A younger coworker has taken an interest in me.....

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Current Events » A younger coworker has taken an interest in me.....
doshindude posted...
They don't need to know about that.

HR is not your friend.

no actually this is one case where you might want to inform HR, depending upon the org.

you might not want to before moving in together or something, otherwise you are just friends hanging out as far as anyone is concerned.
April 15, 2024: The Day the Internet Died
Robot2600 posted...
no actually this is one case where you might want to inform HR, depending upon the org.
But you don't inform HR when you haven't even gone on a date, so the original comment was still weird
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I worked with a guy who was 31 where he asked out a 19 year old floor associate, and I had been wondering if I should have asked her out until I learned she was still a teenager. But dude just went for it and even told her his thing was if she STOPPED SHOWERING so that she smelled a little. She was nerdy, kinda between bell-shaped and pear-shaped had a giant ass but man don't be asking out teenagers in your 30s even if the statutory law doesn't apply anymore.
"You're made of spare parts, aren't ya, bud?"
ssb_yunglink2 posted...
Im one of the more hesitant people here regarding age gaps when the younger party is pretty young, but 20s mingling with 30s is not weird or questionable whatsoever. You know that.

Go pull this shit somewhere else

User Since: Sep 2020
Karma: 1679
Chickens and cheese.
KhlavicLanguage posted...
User Since: Sep 2020
Karma: 1679

More trolling? What a surprise.
WTF DUH I DUH
Idk if TC has responded, but did your coworker explicitly say she was romantically interested in you and/or wanted to pursue a relationship? I'm just curious on the context here.
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Post #59 was unavailable or deleted.
From CE Discord. Proof that KhlavicLanguage (Saffran) is purposely trolling CE

https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/a/forum/6/6ff8ddd2.jpghttps://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/a/forum/0/0e1dbeb6.jpg
Currently playing - Donkey Kong Bananza
Ask her to lunch or dinner (doesnt matter) and order a plate of fully loaded nachos for the table. If she is fair about eating the fully loaded ones and doesnt hog them while leaving you with just bare chips, she is worth pursuing.
Taxes, death, and trouble.
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Currently playing - Donkey Kong Bananza
Khlavvie being a hypocrite and shitposting for attention?

My goodness, how out of character.
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If your workplace is making you miserable, then I'd first look into addressing that. If you're able to find work elsewhere, you can attempt to stay in contact with her and not be the source of office gossip. And who knows? Something might spring from that.

But I wouldn't advise switching your workplace for the sole purpose of seeing where this could go. Your comfort and general well-being are more important, and I would suggest this regardless of her presence.
Do not shit where you eat.
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randy_123r posted...
First advice, don't take relationship advice from CE (or give it very little weight). I've noticed a lot of people here are out of touch, or speak upon the subject they know very little about.

But, if you want to listen to me, age at this range doesn't matter much. You either get jealousy from other people, or people initializing women. She also doesn't want to fling, so just having a friends with benefit thing is out of the question. This leaves if you see yourself in a longer term relationship with her. You mentioned you don't have a lot of things in common, so that can make it a bit difficult. But you don't always have to relate to someone else that way and share all the same interests. My partner doesn't play games at all, while I played them throughout my life. Consider your chemistry with each other and if it works.

Workplace relationships can become messy, that is true, but I've also seen sooooo many people find lasting relationships, and got married with coworkers. You may have to be extra careful there. But honestly, from your shit coworkers, the fact that you were thinking of leaving your job anyways, and the lack of interests, it may not work out. On the flip side, if you were planning on leaving, you could take more of a risk here, so if it fails and things get awkward at work, you were already one foot out of the door. So this is a tough one.


Skimming through this topic, this seems like the best advice.

None of what TC mentions about the other coworker doesn't seem like a red flag to me, though there are some factors that should be approached with caution.

Never got that "You should NEVER" date anyone that works for the same company as you" thing, as if a corporation should have power over who you talk to during your free time.

Don't date when there's a power imbalance? Totally get that. Things have a chance of getting complicated if the relationship turns sour? Totally get that.

But the workplace is one of the places where you regularly see the same people. Its not unusual for those people to get along with each other to various degrees. You just have to not be stupid about it.

So honestly TC? If you're curious about things, do something low stakes. An activity where you can talk to her outside of the workplace, but isn't inherently romantic in nature. Sometime two friends could do together.

Black Lives Matter. ~ DYL ~ (On mobile)
Umbreon posted...
Never got that "You should NEVER" date anyone that works for the same company as you" thing, as if a corporation should have power over who you talk to during your free time.
Five bucks says it was probably just a way for corpos to control their workers.
How can the moon landing be real if the moon isn't real?
Unknown5uspect posted...
Five bucks says it was probably just a way for corpos to control their workers.

Oh I wouldn't be surprised. Employees having genuine bonds are harder to push around than a bunch of miserable folks who are trying to backstab each other at the first opportunity for advancement.

Not saying there's a 0% chance of nothing going wrong, but who you spend your time with off the clock is none of your job's business if it doesn't negatively impact their reputation or doesn't negatively impact your ability to do your job.
Black Lives Matter. ~ DYL ~ (On mobile)
Don't shit where you eat, to put it simply.
Weigh the pros and cons, but always assess the impact of what life will be like if the relationship goes extremely awry. I personally would avoid it if I was in that situation, but that's my personal onion.
Okay I was not expecting this many responses to this topic. So to address a few things: I do not recognize that one particular user who seems to be a troll. I don't really have patience for that kind of thing so ignoring them seems to be the best option here. Thank you to those who pointed that out.

Second, as for what I said about the lack of things we have in common, I probably should've phrased that differently so that's on me for saying it's entirely because of our age gap. Despite her being comfortable around me and initiating conversations, she's still a pretty shy person. I imagine it'll take a bit of time to get to know certain things about her. We do have different interests sure, but we both like certain things (like cooking for example), and we even have some similar personality traits (aside from both of us being introverted people). I'll probably find that I have more in common with her over time (hopefully).

Regarding whether or not she's actually expressed her interest in me, she flat-out told me I was her type pretty early on, and the frequent hugs made it all the more obvious.

As for the whole HR thing, I've learned never to trust them for anything, and the head of HR is not someone I or any of my coworkers have ever had pleasant interactions with.

Now about the coworkers who I mentioned earlier, I have quite a few who are just infuriating to deal with, who eavesdrop on every conversation and gossip about damn near everything. They're a problem to deal with no matter what I do.

Also for what it's worth, I have multiple coworkers who met their spouse at work and are happily married, and recently found out that an old work friend has also just married a former coworker.

I'd also just like to say thanks to anyone who posted in this topic and meant well. I'm aware that there are some troublesome users on this board who post joke topics and are a general nuisance, but I was quite serious when I made this topic. I'm running on very little sleep so my thoughts are pretty scattered at the moment and I rushed to type up this response, and I apologize for pestering you guys with my personal stuff.
Nothing to apologize for, TC. Plenty of us have no problem offering advice. I definitely say go for it, given everything else you shared. But no harm in taking it slow. Invite her to do something fun outside of the office so you don't have to worry about the gossipers. Nothing you can really do about those types, unfortunately. I've had gossipers believe I was dating another coworker just from us making small talk on breaks. Never flirted with her, hugged her, or anything. "They're both young and single, they must be dating" is pretty much the logic that was used.
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Dissident_77 posted...
From CE Discord. Proof that KhlavicLanguage (Saffran) is purposely trolling CE

https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/a/forum/6/6ff8ddd2.jpghttps://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/a/forum/0/0e1dbeb6.jpg

This guy's exist is long overdue.
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It's your topic, and people have the choice whether or not to engage with what you're putting out here. So yeah, no need to apologize for asking for advice and insight.

GiftedACIII posted...
[Image]
This guy's exist is long overdue.
Jeez, even the Discord is filled with, well, discord? i can't imagine engaging in all that stuff in real time.
Will_1231 posted...
It's your topic, and people have the choice whether or not to engage with what you're putting out here. So yeah, no need to apologize for asking for advice and insight.

Jeez, even the Discord is filled with, well, discord? i can't imagine engaging in all that stuff in real time.

Looks like it. Also I meant to post "exit".
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Wish you the best, TC. Ignore the noise. You may have to figure out what your own dealbreakers are, if it's worth exploring, and if you're willing to learn new hobbies or share your own. Hopefully, you don't feel forced and it can be an enjoyable experience even if you conclude romance isn't the best option!
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Will_1231 posted...
It's your topic, and people have the choice whether or not to engage with what you're putting out here. So yeah, no need to _apologize for asking for advice and insight.

Jeez, even the Discord is filled with, well, discord? i can't imagine engaging in all that stuff in real time.
@will_1231

Actually the discord is generally more chill. There are only a couple people that cause issues. KhlavicLanguage isn't even usually there, and we all told him to fuck off
Currently playing - Donkey Kong Bananza
The title for this episode is

That time Ninjaman took a lover
Moustache twirling villain
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without reading the topic:

I get it, I've dated coworkers at a few of my jobs. It's 100% not worth it.

potential post-break up awkwardness aside, work never stays at work, and your personal life never stays personal. its a recipe for making things toxic.
?
BucketCat posted...
I get it, I've dated coworkers at a few of my jobs. It's 100% not worth it.

potential post-break up awkwardness aside, work never stays at work, and your personal life never stays personal. its a recipe for making things toxic.
This
Moustache twirling villain
https://i.imgur.com/U3lt3H4.jpg- Kerbey
BucketCat posted...
without reading the topic:

I get it, I've dated coworkers at a few of my jobs. It's 100% not worth it.

potential post-break up awkwardness aside, work never stays at work, and your personal life never stays personal. its a recipe for making things toxic.
But if there is a chance it will work out, and not trying makes you question "what if" the rest of your life
Currently playing - Donkey Kong Bananza
Dissident_77 posted...
But if there is a chance it will work out, and not trying makes you question "what if" the rest of your life
The way I see that particular question is that if youre both that sure this is actually going to work out one of you should be willing to find somewhere else to work. That presumes youre literally working in the same job area. Someone in accounting and another in operations doesnt count.

But if neither of you were even willing to do that to be together, it wasnt that serious.
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As long as you're not taking advantage of her the only thing that matters for two adults is whether you connect. If you do, you do. If you don't you don't.

Dissident_77 posted...

Actually the discord is generally more chill. There are only a couple people that cause issues. KhlavicLanguage isn't even usually there, and we all told him to fuck off


That sounds pretty cool honestly. I might check it out.
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I guess I should give a quick update: after talking a bit more, I asked her out today. She said 'yes' pretty much immediately. Well boys and girls, I have no idea what's gonna happen next, but for what it's worth I regret nothing. Come what may.
ninjaman44 posted...
I guess I should give a quick update: after talking a bit more, I asked her out today. She said 'yes' pretty much immediately. Well boys and girls, I have no idea what's gonna happen next, but for what it's worth I regret nothing. Come what may.

God speed little doodle.
"You're made of spare parts, aren't ya, bud?"
ninjaman44 posted...
I guess I should give a quick update: after talking a bit more, I asked her out today. She said 'yes' pretty much immediately. Well boys and girls, I have no idea what's gonna happen next, but for what it's worth I regret nothing. Come what may.
Congrats! It may or may not be disaster but you won't wonder "what if?"
Currently playing - Donkey Kong Bananza
Do it lady.
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ninjaman44 posted...
I guess I should give a quick update: after talking a bit more, I asked her out today. She said 'yes' pretty much immediately. Well boys and girls, I have no idea what's gonna happen next, but for what it's worth I regret nothing. Come what may.
Some lessons must learned the hard way I suppose. Or you'll be a lotto winner, either way good luck!
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KhlavicLanguage posted...
Yikes.

What part of that are you taking issue with? Its totally fair. Its good advice.
Dissident_77 posted...
From CE Discord. Proof that KhlavicLanguage (Saffran) is purposely trolling CE

https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/a/forum/6/6ff8ddd2.jpghttps://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/a/forum/0/0e1dbeb6.jpg

absolutely destroyed him. good job

I am invested in this story now. Anytime I have done this tc, it ended up horribly for me. However I'm not saying don't do it. Just be careful, you are 100% playing with fire. I do wish you the best, keep us updated.
ninjaman44 posted...
I guess I should give a quick update: after talking a bit more, I asked her out today. She said 'yes' pretty much immediately. Well boys and girls, I have no idea what's gonna happen next, but for what it's worth I regret nothing. Come what may.
I hope things work out well for you! I know it didn't for me when I had a similar co-worker fling.
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I have no updates for now, and considering how this board works, this topic will probably be closed before anything significant happens. I just wanted to say thanks again and I appreciate the concern. I'm well aware of how things can take a turn for the worse, and I'm trying to approach this as realistically as possible so I don't set myself (or her) up for disappointment.

For now I, I'm just trying to figure out where I'll take her. I am so fucking bad at planning these kinds of things out.
I will reiterate my suggestion that, regardless of her, you should try tonfind work elsewhere. Having a history of employment will help you, and it might benefit you greatly to get out of that environment.

Regardless, best of luck with wherever things go!
Looks like that khlavic dude is gone.
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Anecdotal sample. My eldest sibling found and married their senior coworker. They being the junior and the other being senior in the work place. After marriage, they moved from company to company as a package deal. So, if they liked one, they would hire both because they wouldn't work unless it was the case. The thinking here is that both would be motivated to work if for the same company. Food for thought.
Above all things, never be afraid. The enemy who forces you to retreat is himself afraid of you at that very moment.
Current Events » A younger coworker has taken an interest in me.....
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