Lurker > AdmiralZephyr

Redemption Island sucked but had one amazing character (can't spoil it for this list, but I'm sure most of you can guess it) that saves it from being the worst season ever.

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+3 Rock and Roll Ain't Noise Pollution
+2 It's A Long Way to the Top
+1 If You Want Blood (You've Got It)

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Honestly, this would probably be my ranking after my most recent rewatches:

24. South Pacific
23. Cook Islands
22. Redemption Island
21. One World
20. Fans vs. Favorites
19. Samoa
18. Thailand
17. Fiji
16. Palau
15. All-Stars
14. The Australian Outback
13. Tocantins
12. Nicaragua
11. Heroes vs. Villains
10. Africa
9. Gabon
8. Vanuatu
7. Exile Island
6. Borneo
5. Marquesas
4. Guatemala
3. China
2. The Amazon
1. Pearl Islands

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WilhuffTarkin posted...

Guatemala turned out to be incredibly boring overall. Second weakest season imo.

I just recently rewatched Guatemala and it's an incredible season, much better than I remember it. The editing is spectacular, there are tons of great story arcs, and plenty of awesome characters, including a few that usually go overlooked. Even my least-favorite is still far from their appearance on the list. Before I had it at around the 11 or 12 range, but now I wouldn't hesitate to put it in my top 5 or 6.

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418. Chelsea Meissner (One World, 3rd place)



I almost feel like I don't have to do a write-up for Chelsea, because she's pretty much Chase with boobs. But I will. Chelsea went into the game seeming like a good ol' country girl, and even when the game started she was a bit of a badass. Unfortunately this quickly died down when she was shown to have no spine, especially in voting out her friends Mike and Jay when she clearly didn't want to. She had every opportunity to blindside Kim and stop the most obvious and boring win in Survivor history from happening, but instead she took this opportunity to help vote out her friend Kat, who posed no strategic threat whatsoever. And she lost gloriously in the final tribal council. The reason I put her one spot higher that Chase is because at least we didn't have to listen to her sing some country song at the Reunion.


417. Clay Jordan (Thailand, 2nd place)



A lot of runner-ups and a lot of Southerners in this update. Based on the reactions to him all over the internet, Clay is clearly a love-him-or-hate-him character, and I personally hate him. I'll admit that he has a similar qualities to other characters that I do like - the dumbass, slightly-bigoted redneck. Unfortunately I didn't find Clay one bit funny, in fact, I found him trying too hard to be funny for the camera, something Big Tom and Randy never had to do. They were just naturally funny. Clay was also pretty whiny and had no clue how the game worked, latching onto an extremely strategic player and almost beating him in the finals because the other guy was a total dick. Nope, don't like Clay, and I know Sanity and a few others are gonna jump on me for this.


416. Alicia Rosa (One World, 5th place)



One World just barely misses out on being the second season to have three players in my bottom 10, and I decided to spare her from that fate for two reasons, which I'll get to in a bit. But clearly Alicia is a horrible person. She goes off on Christina for everything and anything from day one just because she decides she doesn't like her. She makes an alliance with Colton, the most horrible person in the game, and then b****es when he doesn't give her his immunity idol when he gets medivac'd. She constantly gets up in peoples' faces when they aren't doing anything to her. Let's not forget that in her final words she said "Screw you Christina," even though Christina was the one person who, despite being bullied by her on a daily basis, stood by her the whole game. Need I remind you that this bossy, impatient, rude, selfish woman works with children with special needs as a profession? Oh yeah, I don't need to, because she compared Christina to her students right there on the show. I spare her from the bottom 10 for two reasons - 1. She wasn't even the most horrible person on her season, which was a relief. 2. Her apology at the reunion actually seemed sincere. More sincere than Colton's, anyway.


415. A self-righteous douchebag
414. A self-righteous douchebag
413. Vanuatu's first appearance
412. An early boot
411. A quitter

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420. Crystal Cox (Gabon, 6th place)



It's funny that given all the f***ing a******s that were on Gabon, I'm picking probably barely the third biggest one (a******, that is, obviously she was the biggest person in the cast) to choose as the worst from it. And part of it is because I want to like Crystal because of her absolutely amazing story arc - she is cast for being an Olympic gold medalist, and yet she absolutely sucks at the challenges. Not to mention that post-show she had her medals stripped. Unfortunately, she had the personality of a porcupine with a stick shoved in an unpleasant place, and was very self-righteous (you'll notice that a lot of self-righteous people, especially those who were constantly show to be in the wrong, appear in this tier), and no matter how good her storyline was, I couldn't bring myself to like her. Seriously, I could see her being upset with Randy and Corinne, because they were absolute f***ing a******s to everyone, especially her, but there was no reason that she should have treated the others the way she did. They did nothing to her. Not to mention that rather than guarantee herself in a very entertaining final four with Bob, Corinne and Ken, she kept her vote the same and screwed over both Ken and herself, and we ended up with Susie and Matty in the final four. And then she was surprised when nobody would talk to her at Ponderosa. Was that dickish of them? Yeah. But I mean, the way she acted during the game I can't believe she was shocked.


419. Chase Rice (Nicaragua, 2nd place)



That's right, three Nicaragua players are in my bottom 10. And that's the problem with the season. The good characters are really good (it is tied for the most-represented season in my top 25, in fact), but the bad characters are just absolutely horrible. Going into the season, when you looked at the five younger guys, Chase was the one who didn't seem like a total too. Sash seemed like a douchebag. Benry seemed like a douchebag. Shannon seemed like a douchebag and a sexist. Fabio seemed like the very stereotype of the California surfer boy. And then there was Chase, who seemed like the good, honest, struggling country musician. Beginning in the second episode it was pretty clear that the guy had no backbone whatsoever. Rather than keep his alliance with Shannon, who posed no immediate threat, he voted him out in favor of Brenda, who was clearly a huge strategic player, just because she was his "girlfriend" (oh, and by the way, Brenda didn't see the relationship between herself and Chase this way). He continues making decisions like this up until the merge, when he eventually has to vote his friend Brenda out. Then NaOnka, on the verge of quitting, gives him her hidden immunity idol in case she does quit. So he tells the camera that if she doesn't quit, he isn't giving it back. Then it only gets worse when he continuously promises people rewards but can't follow through on them. And what makes matters worse is that he almost won the f***ing game on pity votes. Yeah, Chase was one of the most spineless, wishy-washy players ever, and I hate him for it.

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TIER 5: The Crap Tier

These are the people that I hate, but don't hate enough to put them in a special tier of their own with the six already listed. I feel like they detracted from/hurt their season, but didn't outright ruin it the way Colton, NaOnka, Brandon, Jane, Russell and Lex did theirs. I won't deny that these guys added something to their season, but it was in a negative way, not a positive way.

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When I said that the spineless tools are the same person, I meant that they have a ridiculous amount of things in common other than just being spineless tools.

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Spineless tools are not from the same season.

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2

Oh, I need to state my reasoning below a 5. Okay, well, it's basic, it's easy, it's short, it's not much of a game at all. It gets a free point because the fhqwghads sprite came from it.

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Well, for a while I'll be posting 5 at a time, since I don't have a lot of long write-ups for a while, but here are the next five hints (in a new tier):

420. Notoriously bad at challenges
419. A spineless tool
418. ^Same person, opposite gender
417. Thailand takes its first hit
416. Has some Latin American/Hispanic heritage

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No, this person's vote would not have affected who won, which is why I don't have them as low as Lex.

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The tribes merge and since Kathy, the target boot, has immunity, Rob is put in a precarious position where he has no choice but to vote out Lex. Rather than be an a****** and blindside him, he does the exact same thing that Lex did to the others and gives him the "It's just a game," speech. So what does Lex do when he gets a taste of his own medicine? He takes bitterness to a whole new level and threatens Rob that they won't be friends anymore if he votes him out. Yeah, that's right. After betraying his own friends and assuring them that it's just part of the game, Lex takes getting voted out personally. This is when he starts to become a total ass hat. Let's not forget that Kathy feels so bad for him that she offers to give up her immunity, but he politely turns down this offer yet still expects her to give it up to him, and when she doesn't at tribal council, he gives her a dirty look. In his final words he's so damn bitter that he doesn't even want Kathy, his closest ally for the entire game to win anymore.

So fast forward to the final tribal council and it's looking like Rob and Amber each have three jury votes, and Lex of all people is going to be the one to break the tie. Rather than take his own "It's only a game" advice, he votes for Amber out of sheer spite of Rob. I'll get to the effects of this a little later, but his actions got even more disgusting at the Reunion, when Rob, after just having lost a million dollars to Lex's vote, offers to let bygones be bygones and shake and make up, but Lex is still being a bitter b**** about it. And still is to this day. Even after Richard Hatch points out that Rob did to Lex exactly what Lex did to Colby, Jerri, Ethan and himself, Lex refuses to believe that he's in the wrong here.

And of course, there's the effect on Survivor history that Lex made. If Lex had not been so bitter, Rob would have won All-Stars, and thus Redemption Island, one of the worst seasons ever, would never have happened, and in effect South Pacific, another awful season, would have been vastly different. So yeah, Lex ruined THREE seasons, not just one. There's one other person that I would actually go as far as to damn them for being a bitter juror the way I do Lex, but we'll get to them in a bit.


PS: Thanks to SanityLapse for finding this Lex image that I had been scouring the internet for for the past week saved on his computer!

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Sorry to interrupt the Russell discussion, but I shall continue with my ranking!






421. Lex van den Berghe (All-Stars, 9th place)



Speaking of sore losers, here's the original. Again, as I said with Russell, this is meant to cover Lex's All-Stars performance only. His Africa incarnation is still in the running. I generally don't believe in the "bitter jury." If you're so much of an ass hat that you can't figure out how to vote people out while not making them hate your guts (it isn't that hard, really), then that's your problem. But if there's one person that I hold a double-standard to with this, it's Lex. And part of the reason for that is that he held betrayal as a double-standard himself, and another part is that he took his bitterness to a whole new level. The third reason is because his bitterness actually changed the course of Survivor history and ruined more than just his own season. But more on that later. Let's begin at the beginning.

All-Stars, the first season to feature returning players. They brought back 18 of the most popular players from the first seven seasons and put them in one game, and let's face it, Lex HAD to be in that group. He was a huge personality in Africa and came one immunity challenge away from winning. So if you're picking out the most popular players from the first few seasons, especially way back then, Lex is a no-brainer. And he ends up on probably the most well-balanced tribe. The red Chapera tribe consists of the over-the-top caricatures and misfits. The yellow Saboga tribe is made up of the nice/sensitive people who are fan-favorites (save Jerri) but relatively weak in challenges. And then you have the green Mogo Mogo tribe, which consists of Lex, Richard, Jenna M., Kathy, Colby, and Shii-Ann, who in their original seasons represented the pinnacles of consistency in terms of physical, social, and strategic games. And for the first few episodes, the game and edit go as planned - the misfits are getting the goofball edit, the fan-favorites are losing all the challenges, and the consistents are just kinda there (except Hatch, but we'll get to that in his write-up later).

Once it comes time for Mogo Mogo to start voting people out, Lex lets go of his friends Hatch, Colby and Ethan, assuring each of them, "It's just a game," and "It's not about whether you win or lose." Fine whatever. Then the tribe "swap" happens, which isn't so much a swap as it is send Amber over to the other tribe. And if what I've heard is true, that's exactly what the producers intended. According to Jerri, they had them stand in a specific order in line and had the buffs laid out one on top of the other in the urn. So when Lex, Kathy, Jerri, Shii Ann, and now Amber lose the next immunity challenge and it looks like doom for Amber, Rob whispers to Lex that if he spares Amber he will try to help him out at the merge if he can. So Lex makes his own dumb move here. Nobody forced him to do anything. Instead of taking the bull by the horns and breaking up the single most powerful two-person alliance in Survivor history, he votes out Jerri on the hope of empty promises from Boston Rob. Oh, and let's not forget that he uses his "It's just a game," speech on her as well. You all know what happens next.

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blindhobo13 posted...

penguins tbqh

No frickin way I LITERALLY entered this topic to say penguins.

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Xuxon posted...

yeah i knew that. was just kidding. but actually, Fiji didn't have anyone on HvV did it

Yeah, Yau couldn't get the time off from work again, but they wanted him back again really bad, especially after how screwed over he got in FvF.

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http://www.amazon.com/Magic-School-Bus-Complete-Series/dp/B007I1Q4MM/ref=sr_1_144?s=movies-tv&ie=UTF8&qid=1338344773&sr=1-144

*pre-orders the crap out of this*

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SanityLapse posted...

I think Erik and Jason were the only actual fans.

This. The rest were just recruits who had happened to have seen a bit more of the show than most other recruits.

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+3 Don't Stop Believing
+2 Separate Ways
+1 Anyway You Want It

HM: Lights

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Nah, it was almost as bad on a rewatch as it was the first time.

Now China, THERE'S a season that shot up about 10 or so spots on a rewatch.

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Fans vs. Favorites most overrated season ever, and it's not even close.

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Like I said, intelligent debates = good. Better than "Zomg resell not first instafail!" anyway.

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BrettEagles posted...

I agree that Russell's best shot was in Samoa and a jury member or two could have swung it his way

Totally agree with this. He could've been a little less of a dick to Jaison and Monica, now he has four of the five votes he needs to win. Brett's vote... is weird. I totally expected him to vote for Russell, and I imagine he may have if he knew a few more of his buddies would.

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Nah, dude, I totally respect you intelligently debating your opinion.

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Exile Island DVD arrived today!

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They actually made themselves look like children, and he got lucky. But I'll get to them in my HvV rankings. Which by the way, the lowest-ranked one is NOT Russell.

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The Mana Sword posted...

Juries really need to be sequestered, but then we wouldn't get sweet Ponderosa videos.

What a dilemma.

I think the only two seasons that this may have changed the winner of are Gabon and Heroes vs. Villains.

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SanityLapse posted...

So if you're ranking contestants based on things they did off the show, how do you determine which season that applies to for multi-season contestants. Like Russell's bitterness about Samoa effects his Samoa ranking I'd assume. But Russell being a lot more humble in comparison during post RI interviews wouldn't affect him poorly, despite his history of being bitter? What if Brian had been on more than 1 season. Would shooting a puppy affect both of his rankings? How does that work for people if you base it on things that happened off the show when they were on more than one season?

Usually it applies to the one nearest to the time that it happens, so Russell's antics in between Samoa and HvV will reflect on his Samoa ranking, his post-HvV antics will be included with his HvV write-up, and his more humble post-RI self will certainly positively impact that ranking. I also look as to whether or not their post-show antics have to do with Survivor, so Brian shooting a puppy, while a horrible, horrible thing, would probably have no affect on any season he would have been on.

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If I were ranking based solely on strategy I'd probably have Russell (at least in his Samoa incarnation) around the 20-30 range. HvV and RI not so much.

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WilhuffTarkin posted...

Any list that does not have Russell Hantz in the top three is a complete failure. He played the single best strategic game of all time in Survivor: Samoa, and was still easily the best player in Heroes vs. Villains. Shame on you, TC.

But to your point that people who like Russell don't know who Richard Hatch is, I personally think that any list without Richard Hatch in the top three as well as Russell is also a complete failure. :)

This isn't necessarily who played the best strategic game though. Some of my top 25 and even top 10 were terrible strategic players.

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Figured that this would be what this was about.

And yes, it's real, it's awesome, and it's getting my ticket money.

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At the Reunion, Russell refuses to congratulate Natalie on her win. He says on live TV that she didn't deserve it and she didn't do anything. He also offers her $10,000 if she gives him the title of Sole Survivor, which she refuses, and I cheered for her. Instead of blaming his loss on the fact that he treated everyone like crap, he blames the jury for being bitter that they got outplayed, even despite the fact that Jeff polled the jury and, had the final three been Russell, Jaison and Shambo, Russell would have won in a landslide. Even after the Reunion, Russell's post show interviews reveal that his is still bitter towards Natalie (who had NO control over how the jury voted) and that he believes Dave and Laura belong in a mental institution just because they have not apologized for not voting for him. So basically Russell is awful now. He's a sore loser and a poor sport. But there's one more reason I hate Russell.

The fans. Oh God the fans. There are all sorts of fans who think that Russell is some God among men, and that he is the best Survivor player ever. Yet a lot of these people have never heard the name Richard Hatch before. See, Richard Hatch played a very similar game to Russell 19 seasons earlier. He led a solid alliance that was originally down in numbers to the end, betraying people along the way, except he didn't treat everyone like crap, and guess what? He won. And 8 seasons later he was called back for All-Stars where he was the fifth person voted out and was the only person in the entire cast who wasn't bitter about not winning. He took his loss like a man. But people seem to forget the amazingness of Richard Hatch and think that Russell is the new god of Survivor. He isn't even the greatest player ever in any of the three categories. He damn sure isn't the best social or physical player. He might be up there in the strategic game, but he's not even close to number one. Second, of the three immunity idols that he found, two of them were shown differently in the edit from how he actually found them. The first one he didn't truly find without any clues. It was shown out of order. Yasmin already had the clue and he saw her looking up the tree trunks, and that was when he looked in them to find it, not before. The second one from what I know was legit found with no clues the way we saw it in the edit. The third one when Dave was following him around, the producers stepped in and pulled Dave aside for a confessional, giving Russell time to get the idol without him noticing. The fans were so enamored with Russell that in CBS's "Best Survivor Moment" tournament, they literally voted Russell burning Jaison's socks over Jonny Fairplay's Dead Grandma Lie in the first round. Disgusting.

So yeah, Russell ruined Samoa and Surivor as we know it.


#421: Someone from the first 10 seasons

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This trend continues up until the merge, at which point Russell's tribe is outnumbered 8-4. Seems like an impossible situation. Well, luckily for him, Erik from the other tribe is pissing everybody off, so they all figure that even if they vote him out they'll still be up 7-4, so they go ahead and do it. Then at the next tribal council, when Russell is the boot target, he pulls out a hidden immunity idol and votes out Kelly. Now they're down 6-4, but they're in luck, because Shambo has finally decided that she no longer wants to be associated with her old tribe, so she joins Russell and crew and it's now tied, 5-5. All they need is one person to flop and Russell convinces John that if he doesn't break the tie, he could go home because of the Purple Rock tiebreaker. This convinces John to flip his vote and the 6 of them get rid of Laura. Russell now has a 6-3 advantage over Brett, Dave and Monica. Surely one of them should go next, right? Nope. Russell decides that even after John helped him out the night before, it's time for him to go. Jaison is skeptical about this because Shambo wants to get rid of Dave, and if they don't do that then she'll be pissed off at them, rejoin her old tribe and they'll be tied again. Russell insists though and they get rid of John. Shambo feels hurt but hates Dave and Monica enough to never side with them.

Next episode is a double boot and since Brett has immunity, Dave and Monica go down. Brett also wins immunity in the next episode, so Russell has to let his pal Shambo go. Now only Brett stands in the way of Russell, Mick, Natalie and Jaison coming back from an 8-4 disadvantage and making a clean getaway to the final four. At this point I'm really mixed on Russell. Part of me is rooting for him to win because he's played a good strategic game, and part of me is rooting for him to lose because he's such an ass hat.

In the finale, Brett wins immunity at the final five, forcing the Foa Foa Four to finally eat one of their own. They choose Jaison because he isn't going to help them beat Brett in the final immunity challenge. Very fittingly, the final challenge comes down to Russell and Brett. Brett's stack falls after a long time and Russell wins final immunity. They go to tribal council and obviously vote out Brett because all of his friends are on the jury and there's no way he won't win. So we have the final three of Russell, Natalie and Mick. Mick was feckless and didn't even know what it meant, and Russell was an ass hat, so Natalie, who didn't do much all game, wins by default. Now, I'm glad Russell lost, but I don't totally hate him because he played a decent game, even if it did primarily involve him just threatening others to do what he wanted and, if the rumors are true, some producer interference. But his post-show actions are what really get me.

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422. Russell Hantz (Samoa, 2nd place)



Ah yes, Russell. Anybody who participates in the regular Survivor topics knew he was going to be in this tier on my list. And let me be perfectly clear since this is the first write-up for someone who has played multiple times - this ranking and write-up is for his Samoa outing only. He will appear two more times later in the list for write-ups on his Heroes vs. Villains performance and brief stint on Redemption Island, as will all of the others who have played multiple times (Boston Rob will appear four times, Cirie three times, Bobby Jon two times, etc). And believe me, in most cases, rankings will vary greatly between performances.

So anyway, on to why I hate Russell in Samoa. The blame on this goes about 40% to the editors, 40% to Russell himself, and 20% to the idiots who won't shut up about him. When the Samoa cast was first announced, you take one look at this guy's picture and you know he's probably a douchebag. He's about 5 foot nothing, fat, bald, and not smiling. Further pics reveal that he wears a fedora and is missing a tooth. So the guy looks like a douchebag but looks can be deceiving, and there's a chance that this guy might actually have a heart of gold. But then the first promos for the season begin airing and he's already being promoted as the biggest villain in Survivor history. Great.

So the season begins and his first confessional is that he wants to make it as miserable as possible for everyone. Great. If history repeats itself, we'll see ya at the Reunion after about three episodes. 10 minutes into the game and he makes a secret alliance with each of the three young girls on the tribe and calls it his "Dumb-Ass Girl Alliance." He also makes an alliance with Betsy, the oldest woman on the tribe, but mentions that he's aware that he has to watch out for her because she's clearly a lot smarter than the three young girls.

On night one, they are all sharing their personal stories, and Russell shares the story of how he lived in New Orleans at the time of Hurricane Katrina and his dog got washed away in the storm and he spent two whole days on top of the roof. To the camera, he reveals that he never lived in New Orleans and has never had a dog, but he feels that he can control the others emotionally with a heartbreaking story like that. After the others fall asleep, he pours out all of the water from each of their canteens and throws Jaison's socks into the fire. When they wake up the next morning he pretends like he has no idea what happened like everyone else. So his team predictably goes into the challenge weak and unprepared and loses. At tribal council he convinces them to vote out Marisa, one of his Dumb-Ass Girls who caught onto what he was doing. So one episode in and Russell is clearly an ass hat, but at least he's providing some entertainment (I mean, not like they're giving any screen time to anybody else).

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bump

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Robazoid posted...

I just want to say that this is really interesting to read and I haven't watched Survivor in a decade. You're doing a great job explaining everything about the people and I really hope you don't get burned out in the middle and just start going 'this guy was alright'.

Like I said, a lot of the people in the middle are going to get probably 6-7 sentence writeups because I really don't give a crap about them either way. There's no way I'm doing something like this for, say, Aaron from China. But the ones I feel strongly about and the really controversial ones are going to get writeups like this. The top 25 will all have pretty decent-sized writeups. My #1 will probably take up quite a few posts.

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Carlos Mencia

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Yeah I've heard mixed things about working at movie theaters. Some of the tasks sound like they suck, but I won't deny that free/early screenings sound like a great perk.

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Trailer - 1:1,000,000

Considering work on the game just begun this year, it's near impossible that they're going to have a full trailer read.


Teaser - 1:1,000

A quick teaser, however, is a bit more possible.


Confirmed character(s) - 1:200

Even if it's just an offhand comment like "Mario, Link and all of your favorites are back..."


WiiU/3DS connectivity - 1:20

Given the WiiU is launching this year, there's GOT to be some talk about this at E3 be it for Smash or not. I think that Smash would be a prime candidate to talk a little bit about it, but given how little into development they are, it's probably a decent chance that they won't reveal anything yet.

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Yeah Jimmy was a dick in the friendship episode, but I liked him in general because he was like a more kid-friendly version of Kenny from South Park.

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A pattern I have noticed is that the person eliminated in the penultimate episode of the season is, with maybe two exceptions, usually a huge character. We're at the final six and Fabio, the intended boot, has immunity, and since Dan is no threat to anybody, Jane, Holly, Sash and Chase must eat one of their own. Oh, and I should mention that both Sash and Chase have hidden immunity idols, and tonight is the last night they can use them, meaning the boot is either going to be Jane or Holly. Sash, Chase and Holly all decide that if Jane makes it to the final three, she will win the jury vote in a heartbeat no matter who she is up against, and, like the brilliant strategists that Nicaragua was full of, they decide to tell her. Instead of trying to save herself by shifting the target to nonthreat Dan, she just flips them off and throws a bucket of water on the fire. Then at tribal council, she announces that she's going to call every other person left out on the "evil" things they did over the course of the game, but really she only calls out Holly on purposely destroying Dan's $1400 shoes. Actually, there was another person that she called out before the producers stepped in and had to get her to shut up, but we didn't get to see that on the show, and I'll explain that later. Anyway, Jane predictably gets voted out and tells Chase that he should be ashamed to call himself a Carolinian. So what does she do with her jury vote three days later? She uses it on Chase, the guy who betrayed her the hardest.

Yet despite her terribleness, she wins Fan Favorite by the largest margine ever up to that point. Really America? Over Fabio, the loveable goofball? Over Holly, who probably had the single biggest redemption arc in Survivor history? You took the bait and picked the horrible person that the editors wanted you to.

And there's one more reason that I hate Jane, and one that a lot of casuals do not know about. We in the hardcore fanbase refer to it as Mortgagegate. See, although it wasn't shown on the show since it's actually against the written rules of Survivor, Sash and Jane made a deal to split the money if one of them won to help pay off Jane's mortgage. This is the "evil" thing that Jane called Sash out on that the producers had to step in and settle themselves. Neither were penalized for it, but it had to be cut from the edit to avoid controversy. Now, Sash has let this whole thing go. He admits what he did was wrong and is not bitter towards Jane about it. That's not to say I'm a fan of Sash, because I hate him for other reasons, but I can respect that much. Jane, on the other hand, is still bitter about it. Really, just let it go. You won fan favorite, just be happy with the hundred grand you got from that.

#422: Had the most confessionals in their season

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423. Jane Bright (Nicaragua, 6th place)



Jane has the distinction of being my most hated Survivor who isn't my most hated within their season. Congrats. And I wish NaOnka hadn't quit so I could put Jane at the bottom of her season, because I absolutely loathed watching her. I think the biggest problem with Jane though is that I didn't start by hating her. In fact, she was actually one of my favorites in the first few episodes. But then she got progressively awful as the season went on, yet the editors still found a way to give her the most forced-positive edit in history because they knew she needed the money she would get from winning Fan Favorite.

Pre-season, I took one look at Jane, and my gut told me that she wasn't going to last. She was the oldest woman in the game and the third-oldest overall, she didn't look particularly strong, and she had a quirky personality. Even on the older tribe, things looked grim for her. But then the first episode starts and she is able to make fire minutes into the game without any kind of tools, and said how she really needed the money because her husband had just passed away, and immediately all of America, myself included, was rooting for her. Over the next few episodes we didn't see too much of her, except that she was really close with Jimmy Johnson and that was about it.

Then came the tribe swap. Suddenly, Jane found herself on a tribe with a bunch of kids in their 20s and decided that she fit in better with them than the people on her old tribe and immediately flopped. Fine, whatever. Smart move on her part, actually, because her old tribe was outnumbered on NuLa Flor. However, this was also the episode that for some reason she decided that she and Marty didn't like each other. There was no fight or hostility between them leading up to this moment, she just all of a sudden decided that the two of them were enemies. And that's where she started becoming really annoying. For the next five episodes, her entire edit is about how much she hates Marty and how big of a villain he is, despite Marty having done nothing to Jane except arrange her buddy Jimmy Johnson's boot. And there are two awful things about this, aside from the fact that it was just plain annoying. First, all of the young kids totally bought into this and, with the exception of Fabio, all started to hate Marty as well. Second, despite having everything in their power to vote Marty out, they didn't even do it. Now, that's not a bad thing from a viewer standpoint, because Marty brought a ton of entertainment to the season. But it just showed how nobody in that entire season was playing strategically. They vote out people like Jill and Kelly B. over a strategic threat that nobody likes, even when he didn't have his immunity idol to hide behind.

So we get to the merge and Jane is now in a superalliance that consists of herself, NaOnka, Brenda, Sash, Purple Kelly, Chase, and Holly, an alliance which by the way has exactly one member that I don't hate. They have all the cards in place to take out Marty again, and what do they do? Vote out Alina, who posed no immediate threat. And Jane continues to b**** about Marty. When they finally get around to voting out Marty in the next episode, Jane takes a shot below the belt and calls him a terrible father, even though she has never seen him as a parent. At this point Marty ruins any chance Jane still had at winning by promising everybody that if he is on the jury and Jane is in the final three, he will vote for her because everyone else was stupid enough to let her get that far. Even after Marty's boot Jane still finds things to b**** about, particularly people not taking her on rewards. So now we know that she's selfish too. And then comes her boot episode...

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1. Ed, Edd 'n' Eddy (1999-2009)

Before I even sat down to do some rewatching before writing this list there was no doubt in my mind which show the #1 spot was going to go to. Is it objectively the best? Probably not. But I just have so many awesome memories with this show to put it anywhere but at the top. I remember the first episode I ever saw. It was the Canadian squirt gun episode, packaged with the episode where Jonny and Plank broke up. I nearly died laughing at every turn. The jokes are not necessarily intelligent, but the sight gags are just so bizarre that it's impossible not to laugh. Though not exactly a character study, every character (sans one, I'll get to that below) adds something to the show. And of course, the part about it that gets the most praise is the animation. Even people who hate the show admit that it is creatively and brilliantly drawn. I remember way back in the day my friends and I wanted to act out a movie of it (of course it was a ridiculous idea, but it just showed how much we loved the show). I would stay up all the time just to watch it (and it was often on at ridiculously late times given its target age group). Even as recently as this year I purchased the first two seasons on DVD. There's a reason it lasted the longest of all the Cartoon Cartoons (edging out PPG by just a few months). I seriously wish they would bring back CCF or even make a Cartoon Cartoon Network dedicated solely to these 16 shows. But among them all, this one will always hold a special place in my heart.

Best Character: Ed
Ed's stupidity is one of the biggest reasons to watch the show! Every single situation is made funnier by Ed f***ing it up, doing something idiotic, or saying something that makes no sense (or vaguely refers to an event earlier in the episode).

Worst Character: Kevin
The only character that adds nothing to the show. Sarah can be unbearable, but at least she has her moments. Kevin's sole purpose on the show is just to shout, "DORKS!" at every turn. And I guess to be Eddy's rival for Nazz's affection, but that's relevant in what, five episodes?

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Today isn't over!

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Mik_Pick posted...

Also yeah 1 boot final episodes are a bit dull.

Yes they are. Luckily there have only been three.

Also, I've begun my ranking of all 426 castaways:

http://www.gamefaqs.com/boards/8-gamefaqs-contests/62927449

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Maybe I'll rewatch Robinsons again tonight. I recently picked up the DVD through Disney Rewards.

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DoctorBIind posted...

#48 – Meet the Robinsons (2007)
It makes sense given his predictable secret identity

Really? Because I didn't his his identity (or Cornelius' for that matter) coming at all.

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Yes of course!

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So two episodes later, Brandon, the target for elimination, wins immunity. All hope is lost as Coach, Sophie, Albert and Rick must now vote out one of their own. But wait, what's this? What if they pull a Fans vs. Favorites and Albert is able to convince Brandon to give him immunity? Sounds crazy, but then again, Brandon is crazy, so it just might work.... And it does. Brandon becomes the third person in Survivor history to give up individual immunity and the second person to be voted out as a result of doing so. So he goes to Redemption Island where 10 minutes into the finale he loses the duel to Ozzy and joins the jury.

This SHOULD be the end of Brandon's story, but of course, in true Hantz fashion, Brandon engages in some post-show shenanigans. Of course there's the segment dedicated to Russell bashing him at the reunion, and his divorce after "none of my family came to the reunion to see me." Well, Russell eventually revealed why - he SOLD his tickets. Yeah. Great guy. Oh, and of course he's a big center of attention on Twitter, but I don't really follow that crap.

#423: Was not on Heroes vs. Villains, but if they were, they would have been a Hero.

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Episode two he continues to remind us that he is Russell's nephew, but now he feels guilty about hiding that fact from everybody. So he decides to go tell one person. And who is that person? Yeah, Coach. The guy who hates Russell's guts more than anything else that has to do with Survivor. And of course Coach is taken aback by this and begins to become very wary of the guy who he was so close with just the night before. Then in episode three Brandon feels even guiltier and decides to come clean with the rest of the tribe, getting a whole slew of bewildered reactions (Stacey's is my favorite by far). Now everybody basically thinks that he can't be trusted, and we begin to get one of the worst parts about Brandon - screen time for Russell. That's right. Russell, who isn't even in the season, begins to get screen time in the form of flashbacks, mainly of Coach. And that wouldn't be so much of a problem except that already he's receiving more screen time than Whitney, Albert and Rick combined. Like, really? Did we really need this on what could have been a Russell-free season? Oh, and I should mention that there has not been a true completely Russell-free season since Samoa - even in Nicaragua Shannon mentioned him, and Jonas mentioned him in One World.

And so despite this, Brandon seems to be getting along with his tribe pretty well, except for one person. And here's where we get into the realm of uncomfortable. His relationship with Mikayla. Apparently Brandon doesn't like Mikayla because he thinks that she is some sort of seductress or something and he's afraid that he won't be able to resist her. So he constantly makes her feel uncomfortable in an attempt to drive her away from himself. And of course Mikayla, who absolutely 100% does not find Brandon attractive in any way, just wants to have a mature talk about it because she doesn't like being treated like s***. So this causes Brandon to flip out even more, and eventually, by episode 6, they vote her out. Yeah, you read correctly. With all his talk about being a good Christian man (and I do partially blame Brandon for the huge religious theme this season, but I'll get to that more in Coach's write-up) and being true to his wife and kids, Brandon literally voted out Mikayla because he couldn't resist the urge to rape her. Stand-up guy, if you ask me.

So the merge hits, and Brandon's edit actually dies down for a bit. In the merge episode he came dangerously close to getting an INV rating at Edgic, but was spared by his (literally) last-minute comment sticking up for Cochran, who had just flipped his vote and betrayed his entire tribe, for an UTRP1. Then in the next episode he's taunting the former Savaii members who have to compete for immunity while he and the rest of his alliance get to enjoy desserts because there's no chance any of them are going home. And while this pisses me off a little bit, I didn't think much of it because people have pissed me off much worse in this situation before (remember Jamie from Guatemala?). And Brandon continues to have a low-key edit....

Until the loved ones visit. And Brandon gets to see his father, Shawn Hantz, who Jeff wastes no time in pointing out is Russell's brother. And at this point, Brandon is one of two people who could even possibly break up the inevitable Coach/Sophie/Albert final three. So what does Shawn do? He pulls a Russell and begins threatening Coach to take Brandon to the final three, all but assuring now that this isn't going to happen.

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