in fiction. It's a physical object that's bigger than the King of Hyrule, but it can also exist as an invisible tattoo on the back of your hand, but each piece of it can also be shattered into seven pieces... The Triforce of Courage gives you courage, but to obtain it, you need to already be the chosen hero of the goddesses who's already the most courageous person in the land. The Triforce of Power gives you power, but they can't just stop it from going to the villain who's the most powerful. And the Triforce of Wisdom goes to Zelda, even though she is never wise in any of these games. The only game where Zelda can even possibly MAYBE be called wise is BotW, and even then, that's stretching the defintion of the word. And then Zelda is also actually the reincarnation of the goddess Hylia, who isn't the three goddesses who created the Triforce, but was given the full Triforce by them, so that's why she can wield it??? And let's not even try to factor in the Light Force or the relation between Hylia and Hylians. Like, the logic and lore of this thing makes zero sense even by "it doesn't matter" standards, but I'd be lying if I said I cared. I really only hold it against the games that go all-in on the deep lore; for OoT or LoZ, it's fine. In any case, I consider the Triforce to be the ultimate macguffin of video games. I can't think of anything else that even remotely compares to it.
The Legend of Zelda: Majora's Mask
Gerudo Outfit (BotW)
Swordless Link Trick (OoT): The actual trick itself is just kind of neat, but opening up Epona to glitchy usages of C-items is what really makes this fun. I've never done it, but hovering with the hookshot, using any item on Epona's back, and I didn't even know about the purple fog glitch or the zombie glitch. This is such a unique thing to video games as opposed to other mediums, glitches. The nearest equivalent I can think of is like when they released Star Trek TNG in HD, and you could see all of the marks on the floor that couldn't be seen in the initial broadcast, and you just watch as the characters walked over to their marks, and it was hilarious.
The Missing Link
Goron
Hookshot
Hearts
Song of Storms: God, I love it. This and Gerudo Valley are really the standouts of OoT. I can't really explain music stuff, but I like how it feels circular, round and round, and circus-y? It has nothing to do with rain at all, but that's okay. I remember once playing this game and taking a really long time in the windmill for whatever reason, and my sister got annoyed because the song gave her a headache. And now I'm listening to youtube remixes of it that are just awful. "Song of Storms Epic Version," get out of here.
CD-I Cutscenes
Legend of Zelda (Name)
Great Fairies
The Vision in Lanayru Spring: I like how awkwardly Link and Girl laugh when they see this. Her suddenly holding a knife and having white eyes is actually slightly creepy, not bad. Good use of creepy voice music. Evil Link's creepy face is also great, I have to believe this is the source of many memes I haven't seen over the years. Niezsche pseudo-quote about power while laughing girls fall through the abyss, nice. I kind of like this, actually, even though I have zero memory of it from when I played the game a billion years ago.
Skull Kid
Going Straight to Castle Hyrule in BotW
Japanese Link to the Past commercial

Hey, Listen!
The Legend of Zelda: The Wind Waker
Z3R
Bongo Bongo
Anju/Kafei Quest
Magnet Gloves
BotW Cooking Jingle
Hestu's Gift
Cia: Dr. Pavel, I'm CIA. Anyway, you might think I dislike HW's OCs, but you'd be wrong. I'm fine with them in a stupid spinoff game, that's fine. I guess I shouldn't be that surprised at Cia's design, it's actually less risque than OoT's great fairies... but the great fairies in OoT use 1998 technology, so they look like ugly blocks arranged in a mostly womanish shape. Cia uses 2014 technology, so she actually looks like a woman. I actually like her mask more than her face, too. Anyway, the idea of a villain whose only motivation is to bone Link, so she starts a gigantic war to that end, is hilarious. Too bad she gets Zanted and replaced by Ganondorf at the end, but that's the way it goes. Has Bowser ever done that, actually? Secretly been behind another villain as part of a master scheme? I don't think he has, Bowser doesn't seem smart enough for that. Probably everyone will agree that Cia > Lana, right? Her design is just way more striking and less DeviantArt OC-y. Although, now that I'm looking at her gallery on the Wiki, I just realized that Cia's original good form is light-skinned, then she has her goodness shaved off and it turns into Lana, and the evil that remains gets a deep tan? I don't know what to think of that. Also, this good form of her clothing looks a lot like a wedding dress, that has to be intentional, but I don't know why? Because she likes Link? So odd. Anyway, I was sad when she died, because it meant Lana lived. I would absolutely have preferred Cia to live over Lana, are you kidding?
Stone Tower Temple
Linkle
His Name is Zelda: Zelda is a pretty cool guy. Eh kills octoroks and doesnt afraid of anything.
Second Quest
Great Bay Temple
Heroic Fantasy
The Legend of Zelda: Link's Awakening
Link, the Silent Protagonist
The Legend of Zelda: A Link to the Past
The Legend of Zelda: Oracle of Seasons/Ages
Groose
Ghirahim
Medli
Saria
Well ExcuuuuUUUUuuuuuuUUUUuuUuuuUUUUse Me, Princess!
Jeremy
Hyrule Warriors

I'm so Hungry, I could eat an Octorok!
Kirby (Link's Awakening)
Ganon's Tower (LttP)
The Mask Salesman
Tetra
The Moon
Door Charge Old Man:
Gleeokenspiel
Sidon
Twilight Princess
Rolling in Ocarina of Time
Temple (Smash Stage)
Stamina
Companions
Colgera's Boss Theme
The Legend of Zelda: The Minish Cap
Using Ocarina of Time to speedrun Paper Mario
Ezlo
Dragon Roost Island (Music)
Ricky, Moosh, and Dimitri
Hand in the Toilet: Gross and unexplained, perfect job. This is a joke that really only works in MM, too.
Malo Mart
Drgn roost island
Weapon Durability
Bug-Catching Net
The Legend of Zelda: Spirit Tracks
Gameboy Zelda Aesthetic
The Legend of Zelda (Rabbit Joint)
Sploosh and Kaboom (Quotes)
Link Gets Bullied

I Coveted That Wind
Link (Soul Calibur II)
Fierce Deity Link: I'm gonna level with you. MM came out when I was twelve or thirteen? FFX came out when I was fourteen or so? When I was that age, I thought Fierce Deity Link and Auron were the coolest ****ing things ever. Now I'm a grown-up, and I still think Auron is the coolest thing ever, and FDL... is still pretty cool. What a good idea, and how well-executed. It's not merely the ultimate mask and the ultimate transformation in a game about masks and transformations. It raises a whole lot of deep lore questions that it never even attempts to answer, in a good way. It implies so many things, like why it's even called the "Fierce Deity." He looks super cool, like what you imagine Link to look like after decades of adventuring experience, except possessed by evil magic, he has this fancy helix sword for no reason, and he's tall enough to tower over most of what you see, as opposed to Link's normally diminutive stature. Everything about him just radiates power. And best of all, it's never explained. It's just there, a mysterious gift given to you by moon spirits or whatever they are. It's the Super Saiyan of the Zelda series, and Super Saiyans were always cool. Like, if I ever do a Dragon Ball version of this topic, I'll tell you right now that Super Saiyan 1 is going on the top of the list. I also really like how you can use it against the earlier bosses, and Odwala just runs away like a coward, that's hilarious. I don't know what I think of it completely trivializing the Majora fight. Like, even if you have minimum hearts, with this mask, Majora is a complete joke. Thematically it's funny, but I don't know about it mechanically. This might be the strongest "ability" in the entire series, right? Link gets a lot of cool, unique outfits in Smash, and this is one of them... although the colors are off, which is a weird mistake to make? I don't know, the Smash version just looks wrong. And I'm sure I'm not alone in thinking that Young Link's final smash ought to be this, right? I hate when the final smashes of clones are just clones of the main character, but no longer make sense, like Falco with a Landmaster. But I want to say this: part of what makes this so cool is that it only shows up once, offers no explanation, and leaves. If this was like Super Sonic, and showed up in every game, or even occasionally in several games, it would lose a lot of its luster. Showing up only one time in 2000 for five minutes at the end of the game is what makes it mysterious and awesome. I can easily imagine the alternate dimension where each game ends with Zelda assembling the Triforce and wishing you to become Fierce Deity Link, who's like explained as the original ultimate Link that all others reincarnate from, and that's how you fight Ganondorf or whatever. No, it's good that's a one-and-done thing... Holy crap, 235 dollars for one of these on Etsy? Get ****ed, Etsy craftsman, I would spend at most 40 dollars, and that's being generous.
The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time
Paraglider: Such a good idea, for a multitude of reasons, mainly three. First, this helps emphasize Link's shtick of being a hero who has a variety of little tools that he uses to overcome obstacles. Because BotW (and I assume TotK) has breakable weapons, and the only other items you really have are food and clothing, and all of Link's actual methods for overcoming obsctacles are now magical powers, Link is sort of reimagined as a more magical hero than he ever was before? Like, I obviously know that Link's been using magic spells since at least OoT (did he have one in LttP? I can't remember), but it was never his main 'thing.' Now it is, and it helps to keep him on-brand to have an actual tool he uses a lot. Second, the paraglider provides a really good contrast to the advanced Sheikah technology everywhere. Everywhere you go, you see super advanced magitech like it's FFVI or something, but Link also has this non-magitech-but-still-technology item he uses. By the way, why did a ninja clan have all the most advanced technology? Anyway, the third reason is the simplest: it's just fun. I've heard a lot of open world games after BotW stole this idea, and I don't blame them. It's just so much fun to glide around the world.
Zelda/Sheik in Smash
Midna
Legend of Zelda (Theme)
Link (GameFAQs)
Gerudo Valley (Theme)

GOGZero posted...

Yuga was whatever. He was a poser that wanted to be Ganon so badly.
He has a great theme though I'll give him that.

That's actually a surprisingly good theme.

Torlovsk posted...

The Vision In Lanayru Spring

I don't know what this is, do you have a link?

Twilight Princess
Rolling in Ocarina of Time
Temple (Smash Stage)
Stamina
Companions
Colgera's Boss Theme
The Legend of Zelda: The Minish Cap
Using Ocarina of Time to speedrun Paper Mario
Ezlo
Dragon Roost Island (Music)
Ricky, Moosh, and Dimitri
Malo Mart
Drgn roost island
Weapon Durability
Bug-Catching Net
The Legend of Zelda: Spirit Tracks
Gameboy Zelda Aesthetic
The Legend of Zelda (Rabbit Joint)
Sploosh and Kaboom (Quotes): I guess I did the minigame dirty, in that I didn't mention these. These are pretty much the only memorable or fun part of the game? Like, the rest is a simplified version of Battleship, but these quotes are... also there? It's strange how something as stupid as a guy screaming SPLOOSH KA-BOOOOOM can be so memorable. But like... it's not really THAT memorable. I don't know what you expected.
Link Gets Bullied

Well ExcuuuuUUUUuuuuuuUUUUuuUuuuUUUUse Me, Princess!
Epona
Vaati
Squid-Hunt (Minigame)
Nintendo Power LttP Comics
David Jr.
Zant
Makar
Kass
5000 Rupee Heart Piece in MM
Gohma
xenosaga's Impulse Link/Epona Figure
Mechanical Harp: Windmills (Pikmin 4): Doesn't Pikmin take place in the distant future, after Earth is destroyed? I'm willing to believe that Olimar would encounter a recording of the Windmill Song from Zelda, but I refuse to believe that exists in mechanical harp form. I don't even know where you'd buy a mechanical harp like that. Anyway, this rendition of the song is kind of lame? It lacks the energy and wackiness that really make the song what it is.
Legend of Zelda (NES)
Frostare
Nintendo Cereal System
Ancient Cistern
Triforce Heroes
Primitive 3D Aesthetic: I mean, it was our collective childhood. It's so ugly, but I do like it. I admit this is pure nostalgia, and it's not actually any good. Like, have you seen the original FFVIII recently? Have you really taken a good look at Mario 64 lately? I know that the jump from 2D to 3D was inevitably going to involve some teething issues, and not every series was going to make it out unscathed (poor Earthworm Jim probably had it the worst, though Sonic had the greatest fall from grace), but we're lucky that Mario 64 and OoT nailed everything in one try, even if they're just plain old kind of ugly. And if you want to see what this stuff looks like without the benefit of nostalgia, just check out N64-styled indie games on Steam. I played one named Valkie 64 lately, which is an OoT knockoff, and it's only a little worse-looking than the real OoT, and it's complete trash. Don't play it. But do look up a screen shot. And yet... I'll say this, OoT Ganondorf actually does look better than TP Ganondorf. To be sure of that, I just looked up Ganon's Wiki article, and I noticed it uses the "Dragmire" last name. I thought that wasn't canon?
Rod of Seasons
Zelda Kirby
Fishing Minigame (OoT)
Forced Stealth Sections
King Harkinan
Heart Pieces Locked Behind Bad Minigames
Zelda II: The Adventure of Link
Kinstones: I don't really mind a sidequest of "collect all of the thingies," that's common in video games. And the idea that the Minish make little stones that represent friendship, the stones get broken, and you need to collect and merge them together? That's fine, that makes sense, I like it well enough. But I remember them being really annoying to find. I may be mistaken, it's been a really long time since I played MC.

You've Met with a Terrible Fate
The Legend of Zelda: The Phantom Hourglass: This is probably the worst mainline Zelda title. It's not like SS, which emphasizes all of the worst elements of the series, but instead it just manages to do everything wrong. It's actually kind of insane how it dodges every opportunity to do something correctly. We have WW's sailing, reusing a single dungeon like five times, and the worst offense of all, stylus controls. I don't think anyone likes it when Nintendo does weird experimental controls, right? I remember everyone complaining about that ruining the newest Star Fox game, though I never played it. I did play this and KIU, and although KIU is good in most regards, styluses are just a bad way to control video games, I'm sorry. That will never change. It's like, if you asked me to rank the best ways to play video games, I'd say it's Keyboard and Mouse > Controller > Sylus > Motion Controls. I'm probably forgetting a way or two, but it doesn't matter, I'm sure you get the point. The only thing this game brought us that people tend to like is Linebeck, who is a fun character... but that's it. Even the main villain of the game is sort of lame, he's just a big squid monster. That isn't the worst-looking final boss in the series (Vaati's abstract eyeball form is worse), but I mean... if it's between things like this, and Ganondorf for the eight-hundredth time, I'll take Ganondorf. Like, I'm sorry, I can't imagine anyone ever saying "Phantom Hourglass is in my top 50% of Zelda games," but prove me wrong if you can.
Equipment Rental
Freshly-Picked Tingle's Rosy Rupeeland
Frog's Song of Soul (LA:DX): When I started this up, my parents' dog looked up from her bed, stared at me for a while, and then left the room. Wait a second, is that Wart from SMB2? And Wart was also in a dream. God, the lore is so ****ing deep.
Tadtones: Again, I've said it before, but SS is everything bad about the series. What makes the Tadtones so annoying is that you have to find them as a test to prove you're the true destined hero or whatever, but by this point, you already have equipment that only the true hero can obtain, so you've already proven it. SS has more "prove you're the hero" tests than ****ing Morrowind. It's made worse by the fact that they're underwater and scattered over an extremely large area, and a lot of them move, but the real kicker is how unnecessary it is. It's not presented as "only the Tadtones can open the door forward," it's just "I want to be sure you're the real hero, and only he could find music note-shaped tadpoles."
Demise
Zelda Timeline

I Coveted That Wind
Link (Soul Calibur II)
The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time
Zelda/Sheik in Smash
Midna
Legend of Zelda (Theme)
Link (GameFAQs)
Gerudo Valley (Theme)

Good!
Cadence of Hyrule
Master Sword
Princess Zelda (Spirit Tracks)
Koji Kondo
The Legend of Zelda: Majora's Mask
Gerudo Outfit (BotW)
The Missing Link
Goron
Hookshot
Hearts
CD-I Cutscenes
Legend of Zelda (Name)
Great Fairies
Skull Kid
Going Straight to Castle Hyrule in BotW
Japanese Link to the Past commercial

Hey, Listen!
The Legend of Zelda: The Wind Waker
Z3R
Bongo Bongo
Anju/Kafei Quest
Magnet Gloves
BotW Cooking Jingle
Hestu's Gift
Stone Tower Temple
Linkle
Second Quest
Great Bay Temple
Heroic Fantasy
The Legend of Zelda: Link's Awakening
Link, the Silent Protagonist
The Legend of Zelda: A Link to the Past
The Legend of Zelda: Oracle of Seasons/Ages
Groose
Ghirahim
Medli
Saria
Well ExcuuuuUUUUuuuuuuUUUUuuUuuuUUUUse Me, Princess!
Jeremy
Hyrule Warriors

I'm so Hungry, I could eat an Octorok!
Kirby (Link's Awakening): As a kid, I didn't know what Kirby was, so I just interpreted this as a random round enemy. My knowledge of Nintendo characters really expanded when I played Smash 64. Man, how low has Kirby fallen, that he needs to moonlight as a basic enemy in Zelda games now? Though, I guess LA is just a dream, right? So, it makes sense that Link would vaguely dream about one of his hero friends as an enemy. God, between this and Wart, LA has truly the deepest lore. I also appreciate how the Wiki had to pluralize his name as "Kirbies." I kind of like the idea of Nintendo characters occasionally showing up in each other's games, but I'll say this: it's funny that Mario is a huge name, so Mario representation is just some goombas. Kirby, though, he's not as popular as Mario, so he needs to trek out there and actually show up himself. Do you get what I'm saying?
Ganon's Tower (LttP)
The Mask Salesman
Tetra
The Moon
Door Charge Old Man: It's a little funny. This reminds me of in RPGs, the tendency to have like a character early on criticize you for RPG behavior, then it's never brought up again. Like KotOR1, if you raid a guy's apartment, he'll complain about you being a thief... and then you can raid every apartment you see for the rest of the game, no problems. Same thing with Hrothgar's chest in the five five minutes of IWD1. Like, it's a funny thing to have a subversion of expectations one time, but mildly funny is all it is.
Gleeokenspiel
Sidon

I'm so Hungry, I could eat an Octorok!
Ganon's Tower (LttP)
The Mask Salesman
Tetra
The Moon: The scary face that keeps getting closer, the sheer hatred in its eyes for no reason... pretty good, eh? Like, obviously everyone in the world knows about the "man in the moon" illusion in real life, so they just made it more explicit and obvious here. It's a really good ugly scary face, but I wonder if the effect would be as strong with just a normal moon. Like, there's no reason why it has a scary face, is there? That's not part of the deep lore. Why does it look like that?
Gleeokenspiel
Sidon
Twilight Princess: I remember before this game came out, everyone was like "oh man, this is going to be THE game of the century, this is going to redefine everything, this is going to be the greatest game ever made." It gets an 8.8/10 on GameSpot, and people flame the hell out of the writer, because it's just not possible for the game to be anything short of a masterpiece. And then it comes out, and... it's fine. It's perfectly, serviceably fine. It does have one of my favorite sequences in the series, which I won't say in case someone nominates it, but goddamn, is TP ever the most disappointing Zelda game. It's nowhere near the worst, but no one expected great things from PH. It's almost frustratingly mediocre, and it's extra frustrating, because its mediocrity is probably why the series pivoted away AGAIN from the bleaker tone of OoT and MM and now permanently oscillates between silly and epic. Don't believe me? I'll list the games after TP. Silly: PH, ST, LBW, TFH. Epic: BotW, TotK. Combo: SS. 2006 was the last time we had a dark Zelda title. And I'm not even saying I prefer the dark titles, I'm just saying that we lost an entire tone of Zelda game because of this game's failure to achieve. And then on top of that, like, I know that every Zelda game is basically the same thing in terms of how you interact with the world (until BotW), but goddamn, this game comes as close as it can to just remaking OoT. But unlike, say, LttP, which is also basically just a remake of LoZ, TP doesn't do anything better than OoT. It tries to be darker and more epic, but it fails to be more exciting and engaging. The only thing it has over OoT is Midna. That's it. Everything else is either as good as or worse than its OoT equivalent. And like, I've said before that I don't play these games for their deep characterization, but is this the worst version of Zelda? Not counting the older games on the NES and SNES, I mean. This Zelda is so reserved and barely interacts with you at all, the five seconds you spend with kid Zelda in OoT give her infinitely more character. Even the fight with Ganondorf is less epic. He's like "I'll finish you once and for all, Link," and pulls out this badass sword, and it's like... this is less engaging than not only the OoT fight, but probably all of the previous Ganon fights, isn't it? I don't know, this game feels like an obligation. Like Nintendo felt obligated to make another OoT after the mixed reception WW got, but their hearts weren't in it.
Rolling in Ocarina of Time
Temple (Smash Stage): This is both the best and worst stage in Smash. It's like the largest stage ever (yeah, yeah, I'm sure something else is technically larger), but it's huge both horizontally and vertically. It's got so many little "locations" in it that make it basially impossible to kill someone, or alternatively, way too easy to kill yourself by accident. I don't think I've ever had a game in this stage against human players that didn't instnatly turn into stalling. I think this is the ultimate stall stage, right? Because if you're fast and light, it's in your interest to play keepaway and only take potshots, and if you big and defensive, it's in your interest to try to keep the enemy in the middle or top of the stage. And god forbid if your enemy is someone with a lot of vertical movement who can go from the very bottom platform to the top. I can't count how many times I've hit someone with an ostensibly OHKO move, only for them to bounce in the middle of the stage so many times that they're just fine at the end. This stage isn't pure chaos, like Big Blue, but it's something similar. Definitely not a stage of skill, but a stage of... something.
Stamina
Companions
Colgera's Boss Theme
The Legend of Zelda: The Minish Cap
Using Ocarina of Time to speedrun Paper Mario
Ezlo
Dragon Roost Island (Music)
Ricky, Moosh, and Dimitri
Malo Mart
Drgn roost island
Weapon Durability
Bug-Catching Net
The Legend of Zelda: Spirit Tracks
Gameboy Zelda Aesthetic
The Legend of Zelda (Rabbit Joint)
Link Gets Bullied

Well ExcuuuuUUUUuuuuuuUUUUuuUuuuUUUUse Me, Princess!
Epona
Vaati
Squid-Hunt (Minigame): It's just Battleship, isn't it? God, remember when they made a Battleship movie, heavily advertised Liam Neeson, and then he's in it for ten seconds? Probably not. I may be the only person on Earth who remembers that movie. This is something I like about the big epic game series, is that they can occasionally mix things up with silly minigames. Still, nothing Zelda has can compete with Triple Triad. That and Blitzball are probably the best minigames in any game, ever.
Nintendo Power LttP Comics
David Jr.
Zant
Makar
Kass
5000 Rupee Heart Piece in MM
Gohma
xenosaga's Impulse Link/Epona Figure
Legend of Zelda (NES)
Frostare
Nintendo Cereal System
Ancient Cistern
Triforce Heroes: This is another game that was intended to be multiplayer, but I played it solo, and there was really nothing to say about it. It's not even bad or anything, like I put it on a low tier, but to be clear, there are very few things in Zelda that are atrocious, this isn't like the Star Trek or Final Fantasy rankings where the low tiers are for truly awful things. Like, it's not a bad idea, the idea of a fashion-based adventure, but there's not much to this game, is there? It's like the perfect game to play for a week, and then forget about.
Rod of Seasons
Zelda Kirby
Fishing Minigame (OoT): There has never been a good fishing minigame, ever. There have only been tolerable ones. I'm sure they're very easy to program, and I understand why you might want some kind of slow-paced minigame to break things up, but I've just never enjoyed them in any game. I've never played a full game about fishing, either, so it might very well be that I just hate fishing games entirely. I got my fishing to 300 during Covid in WoW Classic, though. Also, who the hell is trekking out to Lake Hylia to fish? I'm sure the real estate is cheap, but there is no way this place is getting any traffic, the nearest town is literally on the other corner of Hyrule Field, the Goron town is even farther away, and Castle Town is an undead nightmare. I guess the Zora have easy access to Hyrule Lake, and I guess fishing might be a novelty to them, but their city's been frozen for however long. Actually, that's a good question, when did Zora's Domain get frozen over exactly? Seven years is a large window.
Forced Stealth Sections
King Harkinan
Heart Pieces Locked Behind Bad Minigames
Zelda II: The Adventure of Link

You've Met with a Terrible Fate
Equipment Rental
Freshly-Picked Tingle's Rosy Rupeeland
Demise
Zelda Timeline

I Coveted That Wind
Link (Soul Calibur II)
The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time
Zelda/Sheik in Smash
Midna
Legend of Zelda (Theme)
Link (GameFAQs)
Gerudo Valley (Theme)

Good!
Cadence of Hyrule
Master Sword: Eleven games out of twenty. The Master Sword only shows up 55% of the time, and according to the Wiki, not even that. It goes out of its way to specify that the Master Sword in OoX isn't the real one, but is just an upgraded Noble Sword by Farore that is similar to the real one. Thanks, Zelda Wiki editors! So, this sword appears 45% of the time, and yet, it's the definitive video game weapon. I cannot think of a single other weapon in any other video game that could represent video game weapons as a whole, aside from maybe the Buster Sword. And it's so simple! This goes back to what I was saying, that Link is intentionally designed to have no traits at all beyond being a generic hero character, and in that vein, his weapon needs to have no traits at all beyond being a generic hero's weapon, so it's just a sword with a blue hilt. This is the perfect embodiment of heroism in weapon form, and for what it needs to be, the Master Sword achieves that flawlessly. Poor other swords, though. Every time Link gets the Master Sword, whatever his previous sword was that took him on his journey just disappears, completely forgotten about. I also kind of like how in OoT, it's not the strongest sword. Like, Biggoron is just a guy, and he can make a better sword than it, but his version doesn't have god magic attached, so it can't banish evil or whatever. That makes complete sense.
Princess Zelda (Spirit Tracks)
Koji Kondo
The Legend of Zelda: Majora's Mask
Gerudo Outfit (BotW)
The Missing Link
Goron
Hookshot
Hearts
CD-I Cutscenes
Legend of Zelda (Name)
Great Fairies
Skull Kid
Going Straight to Castle Hyrule in BotW
Japanese Link to the Past commercial

Hey, Listen!
The Legend of Zelda: The Wind Waker
Z3R
Bongo Bongo
Anju/Kafei Quest: Ah, the perfect encapsulation of MM's tone: silly stuff juxtaposed with dark tragedy. It's funny how Kafei can just end everything at any point, but refuses to because he doesn't want to admit he lost his wife's mask, so you have to go to completely insane ends, traveling all across the world, to help him. And the culmination of your hard work? Tatl commenting that they look more like mother and child, even though Kafei is 12 and Anju is like 18. I really like how finishing this quest requires you to wait until the last possible second, too. The world is literally about to end, and Kafei bursts in to show that he really does love Anju. What happens if you don't deliver the note to Anju saying to stay? I hope you get a scene where she's just not there and Kafei is depressed. Such an odd "ultimate" quest, too. Most of the quests in the game are about helping someone overcome some personal problem they have, and the biggest, most epic one is basically about a guy who lost his wedding ring. Like, that's the thing, Anju does not care that Kafei was cursed to look like a little kid, and Kafei knows she won't care. I have never actually finished this quest without checking a GameFAQs guide, by the way.
Magnet Gloves
BotW Cooking Jingle
Hestu's Gift
Stone Tower Temple
Linkle
Second Quest
Great Bay Temple
Heroic Fantasy
The Legend of Zelda: Link's Awakening
Link, the Silent Protagonist
The Legend of Zelda: A Link to the Past
The Legend of Zelda: Oracle of Seasons/Ages
Groose
Ghirahim
Medli
Saria
Well ExcuuuuUUUUuuuuuuUUUUuuUuuuUUUUse Me, Princess!
Jeremy
Hyrule Warriors

azuarc posted...

I hated being on a timer in an adventure game where you're supposed to explore. I hated that certain things only happen at certain times, which forces you to sit around burning up your precious time waiting for it. I hated that you basically make no progress and then everything resets. I hated the stupid deku scrub form that was the only one I had for a while. I hated how unwelcoming the game felt in terms of game design. (And world design, but that's not important.) I hated a lot of the obnoxious puzzles. I hated the characters, none of whom I connected to at all. I hated the skill selection I had at my disposal compared to OoT.

Basically, I hated everything.

It's become almost meme-status at this point because it's been so long that I just blot the game out and can't remember the details. You'll recall that I won the GotD2 contest. I would have won GotD1, as well, if I hadn't hated this game, because I was only one of two people in the guru to pick a Zelda game and it would have been this one if I thought it wasn't the most abominable thing ever. (I went with Twilight Princess instead.)

This is also the spiciest of takes, I had no idea anyone on B8 hated it at all. Can't dispute your points, but I still enjoy the game.

WazzupGenius00 posted...

The Old Man who takes your money for breaking his door

I have no memory of what this is.

Weapon Durability: People complained about this a lot, but like... are you nuts? If this didn't exist, there would be no incentive to really explore weird nooks and crannies, and you'd just want to sneak through some high level area early on, grab the ultimate sword of ass-stabbing, and then blast through the game. That's already sort of the easiest way to play the game. The only exception I'll allow is the Master Sword, I would have been fine with that being properly infinite use instead of the stupid recharge thing they have.
Bug-Catching Net
The Legend of Zelda: Spirit Tracks
Gameboy Zelda Aesthetic
The Legend of Zelda (Rabbit Joint)
Link Gets Bullied: I didn't expect that ending. 15 years ago, huh? It's always weird to me when I discover some ancient internet thing that people knew about, but that somehow passed me by. 2008, goddamn. Goddamn. I'm so damn old.
Four Swords Adventures: I only played this alone, I assume the multiplayer experience is very different. It's fine. It's fine. There's almost nothing else to say. I can imagine how different it is if you play with a friend, but I didn't, so it feels more like a short series of random stupid dungeons with simplistic item usages rather than a coherent experience. This is a weird analogy, but this feels like the Icewind Dale to the normal games' Baldur's Gates, if you've played them. I have no idea how popular BG and IWD are on Board 8.

Well ExcuuuuUUUUuuuuuuUUUUuuUuuuUUUUse Me, Princess!
Epona: Epona to me is evidence that people can get attached to anything. Epona is the most nothing aspect of the series. "There's a big field you need to run around in a lot, so let's give Link a horse." That's it. Epona isn't some magical superhorse, last of the great horse lords like Shadowfax. She's literally just a random horse you steal, to go through a field that's not even that large. Like, how bizarre is it that OoT is the game that introduces her? I'm pretty sure that the time you spend obtaining her is significantly longer than the time you spend riding her from place to place. Like, I don't mind Epona at all, but I much prefer her just being a random horse that a random Link used once, and other Links teaming up with kangaroos or giant lizards or giant birds. Has Link ever teamed up with a dolphin? Let's have a tropical island adventure where Epona reincarnates as a dolphin, and you ride around by grabbing her fin and being dragged along uncontrollably, I'm on board with that.
Vaati
Nintendo Power LttP Comics
David Jr.
Zant: To me, Zant is the definitive "fake new villain who's just working for the series' main villain" villain. Like, they introduce this weird new guy with his own cool design and powers and motives, and then he's just pushed aside halfway through the game so Ganondorf can come back. Like, yes, I like Ganondorf more than Zant, but it's okay to not use Ganondorf. Especially when they're both evil shadow wizards! At least the big armor guy in the Oracle games is a big guy in armor. So, Zant's only value in the game is as a foil to... Midna? I don't know what to tell you, Zant is sort of emblematic of his game. Not terrible, but really just a big disappointment.
Makar
Kass
5000 Rupee Heart Piece in MM
Gohma
xenosaga's Impulse Link/Epona Figure
Legend of Zelda (NES)
Frostare
Nintendo Cereal System
Ancient Cistern
Rod of Seasons
Zelda Kirby: Look, in the grand scheme of Kirby Smash hats, this is unremarkable. The good ones are when Kirby has some kind of REALLY unique element from the character that makes him look like he's really from the game, like Steve, WFT, G&W, or when the hat is very large and interesting to look at, like Samus, or is just funny, like Snake. But when it's just the character's hair or a small hat? I have no interest in that. Zelda's is at least a little easier to distinguish at a distance, since it's very long and bright, unlike the Fire Emblem characters' hair. Probably the worst are the Fire Emblem characters' (sans Corrin's, which, although I'm not thrilled at Corrin's inclusion, is at least very easy to distinguish at a distance), King K. Rool's, Rosalina's, Ness', Fox's, Jigglypuff's, Mewtwo's, Peach's, and Donkey Kong's, but Zelda's isn't exactly a winner, either. And I can't believe that Link's hat is still the floppy green hat when that's no longer his default look. And don't you dare say that that's Link's iconic outfit, because his Wario hat is the Warioware one. It's especially bad because the three Link hats are completely identical, I'm watching a Kirby hat video right now, and I can't tell the difference even looking at them. Yoshi's is lame, too, but at least it's easy to see. I don't know how I feel about him shouting "Pikachu" when using Thunder Bolt, since the reason Pikachu does that is that pokemon can only say their own name, it's not like a Falcon Punch deal. I'm not sure if I'd prefer him grunting or shouting "Kirby" instead. I also really like how stupid his Squirtle hat is, so I'll give him points for that one, too. Basically, the Zelda hat is possibly the most boring and unremarkable one of them all? It might actually be and OH GOD WHAT, Squidling Kirby's gun shoots blue? How do you screw that up? Of course it should shoot pink, goddamn, are you a madman, Sakurai?
Forced Stealth Sections
King Harkinan
Heart Pieces Locked Behind Bad Minigames
Zelda II: The Adventure of Link

You've Met with a Terrible Fate
Equipment Rental
Freshly-Picked Tingle's Rosy Rupeeland
Demise
Zelda Timeline

I Coveted That Wind
Link (Soul Calibur II)
The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time
Zelda/Sheik in Smash
Midna
Legend of Zelda (Theme): Do doooo do do do do do dooooooooo do dooooooo do do do doooooo do do do do do do dooooooo do do do do do doooooooo do do do do do dooooooo do do duhduhduhduhduhduhduh do do do dooooo. Is this the best main theme for a game series? I think it might be. This and Punch-Out are definitely the best main themes for series represented in Smash (Bloody Tears isn't the main theme, and in any case, it's only strong for 9 seconds). It's definitely better than the main themes for Final Fantasy and MGS. Like, this theme just SCREAMS fantasy adventure, it's so good. However, despite it being so good, it was wise for BotW to dispense with it and do its own thing.
Link (GameFAQs)
Gerudo Valley (Theme): Call me basic, but I'm going there: this is the best Zelda song, and it has been since 1998. I don't know anything about music, so I can't really explain why it's so good, I just know what I like, and this is it. It doesn't have the main theme's adventurous feeling, it doesn't have the wacky energy of the windmill song, it doesn't have the morose tone of a lot of other OoT/MM music, but it just sounds good, y'know? "Why is it lower than the main Zelda theme, then?" Because while this is the most pleasant song in the series, the main theme just gives off better vibes for what it's meant to be. Does that make sense? Oh well, it's my list, I can be arbitrary and nonsensical if I want.

Good!
Cadence of Hyrule
Princess Zelda (Spirit Tracks)
Koji Kondo
The Legend of Zelda: Majora's Mask
Gerudo Outfit (BotW)
The Missing Link
Goron
Hookshot
Hearts
CD-I Cutscenes
Legend of Zelda (Name)
Great Fairies
Skull Kid
Going Straight to Castle Hyrule in BotW
Japanese Link to the Past commercial

Hey, Listen!
The Legend of Zelda: The Wind Waker
Z3R
Bongo Bongo
Magnet Gloves
BotW Cooking Jingle
Hestu's Gift
Stone Tower Temple
Linkle
Second Quest
Great Bay Temple
Heroic Fantasy
The Legend of Zelda: Link's Awakening
Link, the Silent Protagonist
The Legend of Zelda: A Link to the Past
The Legend of Zelda: Oracle of Seasons/Ages
Groose
Ghirahim
Medli
Saria
Well ExcuuuuUUUUuuuuuuUUUUuuUuuuUUUUse Me, Princess!
Jeremy
Hyrule Warriors
Ganon's Tower (LttP)
The Mask Salesman
Tetra: Tetra was the first attempt to make Zelda an actual character. I feel completely ashamed of my teenage self for not immediately figuring out that it was Zelda, too. In any case, my opinion of Tetra is the same as everyone's: she's a lot of fun and a great character, then she turns into proper Zelda halfway through the game, and loses everything that makes her interesting... and also her tan. Not sure how that one works. Anyway, am I stupid? "Tetra-" is the prefix for four, right? Does this character have literally anything to do with the number four?
Sidon
Gleeokenspiel: Alright, look, I'll level with you. I didn't know what a glockenspiel is before this game. I looked it up specifically because of this boss. Maybe I'm just super uncultured, but to my eye, it just looks like a xylophone. But this is definitely the best pun in Zelda... a series that isn't really about the puns? I said this before, but this belongs in a Pokemon game, not a Zelda one.
Rolling in Ocarina of Time
Stamina
Companions: Alright, thank you Zelda Wiki page on companions, let's see who we've got here... Ciela, Ezlo, Felicia, Fi, King of Red Lions, Linebeck, Midna, Navi, Proxi, Tatl, and Zelda. Well, we can ignore Felicia for being a manga character, and I don't remember Ciela or Proxi at all. I'm discounting Linebeck, too, because he's not really *with* you while you're adventuring. So, good companions: Ezlo, KoRL, Midna, Tatl, and Zelda. Bad companions: Fi and Navi. You might be thinking that the good companions vastly outnumber the bad ones, but Fi is just SO bad. Like, the idea of Link having a helper who comments on stuff for him (and the audience) is okay. And telling you how to defeat a particular enemy, or giving you a power to use, is good, like the hat in Mario Odyssey or whatever, that's fine. But it's easy to go overboard, when they do, they really do. God, it's interesting how the 'default' companion is a round fairy, isn't it? Like, it makes sense in OoT, because Link is from the forest where everyone has a fairy companion, and it makes sense in MM because he ran through the forest and another of those fairies joined him. But PH and HW still concoct reasons for more fairies to join him. It's like the Terminator franchise inventing increasingly stretched reasons to bring the T-800 back. Anyway, whether a companion is good or bad depends on their writing and how much of it there is (better to have less).
Colgera's Boss Theme
The Legend of Zelda: The Minish Cap
Using Ocarina of Time to speedrun Paper Mario
Ezlo
Dragon Roost Island (Music)
Ricky, Moosh, and Dimitri
Malo Mart
Drgn roost island

azuarc posted...

Have we met? Have you never heard me rail against Majora's Mask? Because I do it regularly and at pretty much every chance I get.

I absolutely LOATHE Majora's Mask. It takes an idea I thought would be cool before they made the game -- because I did have this idea in the 90s beforehand -- and shows me that I probably never would have liked it in practice. Or at least not the implementation we got in MM, because games that came along later pull it off far better than this steaming pile of garbage that is easily the biggest disappointment I've ever experienced in gaming.

I had no idea you hated MM. I assume you dislike the time loop concept? I don't really understand how you can like OoT and hate MM.

Sidon: He's a perfectly well-designed Zora hero guy, no problems there. I like him more than the MM Zora guy you play as. So, he's the Sage of Water, eh? Wouldn't it be funny if just once, the Zora was the Sage of Fire or something, and it was awkward? Maybe not. Look, I don't know what to tell you about this guy, he's just a random guy who helps you during your journey. I remember riding him on the water and shooting arrows at something. Oh wait a second, was Sidon supposed to be 100 years old? I remember him being Mipha's younger brother, and she died like 100 years ago or something, right? Like, I don't really mind it when Link has to get the help of various NPCs from around the world for the finale, ala OoT. That's fine, and Sidon is perfectly fine in that role. I would care about him more if this was like a MM thing where you transform into people, but it's not, so eh.
Rolling in Ocarina of Time
Stamina
Colgera's Boss Theme: I'll allow this, even though I said not to nominate TotK stuff. I'll say this for BotW/TotK, it really nails the epic atmosphere. It really nails the feeling of a grandiose world that Link must explore, the empty feeling of a post-apocalypse, and the feeling of being up against the entire world. This boss theme is an example of that. This is obviously Zelda at its most serious, as opposed to its sillier LA interpretations. But like... I don't really get a specific 'type' of boss feeling from this. There are boss themes that give you a feeling for what the boss might be like, like a very wizardy theme against a wizard, and here, all I'm getting is that it's probably a big epic monster, right?
The Legend of Zelda: The Minish Cap
Using Ocarina of Time to speedrun Paper Mario
Ezlo
Dragon Roost Island (Music)
Ricky, Moosh, and Dimitri: I said this before, but I've only ever used Ricky. I liked him the most as a kid, and I remember looking up how to ensure I'd get him. As an adult, I'm certain I would choose Moosh. Too late now! And yeah, again, early 2000s? This was back when Zelda was willing to do SLIGHTLY weirder things, like not having Ganon be the villain every game. Today, this would all just be Epona. I'm half-surprised SS's bird mount wasn't implied to be Epona's reincarnation. Preincarnation? Eh. Like, I obviously know that BotW lets you ride around on a billion different mounts that aren't Epona, but there's still an "official" Epona mount that's superior to all of the others. Imagine a game with that tone letting you ride around on a kangaroo, it would never happen today.
Malo Mart
Drgn roost island
Bug-Catching Net: I mean... when I think of the definitive Zelda items, this isn't what comes to mind. It's in three games, right? LttP, SS, and LBW. I think I remember it better for being Link's joke weapon in Soul Calibur II, when the joke weapon should have obviously been the Broken Biggorn Sword. God, remember when those games let you just choose between like ten weapons per character, and they all had cool bonuses? Does Soul Calibur even let you still do that? Anyway, I don't have any opinions about this item at all. I've never given a second thought.
The Legend of Zelda: Spirit Tracks
Gameboy Zelda Aesthetic
The Legend of Zelda (Rabbit Joint)

Well ExcuuuuUUUUuuuuuuUUUUuuUuuuUUUUse Me, Princess!
Vaati
Nintendo Power LttP Comics
David Jr.
Makar
Kass
5000 Rupee Heart Piece in MM
Gohma
xenosaga's Impulse Link/Epona Figure
Legend of Zelda (NES)
Frostare
Nintendo Cereal System
Ancient Cistern
Rod of Seasons
Forced Stealth Sections
King Harkinan: He's just so ugly. He's like the most hideous man ever. I guess it makes sense, since the CD-I Princess Zelda is also hideous, but god. Apparently, this is the same name in the CD-I and TV show versions, I was talking about the CD-I version there, but the TV show version apparently "gives Link tips on wooing his daughter." Yeah, okay.
Heart Pieces Locked Behind Bad Minigames
Zelda II: The Adventure of Link

You've Met with a Terrible Fate
Equipment Rental
Freshly-Picked Tingle's Rosy Rupeeland
Demise: To me, Demise represents all of the worst aspects of the series. In design, he's another abstract black blob. In gameplay, he's a big monster man you have to fight like four times, and it's always the same thing (not counting the final fight). And in story, he's all about the deep lore. He's actually worse than Legends Arceus, in a way. Legends Arceus doesn't actually change anything, it's not like the Pokeverse is different for knowing that in the 1800s, there were some dickish clans in Hokkaido fighting with each other. But Demise is a big monster man whom you kill, and he says "lol I'll be back as Ganon in 2/3rds of the games bye." It's like if there was a Mario game where you go back in time and defeat Zowser, and as he dies he turns to his son and says "Bowser, avenge meeeeee" and we're supposed to care about all of the established Mario games through this lens. Like, Demise' final form is even supposed to influence what Ganondorf looks like, I guess? Because he looks just like Ganondorf. All of what I just said also applies to Fi being revealed as the origin of the Master Sword, it's like who even remotely begins to care.
Zelda Timeline

Veto
Apparatus Motion Control Shrines: I don't remember BotW's shrines well enough to rank this, sorry! But it sounds like the problem is that they make it difficult to emulate the game? I'm not that sympathetic.

I Coveted That Wind
Link (Soul Calibur II)
The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time
Zelda/Sheik in Smash
Midna
Link (GameFAQs)

Good!
Cadence of Hyrule
Princess Zelda (Spirit Tracks)
Koji Kondo
The Legend of Zelda: Majora's Mask
Gerudo Outfit (BotW)
The Missing Link
Goron
Hookshot
Hearts
CD-I Cutscenes
Legend of Zelda (Name)
Great Fairies: The, like, implicit super magical world that exists on top of the normal peasant world, that Link interacts with occasionally, having its own like rulers or whatever? Pretty good idea. Every so often, Link's adventure takes him into contact with these ancient magical beings, and they're like "oh you helped me out, okay fine I'll give you some bonus I guess." Like, these fairies are very rarely helping you because they want to defeat Ganondorf or whatever, it's usually because they owe you one. It's the perfect way to represent all of that and to give Link various bonuses and items as he goes along. It's also useful because unlike, say, a blacksmith in a village, a fairy queen can plausibly have any item or magic the game wants to give you. I also like how they change designs with each game. But man, they sure don't seem to care about you bottling their friends and enslaving them until you get killed by a Likelike.
Skull Kid
Going Straight to Castle Hyrule in BotW
Japanese Link to the Past commercial
The Legend of Zelda: The Wind Waker: This was sort of a major turning point for the series. Not because the series became super cheerful and colorful for a while, but because it established that OoT's more serious tone wasn't going to be the official Zelda tone going forward. They tried once more with TP, and then from then on, Zelda was just whatever the individual game felt like being. OoT, MM, and TP are just anomalies, and it's just because OoT was the first 3D game and such a seminal moment for video games in general that people think of it as one of the definitive titles. So, with all of that said, with millions of kids like us who thought of OoT as "the" Zelda title, and for that to be reinforced with MM, for Nintendo to pivot with its first GCN title and make this super cartoony, colorful, and enthusiastic game really angered a lot of people. But, I mean, hey, we're all adults now, so is WW a good game in its own right? Yes. Is it as good as OoT and MM? I don't think so, not really, but you can disagree if you like. There's so much more sailing in this game than there is walking in any other game, except BotW, but BotW makes up for it with lots of stuff to find and manipulate while you walk. Here? Good god, you can sail for five minutes and find nothing but random octoroks. When I played the game as a kid, I somehow missed the wind god guy who gives you the teleport ability, and this being 2002 or whatever, I had no idea you weren't supposed to be sailing from one corner of the map to the other. I guess you can call this an partly-open world game? It SORT OF is. It's almost like an open world game for the sailing portions, but punctuated by small-to-medium-sized islands with linear purposes? I know this game has a ton of ride-or-die fans, but to me, it's just okay. It's pretty good. The only part of the game that really gets me is the final boss and finale, which is the part that everyone likes. It's actually kind of interesting to look at this game as if the theme matters, because like, the whole plot is about Hyrule being destroyed, you're just squatting on what remains, and the last pieces of Old Hyrule (Ganondorf and the king) return. Ganondorf wants to drag things back and keep the old cycle going forever, and the king is like "no bro I'm gonna make sure everyone can move on and pursue new things," and it's like, from that description, you'd think this game would be super dour and depressing. But no, it's the cheeriest, most colorful, happiest game in the series. And then it's undermined again by the sequels where it's just more cycles in the new Hyrule, of course, but I'll forgive that.
Z3R
Bongo Bongo
Magnet Gloves
BotW Cooking Jingle
Hestu's Gift: A great joke item to mock 100% completion people. I didn't even come close to 100% completion, I never even tried. I don't think I even found enough Korok Seeds to max out my inventory. It's also strangely immature for a Zelda title? Like, is this the first poop joke in a major Nintendo game? I remember restroom jokes in Earthbound, I guess, but that's about it.
Stone Tower Temple

Hey, Listen!
Linkle
Second Quest
Great Bay Temple
Heroic Fantasy
The Legend of Zelda: Link's Awakening
Link, the Silent Protagonist
The Legend of Zelda: A Link to the Past
The Legend of Zelda: Oracle of Seasons/Ages
Groose
Ghirahim
Medli
Saria
Well ExcuuuuUUUUuuuuuuUUUUuuUuuuUUUUse Me, Princess!
Jeremy
Hyrule Warriors
Ganon's Tower (LttP)
The Mask Salesman

DragonGargoyle posted...

ALttP Ganon if my favorite portrayal of Ganon/Ganondorf

I love

Monster

And he has some of the same interesting story context here as he does in OoT, while also having the Dark World shaped entirely by his influence, which is interesting to think about. He has a less defined personality here compared to his later appearances as Ganondorf, so on top of having this dope stuff, he's also a source of speculation and "vibes" (idk if that makes sense)

I can see that, okay. I'm still pro-dorf, but I'll accept this as a good reason.

redrocket posted...

Four Swords

Just realized I haven't played this, only FSA, so I can't rank it.

Groose
Ghirahim
Medli
Saria
Well ExcuuuuUUUUuuuuuuUUUUuuUuuuUUUUse Me, Princess!: I said it before, but imagine if this was the direction Nintendo went with for Link. This sarcastic, childish jackass. Like, whose idea even was this? It's so obvously an annoying take on the character, I love it. Was this an attempt at something subversive after the success of the played-much-straighter He-Man? I have no idea.
Jeremy
Hyrule Warriors
Ganon's Tower (LttP): I mean... it's a fairly standard final dungeon, isn't it? It doesn't seem special to me at all. Final dungeons in video games have a very specific kind of feeling to them, and this is it.
The Mask Salesman
Rolling in Ocarina of Time
Stamina: Gets the job done in BotW, I guess. I don't have anything insightful to say about stamina specifically, but since we're talking about BotW, I'll say this. BotW's biggest problem to me isn't the dungeons, which people complain about, it's the lack of what feels like progression. In each Zelda game except BotW, when you get a new item or obtain a macguffin, it feels significant. It feels like you've accomplished something, and your adventure has taken a new turn. BotW's progression is so slow that it never feels like you've had an important moment, just a series of moments where you get incrementally stronger. Upgrading your hearts and stamina are an example of this -- it's always good, but I never once felt like "yeah, I'm closer to fighting Ganon now." The only exception is when you get the Master Sword, that's the only time in the game that feels like a significant moment.
The Legend of Zelda: The Minish Cap
Using Ocarina of Time to speedrun Paper Mario
Ezlo
Dragon Roost Island (Music)
Malo Mart: The... main shop in Twilight Princess? Where you buy the shield? I mean... I don't know if I've ever thought about this store at all after finishing the game. I'm not even sure I thought about it while playing the game. How many shops has Link visited in this series, and you nominated THIS one?
Drgn roost island
The Legend of Zelda: Spirit Tracks
Gameboy Zelda Aesthetic
The Legend of Zelda (Rabbit Joint)

Well ExcuuuuUUUUuuuuuuUUUUuuUuuuUUUUse Me, Princess!
Vaati: Until I looked it up just now, I actually didn't realize that Vaati's first two appearances were in the Four Swords games as just a big monster, and his humanoid form came later. Really following in Ganon's footsteps there, eh? Except where Ganon goes from being a sexy muscular Arab man who shoots dark magic to a giant disgusting pig demon, Vaati goes from being a sexy lithe anime boy who shoots wind magic to an abstract eyeball monster. I mean... does anyone like it when the villain is Ganon, instead of Ganondorf? It's always more interesting to have a human villain than a big monster man. Anyway, Vaati. Look, I like Vaati, but he has no place in the series. He's a sorcerer who gets corrupted by evil and turns into a big monster you need to stab a lot. Do you know who's also a sorcerer who gets corrupted by evil and turns into a big monster you need to stab a lot? Ganondorf. Vaati is just the Daisy to Ganondorf's Peach. If there was like Zelda Kart, and they needed to pad a roster, then maybe you could do something with Vaati. But since the lore of this series is so abstract, and no one really cares that much when a game is set, you can always just have Ganondorf show up, so what purpose does Vaati serve? I'll tell you what he can do. He could be in Smash. Zelda as a series has six Smash characters, three of which are Link, two of which are Zelda, and one of which is a Captain Falcon clone. I don't mind Zelda having fewer characters than Mario and Pokemon, that's fine, I agree with that. But ****ing Fire Emblem has EIGHT characters. I know that Vaati will never be in Smash, of course. His only humanoid appearance is in a GBA title from 2004 that no one particularly cares about. Was it a GBA game, or a DS one? I don't even remember. I'm sorry if you're ride-or-die for this character, it's never going to happen. Vaati is just the most significant of the early 2000s bad guys from when Nintendo was willing to experiment a little more with villains who weren't Ganondorf, alongside Skull Kid, Sexy Sorceress Lady, and Big Armor Guy Whose Name No One Remembers. Eventually, Nintendo realized that every villain who isn't Ganondorf is pointless, and they just stopped showing up. Do you know the last game to not have Ganon, Ganondorf, alternate dimension Ganondorf, or a clone of Ganon as the main villain? 2015 Triforce Heroes' Lady Maud, a character I have literally no memory of, and had to look up. Before her, it was 2007 Phantom Hourglass' Bellum. Although, the Zelda Wiki says Yuga is the counterpart of Agahnim and not Ganondorf? I don't know if I buy that, he looks way more like Ganondorf. I want opinions, weigh in here and tell me if Yuga looks more like Ganondorf or Agahnim. Anyway, to be clear, I have nothing against Vaati, but he's just a pointless interlude between Ganon appearances. He feels almost like someone's OC.
Nintendo Power LttP Comics
David Jr.
Makar
Kass
5000 Rupee Heart Piece in MM: I mean, it's annoying, but if you're diligent about things, you'll just get this as you play. I agree it should have been way less, though. Like 2000 would be fine.
Gohma
xenosaga's Impulse Link/Epona Figure
Legend of Zelda (NES)
Frostare
Nintendo Cereal System
Ancient Cistern
Rod of Seasons
Forced Stealth Sections
Heart Pieces Locked Behind Bad Minigames: It's always annoying. I've never gotten max hearts in any game in the series. There will always be at least one heart that's just too much of a pain in the ass to bother with. The most annoying minigame I'm willing to deal with is probably bombchu bowling. Maybe a little more than that, but not by much.
Zelda II: The Adventure of Link

You've Met with a Terrible Fate
Equipment Rental
Zelda Timeline: I hate the Zelda timeline for two reasons. The first is that it's pointless and stupid. Zelda lore is second only to Mario lore in the list of things you shouldn't care about at all. Like, all the Zelda timeline needs to be is a very vague draft of random stupid adventures Link, Zelda, and Ganondorf have over the eons. That's it. Trying to backtrack and tack deep lore onto an existing series decades after it started, when the start of the series was just "you're an elf, go stop a pig demon from taking over the world," is just annoying. Every time they try to expand the Zelda lore, I'm just annoyed. It's like when Pokemon made an entire game about Arceus to expand the deep pokelore, and it's nothing but cutscenes, and it's like oh my god I don't care, this isn't what I play Pokemon for at all. The second reason I hate the timeline is that it's just terrible. It's funny to talk with your friends and speculate about where each game should go on a timeline, whether Link is reincarnating or the same guy each time (put to bed by WW, admittedly), and so on. But when Nintendo publishes its own official timeline, and it's got like three branching paths, and then BotW enters the picture, it's like, you made this as convoluted as possible to no one's benefit, and removed the ability to speculate for fun.
Freshly-Picked Tingle's Rosy Rupeeland

I Coveted That Wind
Link (Soul Calibur II)
The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time
Zelda/Sheik in Smash
Midna
Link (GameFAQs)

Good!
Cadence of Hyrule
Princess Zelda (Spirit Tracks)
Koji Kondo
The Legend of Zelda: Majora's Mask
Gerudo Outfit (BotW): I'm assuming you mean the sequence where Link dresses up as a Gerudo to infiltrate their city in BotW. I'm going to be a huge hypocrite here and contradict myself, I know I made a huge deal earlier of wanting Link to have no strong personality traits and to never really display emotions, but having him have to do this and act all embarrassed like Cloud in FFVII is a great idea. It's one of the most fun and memorable parts of the game, too. I wonder... was this like a very belated response to MM? Because if you play OoT and MM close to each other, like probably all of us did as kids, you'll definitely notice how OoT introduces Dekus, Gorons, Zora, and Gerudo, and MM lets you play as a Deku, a Goron, a Zora, and... that's it. As a kid, I wondered if this was a conscious choice, like they didn't want Link to turn into a girl, or if it was just laziness on the developers' part, because the transformation mask you get in the fourth area is the Giant's Mask, which you use exactly once in the entire game. I still don't REALLY know what motivated them not to include the obvious Gerudo Mask, so I wonder if that influenced the Gerudo sequence in BotW. But then, like, Triforce Heroes already established Link as just wearing princess outfits and being fine with it! Ah well, I really like how the Gerudo buy it, like Link is not only obviously a boy, but he's also half their height, doesn't have red hair, and is way paler than them. I unironically enjoy garbage disguises that NPCs just accept.
The Missing Link
Goron
Hookshot
Hearts: It's so stupid. Like, obviously the hearts are just HP. Each heart is 4 HP, and you can have, say, 20 hearts maximum in most games, so you have a maximum of 80 HP. But making it into cartoony hearts instead of just a clear number, I don't know, it definitely lends SOMETHING to the games. It's hard to express in words, because it's obviously more of a feeling, but the hearts really help disguise the fact that this is all just a video game, like the hearts more represent your life rather than life meter, if that makes sense? And imagine what the life pickup would be if not a heart. Would it be a fairy? Would it just be a piece of food? Is there an alternate dimension out there where Link's health pickup is a riceball? I can easily imagine that.
CD-I Cutscenes
Legend of Zelda (Name): Many people have made jokes about how the name of the series makes no sense, since the games are undeniably about Link. Zelda can charitably be called the third most important person in the series, and even that's not certain. But it's a great name. That Z really lends the title a little pizzazz that "The Legend of Link" doesn't. I know that Zelda is a real name, and Link isn't, and the more fantastical names usually lend themselves better to being in fantasy titles, and yet... "The Legend of Zelda" still sounds better, sorry. Great name. Instantly tells me that this is going to be some kind of fantasy title, if nothing else.
Skull Kid
Going Straight to Castle Hyrule in BotW
Japanese Link to the Past commercial
Z3R
Bongo Bongo
Magnet Gloves
BotW Cooking Jingle
Stone Tower Temple

Hey, Listen!
Linkle
Second Quest: Great idea to extend the game and give players another challenge. I feel like this would be a much better-remembered aspect of the series, though, if it existed in more than three games. This honestly ought to be a standard part of the series! Like, every game (except maybe Triforce Heroes) should have this as an option. It cannot possibly be THAT difficult and time-consuming to add.
Great Bay Temple
Heroic Fantasy
The Legend of Zelda: Link's Awakening
Link, the Silent Protagonist
The Legend of Zelda: A Link to the Past
The Legend of Zelda: Oracle of Seasons/Ages: I'll just say right off the bat, making these companion games was a great idea. It's better than the way Pokemon does it, where I have never once felt a compulsion to play the opposite version of a Pokemon game. Here, it's legitimately one gigantic game split into two pieces, so you, a dumbass kid in 2001, want to play them both. Is this also the last major game of all time to prominently use a password system? I remember reading about this game online a few years after its release, where Nintendo desperately wanted to find a way not to use the complicated password system, but couldn't find any other way to transfer data on just one Gameboy. Basically, the way I view these games is simple: they're just more LA. The mechanics are exactly the same, but each game has one reverse world (I've said this before, but Zelda has more reverse worlds than I think any other game series in history). That's it! I also like how the games have their own unique villains, even if things ultimately just degenerate into more Ganon shenanigans. Here, I really like how Ganon is revived from death incorrectly, and is just a rampaging monster you have to stop. Imagine this from Link's perspective, though. You're just a random incarnation of Link, you have no real understanding of the convoluted timeline or legacy you're part of, and you just want to stop an evil sexy sorceress from taking over the world, and then two crones fly in and resurrect a pig demon who goes crazy because his brain doesn't work correctly. Imagine that happening without the audience's greater context. Poor Link.

Link, the Silent Protagonist: You know, I'm going to be a huge hypocrite here. Normally, I don't like silent protagonists, but I'm just going to grandfather clause Link into being allowed. I'm fine with it for Link because, and I can't say this enough times, Link isn't a real character. Link is less of a character than like Mario; they're both just avatars for the idea of a hero. They're as simplistic as possible on purpose. If you want an example of what Link would be like if he was a real character, then you'd want to look at like Luke Skywalker, he's a good example. But Link himself? Not a real character, he's just a body for you to control, and in that regard, it makes sense for him to never speak or really show much emotion beyond righteous fury or whatever. That's probably why WW Link stands out so much; he actually shows emotions and even says words ("Come on!").
The Legend of Zelda: A Link to the Past
Groose
Ghirahim
Medli
Saria
Jeremy: Look, I promise to play TotK at some point. I can see that the point of the game is to make silly vehicles. God, remember Half-Life's physics? Remember how those were groundbreaking? I remember in 2002, reading someone on Board 8 talking about how the NPCs in Morrowind could turn their heads to face you as you walked by, and how games could never get more realistic than this, this was the best we'd ever have. And now, a Zelda game of all things can semi-accurately simulate things like weight distribution.
Hyrule Warriors
The Mask Salesman: As the only returning OoT character in MM besides Link (Zelda's flashback doesn't count), the Mask Salesman is just so... creepy. Everything about him just screams that something is wrong, like he's the embodiment of the guy who offers you candy to get into his van. And the handful of times he loses it and makes a scary face, it's great. You never learn what his ****ing deal is, just that he obviously is into some scary magical stuff and takes care of dangerous masks, and his very presence in the game raises questions about his actions as an unimportant sidequest giver in OoT. They did the right thing by never explaining anything about him.
Rolling in Ocarina of Time
The Legend of Zelda: The Minish Cap
Using Ocarina of Time to speedrun Paper Mario
Ezlo
Dragon Roost Island (Music)
Drgn roost island
The Legend of Zelda: Spirit Tracks
Gameboy Zelda Aesthetic: When I think of the Zelda series, I think of three distinct styles. 1. Semi-realistic and dark (OoT, MM, TP). 2. Colorful cel-shaded and happy (WW and so on). 3. The 2D overhead spritework. I obviously know that there are games that don't fit into this, like AoL, and games that tried to update one of the previous and sort of failed (LBW), and games that ride the line between two of them (BotW), but mostly this is how I conceive of the series' aesthetic, as opposed to Mario, which has a very strong, definite visual style that it basically never deviates from except for very specific spin-offs like Paper Mario. The Gameboy aesthetic is obviously a variation of the 2D overhead version, with the Gameboy/Color limitations in mind, and it's... pretty good. It's different from LttP and its ilk not just because of the graphical limitations, but also because the games are actively sillier on purpose (compare OoX Impa to any other version, or OoX mounts to Epona, etc).
The Legend of Zelda (Rabbit Joint)

Does it Really Make Everybody... Happy?
Nintendo Power LttP Comics: I skimmed through these for this topic, and they're... fine. They're exactly what I expect from a 1992 tie-in comic. I can't possibly imagine anything less 'exactly what you expect' than this, even down to the particulars of the art style. All I'll really say is this: OoT turning the main villain from a demon pig into a sexy green-skinned Arab man was a good decision. Ganon was always just a discount Bowser, there, I said it. And we already have discount Bowser, his name is King K. Rool! And even within Mario itself, there's already ANOTHER discount Bowser in the form of Wart. So when I read this comic, and Ganon is just a big pig monster who has no particular goals beyond being evil, yeah, you know what, Ganondorf > Ganon. The classics aren't always right. Ganon is a good idea as Ganondorf's like monster form he turns into when he gets too corrupted by evil magic or whatever, but I vastly prefer human Ganondorf... is he human? Are Hylians human? Are Gerudo?
David Jr.
Makar
Kass
Gohma: To me, Gohma is the definitive first boss of video games. When I think of the first boss you have to fight, who's like harder than standard enemies and is there to force you to understand the game mechanics and not just power your way through, I think of Gohma... even though Gohma is only the first boss in one game. And again, this is such a good example of the Zelda aesthetic. How many fantasy games have giant spiders? They're like the most common enemy after skeletons. But Gohma is like this disgusting one-eyed spider-scorpion, like God, it's fantastic. Such a masterfully-designed enemy, at least from a visual perspective... from OoT-on, that is. You look at the earlier versions of Gohma from the older titles and it's like yeesh, I could draw a better spider monster.
xenosaga's Impulse Link/Epona Figure
Legend of Zelda (NES)
Nintendo Cereal System
Ancient Cistern: Alright, look, the aesthetic of this dungeon is okay. Lots of colorful clockwork areas juxtaposed with dark spooky caves. That's fine. But like... how many times have we seen this by now? This is the eight-hundredth Zelda title, you need something REALLY special to stand out in your dungeons. I won't tell you my favorite dungeon or boss (they're from different games, anyway), but neither is from SS. I guess... I guess what I can say about the Ancient Cistern is that it's like the Platonic ideal of a video game dungeon, you know? Ancient technology, big pirate chests to open, spooky caves, the only thing it's missing is skeletons laying on the ground that wake up when you get too close to a door. Those are in OoT, though. By the way, don't ask me to remember the gameplay details of a dungeon I played through forever ago. That game was for the ****ing Wii, give me a break. I do like the boss of this dungeon, though, this big robot guy with a bunch of arms. Although, honestly, if SS is meant to be the FIRST Zelda title, it could have done with not having ancient forgotten super technology, I'm just saying.
Rod of Seasons
Frostare: I had to look this one up. I mean, I played FSA, so I must have fought this thing, but it obviously left zero impression on me. Why are eyeballs such common monsters in fantasy games? Eyeballs are like the least intimidating part of a person or animal. They're like the most common weakpoint in real life! There is zero reason for eyeballs to be this common as enemies. And like... I'm sorry, but Zelda enemies aren't usually named for puns. This is the name you would give to an icy eyeball in Pokemon, the Zelda version should be like ANCLOPS: MYSTICAL OPTICAL OCTOPUS, and be an eyeball with eight tentacles or something.

Well ExcuuuuUUUUuuuuuuUUUUuuUuuuUUUUse Me, Princess!
Forced Stealth Sections
Zelda II: The Adventure of Link
Equipment Rental

You've Met with a Terrible Fate
Freshly-Picked Tingle's Rosy Rupeeland

I Coveted That Wind
Link (Soul Calibur II)
The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time
Zelda/Sheik in Smash
Midna
Link (GameFAQs): Link is both the ultimate face and heel for this site's contests. It's always exciting whenever anyone gets 33% on Link, that makes them the moral victor by default. It's almost unfair, you know? The average age of this site is older than most other video game-related websites, so the victor of the contests is always going to be whomever was most relevant in 1999 and still relevant today, which is always going to be Link. It will never not be Link, not unless the FFVII remakes propel Cloud back into global consciousness (unlikely). But even though Link is the ultimate villain for the contests, rooting for him against Draven was one of the greatest moments in contest history. When the site went down during that one match, that was one of the most intense moments in contest history. I don't have Ulti's ability to go into great detail about everything that makes Link fun in the contests, all I can tell you is that it's impossible to dethrone him as the champion (it's been like twenty years, and I think that even in 2003, Cloud just got lucky and rode a wave of antivotes) and that he always gives either the most exciting or the most boring performances of any character.

Good!
Cadence of Hyrule
Princess Zelda (Spirit Tracks)
Koji Kondo
The Legend of Zelda: Majora's Mask: Ah man, remember cheaply-made trashy asset flips? Is this the most successful "make it in under a year" asset flip of all time? It has to be, right? I can't think of anything else that comes close. They knew to make exactly enough new content to carry the game, then added a time loop mechanic (which would be stolen by approximately eight-hundred-quintillion indie titles in the 2020s), and a transformation mechanic, and dialed up the dourness of OoT to the limit. And it works! Everything about this game works SO well. I don't know if I've ever heard anyone ever complain about this game. And I'm not the first to say this, but I'll say it anyway: to me, this is the last true 90s game. It may have come out in 2000, but this is the finale of what 90s video gamedom had to offer. This or FFIX, but MM is way better than FFIX, so I want to say it's MM. And what a gutsy move, to just excise Ganondorf and Zelda from the game entirely (yes, I know that Zelda shows up in a flashback for five seconds, that doesn't count), and make an entire new dimension where everything is like grimy and uneasy and kind of disgusting. OoT feels like an epic adventure where a hero explores the world and fights an ancient evil, but MM feels like you took the wrong offramp and ended up on the bad side of town. No one in this game ever feels especially happy, like they know their world is just sort of wrong, and they just have to make due. No wonder every teenage boy got annoyed with the direction WW took.
The Missing Link
Goron
Hookshot
CD-I Cutscenes
Skull Kid
Going Straight to Castle Hyrule in BotW
Japanese Link to the Past commercial: Deru deru deru This is so aggressively Japanese that I want to join the Imperial Navy and invade the Philippines. I love how they don't even attempt to make Link or Zelda look European, it reminds me of that one FMA live-action movie. Like, they didn't even give Zelda a blonde wig! She would look more like a geisha but for the elf ears. The guy who's playing Link at least has a brown wig on, though if this is for LttP, shouldn't it be pink? Why the hell was that Link's hair pink, anyway. Man, this guy's wig is spot-on for Link's hairstyle, like the color is wrong, but they must have spent a while getting the bangs that good. I would make a joke here about how I'd like a Zelda game where Ganon resurrects, and they have to defeat him using the power of dance, but that game already exists! I know everyone wants to make jokes about how commercials used to be better, but honestly, aside from the Sears AC commercial, I don't think I ever cared about any of them growing up. Commercials were mostly boring back then, and they're still boring today, the only difference is that youtube has conjured back to life the handful of funny old commercials like this one.
Z3R
Bongo Bongo: Great boss. Nothing more to say. What other fantasy game series even would do something like this, a pair of giant disembodied hands playing the bongo you're standing on in order to fight you? It's so random and bizarre.
Magnet Gloves
BotW Cooking Jingle
Stone Tower Temple: As far as dungeon gimmicks go, "turn everything upside-down whenever you feel like it" is a great one. It's simple, it's intuitive, it lends itself to a million gameplay opportunities, and it's always fun to use aspects of the ceiling as a floor. This is by no means unique to MM, a million other games have done this, but it's done perfectly well here. Fun fact, I've never beaten the boss without using the Giant's Mask. I know you can, though. If I had a criticism, I suppose it would be that the aesthetic of this dungeon is just nothing. It's the most standard "big stone dungeon" place you could possibly explore. Like, if someone told me to design a the most generic video game dungeon possible, a stone tower is second only to a castle's underground dungeon area linking into some spooky caves.

Hey, Listen!
Linkle: I know a lot of people support the idea of female Link as an option. I actually kind of disagree? I think it's important that Link stay as personality-less and element-less as possible. He needs to just be the most generic person possible, and giving you the option to control anything about him beyond clothing would damage that. But I don't mind the idea of female Link conceptually. Like, if in one of the thousand alternate dimensions attached to Hyrule, if you encountered female Link, and she was like "Yo boy Link, help me save Prince Zeldo from Ganandarf," I'd be down for that. And I don't even mind the idea of her using twin minicrossbows, that's fun and unique and sets her apart from Link's normal sword and normal bow. But like... she can't also exist when regular boy Link exists, you know? It's one or the other. So, I read up on her story on the Wiki, since I only played the original HW with no DLC, and her story is that she THINKS she's the real reincarnation of the hero, goes on a journey to fight Ganon, and never even encounters him, just saves random peasants from his monsters, while Link does all of the actual work, and she's just not related to Link or the legendary heroes at all? That's actually kind of amazing. It says that she was originally supposed to be Link's sister, but Eiji Aonuma didn't want her to conflict with Aryll? Bro, Aryll was in one game in like 2002. You can have Link have another ****ing sister, Jesus Christ. It says that Eiji Aunuma is open to the idea of her appearing in a real game, get wrecked, Linkle, that's never happening. You're doomed to noncanon female protagonist spinoff hell with FeMC from Persona 3.
Great Bay Temple
Heroic Fantasy
The Legend of Zelda: Link's Awakening

That's not what being Anagram'd means.

... but I'll do Ancient Cistern next time.

Hey, Listen!
Great Bay Temple: The only good water level in all of video gamedom, there, I said it. Every time you have a water level in a video game, you sigh and groan and tolerate it. No one likes them. GBT is benefiting a lot from the fun Zora Mask mechanics, and yet... I think I've gotten lost at least one time every time I've played it. Never horribly lost, like I've wasted 35 minutes or more in the OoT Water Temple, but it is more confusing than your average dungeon. Is this... the worst dungeon in MM? It's between this and the swamp one. The swamp one is more dour and less fun to look at, like this one has pipes and movement and colors, so I'll give it to GBT anyway.
Heroic Fantasy: As a genre, I don't know. I like the genre sometimes, but it's generally less appealing to me than sci-fi and most other speculative fiction genres. And then there are just so many disappointments in the genre. I want to say that well over half of fantasy titles are trash. But the ones I do like, I like a lot. Lord of the Rings is one of the childhood-defining movie series for me, you know? And even that gets tainted by the Hobbit movies, and that Amazon series is REALLY on the edge for me. So, I don't know. This isn't an easy one to rank.
The Legend of Zelda: Link's Awakening
The Legend of Zelda: A Link to the Past
Groose: I didn't mean to put this write-up next to Ghirahim's, ha, that was a coincidence. I know that Groose has a big following and that people love him, and everyone likes a good arrogant bully character who learns his lesson and becomes a good guy... but honestly, and this is so stupid, the only thing I distinctly remember about Groose is the scene where he goes to the surface world and says "small birds." SS is a game with way too much plot? For a Zelda game? And Groose is part of that. I don't really play this series for its deep lore and cutscenes. I play this series to have a sequence of progressively more difficult puzzles I have to solve with various items placed in front of me, punctuated by boss fights or stabbing skeletons or whatever. If it's got a fun story, then great, but I would never play a Zelda title *for* the story. Groose has to be the biggest side character in the series after Link, Zelda, and Ganondorf, right? Like, I can't think of anyone who gets remotely as much dialogue as he does. And for what? He never shows up again, he's not reincarnated endlessly like the music box guy. Poor Groose, not getting to bully Link endlessly through the eons.
Ghirahim
Medli
Saria: Okay, I admit, Medli isn't the first little girl in the series, I take it back. It's Saria. Oh wait, is it what's-her-face from LA? Is she also a ten-year-old? ****ing Fire Emblem poisoned my mind. I don't mind fish people evolving into bird people, but how did immortal fairy elves turn into root people? Did the Great Deku Tree magically transform them? Eh. Anyway, Saria is perfectly fine as like your childhood friend who stays behind in the village and becomes important later, but what is there to her? The only Saria moment I really remember is when she gives Link the ocarina and he awkwardly runs away, what a brilliant moment.
Hyrule Warriors
Rolling in Ocarina of Time: I consider this to be the same thing as rolling in any game, or using backsliding techniques in SotN, or things of that nature. God, imagine how illogical this must seem to people who don't understand video games, the idea that it's technically faster (or seems faster if you're an 11-year-old) to use a dodge ability instead of just running. Like, in real life, that obviously never happens, so it must be so unintuitive. The closest non-video game example I can think of is that stupid roll under the closing door that Geordi LaForge does in that one episode of TNG. By the way, yes, I rolled almost nonstop across Hyrule Field, I'm sure we all did.
The Legend of Zelda: The Minish Cap
Using Ocarina of Time to speedrun Paper Mario
Ezlo
Dragon Roost Island (Music)
Drgn roost island
The Legend of Zelda: Spirit Tracks
The Legend of Zelda (Rabbit Joint)

Does it Really Make Everybody... Happy?
David Jr.
Makar
Kass
xenosaga's Impulse Link/Epona Figure
Legend of Zelda (NES)
Nintendo Cereal System
Rod of Seasons

Well ExcuuuuUUUUuuuuuuUUUUuuUuuuUUUUse Me, Princess!
Forced Stealth Sections
Zelda II: The Adventure of Link
Equipment Rental: I'll level with you: I rented everything, and just reset whenever I died. It's not a TERRIBLE idea conceptually, but it's obviously annoying to deal with in-game. Absolutely no one wants to pause their dungeon delving once it starts; once it starts, absolutely everyone wants to finish the dungeon and leave only after beating the boss, and if you die, then you want to get back to where you were and continue. ****ing zero people want to leave the dungeon, go back to Link's house, spend 25 rupees renting a hammer or whatever, and then trek back. I don't feel guilty for cheesing it at all.

If All Else Fails, Use Fire
Freshly-Picked Tingle's Rosy Rupeeland

I Coveted That Wind
Link (Soul Calibur II)
The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time: I think it's uncontroversial to call this the definitive Zelda title. When I think of Zelda as a series, this is what I think of. Not LA, not LttP, not BotW, just this. Is it a function of my age? Maybe. But this was one of those big tentpole games that changed everything, like Resident Evil 4 or Final Fantasy VII. Every action-adventure game after this steals some of its DNA, and I don't really blame them. OoT just does absolutely everything correct, aside from minor things like Zora's Domain never unfreezing or whatever. It even tells a story that's perfectly serviceable if you're a dumbass 10-year-old. What other fantasy media did we even have back then, ****ing Pagemaster? Get out of here. And this is the game that introduced Ganondorf, as opposed to Ganon. This is almost a masterclass in presentation. Every time you fight a boss, the screen is like "Parasitic Armored Arachnid: Gohma" or "Giant Aquatic Amoeba: Morpha," and then you get to the final boss, and it just says GANON. No flair, no nothing, it's just Ganon, and he's a big demon monster, and he's going to fight you now. Such a good presentation. Even the fight itself just feels more epic than most of the other games. This is just a game that was firing on all cylinders 100% of the time, at an important seminal moment for the series (the jump from 2D to 3D), and it brought the series into the future, exactly the same as Mario 64.
Zelda/Sheik in Smash
Midna

Good!
Cadence of Hyrule: What a great idea. I didn't realize Crypt of the Necrodancer was this popular in Japan, that it could persuade Nintendo to allow a crossover. It's way, WAY easier than Crypt, of course, but it's still really fun. Like, there's almost nothing I can say other than that this is a fun, quick little game that should be played if you care about Zelda, Crypt of the Necrodancer, or even Zelda music specifically. What other Nintendo series have enough famous tracks to be remixed in this way? Mario, Pokemon, and what else? And I mean, there's the Mario x Rabbids game, Fire Emblem x SMT, and that one crossover with Pokemon I don't remember but it's on the 3DS or something I'm too lazy to look it up. What other properties can Nintendo make bizarre crossovers with? Metroid almost got a Fortnite crossover, but it got cancelled at the last second. Has there been a Kirby crossover yet?
Princess Zelda (Spirit Tracks): I think this is the first good Zelda, right? I guess it's Tetra, but she's almost her own thing. Every Zelda before this was either a barely-existent noncharacter, or very reserved and dour. This is the first Zelda who's like energetic and helpful and a character in her own right. Although, unlike other Zeldas, she's explicitly a descendant of Tetra, right? So, is Link her cousin, and she falls in love with him anyway, or did Tetra bang someone other than WW Link? The world may never know. This is also technically Zelda's first playable appearance besides Smash and the CD-I games, right? Were there any other playable characters besides Kafei before this? I know a lot of people support Zelda having a bigger role in the series that's named for her, but I don't actually care, I'm fine with her being a minor character. But I'm also fine with her being a major character! And this version of Zelda is like the first time I ever sort of cared about her, she gets a lot of points for that, even if later Zeldas exceeded her.
Koji Kondo
The Missing Link
Goron: I remember as a dumb kid, I was into the lore of fictional universes. I spent so much time reading stupid WoW lore, I know more than probably anyone on B8 up to WotK (I stopped early into Cata and never went back). The Goron are such a cool idea. They perfectly fit the 'Japanese interpretation of European fantasy, with some stupid silly stuff added' vibe of the games. They're just big ugly rock guys, who eat rocks! That's all they are! They like rolling around, I guess. It's interesting how many tribes and races have been in Zelda games, but Goron are the most enduring. Yeah, Zora, Rito, and Koroks all show up, but Zora are in seven games, and Goron are in thirteen. Thirteen! They're one of the biggest Zelda mainstays, and they never do anything important. They're not there to flesh out the deep lore of Hyrule, they're just there to be another random village Link visits. "Where can we put an elemental fire temple? Oh, a volcano. What kind of people would live in a volcano?" And instead of just making them like dudes in cloaks, they went the extra mile and made them blocky goofy N64 rockmen, because why not? Why not make them goofy rock guys? For what the series needs them to do, Goron are the perfect race. And in MM, where you get to play as various races? Goddamn, is the Goron Mask not the most fun thing in the game? The Zora Mask is fun in water, but water is rare outside of Great Bay, whereas rolling around for speed is always useful and fun. As a kid, I liked the lithe prettyboyness of the Zora Mask, but as a grown-up, I vastly prefer the big fat stupid goof of the Goron Mask.
Hookshot
CD-I Cutscenes
Skull Kid
Going Straight to Castle Hyrule in BotW
Z3R
Magnet Gloves
BotW Cooking Jingle

Hey, Listen!
The Legend of Zelda: Link's Awakening: You know, I'm not really sure about putting this above LttP. I acknowledge that as a complete Zelda experience, LttP is probably a better option. But LA is just more fun, you know? Because it's on the GB, it's more streamlined, so there's way less minute exploring to do. It has, in my opinion, the best trade quest in the series. It has lots of just little weird wacky moments that give it character, like the photographs and the NPCs and the goombas the shopkeeper who zaps you if you steal from him. LttP is probably the better game, but it plays things way straighter, and as a result, I remember LA way better. And man, as a kid, to me, this was Zelda. I played LA:DX like a billion ****ing times as a kid, way more than I played any other Zelda game. I could have done it blindfolded, almost. The only game of comparable length that I played as a kid maybe as many times as this is Pokemon Blue. And in all that time, I've never beaten the final boss without the boomerang. Like, I might go so far as to call LA the silliest game in the series? Obviously, WW and its ilk are more cartoony, but they aren't really as SILLY, and that lends this game a very unique tone in the overall Zelda space. Anyway, I love the color dungeon, what a fun gimmick, but the thing Kid Me hated the most was the boxer miniboss who punches you to the start of the dungeon. Every time I fought him after the first, I was super careful.
The Legend of Zelda: A Link to the Past
Ghirahim
Medli
Hyrule Warriors
The Legend of Zelda: The Minish Cap: If you look at the Zelda series as a succession of gimmicks, where every game has its own unique gimmick, it's strange that it took this long to get to "shrinking." The tiny world isn't technically another Reverse World from Hyrule, but it's close. Someone should make a list of all the low-effort 'reverse worlds' Link has to visit in this series. Anyway, I go into this more with the Ezlo write-up, but it's funny that Capcom thought they could just make the "original" Zelda game on the ****ing GBA of all things. And they give us a discount Triforce with the "Light Force," get ****ed, Capcom, you're not fooling anyone. How strange that Nintendo licensed out one of its tentpole series to Capcom, and that Capcom made three pretty okay games? Like, they aren't exactly crazy good, but they're all fine. And Vaati, fun guy. Vaati is a fun non-Ganondorf villain, but I know why he never showed up again after FSA. It's for the same reason Mario games always come back to Bowser; Nintendo clearly just values simplicity in the storytelling. The one time they experimented with that, we got Metroid: Other M. I wonder if we'll ever get Vaati as even an AT in Smash? But back to Minish Cap -- it's fine. It's a fun little random side adventure Link went on. It's not genre-defining like OoT, it's not a big disappointment like SS, it's not super popular for a specific generation like LA, it's just sort of there.
Using Ocarina of Time to speedrun Paper Mario
Ezlo: I just want to say, right off the bat, that when I googled "Ezlo," Google lists him as a "TV character." Anyway, Ezlo is one of the better Zelda companions. Crucially, he doesn't completely overdo it like certain companions I could name, and he's integrated into your moveset a little better as a parachute and the mechanism for shrinking, which gives him a little more value. It's funny how this game clearly sets itself up as the origin of Link and Zelda, as the clear first in the series, where a big deal is made of Link getting his first hat ever, and then later they make SS, which MC just completely mogs. I like the end of the game, where Ezlo turns back into a Minish, gives Link a replacement hat, and says it looks good, and that this is the first time he's been able to see Link wear one. Like, Link is just a blond elf whose defining features are that he wears a tunic, wears a hat, has a sword and shield, and is left-handed. Conceptually, taking one of his standard items and turning it into a companion is a good idea. CONCEPTUALLY. Talking to you, SS. And while you theoretically could do the same with Link's shield, I can't recall any game in the series where Link's shield is actually like plot-important? His sword usually is, but the shield is always either just a random shield he found somewhere, or a fancy mirror shield from some ancient civilization that still isn't particularly important, but lets you solve light puzzles.
Dragon Roost Island (Music)
Drgn roost island
The Legend of Zelda: Spirit Tracks: I have mixed feelings, not about this, but about the loss of the like 'lesser' mobile Zeldas in general. Now that the Switch fulfills the roles of both home console and mobile gaming platform, there's no need for 'smaller' games like LA, Mario Land, etc. Having those off-games in-between the big releases was kind of nice, wasn't it? They were lower stakes for Nintendo, so they could afford to try weird crap, like staying 2D for decades, or a game where 40% of it, you're just standing on a train. Even Pokemon had to go big on the Switch, though that was to its benefit. It feels like we get the same number of 'big games,' but just no longer get the smaller mobile titles, since it's no like we're getting Zelda releases on our iPhones. LBW might legitimately be the final example of that type of Zelda, even Nintendo in general, title. Oh, Spirit Tracks in particular? It's fine. Way better than Phantom Hourglass. This is like the definition of okay. I can't think of anything that sets this game apart from the others, aside from being one of the first ones with an increased focus on Zelda as a companion. Hm, looking up the Zelda Timeline, I see that most of the Toon Link games are sequestered to the side in their own timeline, but not Triforce Heroes, FSA, or Minish Cap. Seems like kind of a missed opportunity? Like, each timeline having its own distinct look seems like a cute, logical thing to do, and they only half-commit to that.
The Legend of Zelda (Rabbit Joint)

Does it Really Make Everybody... Happy?
David Jr.: I'm gonna level with you, I just read the Wiki page on this guy, and I no memory of him at all. I remember the other Tingle people in WW, but nothing specific. And he's in MC? Who even cares. But the idea of Tingles enslaving a random guy to work for them and wear their stupid costume is kind of funny, so I'll accept it.
Makar
Kass
xenosaga's Impulse Link/Epona Figure
Legend of Zelda (NES)
Nintendo Cereal System
Rod of Seasons

Well ExcuuuuUUUUuuuuuuUUUUuuUuuuUUUUse Me, Princess!
Forced Stealth Sections
Zelda II: The Adventure of Link

If All Else Fails, Use Fire
Freshly-Picked Tingle's Rosy Rupeeland

I Coveted That Wind
Link (Soul Calibur II)
Zelda/Sheik in Smash
Midna: Midna is pretty easily the best Zelda companion. I don't think I've ever seen anyone dispute this. She does talk a lot, but unlike the others, she doesn't really give grandiose speeches or constant advice, she just snarks at you occasionally. Also unlike some of the others, she's actually integrated into the story in a competent fashion. Like, remove Navi or Ezlo, and the story is the same, except you're now just on a mostly silent adventure. Midna also fulfills the important role of providing us with a lighthearted tone in the darkest and most morose Zelda title. She's actually funny, at least occasionally, and like Ezlo below, she provides Link with actual abilities to justify her tagging along (as opposed to certain fairies I could mention). Like, the idea of a powerful important princess being cursed into this pathetic imp and having to raise up a hero to reclaim her throne is a great idea, and it's handled mostly pretty well. And yes, of course we all remember when Midna turns back into a Twili and is suddenly sexy, despite the fact that all of her people up to this point looked like hideous monster men, don't even attempt to explain it. I think Midna really struck a chord with people in a way that no other companion did, and it's for a combination of all of these reasons. How much restraint does Nintendo show in not bringing her back? Good job, there. And she's the queen of one of the seventeen reverse worlds Hyrule has; you could so easily bring her back if you wanted. Overall, Midna is probably the best-remembered element of a game no one particularly cares about. TP was probably my first Zelda disappointment, actually? It's not a bad game, but the 8.8 was generous.

Good!
Koji Kondo
The Missing Link
Hookshot
CD-I Cutscenes
Skull Kid
Going Straight to Castle Hyrule in BotW
Z3R
Magnet Gloves
BotW Cooking Jingle: Does its job beautifully, no complaints at all.

Addendum:
In Hyrule Warriors, the weapon where a Great Fairy puts Link in a bottle and fights is actually pretty clever, points for that.

Good!
Koji Kondo: I had to look him up, is he the guy who did the classic Zelda themes? Holy god, he was 25 when he did the music for the original LoZ, what am I doing with my life. Imagine being the guy who made the tunes that burned their way into millions of kids' brains, what a talent. Ugly guy, though.
The Missing Link: This is what I'm talking about. In the opening, no one today would make a green Triforce, a Triforce consisting of two pieces, or a talking Link with brown hair and brown eyes, because the canon of what LoZ is is too well-established. And what IS taken from the games? The theme song and Link's sword shooting beams. That's what they considered important enough to take from the game, the sword shooting beams. Later, we see moblins shooting laser arrows. Wow, normal-ass skeletons. And Ganon's voice is so high-pitched. These flips Link is doing, amazing. "Time to send you to my evil jar," what. "Come and get it, Pigface!" Imagine if these were the personalities for Link and Zelda that the series actually went with. Holy crap, this sword is completely different sizes in every shot. So, if you're Ganon, and you have Link's unconscious body, and Link is the only reason you can't take the Triforce from Zelda, why not just kill Link instead of using him to blackmail Zelda into giving you the Triforce? "You swing that sword like a girl!" "I am a girl!" God, imagine someone writing that today, how quickly would Link get cancelled. I love how stupid the plot point of "Zelda could only see Link if she was in love with him" is. Imagine being in love with this version of Link. Why is it even surprising that she's in love with him? How many other boys her own age does she even know? I wonder if anyone would care about this show if it was just a random show with original characters instead of being based on LoZ.
Hookshot
CD-I Cutscenes
Skull Kid
Going Straight to Castle Hyrule in BotW
Z3R: I know way more about the Zelda 1 Randomizer, just because I know someone who plays it competitively, but I'm completely in favor of mods to old games that extend their lifespan, either by introducing random elements or just making them harder. I've played many mods for Baldur's Gate II, and I view this as a similar thing, just one that offers a more competitive element.
Magnet Gloves: Another amazing idea that's used in only one game. The idea of just a big old magnet is super intuitive, and they made it into gloves to give it a fantasy twist, sure. Zelda needs more werid items like this in addition to its mainstays, like the bow and hookshot.

Hey, Listen!
The Legend of Zelda: A Link to the Past: In my mind, when I think of dogs, the most dog-ass dog out there is the German Shepard. And when I think of Zelda games, the most Zelda-ass Zelda game out there is OoT. But LttP is close. In my mind, it renders the original game completely obsolete, why would you ever play it when LttP does absolutely everything it does, but better? It's like playing FFIII instead of FFV. The dungeons are better, the bosses are better, Ganon is... the same, actually, but the overworld is better, I just don't know why you'd play the original game instead of this completely superior version of the game. This is definitively the definitive 2D Zelda game, though. I'll say this, however: it's not as genre-defining as like Super Mario Bros, or Mario 64, or Ocarina of Time, or something like that. It's just a very good game in its genre that people generally like, but there aren't a billion ripoff games trying to do the same thing.
Ghirahim: Okay, instead of talking about Ghirahim, I have a related but distinct question. For any LGBT B8ers, I have a question: how does the LGBT community feel about sissy twink villains? Like, is Ghirahim considered to be good representation, or harmful, or what? Because it's not just Ghirahim, there's an entire stable of sissy evil twinks who weigh ninety pounds and wear lipstick, and I don't know what actual gay people think about them. I'll say this about Ghirahim, though: he's like the only thing in SS anyone remembers or cares about. What a trash game.
Medli
Hyrule Warriors: This is the only musou game I've ever played. I have not played the sequel, just in case you're wondering, and even then, I only played the base game, without any DLC. It was okay, but this isn't a genre for me. Endless hordes of super weak enemies is just not exciting to me. The most interesting part of this game was the choice of characters they gave. Like, they give you the mandatory ones, like Link, Zelda, and Ganon, and then they give the not-mandatory-but-who-else, like Impa, and then they throw in their OCs and weird characters like Agitha and Ghirahim. Does Linkle count as an OC? Woah, I didn't realize Ravio and Yuga were in this game. Like, all of the exciting parts of this game are just how deep the cuts they can make are, not the actual gameplay, which is just serviceable.
Using Ocarina of Time to speedrun Paper Mario
Dragon Roost Island (Music)
Drgn roost island: I listened to this again, and to the proper version of the song, and I could baaaaaaaaarely tell the difference. I could tell the difference only at certain parts where the sounds were very specific. A quick googling says that 5/4 rhythms are meant to sound irregular and attention-grabbing, but I could only tell the difference because I was specifically looking for it. Thus, I must give this the same placement as the regular song. Sorry!
The Legend of Zelda (Rabbit Joint)

Does it Really Make Everybody... Happy?
Makar
Kass
xenosaga's Impulse Link/Epona Figure: Is it that much to ask that this be painted? They had the ability to paint action figures in the 1960s.
Legend of Zelda (NES)
Nintendo Cereal System
Rod of Seasons: I played the Oracle games many times, and I used Ricky every single time. Why? I don't know, but I remember a snotty, annoying kid at school being like "did you know that only female kangaroos have pouches? So, Ricky must be a girl~~~" I knew it was just because whomever designed Ricky didn't know or care about that fact, but I guess Ricky is now the first Nintendo trans character. Oh wait, Birdo, dammit. Where was I, the Rod of Seasons? It was a good idea to make companion games where you alter a large-scale aspect of the world to solve puzzles. Traveling through time is more interesting, but it had also already been done, whereas seasons are a new idea. Overall, it was a good idea, but if we're just talking about the item itself? It's fine, it's just an item.

Well ExcuuuuUUUUuuuuuuUUUUuuUuuuUUUUse Me, Princess!
Forced Stealth Sections
Zelda II: The Adventure of Link

If All Else Fails, Use Fire
Freshly-Picked Tingle's Rosy Rupeeland

Couldn't rank because I don't know what this is and google didn't help
ZELDA'S MASSIVE HITBOX

I Coveted That Wind
Link (Soul Calibur II): Easily the greatest console exclusive bonus of all time, nothing else even comes close. I love how he's not just a regular fighter, either, they actually went out of their way to integrate his items naturally into his moveset, and made all of his alternate weapons use weapons from his series. He feels so much more complete as a guest character than Heihachi (who's made by the same company as Soul Calibur, and so feels like less of a "guest" than Link) and Spawn (who has nothing to do with Xbox, or video games in general, and the spot obviously should have been Master Chief or the Arbiter). They even get him right in the opening cinematic, where he raises his sword, not that there's much to get. I love how the Soul Calibur Wiki immediately tries to identify which version of Link this is, settling on describing him as "timeline-confused." I mean, yes, Link is terrible in-game, of course, but he's good enough to beat my friends James and Travis in tenth grade by spamming arrows and bombs until they ragequit, and that's all I care about. Oh, did Link not show up in the HD rerelease, but Heihachi and Spawn did? That's hilarious. I also think that Link is by far the best guest character the series ever had. It's had Link, Heihachi, Spawn, Lloyd Irving, Darth Vader, Yoda, the Apprentice, Kratos, Ezio, Geralt, and 2B, and Haohmaru, and of those, Link is by far the best. I mean, the Star Wars characters are the most famous, but they're SO completely discordant with the rest of the game that I just can't accept them, and the Apprentice being in instead of like Obi-Wan or Luke (and Yoda, even, whose only gimmick is being basically unplayable because he's too short) just renders them bad. 2B is another 'doesn't even attempt to fit in' character, though she's more fun mechanically. Ezio is the only character who actually fits the series' aesthetic and tone, though Geralt comes close, but that's the thing, Link is just SUCH a bigger name than any of these other losers (besides Vader and Yoda) that it's way more exciting and fun for him to be here. I don't know who else could be as exciting as Link, probably like Kid Goku or something, but as it is, Link might actually be the greatest guest character of all time. Also, why the hell does Smash have Kazuya instead of Jin or Heihachi? They're way more beloved and famous than Kazuya, he's easily the least 'main character' of the three.
Zelda/Sheik in Smash: It's amazing how importantly timed OoT was for Smash. Pre-OoT, Link was just a kid, it's only in OoT-on that he's an older teenager. If OoT didn't exist, or if Smash was made before OoT, I'm confident that the default version of Link in our minds would be a twelve-year-old. And while Smash was always going to eventually include Zelda herself, the fact that it was Zelda and Sheik, and Zelda's entire moveset of magical spells, were purely a result of OoT and MM still being the most recent big Zelda games when Melee was made. And then when OoT was no longer the most recent big Zelda game, and Sakurai updated her to TP, he had to update Sheik, a character who didn't even exist in that game. And does this make Zelda the first character in Smash to have stances? Does this count as a stance character? And why did the series never bring Sheik back, this is one of the most remembered aspects of Zelda as a character, and it happened one time in 1998. I mean, am I alone in thinking that each Zelda character ought to just use the design from one game, right? Like, Link should be whatever the most recent game is (BotW in this case), Zelda and Ganondorf can be whatever, and Sheik should be OoT, because OoT is a big famous game that changed everything, and also she was only in a single game.

NFUN posted...

I didn't nominate Dragon Roost Island, Anagram...

I just watched the whole thing, and all I saw out of place was the title being spelled weirdly, and the wavy effect at the end?

Does it Really Make Everbody... Happy?
Makar: I had to look this up. I have zero memory of this character. He's one of the musicians you need to recruit in WW? Man, is he less memorable than Medli. I'll tell you this, at least: Koroks have a more interesting design than Kokiri, who are basically just Peter Pan fairy-elves, but no individual Korok is very memorable, because they all just sort of look the same. And I know that they have more body diversity than any of the humanoid races!
Kass: I haven't played TotK, but I know that this guy being revealed as having a wife and son angered some players. He's just a buff bird guy, right? He's not anything special. I don't understand why he got so popular. Is it just furries? Probably just furries.
Legend of Zelda (NES): This might be a controversial opinion, but I'm not that big of a fan. I agree that LoZ is heads and tails above most fare from its time period, like you compare this to almost any other NES game and it's just an embarrassment, but... I would never go back and play this game again. It's not that it's bad, it's that it's been exceeded in literally every single possible way by other games in its series. Which is good! It's good that the series has evolved, however slowly, and become better. But even if I wanted to play this game, I would just replay LttP instead. I'm sure this is better for speedrunning and challenge runs, but that doesn't interest me at all. It's also kind of interesting which elements of this game became major canon for the series, while which elements were dropped. Like, Link being an elf in green clothes, going around with a sword, visiting fairies, delving into dungeons to collect macguffins by finding silver keys and boss keys and a single useful item per dungeon that conveniently kills the boss, to rescue a princess kidnapped by a demon pig man, whose goal is to assemble some golden triangles to take over the world? All of that is Zelda canon. But an old man who sits in a cave and gives you the sword? Nah. You get the sword in every possible way except that, afterwards.
Nintendo Cereal System: Had to look this one up. I haven't eaten cereal for breakfast in like ten years. Early Nintendo approved of a lot of bizarre stuff it never would today, back before it really became defensive of its IPs. I just looked this up on eBay, and there's one going for a thousand dollars. I don't know if I can think of any bigger waste of money than this. Like, imagine if they did this today, would Mario and Zelda even be the series used? I have to imagine they'd have multiple types of themed cereals, right? There'd be a Mario one, a Zelda one, and a Pokemon one at least.

Well ExcuuuuUUUUuuuuuuUUUUuuUuuuUUUUse Me, Princess!
Forced Stealth Sections: I'm gonna be a huge hypocrite here, because I normally dislike these kinds of sections in games, but I did like the island in BotW where you lose your gear and have to stealth around a lot. That island alone is lifting up this ranking.
Zelda II: The Adventure of Link: Here's the thing. Everyone is always like "remember when game series used to take bizarre risks, and didn't really understand their identities yet?" Yes, that's a cool concept, and yes, it led to a lot of 'second game in the series' that are very distinct from the rest. But here's the other thing: half the time, that second entry in the series is just kind of bad? Final Fantasy II is another perfect example. This even goes beyond games, you can see the exact same thing happening with Nightmare on Elm Street 2. Like, this game, Zelda II? It's INTERESTING, but that's all I can say for it. It's weird. It's unique. But is it good? I can't imagine anyone saying that this is their top third of Zelda games, I can barely even imagine anyone saying that it's in their top half, and if they did, I imagine the reason would be entirely down to it being such a different direction for the series, rather than it actually being better than other Zelda titles. Now, para is going to kill me.

If All Else Fails, Use Fire
Freshly-Picked Tingle's Rosy Rupeeland: Okay, well, I guess I lied, I also haven't played this game. I did look up a synopsis for it, and watched a bit of gameplay, though. Definitely not for me.

Good!
Hookshot: Probably the best recurring item, though there are better single-game items. There's nothing more fun than carefully aiming up a shot and zooming between areas, especially when you get the double-hookshot. It's the only item I actually missed having in BotW, too. I know that Zelda added more 'ancient technology' stuff as it went along, and I know that it's had Beamos as long as it's had hookshots, but to me, this is the definitive 'technology' item of the series. It's not steampunk, but the mechanisms in it clearly look very complex, so I always think of this, even in games like BotW where there's more obviously magic-technology at play.
CD-I Cutscenes: They're atrocious, of course. I know all of this exists purely to cash in as fast as possible on Zelda's popularity, but can you imagine being a kid whose mom comes home with one of these stupid games, and seeing the cutscenes in action for yourself? I remember as a kid, these games had an almost mythical reputation on GameFAQs. I couldn't find a rom of them, not that I looked taht hard, and they remained some of the only Zelda games I never played. I distinctly remember reading an argument in like 2003 where people were arguing about Zelda vs FF, which is the better series overall, and the pro-FF guy arguing that the CD-I games must count and drag Zelda's score down below FF's. Were these also the first time Link spoke? The hideousness of the cutscenes is why they're so high up, it's like something I could do. I love things that are this bad. And... are these cutscenes the origin of more than half of Zelda memes? Like, the one where Link covers his mouth while smiling along must represent at least 10% of Zelda-related images on 4chan, right?
Skull Kid: If someone came to me and said "describe LoZ's atmosphere," I wouldn't be able to. Fantastical fantasy? Skull Kid is a good example of it. A bullied, lonely scarecrow wearing an evil purple mask that mind controls him into being evil? It's a good premise for a side villain, at least, and I like how he ties MM back to OoT. But like, I'm not one of those people who's ride-or-die for this character, no.
Going Straight to Castle Hyrule in BotW: I actually love that BotW lets you do this. I've never even tried, since I know I would get to Ganon and then get crushed in five seconds, but I really do appreciate that it's an option. BotW, and I assume TotK, is such a good direction after the previous games. It feels like it's true to Zelda while still doing its own thing, and this option is a great example of that.

Hey, Listen!
Medli: Even though Medli is a complete nothing character, her design is pretty good. Like, I understand that narratively, the purpose of Medli and Makar and other similar characters is to connect the player to the world, so you'll care about the world and want to save people and be emotionally invested, but let's be real here: Zelda is not a series about plot or characterization. I would almost call the writing trash? Except that the writing isn't the point, and it gets the job done, so I don't know if I even want to go that far. Anyway, question: is Medli the first important 'young girl' character in the series? Like the stupid Fire Emblem characters who are all ten year old girls, is Medli the first Zelda version of that? I guess Zelda in OoT is, but I'll forgive that one because it makes sense for the time skip plot (which I just insulted).
Using Ocarina of Time to speedrun Paper Mario: I read an entire article about how this works, and I still barely understand it. I don't really know what's going on, but I think it's a cool and innovative concept, though, so it gets some points for that!
Dragon Roost Island (Music): Not the best, not the worst. It's upbeat, like the rest of the game. I won't reveal my favorite Zelda tunes, but I have very basic taste, so I'm sure they'll get nominated before long.
The Legend of Zelda (Rabbit Joint): Man. Remember being 13? I remember being 13.

We've done Star Wars, Star Trek, Final Fantasy, Pokemon, Flags, and Visual Aesthetics, so it's time for another one, and this time, I want a proper 'normal' series instead of something weird. I was thinking of Lord of the Rings, but I haven't read the Silmarillion or played any of its games, so that's out.

The rules are simple: post anything related to Legend of Zelda, no matter how tangentially, and I'll put it into a tier list with a too-long write-up of my thoughts on it. However, I'm preemptively vetoing Tears of the Kingdom, because it's the only Zelda game I haven't played (well, that any Link's Crossbow Training).

Not sure if this topic will go to 250 or 500, so we'll see how popular it is.

Just finished it a second ago. It was okay.

Paratroopa1 posted...

I can basically imagine how this happened

"Okay, I'll cluster the three Batman films together at the top, those are probably the most popular anyway"

"Okay, now I'll list the films after Dark Knight Rises, in order, since that's where I'm in the list"

"Oops I forgot Inception, that happened in the middle of the Batman movies"

"Oh right, gotta go back to the start of the list and add the two films that happened before the Batman movies"

This is actually correct.

Tag

The text-based FAQs lose tons of traffic. It's way easier to google a part you're stuck at and get an article about it on IGN or something.

I was thinking about this earlier, that no other game (to my knowledge) offers something like this. Everyone in my school was talking about this, and it clearly made Namco a ton of money, and yet Soul Calibur II is from twenty-one years ago. Even when games get released on multiple consoles today, they still don't get console exclusive content themed for each platform.