Poll of the Day > I'm having an internal debate about whether to go to work or not tomorrow.

(+) Yeah! (+)

It all started when I had to turn in my car for repairs over a week ago. They still haven't been able to fix it. They said initially that they'd be able to fix it on Thursday. Then on Friday, they claimed that they needed extra parts, which they claimed won't arrive until Monday at the soonest. It's driving me crazy (no pun intended). I am starting to lose it. I used to have this system of cleanlienss in my life that has disintegrated ever since I turned my car in. I used to have a mental store of what had 'inside germs' and what had 'outside germs'. Stuff that had 'inside germs' generally comprised my bed, my kitchenette, and a spot on my couch I'd sit on in order to use my personal computer. Stuff that had 'outside germs' would generally be things I'd have to take outside, like my wallet, my phone and my backpack. But now I've been taking Uber rides to work, and it's just been disastrous for my mental health; the thought of sitting in all these foreign cars, not knowing what other strangers have sat in them before me --- it's been taxing on my mental health. I've been in full-panic mode for over a week now, and it's been hell, to say the least. My memory's been failing as a result of my nerves. It's getting harder and harder for me to remember what I touched, what type of germs it had, and what objects I had touched since then. Now, I feel like everything's just falling apart. I've found myself constantly washing and cleaning, trapped in a cycle of trying to rid myself of germs that I can't even remember were there or not. I won't lie that I give into my OCD-like tendencies like this subconsciously out of spite and a need to see equilibrium restored to my life. My system of cleanliness has essentially been disintegrated, much like that Communism thing in the year 1990, and now the East and the West of my Germany are mixed together in ways that are just driving me insane. I really can't take it anymore. For the past two months, I've had to spend a lot of money on a lot of expenses: a bill for the MRI I had to undergo, a busted tire on my car, a bunch more doctor expenses, the expenses I had to incur when ensuring that my apartment had a water supply I would be unable to fret about, and now my car engine needs maintenance. It's been hectic and trying. I've been waiting for that point in the year when I don't need to spend any more money and I can start recuperating my losses with my income. But so far, that point is yet to come; the anxiousness and anticipation of both this and waiting for my car to be ready are wracking my nerves until they are well wrought. I really need to return to my equilibrium, and wait for it is killing me. I'm about to collapse. I can't focus on my projects anymore, because all I can think about how it'll get contaminated by the 'outside germs' that may or may not be in my 'inside germ' space. I can't stop obsessing over setting everything right once my car is finally ready to be picked up. A part of me is spiteful towards the dealership's shop; my car's my damn sanctuary from it all. People are extremely painful to deal with. One Uber driver pressed me to add an extra seventeen-dollar tip to the thirty-three dollar fare that he already accepted for driving me to work. Not only that, but co-workers have been giving me the finger; they've been whispering about me, giving me dirty looks and such; I really can't stand being around them. I get an awful feeling that something bad is going to happen when I quit soon, a hazing to send me off, as I am wont to endure thanks to all those years I spent in intermediate school, high school, and college as well. All they seem to do is get in my way when I try to get to my desk; as I write this I realize this may not be all accidental. I tell myself that I don't care, and I act like it too. But the truth is, it's way more trying than I let on. I really can't do this anymore. That's not even taking into account my CPTSD from a suppressed childhood that I can only half-remember properly. I can't even trust my so-called family with my troubles; I can't even be sure if they were part of my childhood abuse or not. I want to say they weren't, but I'm not too sure. I'm also remembering traumatic things that may not have even happened; they might be things that actually have happened, but they might be things that I am only afraid have happened. I'm sick of being here. Nobody here can spell right. I feel like the longer I have to spend time around them, the more they'll rub off on me; the thought gives me the damn shivers. I just don't like bad grammar; it makes me wince. Unfortunately, there's so much of it going around. It's like a bad disease that no one gives a damn about because they just lack the ability to notice it. I feel like I'm about to faint.

Mental health is important. You can call in sick for mental health reasons, not that you have to give a reason to whomever you have to call in to.

If you don't feel up to working, there's nothing going on at work that's urgent enough to warrant pushing through that, and you've got enough paid sick leave to not have to consider the financial implications of taking a day off, take the day off. It's what sick leave exists for, regardless of the nature of your illness.

The rest, you need heckin' therapy, my dude.

adjl posted...

The rest, you need heckin' therapy, my dude.

This.

Also, you need to learn what paragraph breaks are.

EclairReturns posted...

I just don't like bad grammar; it makes me wince. Unfortunately, there's so much of it going around. It's like a bad disease that no one gives a damn about because they just lack the ability to notice it.

... this makes me think the rest is trolling, but if not take the day off.

Take some time to heal.

https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/a/forum/6/6b6892a6.jpg

Are you in a situation where you NEED the money from working one day? If yes then suck everything up and go. If not then take a break for your mental health.

I've had places where I worked where I knew going in on a certain day was going to upset me and I've gone and didn't feel good about it. Then I've had days where I called out and felt much better. My life isn't worth me going and spending 8-14 hours at work for a day and feeling terrible. I can probably still make it to old age whether I worked that day or not so I'm going to choose to live that day not choosing to feel bad. That's my view on it anyway.

Did you go to work?

Nichtcrawler-X posted...

Mental health is important. You can call in sick for mental health reasons, not that you have to give a reason to whomever you have to call in to.

Thanks for the validation, guy. I really appreciate it.

PMarth2002 posted...

this

I'm not joking.

ooger posted...

Did you

I did not.